The Best Kept Secret of Seireitei
by RAWRified
Summary: Little is known of Kya. She appears to live only for her missions and hardly ever returns to Seireitei. That is, until she is brought back on a very important assignment. COMPLETE .ByaOC.
1. Background story info

**Background story information**

Right, first the typical author shizaz. I do not own Bleach or have anything to do with its production or whatever odd stuff there is.

Now, my story.

**IT IS NOW COMPLETE! OVER! NO MORE! **

**2) I have finally put a CHARACTER DESIGN up on deviantart (link on profile) It does contain spoilers for the story, so if you don't want to know, don't look! There are also other illustrations on there, including new ones that I don't mention in the a/n.**

**3) I have now put up a SEQUEL to this! It's called 'The Worst Kept Secret of Seireitei'. Original, huh? And I won't tell what's it's about here because it contains a spoiler, but it's not ByaOC. It's HitsuOC (a different one though).**

**4) Big apology for bad writing. Don't blame me, I was only 15 at the time of writing. I promise the sequel is better. Err, also, be warned that ff has taken out all the page breaks. I would go and put them all back in, but there's a lot of them and I have no time.**

It's gonna take place a year or so after the Bounto arc. For the sake's of keeping it simple we're gonna ignore the whole Hueco Mundo arc and anything after that as it hasn't finished yet (or hadn't at the time of writing). This means Aizen, Gin and Tosen won't appear, but will be mentioned (briefly). You can tell how long ago this was written since nothing had been divulged about Gin's true motives or what happens to Aizen. Sorry people.

There's also gonna be lots of hints at other pairings. After ch 50 some of these are divulged slightly further, but really hardly anything. Some of these are; IchiRuki, MatsuMaru, YoruHara, ZaraUno, HitsuHina, ShunNan, KiraSagi, IshiHime, etc.

It'll start off in Seireitei but goes to the real world in ch 44, meaning there will eventually be some Ichigo and other characters that only appear there, like Urahara.

It's mainly comedy at the beginning and hardly any romance, but it gets there, i promise. It just takes some time as i have to include lots of angst-filled moments first.

Here's a list of chapters that contain specific stuff;

- Comedy –  
33. Sister  
45. My ickle Fluffykins  
63. Explosions go boom!

- Angst –  
16. Old places, new fights  
50. The girl  
64. Goodbye

- Fluff –  
31. Doubts & realisations  
35. Morning peace  
47. Sharing

- Fighting –  
56. Zanon – 61. Easy Prey

I think that's it. Ok, now read people!


	2. An Urgent Summoning

**Please excuse the lack of comedy in this one. It's basically just opening the story though, so it doesn't need any.**

**Chapter 1 : An urgent summoning**

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Byakuya stood there, shocked.

Was he imagining things? Or was she really here?

She jumped on Zaraki and embraced him in one huge bear hug. He looked pissed, yet he didn't try to shake her off.

Yes, she was definitely here. Now the question was; WHY was she here?

She wouldn't have come if there wasn't a good reason, or a mission, probably a mission. That was the only reason why Kya ever went anywhere.

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_Seven days earlier_

Sitting alone on some mountain somewhere in the real world, Kya opened her eyes and looked down at her surroundings. A sakura tree - that was what she was sitting in. The branches were bare; no soft pink petals were carried away by the gentle breeze. Winter was near, and a frost hung in the air around her. Kya was glad for this. Not only did it mean that that ever so annoying sun, which only seemed more intense in this world, would not be irritating her so much, but it also meant that the memories would be stirred less often.

She didn't need those memories, not anymore.

Kya suddenly dropped down from her position on one of the highest branches to the ground. She had sensed it before she had seen it. In the distance slowly making its way towards her was a small black dot, just floating in mid-air. Of course, it wasn't a black dot. Kya knew this.

She stood there, waiting for the floating object to approach her. After a second or two of waiting the delicate black hell butterfly had made its way over to where she was situated. It fluttered around her, waiting for the response. It came, and as Kya held out a finger in front of her, the butterfly landed elegantly. A voice rang forth, and Kya knew she was the only one who could hear it.

_ARAKAKI KYA, AS A RESULT OF THE SUCCESSFUL CLOSING OF YOUR LAST MISSION, NEW ORDERS HAVE BEEN ASSIGNED. YOU ARE TO REPORT BACK TO SEIREITEI IMMEDIATELY FOR BRIEFING._

_VICE CAPTAIN __CHOJIRO SASAKIBE, DIVISION 1._

Huh? Did he say report back to Seireitei? Kya hadn't been to Seireitei for about twenty years. And then it had been to complete an assignment, not to be briefed on one. It just wasn't necessary. Hell butterflies were perfectly suffice for giving details on missions, they were possibly even more secure than actually visiting the commander general in person. Why now then was she being called back there?

God, that Sasakibe. Kya would swear he was gay and had a man-crush on Yamamoto. He practically worshipped him. Like she would take orders from him? No, she was just going to wait until Yamamoto himself decided to contact her and kindly explain why she had to go to the Seireitei.

Now, usually Kya would stick by her orders and would have gone where she was told to go, but not now. She didn't want to return to Seireitei. It was corrupt, violent and not to mention _boring_. Kya ignored the voice in her head telling her of the other reason why she didn't want to return.

"Shut up" she muttered to herself, cursing that bothersome voice in her brain.

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_Three days ago_

A day had passed since Kya received another message from Sasakibe telling her to return to Seireitei 'immediately'. Again she had chosen to ignore him and stay where she was. I think the exact words she used were "goddamn fool, telling me what to do, well he can just stick his order up his idolizing as-".

She was currently lying in the darkness of a small cave in the mountain wall, pondering her next move. Yet again she was disturbed by the familiar feeling she got when a hell butterfly was near.

She stood up and moved to the entrance of the cave. As expected a black fluttering creature appeared and flickered in front of her. She held out her finger in acceptance.

_KYA, I EXPECT YOU HAVE NOT TAKEN NOTICE OF THE PREVIOUS MESSAGES AND HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR A COMMUNICATION FROM MYSELF. I HAVE AGREED TO GRANT YOU THAT AS I KNOW YOU ARE UNLIKELY TO CO-OPERATE UNLESS I DO SO._

_I ALSO REALISE THAT YOU ARE NOT FOND OF SEIREITEI AND DO NOT WISH TO RETURN. UNFORTUNATELY YOUR NEXT ASSIGNMENT MUST BE HANDLED WITHIN ITS WALLS. THEREFORE YOU WILL RETURN AND BE BREIFED AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND THAT __THIS MUST BE THE CASE._

_SHIGENKUNI YAMAMOTO__, GENERAL OF THE COURT DIVISIONS._

So he had finally contacted her himself. Well, that was good news. But what was this about the mission being inside Seireitei's walls? That was not so good news. This meant she had to return; she had no choice in the matter. If she refused the mission then she would surely be stripped of her position and forced into one of the squadrons. That was not an appealing idea for someone like Kya.

Now she had to go.

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_Present day_

Yamamoto had summoned a meeting. The captains and their lieutenants were to attend. If they didn't there would be trouble.

"But whyyyy?" Kya whined to Yamamoto. It was the forth time she had asked this question, every time he had given the same answer.

"Because you are the only one of high ranking and my approval that will not be biased towards any one party" he explained, it being a word-for-word repeat of his previous responses.

"Well that's just stupid" was Kya's amazing retort. She walked over to the corner of the room and slumped down in the shadow, not wanting to give Yamamoto the satisfaction of seeing her sulking.

She had arrived two hours ago and had been taken directly to Yamamoto's office by one of the guards. If she wanted she could have slipped past them easily, but she wanted to see what sort of reception she received. It wasn't much of one, just being swept away into the old man's office; they didn't even bat an eyelid.

Yamamoto had explained the assignment carefully, and as he did so Kya's face gradually got more and more disgusted. This assignment was one she definitely did not want to do. Not only that, but she was expected to stay in Seireitei until it was completed, and who knew how long that would take?

The door to the long room opened slowly and two figures walked in. Kya recognised both of them, although she had only met one in person. They greeted the general and then took up their correct positions along the wall. Obviously, they did not notice Kya in the shadows. She held the ability to completely hide her reiatsu and this helped her undertake missions where she needed to be unnoticed.

Matsumoto yawned. Hitsugaya sighed in annoyance at his lieutenant.

Slowly the room filled up. The captains and their lieutenants stood at their designated positions. Kya remained hidden in the corner, not to keen on the idea of showing herself. Soon everyone had assembled, all except one, Kya noticed.

Finally the door opened and there stood the person she was least looking forward to seeing. Byakuya strolled in and took his place next to Renji. At last everybody was here.

"Captains, Lieutenants," Yamamoto began, causing everyone to instantly look up and alert, "I have brought you here to inform you of something that will be occurring here over the next month or so." Everyone looked confused at this. "As you know, due to the recent happenings that involved three of our most respected captains, new measures have been put in place to ensure that something of this nature will not occur again. Therefore, each of you will shortly be profiled and verified by an unbiased observer. This observer will then report back to me and any of you which they have found to be suspicious will be investigated and, if necessary, removed from status." He stopped. Shocked expressions were seen around the room. Nobody spoke, that is, until they regained their composure.

"Ken-chan isn't suspicious! Profiling and verifying isn't fair!" Yachiru whined. Similar words came forth; each saying there was no need for profiling. These remarks mainly came from a few certain people; Matsumoto, Renji, and Yachiru being the main contributors.

"Just what exactly does this profiling include?" Zaraki spoke up over the din his companion was making. Everyone fell silent waiting for the answer.

"That is completely up to the observer. I have no control over how they wish to continue." Yamamoto answered. The complaining started up again. Yachiru was positively screaming now.

"Who is this observer?" The familiar voice sent shivers down Kya's spine. Byakuya had reduced the room to silence once more. His one question was quiet yet it contained the authority that only he could possess.

"Well, I think most of you already know her" Yamamoto said. No, this meant Kya would have to emerge. Dammit, I wanna stay here!! She thought to herself. She glanced around the room, no one was complaining now; their brains had been preoccupied with the wonder of who this person was. Yamamoto looked towards the corner where Kya was hidden.

"Hey" she said calmly walking out of the shadows.

People gasped.

Some looked shocked.

A few just looked confused.

Matsumoto and Yachiru squealed in delight.

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**I know that wasn't very good, but you know, oh well. I'm gonna go have a sneaky ciggy now. **

**Review pleasie. YAY!!**


	3. Not A Very Good First Impression

**I've just reread this one and it's really bad, please don't hold that against me though, as it will get better, I **_**pwomise**_

**Chapter 2 : Not a very good first impression**

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"KYA!!!!" Matsumoto cried as she rushed forwards.

"MATSUMOTO!!!!" A slow motion scene of both women running towards each other, arms outstretched before them, in the cliché love story way, occurred. They reached each other and embraced. Well, tried to embrace; Kya was knocked backwards by Matsumoto's oversized breasts.

"PURPLE-CHAN!" Yachiru squealed jumping up to give Kya a hug. She aimed too high and instead of landing in her arms, she hit her square in the face.

"Uh, Yachiru, I can't see." She said while Yachiru clung to her head.

"Sorry Purple-chan!" Yachiru said as she scrambled around Kya's head so she was now hanging on the back, sitting on her shoulders. 'Purple-chan' was in reference to Kya's hair, which was a dark purple colour with lighter streaks at the front. Yachiru had always called her that. Kya had gotten used to it.

Everyone else was stunned as the three girls started talking rapidly, catching up on their lives. The speech was far too fast for anyone else to understand. All people could do was occasionally make out the words 'Oh my god!' or 'That's so cool!' but mainly it was just screeching.

Kya shouted.

Matsumoto shrieked.

Yachiru squealed.

Hitsugaya sighed.

"Cough" Joshiro cleared his throat, or maybe he actually was coughing, who could tell? The three women stopped their rampant discussion.

"Oh yeah," Kya said remembering where she was, "hi everyone"

All eyes were on the strange person who had just shown herself. The people that knew her were shocked that she had returned. The people that didn't were just plain shocked.

"Ken-chan!" Kya yelled as she ran over to where he was standing and leapt onto him. She was the only person other than Yachiru that could call him that. Actually, she was the only other person who had ever tried. No one else would dare in fear of being turned into a tiny little mass that resembled pencil shavings.

Kya hung onto Zaraki round his neck, her feet clearly off the ground. Zaraki raised one eyebrow in a twitch and anger marks appeared on his forehead. He didn't, however, try to shift her. Finally she got down and looked at his now rage-contorted face.

"Cheer up Ken-chan! You really do take things too seriously." His face only screwed up more at Kya's words. She turned to face the person standing next to Zaraki.

"Awwww! Sooooo cute!" she said crouching down to be at face level with Hitsugaya. She pulled at his cheek, smiling manically.

"Stop that." Hitsugaya told her as an anger mark now appeared on his forehead. Matsumoto came over and crouched next to Kya.

"Oh, don't worry about Taicho! He can just be a little grumpy at times!" She exclaimed

"I am not grumpy!" he shouted back.

"Whatever you say Taicho" Matsumoto said in that disbelieving way. Hitsugaya was about to respond when Kya cut him off.

"Ahh! Pervert!" Kya suddenly yelled as she pointed at the face of the man standing next to Hitsugaya. Hisagi looked down to where she was pointing; the 69 tattoo on his left cheek. "Pervert! Pervert! Pervert!"

Hisagi collapsed on the floor in disbelief. Kya stopped yelling and put a finger to her chin in thought.

"Although, he is a cute pervert" she said contemplating. Half-way through getting up Hisagi again collapsed. No way could this woman be entrusted with such an important task as she was. He doubted she could even manage to kill a minor hollow without getting herself ripped apart.

"Kya" Kya swung around, knocked out of her pondering by Yamamoto's voice. "You're not making a very good first impression."

"Oh right, I am incredibly sorry, I did not mean to call you a pervert, or cute, it is my own fault." She said in a much deeper voice than usual. "There, something like that?" she asked Yamamoto, her voice back to normal again. He didn't say anything but his eyebrows furrowed.

"Shunsui!" she now jumped over to the eighth division captain and gave him a hug. Nanao hit him over the head with her book when his hand started to slip a bit lower than her back.

"And you must be Komamura, it is a pleasure to meet you." Kya said as she walked over to the giant fox and bowed. He nodded in response.

"You look dull" she said simply, walking right past Lieutenant Iba. It was clear now that Kya was circulating the room, greeting old friends and meeting the new faces. She crossed the room and stopped briefly in front of the next captain, then continued on. Byakuya's face had told her that he did not wish to speak to her.

"Abarai Renji, I've wanted to ask you this for such a long time…" she stood in front of him looking closely at his face, "…why'd you tattoo weird eyebrows on your face?"

"What?!" he tried to step forward fists clenched, but was stopped when Byakuya put an arm in the way. He glanced up at his captain, whose face was as placid as ever.

It was too late, Kya had moved onto her next victim.

"Aww, you're so cute!" she squealed at Momo.

"Er" she just stood there, not sure what to say, "thank you"

"And Unohana, how nice it is to see you so well" Kya again bowed. Unohana smiled warmly.

"Not nearly as nice as it is to see you, Arakaki-sama." She replied also bowing.

"How many times? It's Kya, ok?" they smiled at each other then Kya moved on again.

"Dull" she said to the forth lieutenant and walked around.

"Weird hair" she said to the next on her travels. Kira looked hurt as Kya walked straight past him.

"Soifon" was what she said stiffly to the second division captain and Special Forces leader. She nodded just as stiffly. They didn't get on last time Kya was here. Kya thought she was just a rough imitation of Yoruichi without the personality, and Soifon thought Kya was just a rebellious twat with no sense of duty. Kya crossed back over the room ignoring Soifon's lieutenant.

"Joshiro!" she greeted the captain with a hug, this time not as rough as the ones she had previously given, "How are you feeling? Not to bad I hope."

"No, and all the better for seeing you my dear" he laughed slightly and Kya embraced him softly again.

"Oh my god! I love your hat! Where'd you get it?" she squealed as she turned to Mayuri. His eyes narrowed. "Oh don't be so moody! Honestly Mayuri, you haven't changed at all!"

Mayuri narrowed his eyes further, basically reducing them to slits.

"Well," Kya addressed the entire room, their questioning eyes not seeming to disturb her at all, "I think that's everyone then, except you Nemu, but I'm sure you're just as quiet as ever, so then, what's now Yamamoto?"

"As I already said, that is up to you" he replied.

"Um, excuse me," everyone's attention turned to the new speaker. Kira was standing there nervously. "I don't mean to be rude or anything, but who are you?"

"Oh yeah, some of you don't know do you, forgot about that. Well, let's see, who am I? hmm" Kya pondered this for a second. "I suppose I'm Arakaki Kya. Just Arakaki Kya," she turned back to Yamamoto, "Yeah, Yamamoto I've been meaning to talk to you about that. I should have a title. It's getting really annoying introducing myself as just Arakaki Kya, there should be something else to it, you know?"

"And how many people have you introduced yourself to using your real name in the past five years?" he asked

"Fair point, but still, I want a title" she said determined to get one.

"I'll think about it"

"Hmpf" Kya said knowing that that probably meant no. She turned back to the rest of the room. "Anyway, yeah, call me Arakaki and I'll have to murder you and your entire family, it's Kya, calling me formally is just stupid, I should be known by me, not by my family."

That didn't really answer Kira's question. He had already worked out her name, but who she was was a very different question.

"But," this time it was Hisagi who had spoken, having only just regained his composure and managing to stand up, "why were you chosen for this?"

"Because I am the only one of high ranking and the General's approval that will not be biased towards any one party" she repeated what Yamamoto had previously told her, her voice trying to replicate his ancient tone. She added in her normal accent, "Basically I'm the only one that can start this without a prejudgement of who's better than who," Mayuri rolled his eyes at this, knowing full well that Kya had reason enough to be the most judgemental person in the room, "And I'm the only one that's smart enough"

Several people fell over at hearing this, including Hisagi again.

"Anyway," she ignored, or didn't notice, the crumpled bodies now lying lifeless on the floor, and stretched. "I'm gonna go find my room and sleep, travelling between worlds really takes it out of me. I'll let you know how I'm gonna do this whole investigation thing sometime in the future. See you all"

And she left, actually stepping over Renji's inanimate form on the way out.

Byakuya watched. It was going to be _interesting_ having Kya back. That was for sure.


	4. Tests and Hangovers

**I'm going away tomorrow. It's gonna be propa dull. Waaaahhhh!!! I have to get up at… 8:00?! WTF?! That's ridiculous! I go to bed at 7:00! Only 1 hour sleep, oh my god…**

**Anyway… enough of my rambling…**

**Chapter 3 : Tests and Hangovers**

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Kya stumbled out of the door to the room that Yamamoto had so kindly donated. It was midday and the sun was high in the sky, or as Kya so elegantly put it; '#£ing sun $!&ing up my !?ing morning, why if it wasn't so &£+ing high I'd /#ing kick it to $!'ing hell…' Ok, she was a tad more grumpy than usual this morning, but that honestly wasn't her fault!

You see, as a surprise, a few people decided to hold a little welcome back party the previous night for Kya. And by a few people I mean Matsumoto. Of course she wanted to invite half of Seireitei, but as Matsumoto was terrible at keeping secrets, Kya had found out and ran away from it. Matsumoto had followed, leaving half of Seireitei to stand around for an hour waiting for something to happen. When it was obvious that nothing was going to happen and Matsumoto wasn't going to show up, they gradually disbanded, some staying despite the lack of a reason to party.

You may say, well that's no reason for her to be grumpy this morning! And you would be right; alone that would be no reason for her to be grumpy this morning. However, after running away from the party Kya and Matsumoto had decided to _catch up_, which basically meant staying up till dawn drinking. Take that it mind and you'll realise why Kya wasn't in the sweetest mood.

"Who would guess that even Shinigami got hangovers?" she muttered to herself on the way through the corridors towards the staircase.

She was on her way to the meeting that she had called between the Captains and the Lieutenants. She was already an hour late, but it was her meeting, she could turn up when she damn wanted to! She climbed the first lot of stairs up to the place she had agreed to meet them.

"Why did I decide to hold it up at the top of this building?" she mumbled

It was fifteen minutes later, a fifteen minutes full of tripping, grumbling and swearing I might add, when she finally reached the top. She was standing at the highest point of the large white building near the centre of Seireitei. Before her was a flat roof-like surface, massive in size and completely bare.

On the other side of the roof Kya saw them, the high-ranking officers. A few were sitting on the ground, tired of waiting for someone to appear. Some were standing in small groups, deep in discussion. Some were just standing separately, deep in contemplation. One was lying on the floor in a heap, snore marks escaping from their lips. Hitsugaya spotted Kya approaching and prodded Matsumoto in the side in a feeble attempt to wake her. She carried on sleeping.

As Kya slowly made her way over to the group more and more people started to notice her presence and get into their correct places in a line. By the time Kya was in front of them it was only Matsumoto that wasn't in line, her still being slumped on the ground.

"Morning all" Kya said as she yawned.

"Is that what it is? I thought it was now afternoon." Mayuri pointed out.

"Morning, afternoon, same difference," Kya dismissed still exhausted, she added, "Someone wake Matsumoto up"

"Matsumoto!" Renji yelled in her ear. Kya grimaced at the sudden noise. Matsumoto didn't move.

"Shut up!" came Kya's whining voice, "New rule for today, no one's to yell at anything, I don't care if your dying in the worst possible way, just do it quietly."

"How do we wake Matsumoto up then?" Kira asked.

"You really have no initiative, do you?" Kya crouched down besides Matsumoto and, with everyone watching, slowly licked her cheek. Of course, this grossed quite a few people out, but it did succeed at making Matsumoto immediately sit upright, fully alert.

"What? Where am I?" she asked confused, then she noticed Kya, "Oh, thanks for waking me."

"You're welcome" And to everyone's puzzlement, Matsumoto stood up, wiped her cheek, and went and stood by Hitsugaya. Obviously this was not the first time Kya had woken her up that way. Kya then spoke again, a little more awake, "Right then, you're all probably wondering why I'm late…"

"Not really, we all know you were out drinking all night" someone spoke up. Kya ignored them.

"…Well the truth is, it was a test, and congratulations! You all passed!" Most eyes shrunk down to dots in disbelief. "Yes, most people would have left after this long of waiting, but you, the highest ranking Shingami of the Gotei 13, you managed to stay. This proves that you have the patience needed to be a true leader!" Kya was talking out of her backside, and nearly everyone saw this.

"Really, Purple-chan? Yay! Ken-chan, we passed!" Yachiru squealed, tugging at Zaraki's arm.

"Yes, you all passed! Now, next challenge…" Kya paused in a dramatic way. "…FIGHT!"

People stood there, blinking, not believing what they heard.

"Huh?" the forth squadron's lieutenant asked

"I want you to fight. It's a good chance for me to see your abilities. Now… GO!" No one moved. They were all in shock. All, that is, except Zaraki, who immediately stepped forward and drew his zanpaktou.

"Right then, who's first?" he said menacingly. Kya stopped him before he lunged at Joshiro.

"Uh, Ken-chan?" he looked up at Kya. "That was another test." His insane smile left his face. "You failed."

Several people fell over. Zaraki looked angry as he returned to his place in the line.

"Ken-chan! You failed?! Nooo!" Yachiru jumped onto Zaraki's back and started to cry, actually it was more like screaming.

"Yachiru! What did I say about yelling?!" Kya screamed back, hands on her aching head. Yachiru quietened down. "Look, just failing one test doesn't mean I'm gonna assume you're a conspiring twit. So, don't worry Yachiru."

A smile returned to her pink-framed face.

"Now, what I really want you to do is each individually come to see me in some office somewhere, so I can interview you in a civilised manner." Kya pondered at this, "Anyone got an office I could use?"

"Oooh! Taicho will let you use his, won't you Taicho?" Matsumoto exclaimed, nudging Hitsugaya.

"No! I will not let you use mi-" Kya interrupted him

"Perfect! Then it's settled, I'll call each of you some time and we can have a nice little chat in Toushiro's office." She said happily

"What?! No! And it's Captain Hitsugaya to you!" Hitsugaya complained.

"Oh, Toushiro, you kidder!" Kya said back

"I'm not kidding!"

"Well you should be," Kya said seriously, "After all, I am of higher rank than you."

There was silence at this. Did she just say she was of a higher rank than Hitsugaya? Well, that couldn't be right. Could it?

"You're," Hisagi said nervously, "of higher rank than a captain?"

"Yep," Kya answered plainly, "Now if you don't mind, I'm going to go back to my room to sleep, I mean, work on important work-type stuff! Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do, work."

Everyone still looked confused. No one dared say anything to stop Kya as she turned and walked back over to the other side of the roof, presumably to go back to bed.

"What just happened?" Hitsugaya asked after watching Kya disappear from sight. No one answered him.

He looked around to see stunned faces. Of course, Byakuya looked as calm as ever, Zaraki still looked angry from not being able to fight, and Mayuri looked plain weird.

Matsumoto had gone back to sleep on the floor.

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"Helloooo" Kya called as she opened the door in front of her

"What are you doing here?"

"Oh, don't be silly, Toushiro! You said I could use your office, remember?" Kya said cheerfully as she walked inside Hitsugaya's office and sat on one of the couches. It was the day after her meeting on the roof. She had spent the rest of the day either sleeping off her hangover, or training out on a plain somewhere outside Seireitei.

"I don't actually believe I did." Hitsugaya replied.

"Oh well, I'm here now, aren't I?" she asked walking over to him and looking nosily at the papers on his desk. He snatched them away. She pouted in complaint. Suddenly she burst out smiling again.

"Awww! I still cant believe how cute you are!" she said, again pulling at his cheek.

"Stop that!" Hitsugaya said angrily, knocking her hand away.

"You're a lot less fun than most kids." She mumbled under her breath.

"I'm not a kid!" he yelled at her, an anger mark appearing on his forehead. Saving them from starting an argument, Matsumoto suddenly burst through the door.

"Taicho! You will not believe what I just he-" she saw Kya standing there, "Kya!"

"Hiya!"

"Oh my god, Kya, you won't believe what I just heard. You know the 11th seat of squadron 3?" she was speaking at speed again, walking over to Kya.

"No" Kya answered

"Oh, well anyway he-"

"Matsumoto," Hitsugaya had cut her off. She turned to him. "Have you done that paperwork yet?"

"Um, I'm nearly finished" she told him with a fake smile on her face.

"How nearly?" Hitsugaya asked doubtfully

"Ok, I've nearly _started_, but I swear I'll get it done soon and-"

"That's what you always say…" Hitsugaya said sighing.

"Anyway Toushiro, I'm gonna need your office over the next couple of days" Kya said after a moment of silence.

"No" he said simply

"Oh, pleeeaaase!"

"No"

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**Now, I'm going to go to sleep, I have to get up in six hours after all. God, it's early, doubt I'll be able to sleep, but I must struggle through and sleep!**

**There will be more Byakuya coming up, as this is a Byakuya story, for those of you who didn't realise, it'll just be in a bit.**

**The basic background story is that Kya's gonna get the captains and lieutenants to do really ridiculous things. I need ideas though, so review or message.**

**As I said I'm going away and won't be able to update for a week or so. Till then. Byeee.**


	5. Irrelevant Questions

**So I'm back from my holiday. It was s!?t, not **_**da**_** s#£t, actual s&#t. But I knew it would be. I went a whole week without a proper toilet or shower, TV, computer, and ciggies, well I managed to have **_**one**_** halfway through the week (before loosing the almost full pack), but that was it! I was just stuck on a tiny boat with seven other people bored out of my mind.**

**Sorry bout the complaining, but it was pathetic for a holiday.**

**This one's kinda a filler and is propa short, but oh well.**

**Chapter 4 : Irrelevant questions**

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How could he have let this happen?

Hitsugaya had been pondering this question for the past hour.

He and Matsumoto were currently crammed together in an old box room that appeared to have once been a closet of some sort. There was barely enough room for the desk that he was sitting uncomfortably behind, Matsumoto sitting opposite. Both their backs were pressed firmly against the walls and it was virtually impossible for them to move. If Yoruichi had been there, there would not have been room to swing her by the tail.

Thinking about how he had come to be here still perplexed Hitsugaya. One minute he had been telling Kya that the only way she could use his office would be if the King of Norway popped by and asked them if they knew a good manicurist nearby, the next he had been packed up and moved out. It seemed like Kya was rather good at persuading people to do her bidding.

"Hmm, Taicho," Matsumoto said dreamily, ignoring the work in front of her. "I wonder what Kya's doing in your office today. The interviews don't start until tomorrow."

Smashing all his possessions with a tennis racket, that's what she was probably doing.

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In fact, Kya was not smashing all of Hitsugaya's possessions with a tennis racket. No, it was a cricket bat.

Ok, I'm lying. She wasn't using any sort of sporting equipment to smash anything up at all.

No, she was in fact sitting calmly in the huge chair behind Hitsugaya's desk. Of course, she had had to bring in the chair herself. The one being in here before hand had obviously been made for those who were, um, _vertically challenged_. Kya had her legs stretched out in front of her, her feet lying crossed on top of the desk. Her arms were placed behind her head. She sat there surveying the room. It was a decent sized room for a captain, nothing special, but it would do.

"Now then," she said to herself while uncrossing her feet and sitting upright, "time to get down to business"

She opened the top drawer to the desk and looked cautiously around the room making sure no one else could see. Like a maniac she rifled through the papers she found inside.

"So Toushiro, where'd you keep the dirt?"

Of course this was for Kya's investigation. She wouldn't look through someone's personal documents purely on a whim. Well, that's what she would tell anyone if they found out.

Basically though, the real reason of the search was, well, it was fun.

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"Taicho?"

Unohana looked up at her lieutenant who was sitting at the smaller desk in her office.

"Yes, Isane?" she asked politely, pausing her work for the conservation.

"Well, it's about Kya," Unohana raised her eyebrows inviting Isane to continue. "It's just, is what she said on the roof true? About her being of a higher rank than a captain?"

"Oh yes" she answered, turning back to the papers on her desk.

"I hope you don't mind me asking but," Isane said nervously causing Unohana to look up again. "What exactly is her rank? I didn't think there was a higher position in the Gotei 13 than a captain."

A gentle smile crossed Unohana's face.

"And you would be correct." She told Isane. She just looked confused so Unohana continued. "But whoever said Kya was part of the Gotei 13?"

"What? You mean she's like Special Forces or something?"

"Yes and no. Kya is not a member of any of the branches of Seireitei. She works alone, and prefers it that way from what I can tell. The only people she had to look up to were the members of the Central 46 Chambers, and now they are gone General Yamamoto has taken over in assigning her orders." She explained courteously.

"I've never seen her around before." It was more a question than a statement.

"Yes, she does not return to Seireitei often and usually spends her time outside in Rukongai or the real world. Even if she had returned here, I doubt anyone would know about it; she has stealth like no one has ever seen, no pun intended." Unohana finished her elucidation and returned to the paperwork in front of her. Isane saw that she would prefer not to say anymore and let the conversation end, despite the numerous questions in her mind.

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Meanwhile, similar conversations were taking place across Seireitei. Lieutenants were asking their captains, or captain asking lieutenant in Hitsugaya and Matsumoto's case, who this Kya was. Word spread from those who had captains to ask to those who didn't. Word spread from those who didn't to the lieutenants of those who did not know themselves. And word spread from those lieutenants to their captains. Soon all captains and lieutenants knew about Kya's position. Granted, they didn't know much, but they knew enough to realise that she certainly was not as dumb as she looked. Actually, from what they heard, the opposite was true. Kya had managed to remain a complete secret to almost the entire of the Shinigami population. Those few who did know of her knew nothing of her history and discerned just what Kya had told them last time she was here, and that wasn't much.

There was something else these select few knew of Kya, something that they did not tell the clueless high-ranking officers.

What Kya did last time they had seen her was something that nobody wished to inform those that did not need to know. And nobody needed to know of it, not yet.

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"_Egg salad_?!"

"Yes, egg salad" Kira said sounding a tad bit hurt at Kya's disbelieving exclamation.

"Are you seriously telling me that, out of all the possible sandwich fillings out there, _egg salad _is your favourite?!"

"Well, you're the one who asked the question." Kira was sitting opposite Kya at the desk in Hitsugaya's office. She had started the interviews this morning and had already been through the painfully uncomfortable questioning of Soifon and her lieutenant. Now was the turn of the third squadron, and seeing as Gin was no longer around, Kira had been the first to be seen. So far all Kira had been asked were questions that he, frankly, thought were plain idiocy.

"I can't believe you think that egg salad is the best sandwich filler!" she yelled at him eyes wide.

"Well I do" he slouched back upset at Kya's insulting tone. Kya smiled at making Kira sulk so quickly. It had only taken her fifteen minutes.

"Ok, moving on from your obvious lack of taste buds," Kira frowned when Kya said this, "what colour is the sky?"

"What?"

"I asked, what colour is the sky?" Kya said happily, now looking at the confused face before her.

"Um, blue?" he answered. Kya tutted as she wrote down a note on the piece of paper before her. "Ok then, if you're so smart, what colour _is_ the sky?"

"Well, that would be giving away the answer, wouldn't it?" she said as if that was obvious.

"Are all the questions this irrelevant?" Kira asked finally snapping.

"I'll have you know, none of my questions are ever irrelevant. You're just annoyed that you're always giving the wrong answers." She responded defensively.

"I wouldn't if they were sensible questions!" Kira had lost it. He was full out yelling now. Kya simply shook her head slowly and wrote something else down on the piece of paper in front of her. Kira tried to grab it, but Kya snatched it away.

"Nah uh, that's naughty. You're not allowed to look at formal investigation notes." She said as if talking to a small child.

"I've had enough of this!" he shouted before storming out the room.

Kya looked down at the notes she was holding. On it were the words 'Interviews are for gays' written over and over in small black letters.

"What's bothering him?" she asked out loud before getting up and walking to the door to call in the next interviewee.

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**That's it for today. The interviews will be next up, I promise Byakuya will appear in them. **

**Also, go read Glockenspiel's story. She's like one of my best friends in real life and her story rocks! It is hil-a-rious.**

**Now you must all review! Nah, only kidding, you only need to review if you want. Even though not having reviews makes me cry. :'(**


	6. I'm Sorry

**Okie dokie, not much to say today. Except this is like the shortest EVER chapter, but I didn't really need to include anything else. The next one will defo be longer.**

**Chapter 5 : I'm sorry**

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The interviews of Unohana, Isane, and Momo had gone just as Kya had expected.

Kya and Unohana had discussed things politely and got on just like they had the last time they had spoken. Of course Kya didn't try to wind her up like she had done Kira; Unohana wasn't someone you could do that to. Besides, Kya liked Unohana.

The talk with Isane was slightly more interesting. At first Kya had thought it would be fun to torment her, but in the end found her too sweet and polite. She reminded Kya of a younger and more naïve version of Unohana herself. Kya had talked properly to her and found out lots of things, including that she had a sister in Squadron 13 that was basically the complete opposite of her. Isane was quite surprised actually at finding Kya to be so nice, especially after hearing the protests from Kira.

Despite Momo's cuteness, Kya found her to be quite dull. She was annoyingly sweet and incredibly stupid to Kya. One problem she may have to look into though is just how devoted Momo was to Aizen. Kya thought you'd have to be a right old ding-bat to fall for that idiot.

Well that took care of squadrons 2-5, Yamamoto and Sasakibe didn't need to be interviewed, although Kya would look into them briefly. Next up was the interview she was most dreading; Captain of Squad 6. That meant Byakuya. She involuntarily gulped at the thought of having to speak to him again.

There was a knock on the door and she looked up from behind the desk.

"Yup?" she asked the door. She already knew who it was and as usual he was precisely on time.

"Kya" Byakuya greeted her as he entered the room.

"Hiya! Come, sit!" she said in an over-the-top cheery tone, trying not to show her nervousness. He looked at her oddly before closing the door behind him and walking over to the desk. He sat in the chair opposite her. "So, Byakuya, how've you been?" came her fake sing song voice.

"Fine" was his simple reply.

Kya sighed and threw the happy mask she had been wearing away.

"Ok then, I'll make this short. Are you..." she said before dramatically leaning in towards Byakuya and looking him in the eyes. "... plotting to take over the world?"

"No"

"Alrighty then! I believe you. You can go." She leaned back in her chair. Byakuya looked at her sceptically. "What? I said I believe you, isn't that enough?"

"Kya," he said in his placid voice. Kya looked into those oh so beautiful eyes.

"Yes?" She was anxious and for once it showed.

"Why are you here?" he asked. Kya thought she saw a flash of puzzlement cross his face, but ignored it.

"Well, you've certainly got dumber over the years" she rolled her eyes as if it were a stupid question. He raised his eyebrows inviting her to explain. She did so, sounding as if she was talking to a child, "Well, I have this thing that's called a mis-sion. It means I have to do something for wo-rk. You know what work is, right? Yamamoto explained this mis-sion to you, didn't he? Well, I have to stay here to com-plete it."

His face didn't change from its normal calm.

"You know that's not what I meant" he said

"Do I?" she actually didn't. Byakuya was one of the few people who she wasn't always able to understand. Byakuya sighed.

"You didn't need to return if you didn't want. You could have refused the mission." He explained what he was thinking

"Oh yeeaah, I can't do that anymore" she replied dismissively

"Why not?"

"Well, it's funny really, you'll laugh after I tell you," she said while smiling nervously, "You see, there was this little incident about thirty years back, completely not my fault, you realise." Byakuya narrowed his eyes at her doubtfully.

"What incident?" he asked. She laughed uneasily.

"Well, I may have accidentally, by means that were definitely not my fault... pushed a Shinigami over a cliff." She finished. Byakuya's face was blank. Kya added in a hurry, "But it wasn't that big a deal, I mean, they didn't _die_ or anything, but apparently I wasn't behaving in a sober enough way, so now I have to take orders seriously and do as I'm told, otherwise I'll lose my position and be back at the bottom of the pile, and that's a bit gay, isn't it?"

"So you had to return?" Byakuya now understood. The question that had been bothering him had been answered. She hadn't wanted to come here, in fact he suspected that she hated the idea, but she hated the idea of losing her rank even more.

"Hey! I thought I was supposed to be interviewing you, not the other way around!" Kya exclaimed, a big fake smile across her face. Byakuya stood up and made for the exit, it was clear Kya wasn't going to speak normally to him. He was about to open the door when Kya's voice stopped him.

"I'm sorry, ok?" he turned to face her. She looked serious now, almost upset. It had been decades since he saw her like that. It still had the same crushing effect on him. He didn't say anything but instead just turned and left the room.

Kya looked down at the desk, screaming at herself inside her head. A silent, lone tear escaped her eye and ran down her face.

"I'm so sorry"

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**See? Told you it was short. Waahh! at the shortness. Yay! at the Byakuyaness.**

**Till next time.**


	7. The Theatre Scene

**Rhea aka Glockenspiel is awesome! I just spent the day with her and helped her write the latest chapter of her story, as well as mucking around and acting like fools. Oh the joys of immaturity!**

**Yeah, I know that was random, but I felt like adding it in, and you couldn't stop me, so there!**

**I think this one's quite good, I know it's not genius or anything, but it is better than some of the previous chapters, well I think it is anyway. No Byakuya, but lots of my childish comedy and Kya retardedness! And it's a lot longer than my previous ones. Goodie!**

**Chapter 6 : The theatre scene**

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"Do you think I'm sexy?"

"Err... um... I... err..." Hisagi looked over the desk at the odd woman sitting opposite. She had her head resting in her hands, supported by her elbows on the desk. She was looking off to the side as if in deep thought and her purple hair was falling from her shoulders.

"I mean, I know I'm pretty, but am I sexy?" Kya turned her head so she was looking directly at Hisagi.

"Well... um..." he stammered while trying desperately not to notice that she was leaning forward and her low cut robes were slightly loose. She leant her head to the side curiously.

"Do you?" she asked

"I guess it depends on personal taste." He said in a slightly higher voice than normal. She leaned in further. _Don't. Look. Down. _Was all Hisagi could think as he fixed his gaze on her face.

"And what about you? Am I your personal taste?" she whispered seductively. He didn't move, but sat there staring blankly at her nose. "Cause you know, if I am, then maybe this interview could turn into something else, something a bit - more - fun."

His eyes were watering. Must not blink. Blinking would mean looking away from her nose, and where he would look to then was something he did not want to discuss. She came closer until her nose was so close to his, he was basically cross-eyed.

She bit her bottom lip devilishly, and then... she laughed.

"Oh my God!" she sat back in her chair, her eyes now watering from laughter. "I can't believe you fell for that! You really _are_ a pervert!"

Her mocking laughter rang in Hisagi's ears as his face dropped and he frowned.

"That wasn't fair." He told her. She finally quietened her laughter.

"Life isn't fair, love" she said a great big smile on her face. "As for you, I can't really blame you for being attracted to me, I doubt there are any guys in Seireitei that wouldn't be."

A sweat drop appeared on Hisagi's forehead. What was up with this women's self-confidence?

"But I congratulate you! At least you didn't jump on me or something, cause you know then I'd be forced to break your arms or something." She added. His eyes narrowed to dots.

"Break... my... arms?" he said slowly

"Yep, or something of the sort, you know? One of your legs would have probably sufficed." She waved her hand dismissively.

Hisagi's head crashed down onto the desk in front of him. He could not believe this.

"Anyway, I think that's all," she ignored his lack of movement, "so you can go."

He peered up meekly, looking as if he had just been hit by a large green coat stand. He shuffled to his feet and carefully made his way towards the door. Kya noticed that he was acting like he was half-asleep, but didn't really care.

"Bye-bye!" she called after him and he raised one hand in an attempt of a wave, before walking out.

"What a nice pervert." She said to herself quietly.

The previous five interviews had been fun. Well, four of them at least.

Renji had been the easiest person to wind up Kya had ever met by far. All she had to do was mention his eyebrows again and he went off on a rant about how distinctive eyebrows are a sign of true manliness. She kept her questions just as bizarre as the one she had asked Kira and Renji really did not appreciate this. At one point he had yelled at her 'Why are you acting like such a bitch?!' to which she had simply replied 'Well, I thought it would be better to talk to you on a level that was similar to your own'. That had set him off again. Kya thought that despite his lack of intellect, his arguing did suit him, and it was quite cute to watch him squirm.

Komamura on the other hand, was calm and collected. Granted, it was not as fun as the talk with Renji, but it was nice for Kya to actually talk to someone on a sane level. And Komamura was very much sane. He spoke with poise and it was obvious to Kya that he had suffered in the past for the way he looked. That was a shame; Kya was fond of all things foxy and seeing one tormented because of him being what he was upset her. Anyway, he had beautiful fur.

Lieutenant Iba had just been dull. He seemed like a perfectly average Shinigami. Kya thought all high ranking officers should have at least one strange personality trait, but Iba didn't seem to have any. At first she tried talking to him politely like she had done with his captain, then discovering it was boring had changed tactics to try to annoy him. That hadn't worked very well, so she just left it and decided that Iba was no more of a threat to Soul Society than pizza was a form of fruit.

Kya had thoroughly enjoyed the interview with Shunsui. He was just as eccentric as he had been last time they had met, although maybe he was slightly less perverted. Kya put that down to his lieutenant, who he had described as a beautiful, young woman who was trapped with the mind of a librarian. Kya had known Shunsui, as well as Joshiro, the longest of all the captains, except, of course, Yamamoto. They had been the first students of Yamamoto's academy to rise to the position of captain and, although Kya had never attended the academy herself, she had known them since then. They had joked together in the meeting and talked about the things that had happened since she had left.

The 'beautiful, young woman who was trapped with the mind of a librarian' was surprisingly enjoyable to talk to. Nanao was intelligent and Kya found she could discuss sensible things with her, which was a pleasant change from the usual nonsense that sprung from her mouth. When she had first walked in with a giant book under her arms Kya had silently groaned, judging that she would indeed be just a book-worm. As it turned out, her book-worm nature was pretty darn cool. She knew almost everything on literature and perhaps even more than Kya on the rules. Kya should know the rules better than anyone; she had broken nearly every one of them at least once. One she hadn't broken though was the whole 'Do not try to overthrow Seireitei and take over the world' one but that one was too much effort for something Kya didn't want anyway.

She had talked to Hisagi for about fifteen minutes before she had started acting all slut-like. He was pretty strange. Since taking over the job of running the Seireitei newspaper he had been completely obsessed with it, too much so. Despite the light tone that the interview held, Kya had found out other deeper secrets about Hisagi. For one, he was completely heart-broken when his captain had up and left. Not in a gay way, but in a 'why did you do that?' way.

Kya got up and walked to the door to Hitsugaya's office. She opened it and spoke to the low-ranking Shinigami on the other side.

"Get Toushiro now, will ya?" she asked him

"Yes ma'am!" he said before running off to the small box room where Hitsugaya had been relocated.

Wow, on to the tenth squad already, Kya thought, things like this really do go quickly. It was the third day of interviews. To be honest she probably could have got them all done in one day, but then she wouldn't have had any time to relax, would she? To Kya, relaxing meant training, sleeping, or getting drunk with Matsumoto. Ah, the simple pleasures in life.

She sat back down in the large chair behind the desk. Soon she heard a knock at the door. She knew having to knock on his own office door would be annoying the pants off of Hitsugaya. Simply to annoy him further she put her feet up on the desk.

"Enter" she said in far too formal a voice.

Hitsugaya walked in. He noticed Kya's feet on _his_ desk and narrowed his eyes.

"You may sit" she kept up the formal voice.

"So now I need your permission to sit down in my own office?" he asked her taking a seat.

"Toushiro, as I have previously informed you, this office is temporally not yours, in fact, it is currently mine" Kya smirked and Hitsugaya sat in silent fuming. "Anyway, as you know, I have called you in to discuss your current, and I might stretch the word 'current', position."

"What do you mean current?" he asked her angrily.

"Well, I am meant to be surveying your position, aren't I? Therefore, if I find you unsatisfactory, I may just have to make your position, well, not as high as it is now." She explained.

"What the hell? You haven't even started the interview and you're already threatening me?" he responded.

"Of course," she then added, "It is a very good way for me to see what you are really like as a person"

"You already know what I'm like as a person! You've been tormenting me these past few days!"

"My dear boy, you still have much to learn before you reach adulthood" an anger mark appeared on Hitsugaya's forehead. "So, shall we begin?"

"Whatever" he said calming down

"Now then," she removed her feet from his desk, sat up and shuffled through some papers, inspecting them carefully. Reading glasses suddenly appeared on her face. "what are your hobbies?"

"Err..."

"Toushiro, you must have hobbies?" she asked peering over the papers.

"Um..."

"Come now, everyone has hobbies, even you must have one?" she stared at him directly. To any unknowing onlookers this would have appeared to be more like a teacher talking to one of their students, than an interview with a captain. Hitsugaya looked thoughtful. Kya sighed and looked back down at the papers. She took off her glasses, which she in fact did not need at all to read, but she thought made an impact. "Ok then, what do you not like?"

"Summer I guess" Hitsugaya said after thinking for a minute.

"Well that's a start isn't it?" Kya said as she put down the papers on the desk. Hitsugaya looked at them. They were all blank. "And is there anything you do like?"

"I like watermelon a bit" he answered her question.

"That's just splendid! Watermelon is a fabulous fruit! Although, I myself find the taste repulsive, it is a wonderful thing in general!" His eyes changed to blank circles underneath lines.

"How can it be wonderful if you find the taste repulsive?" he asked

"Oh, Shiro-chan..." he became angry again at being called the annoying nickname, "... that is just another sign of your age! The taste of a fruit has nothing to do with its wonderfulness! You really are just the cutest little boy ever!"

"Don't call me Shiro-chan! And I'm not a little boy!" he shouted

"There's no point in denying your age, Shiro-chan! If anything, you should be proud of it! You should scream from the rooftops 'I am a little boy! I have my entire life ahead of me! And yet I still managed to reach captain position! I am better than you all!' That would surely improve your confidence, as well as your luck with the ladies." She giggled and winked at him.

"I don't want to improve my luck with the ladies!"

"Oh, I see" Kya said quietly, "don't worry Shiro-chan, your secret is safe with me"

"What secret?" Hitsugaya asked confused. Kya leaned in as if it was a great secret and when she spoke it was a whisper.

"That you are into _the theatre scene_."

"What? I am not gay!" he yelled at her, extremely pissed off at her ignorance.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Shiro-chan. Just be yourself and people will love you for it." Yeah, like everyone loves _you_ for being _yourself_. Hitsugaya thought.

"I'm not ashamed of anything! I am not gay!"

"Of course you're not." Kya said in that disbelieving tone. Hitsugaya's eyes narrowed and he sat there, steam almost coming out of his ears.

"I can't believe you're of higher rank than me" he grumbled under his breath

"Meow! Someone's got a painful break in their tail!" came Kya's sing-song voice.

"Shut up!" he bellowed

"Somehow, I don't think I will."

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**Hahaha! Give Toushiro some love! He rocks! I just found he was voted the second most popular Bleach character and was only 50 votes behind Ichigo. Awesomeness! He's is one of my fave characters, and deserves hugs from you all!**

**Ok, sad news now, I'm going back to school on Wed and won't be able to write as much. I swear I will try to get them out as quickly as I can, but please bear with me. They will probably come out at weekends, but I may update during the week if I have time. Stupid school, taking up so much bloody time!**

**Now review pleasie!**


	8. Vomit and Pink Fluffy Cushions

**Waaahhh!! I've had to dye my hair back to a 'natural' colour for school! Pink and turquoise are out, copper gold almost orange is in. :'( I hate natural colours...**

**Chapter 7 : Vomit and pink fluffy cushions**

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"You..." came Kya's drunken slur, "... are awesome."

"Not nearly as awesome as you." Matsumoto replied just as drunkenly, taking another chug from the sake bottle.

"No really," Kya shook her head wildly, "You're my best friend, you are."

She tried to hug Matsumoto but in the state she was, forgot about the desk separating them and fell face first onto it. Matsumoto giggled. Kya lifted her head slowly.

"When did this table get here?" she asked. Matsumoto fell out of her chair, spilling sake all over the white carpet, and continued giggling madly.

"I can't believe," Kya garbled as tears started to form in her eyes, "how great you are."

"Aw, thanks. But you are greater!" Matsumoto replied after halting her giggling fit and sitting up. She was also about to cry. "You... you... are the bestest lady I... I... I..." she stammered.

"Matsumoto!" Kya yelled again trying to hug her, and yet again forgetting about the desk. Instead of just hitting her head on it, this time she fell face first over it and landed on the ground next to Matsumoto.

"Why is there a desk here?" the crumpled heap on the floor asked confused. Kya sat up.

"Kya!" Matsumoto shouted embracing her chaotically. Kya lost her balance and both women fell onto the floor in a heap.

"I missed you so much!" said Matsumoto.

"I missed you too!" and they both started crying. Every now and then wails could be heard, saying things like 'I love you!' or 'You're my best mate!'

There was a knock at the door. Amid the emotional turmoil they were experiencing, neither of the women heard it. Another knock. It too went unnoticed. The door slowly opened.

"What the-?" Hitsugaya exclaimed at the sight in front of him. Matsumoto was clinging onto Kya by the waist and Kya had her arms around Matsumoto's neck. They were lying sprawled across the sake soaked carpet, sobbing.

"Shiro-chan!" Kya shouted happily, noticing Hitsugaya in the doorway, a large grin spread across her face.

"Taicho!" Matsumoto yelled just as happily.

"What's going on here? Why is there sake all over my carpet?" he asked angrily. Kya stood up and walked over to Hitsugaya, tripping many times as she did so.

"Shiro-chan! It's all Matsumoto's fault! I haven't done anything!" she cried, dropping to her knees and clinging onto Hitsugaya like a child does its parents.

"Kya! Don't lie to Taicho!" Matsumoto yelled crawling over to where they were.

"You're right, Matsumoto!" she said determinedly "I shouldn't lie to such a sweet little child!"

Hitsugaya frowned and an anger mark on his forehead showed itself. He shoved Kya away from him and she fell backwards onto Matsumoto's lap.

"You're purty" she said looking up at Matsumoto's face

"I thought this was meant to be an interview?" Hitsugaya questioned annoyed at the childishness of these women.

"Now _you're_ right!" Kya said sitting up and swaying from side to side. "So Shiro-chan, have you got any plans for the future?"

"Not me, you idiot! Matsumoto!" Hitsugaya shouted back.

"Oh, I didn't know that..." Kya said quietly looking down at the floor in puzzlement. She swayed again and then fell back so her head was on Matsumoto's knees. She looked up. All sights were obscured by Matsumoto's breasts.

"I wish I had boobs that big" she said staring almost hypnotised by them. She was about to reach up to touch one when Hitsugaya stopped her.

"Don't do that!" he yelled. Kya sat up and looked around as if she had only just realised she was there. She saw that Matsumoto had fallen asleep where she was sitting. A small amount of drool was at the corner of her lips.

"Shiro-chan, I feel weird" she said

"Maybe that's because you've drunk god knows how many bottles of sake?" he suggested. Kya swayed more.

She leaned forward dizzily.

"Shiro-chan, you are really cute." She slurred. His eyes became blank circles again. "You know, if you were taller I'd totally go out with you."

"How much _did_ you drink?" he sighed.

"Oh, not that much, only-" she stopped halfway through the sentence and turned green. She leaned further forwards.

Hitsugaya yelled.

"Not on my feet!"

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So the interview with Matsumoto was definitely the best so far, apart from the whole throwing up on Hitsugaya thing. To be honest, Kya couldn't remember most of it. She remembered everything up to the point when Matsumoto had opened the third bottle of sake, then things went blurry. The only reason why she knew she had thrown up over Hitsugaya was that he hadn't stopped reminding her. 'You were sick on me!' was one of the main arguments Hitsugaya had used to persuade her to leave his office. That and the large sake coloured stain on the otherwise pristine white carpet.

Now Kya had no where to hold the interviews. No matter how hard she tried to convince Hitsugaya that it wouldn't happen again, he wouldn't budge. He had kicked her out. Now she was homeless. Well, not quite, but you get the general idea.

She had pestered the other captains and all of them had denied the request to use their office. Even Shunsui and Joshiro refused. Kya supposed they heard what happened to Hitsugaya's.

So instead of finding an office she had decided to go for the next best thing; a tent. Right in the middle of the main courtyard at the centre of Seireitei, she had constructed a large blue tent. It wasn't quite large enough to call a marquee but it was certainly larger than the average tent.

Inside she had decorated it _her_ way. This basically meant covering the ground with a plastic sheet and throwing down a couple a cushions. Well she wasn't going to spend all that time decorating a tent that would be taken down in a day or two, was she? She'd rather spend the time having fun.

Kya was currently sitting comfortably on one of the cushions, waiting for the next interviewee to show up. This was going to be sweet.

"Hello?" came a deep voice from the other side of the tent opening.

"I can't hear you! You have to ring the bell!" Kya hollered to the person behind the cloth. She heard an angry shuffling around and then a small pinging that she recognised as the small silver bell she had hung outside the opening.

"Come in!"

Zaraki pushed the fabric aside and stepped through. His eyebrows were furrowed. Ringing a dainty bell was not something he wanted to do.

"Ken-chan!" Kya greeted him. "Sit, sit"

He did so. Kya had to admit it was funny seeing such a tall, masculine man sit on the bright pink fluffy cushion. It was the only other one in the tent. Zaraki did not seem to appreciate it.

"So what's up?" she asked him happily.

"The sky" he said, his scarred face not showing any emotion other than anger.

"Oh, you're such a kidder, Ken-chan!"

"He is isn't he?" Kya fell backwards in surprise at the new voice. Yachiru popped her head out from behind Zaraki's shoulder.

"Yachiru!" Kya squealed after she had regained her composure.

"Purple-chan!" she responded, jumping down from Zaraki's back and hopping over to Kya.

"What are you doing here?" Kya asked her as Yachiru sat down on Kya's lap.

"I want to help Ken-chan!" she said happily.

"Well..." Kya said carefully, "...it's not exactly ideal for interviews..."

Yachiru's face dropped. Kya quickly added, "But since I know you, it'll be fine! Like killing two birds with one stone!"

"Yay!" Yachiru cried her happiness returning. Zaraki snorted.

"And what is so funny, Ken-chan?" Kya asked him

"Nothing" he replied

"Good, then I'll get right down to business." She said. He nodded. "How are you?"

"That's not getting down to business." Zaraki informed her.

"Oh yes, it is!" she said defiantly. "All my questions have a distinct purpose!"

Yachiru nodded in agreement.

"Yes, Ken-chan, Kya always knows what she's doing!" she spoke

"Yes, Yachiru, I do, don't I?"

Zaraki rolled his eyes and sighed. This was going to be a long interview.

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**Yeah, not too long this time. I think I'll finish the interviews in the next one then get down to really random stuff, and BYAKUYA!!**

**Not too good at describing speech I know, but there are only so many words for said!**

**Reviews :D Rose, no reviews :( Rose**


	9. Mayuri Is Such A Tease

**See how good I am? I'm ignoring my homework and writing, and it's just for you! YAY:D **

**So if I fail my classes I'm blaming you! DOUBLE YAY:D :D**

**Chapter 8 :**** Mayuri is such a tease**

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Kya sat on the grass thinking.

She should finish the interviews today; there were only three more.

Zaraki had been just as angry as usual. She had suggested he take anger management or positive thinking classes several times, to which he had said nothing but glared at her. That is, until he got so worked up he threw the only thing in the tent he could reach at her. Much to his disappointment, this was not something hard and heavy; it was the bright pink, fluffy cushion. It had hit her square in the face, then fell to the ground with a soft 'umpf'. This was not the effect Zaraki had in mind when throwing something at someone. He wanted to see pain, or at least some reaction other than 'That's so cute Ken-chan!'

Having Yachiru there had made it even more entertaining. She had jumped around the tent and climbed up every climbable surface, while Kya sat calmly talking to Zaraki. Neither of them paid much attention to the bouncing ball of pink, until she tried to climb up one wall of the tent and only succeeded in bringing the entire thing down. This had sufficiently ended the interview.

Kya sighed.

The main gardens of Seireitei were beautiful. Granted, they were certainly not as beautiful as some of the private gardens of Soul Society, but were amazingly so compared to the public gardens Kya had seen in the real world. Flower beds were set out in neat little rows and their fruit were in full bloom. A small stream ran down one side and the sound of the running water was soothing. A Shinigami couple were sitting on a bench at the other end of the garden. Trees surrounded this area and Kya knew the paths leading off through them lead to other areas just like this one.

So much had happened over the past week. Coming back to Seireitei, seeing old friends again, meeting new people, these things just scratched the surface of what Kya was thinking about. Her thoughts were apparently random, memories that had no link to each other. However after a while her thoughts settled on one person. The look on his face when he first realised Kya was here pained her. He didn't want to see her. Who would after what she had done?

Kya got up and walked down one of the small stone paths.

"Better get back to the tent, then"

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The tent had been successfully resurrected by the time Kya had returned. She had managed to persuade some unknowing Shinigami to construct it for her. They had just been wandering around when Kya had come up to them screaming.

"Oh my god! You have to help me! I've been set this task by my captain to construct this tent, but every time I finish it just fall down again!" she yelled desperately as tears started to well up in her eyes. "And I _so_ wanted to make a good impression. I'm going to fail and he's... he's going to send me back to the academy, isn't he?"

She started sobbing quietly. It was all the five Shinigami could do to ask her where the tent was before they had rushed off to put it up for the poor, defenceless, little girl.

Kya was now lying down on the plastic sheet of the tent. Her feet were lifted off the ground by the cushion and her head was stretched backwards as she looked upside down at her guest.

"I've been doing some very interesting research while you've been away." Mayuri informed her.

"Yeeaah," Kya said cautiously, "I've heard about that. To be honest Mayuri, it doesn't sound like all of your research has been completely, well, _respectable_."

"What do you mean?" he asked confused

"Well, actually I guess the word that would be more correct is _sane_." Mayuri looked shocked at Kya's statement.

"What? I am one hundred percent sane and all my research experiments have been completely respectable!" He told her defiantly.

"Oh, don't get me wrong I have no doubt that _you're_ sane" Kya eyes were wide with the lie; Mayuri didn't seem to notice though, "but your experiments on the other hand..."

"There is nothing wrong with my experiments!"

"Riiiight..." Kya said disbelievingly.

"There isn't!" Mayuri tried to convince her

"Ok then, Mayuri, how many people in the last twenty years have accidently died by consequences of your experiments?" she asked. Mayuri's eyes narrowed. Kya took that as an answer for 'a lot'. She added matter-of-factly, "To be honest, you are the most suspicious captain out of them all, if anyone would be planning to overthrow Seireitei, many people would bet it was you."

"Many people including you?" he asked, his eyes still narrow

"Oh look a giant lady bug!" she suddenly yelled pointing to the side of the tent. Mayuri looked. There was nothing. "Oh, you missed it."

"You're interesting" he told her plainly

"Oh Mayuri! Don't say such things to a woman!" she blurt out in a higher voice than usual.

"Huh?"

"You are such a tease!" she said in the same voice, covering her mouth with her hand as she giggled.

"Have you taken anything?"

"Oh Mayuri! That's so sweet!"

"No, seriously."

Kya only laughed nervously.

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"Well... your face!" Kya yelled at Nemu. She had just asked whether Kya had psychological issues. Naturally, Nemu had not meant this as an insult, but rather as a serious question. She really did want to know if there was a medical reason why Kya acted the way she did. Kya had taken it the wrong way.

"My face what?" Nemu asked confused.

Kya sweat dropped, realising Nemu really did not have much experience with social meetings like this. If you could call an interview that could decide whether Nemu was executed or not social was not for Kya to decide. Could you even execute Nemu? Kya was sure Mayuri had given her some sort of super powers that made her immortal or something.

"Never mind" Kya said hurriedly

"Oh" Nemu responded

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"I must congratulate you once again Kya! This is delicious!"

"Oh, it was nothing!" Kya told Joshiro as he gracefully ate some of the food that Kya had laid out in the tent, knowing full well how much Joshiro liked to eat. This was the last of the interviews, seeing as Joshiro did not have a lieutenant, and Kya was glad she wouldn't have to host any more of them. It really exhausted her annoying all those people.

"You are still too modest, and you remembered my favourite! You truly are amazing!" Joshiro said helping himself to a small bowl of Chazuke topped with pickled plums.

"Well, yes I am," Kya dismissed, "but actually this _was_ nothing. You see, I didn't cook any of this! I just got a tad bit of _help_."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Joshiro lied, knowing full well that this meant Kya had got some poor sucker to make it for her, probably under the illusion she needed food for her dying family or something.

"Of course you don't. But moving on from my superb culinary skills, how have you been?" she asked

"Not bad, not bad" Joshiro waved a hand frivolously.

"Good, I hope the tuberculosis isn't getting to you too much?" Tuberculosis had plagued Joshiro for longer than many Shinigami had been alive. It was shortly after it sufficed when his hair had turned white. Kya was always not completely happy around Joshiro, for somewhere in the back of her mind she knew he was suffering.

"Oh, it's not too bad at the moment" Joshiro replied. Kya smiled at him.

"I am thoroughly glad to hear that" she said. Kya had this amazing power; the power of being polite when she wanted to. She could flick easily between insulting someone and mocking the pants off of them to speaking as if they were the queen of England in less than a second.

"Now what have you been doing these last years?" she asked curiously.

"Just the same. Apart from having Aizen run off, things have been totally normal." He informed her

"You mean totally _boring_" he laughed slightly then coughed. Kya was getting up to come see if he was alright when he waved her away and halted coughing.

"I'm fine." He reassured her, "so what have _you_ been doing?"

"Now, Joshiro, you know I shouldn't tell you that." Kya's missions wee secret, she was not permitted to tell anyone the details of them.

"Right, right, I'm sorry" he apologised

"But seeing as I trust you and know you won't tell anybody..."

And so she started telling Joshiro her tale, like it was the best gossip she had heard all year. Of course, she had had to remove some, ok, most, aspects of the story. He still did not know everything about her, he shouldn't start now. Anyway, some parts she suspected Joshiro would not entirely approve of.

Every so often Joshiro would comment, most of those comments telling her that she had been rude or underhand.

"Kya, that was not very nice."

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**Well, that's all for now. I know that one wasn't magnificent. But I've kinda been rushing since I wanted to finish it tonight and I've still got homework and I need to eat.**

**Reviews are the most fun you can have while clothed. ;)**


	10. Spring

**Ahhh! I got all A+ in my GCSE science modules! It's only a third of the grade though, my coursework is gonna bring me right down.**

**Being back at school is so bad, I've been back for three days and I've already got homework for almost every lesson. And I have to complete my art at the weekend which is gonna take forever.**

**This one's only got a bit of comedy in, then I go all serious. hehe. Me serious is something hardly seen.**

**Chapter 9 : Spring**

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Another meeting had been called with all the captains and lieutenants. Since Kya had completed the interviews and had come to no conclusion at all about any particular Shinigami, except that they were either boring, too tightly strung, or awesome, she needed to speak to them all again.

This time, however, she was not hungover, and she had not placed it at the most inconvenient spot in the entire of Seireitei. She had instead asked all the high-ranking officers to gather in the hall of the 7th division. Why 7th division? It was just the first number that came to Kya's head. Actually no, the first number that came to Kya's head was 573.86, but since that wasn't a division, she had chosen another.

Komamura was not very happy about being invaded by the entire captain and leiutenant party, but was far too politie to mention it to Kya. She had shown him respect throughout the interview, and hadn't made a snap about him being an overgrown fox at all. That was something he liked very much.

Most of the officers had already arrived, Byakuya, Zaraki and Yachiru had yet to be seen. They were five minutes late, Kya made a mental note of this.

Naturally, the others didn't know she had made a mental note. Actually the others did not even know Kya was there. She was hiding in a small cupboard on one side of the room, peering out of the key hole. Why? Because she wanted to hear what they talked about when she wasn't there. As well as that she was planning to make them wait an hour before jumping out yelling 'Only joking! I am here!' The looks on their faces would be priceless. Then again, did she really have the patience to wait an hour?

Zaraki walked through the door, Yachiru on his shoulder. So only Byakuya was left. Why was he always the last to arrive? Surely he should have been the first with his speed and law-abiding nature? Kya never did get that. Even before he met Hisana he always use to try to go by the rules. Kya guessed that was what happened if you were brought up in a super rich family like the Kuchiki. Still, he should learn to relax more.

Speak of the devil... Kya thought as the tall man entered the room. He looked around, noticing Kya's absence. Why was she always late? His eyes hesitated when they crossed over the cupboard Kya was hiding in. Shit, did he know Kya was there? No, that was impossible.

He walked over and stood off to the side of the main group of people.

Kya watched the crowd for a few minutes, listening to what they were saying. It was dull, they weren't spilling any gossip or anything, just politely making conversation. It only took five minutes for Kya to give up on her plan. She lept out of the cupboard.

"Oh, hey" she said sounding confused to the group who had all immediately turned to her, "uh, how did I get in that cupboard?" she asked

"You were hiding in it" Byakuya informed her blankly.

"Oh yes, thank you Byakuya, I was indeed hiding in it," she told everybody before adding, "But it was for my research, I was listening to see if any of you gave any hint of being conspiring jacks" she paused and raised one eyebrow, "You're all really dull"

Everyone's eyes narrowed to the size of dots. Well, everyone except Byakuya, Matsumoto and Yachiru, who had grown used to comments like this coming from Kya.

"Right so, everyone in a circle then" She said. People just continued to stare. She clapped her hands, waking them up from their daze. "Come on, circle, circle" she drew little circles in the air with a finger as she said this. People did as they were told and a large ring of confused faces appeared in the room. Kya stood in the middle.

"Good, now after my _intensive_ interview process." Mayuri stifled a laugh, Kya glared at him, "yes Mayuri? Is there something you would like to share with the rest of us?"

Mayuri shook his head. When did she start acting like a teacher?

"Alright, now if I can continue without interuptions," she looked at Mayuri again, he didn't move, "After my interview process, I would like to say that I found many of them satisfactory, and many of them tedious. Some of you are the most boring Shinigami out there. Then again, some of you were, uh, fun."

She peered over at Hisagi, a twinkling in her eyes. He looked down at the ground, turning slightly red, far too embarrassed about the whole thing.

"Anyway" Kya continued ignoring eveyone's confused expressions, "Because of that I've decided to set a few tasks, to see who is really Captain or Lieutenant potential. Also, it will give me time to observe your characters further."

People's excitement grew.

"Oooh, what kind of tasks Purple-chan?" Yachiru asked.

"You'll all just have to wait and see, wont you? I won't be setting them quite yet, so I'll contact you when I'm ready." she answered. Renji, Matsumoto and Yachiru started asking her questions. She paid them no attention. "So, that's all for now, I'll see you all soon"

And made her way out of the circle and left. As soon as she exited the room voices spoke up, curious at what posible tasks Kya could set them.

One thing was for sure, they would not be normal.

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Byakuya stood silent in the garden of the Kukichi residence. It had been two days since Kya's meeting and she hadn't contacted anyone about the tasks yet. She was certainly taking her time.

The sun shone above Byakuya's head, making the green leaves of the trees turn golden in the light. Today was the day he hated, the day all the memories returned.

What was he doing? Surely he should have gotten over it by now.

He sighed.

Then he felt it. It was just a twinge, but it was a familiar twinge none the less.

"You don't have to just stand there, you know?" he spoke still looking out over the garden. He heard soft footsteps on the wooden veranda from behind him.

"I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have come." the gentle voice spoke, now beside him on the gravel path.

"You got past security just as easily as always" he stated. He glanced briefly at the visitor. An odd expression was on her face, one that resembled a mixture of sorrow and sympathy.

"Yeah" Kya replied

"Why are you here?" he asked, his gaze returning to the green in front of him.

"I just..." her voice was soft, reminding him of times long since past. "I just... wanted to see if you were ok."

He raised an eyebrow.

"I know today must be hard for you." she explained, "I wanted to come and make sure you weren't killing yourself or anything. Then I realised how inappropriate it was for me to be the one to comfort you on a day like today, so I decided not to come. But I couldn't not do anything. So I came. I just wanted to see you and then leave. I didn't expect to talk to you or anything, I knew you wouldn't want to."

He sighed again.

A silence came over the two Shinigami. Neither of them looked at each other. They just peered out over the grass before them. The only sounds that could be heard were those of the birds in the trees or the gentle blowing of the wind through the branches. They stood there like that for five minutes, neither wanting to disturb the peace.

"You really loved her, didn't you?" Kya asked breaking the silence.

"Of course" he replied. To anyone who had didn't know him, it would sound like the rest of his statements, but Kya saw it for what it was; filled with heartbreak.

"I... I'm glad you met her" she said in almost a whisper. Byakuya turned to face her, a puzzled expression on his face. She was still turned out towards the garden, but was now looking down at the ground.

"Really?" he asked, for once showing his confusion.

"Yes," she answered before adding, "she made you happy, didn't she?"

"Yes, for the short time we had together, she made me happy"

"How many years has it been?" Kya whispered

"Fifty two" Byakuya said sadly, "It's been exactly fifty two years since Hisana's death"

Another silence took hold of the area. Byakuya was still looking at Kya. Kya was still looking at the ground. After another five minutes Kya couldn't stand it anymore and looked up at the garden.

"Spring" she sighed, no longer whispering. "Always spring."

Byakuya's eyes widened at the comment. He hadn't heard those words for so many years.

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_"You know it's winter in the real world?" Kya asked him._

_They were sitting on the grass in Rukongai. It was a field they came to often, just to talk. A lone sakura tree sat in the center of the field, soft pink petals falling to the ground._

_"Yeah" he answered her question_

_"And yet it's still spring here." she told him, leaning back and looking up at the sky. "It's always spring here. Sure, we say winter and summer, but there's only ever the slightest change in the weather. The cherry blossoms are always in bloom and the grass is always green. I don't think I can remember the last time it rained."_

_Byakuya thought about this. It was true, the seasons only brought about the slightest change in temperature, the skies were always blue._

_"I guess you're right" he told her._

_"It's annoying really" she continued "Winter in the real world is beautiful. The snow glistening in the dark is something all people should see at least once in their life."_

_"I've only ever seen snow twice" he said. She glanced at him._

_"That's my point"_

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"What?" he asked Kya surprised at her statement.

"Why is it always spring?" she asked in return. She sighed.

"I dont know" Byakuya answered.

They stood there for another fifteen minutes, each not saying a word, but instead looking out onto the spring that shone in the garden.

_It's always spring here._

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**Yay for Byakuya!**

**Ok my friends, now I'm actually not sure on the whole always being spring thing, but whenever they are in Soul Society it's sunny and green, so I'm saying it is. If it isn't, well, too bad.**

**I'm not feeling well. I just spent three hours sleeping and now I'm a bit better. I cant be ill tommorow, I have things to do.**

**Reviews make me smile and everyone likes my smile (not), so go on, do it. :)**


	11. The First Task

**I'm still not feeling a hundred percent, but that means I can write more, so YAY!**

**I'm starting the tasks now, they're gonna be random. I need ideas for more, I've only got about five short ones and two long ones, so review or message me with more.**

**Chapter 10 : The first task**

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Mayuri entered the hall of the 12th division and brought his footsteps to a standstill.

"What in God's name-" he said under his breath.

The room that he knew so well, which had previously contained nothing but a giant screen at one end, was now completely changed. Two long tables were running down the room, each covered with sheets concealing some odd shaped objects underneath.

"Nemu!" he shouted over his shoulder. After a while of standing completely still his faithful Nemu arrived.

"What is it Taicho?" she asked as she too entered the hall and stopped in her tracks.

"Who did this?" Mayuri almost shouted at Nemu.

"I don't know" she answered quietly still in shock at the hall's new appearance. This was not what Mayuri wanted to hear and he quickly threw her into the wall next to them.

"What do you mean you don't know?" now he was shouting. "I thought you were supposed to know everything that happened in our headquarters?"

"Forgive me Taicho, but I honestly do not know." She said groggily, getting up from the floor where she had slumped. Mayuri was about to hit her again when a grip around his wrist stopped him.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Mayuri forced his arm out of the visitor's grasp and spun around at the familiar voice. Kya was looking at him, her eyes narrowed threateningly.

"Don't tell me how to treat members of my own division" he said just as threateningly.

"I wouldn't dream of doing such a thing." She responded, her voice still full of venom. "but I will tell you that the way you do treat members of your division may have a serious impact on my overall judgement of you."

Mayuri let out an angry breath but forced himself to calm down. Getting kicked out of the Gotei 13 was not something he particularly wanted.

"Good" Kya said satisfied with his actions. She turned her gaze to Nemu. "Are you all right Nemu?"

"Uh, yes, I'm fine" she answered. Kya could tell she was puzzled that someone had come to her rescue, as if no one had ever done so in her existence. Something clicked in Mayuri's head.

"It was you, wasn't it? You were the one who changed _my_ hall!"

"Oh dear, angry again are we, Mayuri?" she asked while rolling her eyes. "Yes it was me, I needed somewhere to set up the first task, to be honest, if I knew you would be this upset I may have done it somewhere else, but oh well, what's done is done."

"The first task?" Mayuri lifted one eyebrow, intrigued at what it could be.

"Yep" Kya was back to her happy self again, "and I wouldn't try and have a peak under those sheets if I were you."

"Why?" he asked nervous of the answer

"Umm... let's just say, you might get a _shock_." She had a finger on her chin and she was looking off at nothing in particular as if she was contemplating the meaning of life.

"What kind of shock?" he was even more nervous now, though he doubted any shock Kya had set up would be enough to hurt him.

"The deadly kind of shock," she said before adding, "even for you."

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Later that day all the captains and lieutenants had assembled in the hall of division 13. They stood behind the tables at their designated spots indicated by small name cards stuck to the side of the tables. Lieutenants were along one table and captains were along the other, placed in order of their division number. Everyone was silent, too busy contemplating the task ahead of them. All desperately wanted to know what it was, but none had dared to look under the sheet. This was for two reasons; one, they knew it would immediately incriminate them if they appeared to want to know too badly, and two, they were terrified of what would happen to them if they did. This second reason was the main one, for Kya had posted large, bold posters around the room warning them of consequences.

_IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE DO NOT LOOK UNDER THE SHEETS._

_NO, REALLY, DON'T._

_YOU WOULDN'T IF YOU KNEW WHAT I SET UP_

_...I KNOW I WOULDN'T._

If that wasn't enough to scare someone into not looking, then surely nothing would.

Everyone stood not saying a word, even Yachiru. Soon the door slid open and there stood a grinning Kya.

"What ho, everybody!" she said excitedly. No one responded. She walked into the room, closing the door behind her, and made her way to the centre between the two tables. "Right, you all know why I called you here, to do the _first task_." The last two words were said in a fake spooky voice as she waved her fingers in front of her, demonstrating the nervousness that people felt. "It's a simple task really; you should all be able to complete it easily."

She went over to the lieutenants' table and quickly pulled the sheet off before doing the same with the captains'. People looked down and gasped. No one was expecting to see what was neatly placed on the tables in front of them.

"Wait" Lieutenant Iba spoke up, "I thought we weren't able to touch the sheet? How come you just lifted it up?"

"Oh, the simplicity of a deterrent..." Kya answered dreamily. At everyone's confused faces she explained more clearly, "I lied."

Dark lines appeared on the faces of most people where their eyes should have been. Byakuya stood calmly. Yachiru gazed at Kya admiringly. An anger mark appeared on Renji's forehead.

"Why you..." he muttered irritably. He suddenly appeared in front of Kya and started taking wild swipes at her with his tattooed arms. Kya yawned as she managed to fend him off just by placing a hand to his head. His arms rotated in circles and Kya just stood looking at her nails. After a couple of minutes, Renji's arms had run out of juice and he exhaustedly stepped back.

"Renji, you need some anger management" she told him. He was about to go off on another attack when Kya stopped him. "Look, just get back in your place will you?"

He grumbled something about an 'insolent female dog' and grudgingly went back to where he had been previously standing behind the table.

"Now, can we pa-lease get back to the task?" she asked the room in general.

"What... is... this?" Hitsugaya asked still staring at the objects on the table.

"Oh, I'm glad you asked, Shiro-chan!" His face dropped at the nickname. "This is your first task!"

Mayuri picked up the neon green cloth that had been on the desk, and held it outstretched in front of him as if it was acidic. Placed along the length of both tables were many different coloured and patterned fabrics, along with scissors, thread, needles, and the occasional sewing machine.

"And what exactly are we meant to do with it?" he asked her.

Kya sighed like she was annoyed.

"Honestly, I thought that was obvious." She rolled her eyes. "You're meant to make an outfit!"

People's eyes narrowed to dots again.

"But not just any outfit! Oh, no. It's an outfit for me!" Kya said happily, raising her arms in the air and twirling around on the spot. "I've provided manikins in that cupboard that have been adjusted to my measurements. You have two days to complete the outfit; the deadline is noon the day after tomorrow. The best one wins and I'll wear it for an entire day! Imagine, one of your designs being worn by the most stylish Shinigami in the whole of Soul Society! It should be an honour. And no cheating, I'll know if it's your own design."

"What? How's that meant to test our loyalty to Seireitei?" Zaraki asked furiously. Obviously, he was not happy with the bright pink, sparkly material Kya had given him.

"Well, it'll show me your creativity and that you're concentrating on the task; if it's rubbish then I'll know you were too busy plotting or whatever. There are other reasons, but they're far too complicated to go into at the moment." Kya answered clearly, basically dismissing the question. "Anyway, there's a list of rules for each of you in the cupboard next to the manikins, I seriously suggest you read it. That's all for now."

She walked to the door and was about to leave when she looked over her shoulders at the shocked expressions of the officers.

"And remember..." she said warningly, "I'm watching yoouuu!"

"What... the... hell?" Kira whispered looking at the doorway where Kya had been standing a second ago.

Yachiru ran over to the massive cupboard in the corner.

"Ken-chan! Let's read the rules!"

No one moved.

Kya had left them with a task that, to many, seemed impossible. How were they going to pull this off?

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**What are they going to do? Whose outfit will be the best? Well, you'll have to wait and see won't you? **

**Unless you're reading this after I've got the next one out, then you don't really need to wait.**

**To be honest, when I started this chapter I had no idea what I was gonna write about. But I think it turned out pretty well, don't you?**

**REVIEWIES:D**


	12. A Pigeon Stuck To A Body

**I'm still ill in bed. I went to school in the morning but had to come home coz I was feeling so bad. I did all my homework yesterday and now I've got nothing I can do. Except write, of course. But don't be happy I'm ill! That's just mean :'(**

**This chapter really aint brilliant, and it doesn't contain anything that important to the story, but oh well.**

**Chapter 11 : A pigeon stuck to a body**

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Zaraki looked down at the small piece of paper in front of him. The rules Kya had written out were laid out in black and white on it. He read them yet again, not quite believing the task she had set.

_TASK ONE : DESIGN AN OUTFIT FOR KYA_

_RULES_

_1) The design for the outfit must be completely your own, if anyone gets someone else to design it, they will be disqualified and the necessary measures will be taken_

_2) The outfit must be complete by noon on November 23__rd_

_3) The outfits will be judged by Kya and the winning design will be worn for an entire day, so try and make it a tiny bit practical_

_4) There are the right amount of manikins for each designer, however sewing machines must be shared one between two_

_5) Only material and accessories provided may be used_

_6) Any of the material provided can be used by any designer, so be nice and share, or don't and fight, whatever floats your boat_

_7) Any item of clothing can be made (dress, skirt, or pants etc.)_

_8) Help may be provided by other designers voluntarily. No help may be given from people who are not completing the task_

_9) Remember who you are designing for and their personal style_

_10) Relax and have fun with it! Fashion is about fun after all!_

Kya really must be having a laugh. No way could she expect this group of misfits to complete a sensible outfit in two days. At least rule six meant he didn't have to use the pink sparkly material in front of him, and he was sure Kya had put in the bit about fighting over material for him. But having fun? Yeah right; who could have fun making clothes?

Zaraki looked up around the room. Yachiru was scribbling on a piece of paper beside him, having moved from her designated space, and was drawing pictures of dresses he thought were far too advanced for her to make. Many others were also concentrating over papers, sketching away designs. Renji appeared to be having some difficulty and every few seconds would scrunch up the paper and throw it onto the pile that was already knee high behind him. Mayuri looked completely at a loss, his head was in his hands and an anger mark was permanently plastered to his forehead. Matsumoto appeared to be the only one making any progress at all. She had already settled on a design and was currently draping material over a manikin. Lucky bitch.

Zaraki turned his attention back to his child-like drawings. How the hell was he meant to do this?

Kya better have a good reason for setting such a difficult task.

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"Clothes! Clothes! Clothes!" Kya sang to herself as she walked up the path towards the 1st division headquarters. "Nicey, nicey clothes! Clothes!"

She was feeling particularly proud of herself for coming up with this task. Not only did it allow her to observe the captains and lieutenants, but it gave her twenty new outfits! She had taken into consideration that about three quarters of them would be complete rubbish, but that still left five good ones. That was enough for Kya.

As she continued her journey she kept on singing her original song about the wonders of clothes, granted there were only two different words in it, but it managed to express her feelings on the subject quite well. Soon she reached the 1st division headquarters and entered the room she had been assigned by Yamamoto. There was a new object placed in the far corner. It was about the height of a guitar and looked surprisingly like a television set.

She pressed her thumb to the screen. It flickered for a moment before the black and white image of the division 12 hall came into focus. Kya did warn them she would be watching, just not how, so to her it was definitely not an invasion of privacy. She sat down on the comfy bean bag in front of it. Suddenly a bowl of popcorn appeared in her hands and she started munching away, watching what everyone was doing.

"Ahh, Matsumoto, why don't I just give you the prize now?" she said to herself, marvelling at how in the space of fifteen minutes Matsumoto had already started draping fabrics.

"Then again," she continued "I'm not sure if you'll be able to keep it up. It does involve actual work after all."

She paused and her eyebrows furrowed as she noticed something else.

"Renji, what are you doing?" she asked. She placed the tip of her index finger to the screen where Renji was and it zoomed in, giving a clearer picture of what he was drawing. "What is that? A giant pigeon stuck to a body?"

She tapped her pinky finger against the screen twice and it zoomed out again. After a minute she saw Nemu standing up. She walked around the table and inspected each of the materials closely. Things went into slow motion in Kya's mind as she slowly outstretched a hand and reached for one of them.

It was dark green and had a large flowery pattern that looked like an old lady's carpet.

"Nooooo!" Kya yelled at the screen, "Doon't doo iit Neemmuuu!"

Nemu stopped her arm. Kya let out a sigh of relief as Nemu retracted her hand and left the ghastly material where it was.

"Phew." She said, things now in real time again, "That was a close one."

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_Hmm... what would Kya like?_ Nemu thought to herself as she examined the fabrics that had been laid out on the tables. _How about that one?_

She was about to pick up the nicely patterned material when she stopped.

_Actually, I think Kya would prefer something more joyful. _

_Although, I do like this one. _

_No, it's not quite Kya._

She left the green cotton where it was and turned back to find something in a brighter colour.

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Hitsugaya sat biting the tip of his pencil. He was having a bit of difficulty coming up with something Kya would wear. In his eyes, this task was stupid. He could have been getting on with some useful work but instead was stuck here trying to design some god forbidden outfit.

Kya? Kya, Kya, Kya. What was Kya's style again? Her Shinigami robes were certainly different from normal ones. Instead of being long they were cut off at the top of her legs creating shorts. She wore some type of wide purple sash around the waist which went up under the breasts and two thin belts loosely hung on the hips under a small silver tie. Black ribbon was criss-crossed over her sleeves from the wrist to the elbow and also around her legs up to the mid-thigh. These ended in pretty little bows. She wore light grey boots without any heel that went halfway up her calf muscles and a small silver necklace with some pendant on.

Ok, so Hitsugaya knew that she didn't like wearing things that everyone else was also wearing. At least that was something. But still, actually designing something for her was far too difficult.

He looked up at the clock. It said 2:15. Damn, he had wasted two hours already just trying to think of something. Half of the 'designers', as Kya had labelled them, had already started picking fabrics or stretching them over the manikins. Even Zaraki had picked up a dark blue material and brought it back to his place.

Why didn't he pay more attention when Matsumoto had been going on at him about shopping or whatever? She was probably lapping this task up. He was sure that she knew everything about every possible item of clothing. Then again, did she know how to make it? Hitsugaya sighed. Of course she did, she just had to, didn't she? Stupid fashion conscious women and their clothes. It wasn't his fault he was a guy!

He only had forty five hours and forty five minutes to complete the entire outfit now, including sewing. He was really not looking forward to that; the only things he had ever sewn in his life were a few buttons on something. Damn you Kya, why did you have to make them sew?

Hitsugaya looked down at the pencil he had been using. The top had been completely obliterated by so much nervous chewing.

_Yuck_, he thought as he threw it away and picked up a new one.

He was going to have to come up with something, fast.

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**Yeah, see. Told you it weren't that good.**

**Also I've added some stuff to the background story info about what's going to happen. Basically it says that at some point they'll be going to the real world, but that won't be for a while, and also that it'll take some time for the Byakuya loving to happen. I'm not sure if that was everything, you might as well check to make sure.**

**Cheer up an invalid – review!**


	13. Don't Melt It!

**Waaahh :'( I'm still ill. I should be better tomorrow me thinks and then I'll go back and see my Rhea! Or m'lady as she is now known. Anyway, random I know.**

**This ones pure comic value.**

**Chapter 12 : Don't melt it!**

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Things were getting serious now. People were starting to concentrate fully and get on with their work, knowing that they only had twenty-four hours left to complete the task they had been given. At some point last night Matsumoto had come out of the cupboard where the manikins had been kept with a large paper screen. She had set it up around her work space, and now none of the other officers could see what she was doing. Yachiru had spotted it and been a tinsy bit jealous.

"Ken-chan! I want a screen! Why can't I have a screen?"

Purely to shut up his Lieutenant, Zaraki had ventured into the cupboard of nightmares and found that there were in fact many more screens identical to Matsumoto's. He pulled one out for Yachiru, which calmed her down for a bit, before getting one out for himself. Paranoia quickly spread around the room and soon everyone had a divider up, concealing what they were making. Byakuya hadn't been bothered, and at first he didn't have a partition, but shortly after everyone else had gotten one, Yachiru came bouncing up to him.

"Bya-chan! Why don't you have a screen?" she had asked him over-happily.

"I do not need one" he had simply answered

"Oh yes you do! Everyone needs one! I'll go get one for you!" and before Byakuya could stop her, the little menace had returned to him dragging a screen behind her. She put it up for him. "See? Isn't that better?"

And she ran off again to where her little area now was, leaving Byakuya standing where he had been when she had first come up to him.

Renji had been struggling with a sewing machine for about five hours now. He had yet to sew anything. He hit the white box for the forth time in ten minutes. He climbed up onto the table and with all his strength tried to tug the material through. It had got stuck on the needle again.

"Goddamn sewing machine! Work, damn you, work!" he yelled still tugging away. The fabric ripped. Renji went flying across the room and into the wall.

"Wow, hello pretty birdies" he muttered airily before passing out.

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Kya laughed at the sight of Renji zooming into a wall.

She was sitting in front of the odd television set in her room. She had been coming back to it every hour or so to make sure no one was killing themselves with fabric scissors and staining the perfectly good material with blood. She would watch for thirty minutes, then get bored and go off to do her own thing, then after a while she would come back.

To be honest, she was glad they were using the screens she had provided. Of course, she wanted to see all the really funny bits like Renji knocking himself out or Hitsugaya yelling at a manikin. But she didn't really want to see the designs until they were finished, then it would be a surprise. Also, she didn't think she could stand any more of Nemu picking fabrics; it was just to damaging for someone like Kya to watch. It wasn't as if she couldn't see anything. She could make out who was in which section of the now divided room, as well as the main area in the middle where no one was set up but they all had to go to use the machines. She could hear everything as well. She just couldn't see the outfit they would finish up with.

Kya looked at the clock. It was half-way through. She should go see them.

She jumped up off of the bean bag and exited the room.

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"'Ello, my babies" Kya said in a French accent as she walked into the 12th division hall. "I am glad to zee you all working zo 'ard."

People sighed.

"You..." came the low growl of the youngest captain. Hitsugaya jumped up over the screen and ran furiously towards Kya.

"Why did you make it sewing?" he roared through gritted teeth as he drew Hyourinmaru. It changed into its shikai form and was about to strike Kya.

She held up a lighter in front of her. A small flame came to life under Hyourinmaru.

Hitsugaya stopped. A few drops of water dripped down from where Kya held the flame.

He blinked and then reared backwards.

"Why the hell did you do that?" he shouted, desperately trying to cool his zanpaktou down by fanning it wildly.

"Self defence" she replied dismissively putting the lighter back in her pocket.

"You didn't have to melt it!" he cried at her.

"Probably not, but oh well." She said walking straight past him. "Anyway, I came to see how you were all doing!" she clapped her hands together excitedly.

People didn't move. They were too scared that if they did she might try to smelt their own zanpaktou. Yachiru was the first to speak.

"Purple-chan!" she ran and jumped up onto Kya's shoulder. "This task is so cool! It's really fun! Ken-chan is having some problems so that's bad, but I'm not! My outfit is going to be perfect and it will win and I'll be able to stay here and become Purple-chan's best friend and-"

Zaraki cut her off by shoving a lolly pop into her mouth. She sucked on it blissfully.

"Ok, happy that this task is so appreciated by everyone!" Kya said happily ignoring the death glares several people were giving her.

"Now, if you don't mind I'll-" she paused and looked around as if just noticing something. "Where's Matsumoto?"

People shrugged in response.

Kya heard it; the soft grumbling noises coming from a section near the back of the room. Kya crept up towards it, hushing the others behind her, and stood on the table next to it. She peered over the top of the screen. Sure enough, there was Matsumoto. Her head was in her arms on the table and snore marks were escaping from her lips. She was asleep.

"Awww, she sleeping" she said in a voice that sounded as if she was looking at a new-born kitten taking its first steps.

"What? Well, wake her up then!" Hitsugaya said angrily as he marched over to where Kya was.

"Nooo" Kya squealed sounding insulted, "Just look how cute she is!"

Hitsugaya stood on the table and looked. The sight that met him was not cute. Matsumoto was drooling and her breasts were practically hanging out of her robes. Every few breaths she would snort.

"I'm waking her up!" he said determinedly

Kya grabbed hold of his collar, lifting up off the table, and looked threateningly into his eyes.

"You do that and these guys will have a tough time finding the remains." She whispered to him. Hitsugaya nodded terrified. She dropped him down again.

"Alright then!" she said back in her cheerful voice as she turned to face the others, "I see you're all doing fine! I'll come back again later!"

People were stunned at her change in mood as she almost skipped out of the room waving merrily to them as she left.

Mayuri blinked.

"That was... interesting"

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Judgement day had finally come for the twenty captains and lieutenants. Only a few more hours and their time would be up, they would have to reveal to Kya their outfit.

None of them had slept much last night. They were far too busy trying to add bits and pieces to their garments. On the first night they had all left the hall by one am, and no one had returned until eight. Last night however, only half the officers actually left the room at all. The others got a few minutes sleep every now and then on their tables, but really not enough to keep them awake today. The ones that did leave only left for a couple of hours, returning saying that they were too nervous to sleep or had too many ideas go off in their minds. Matsumoto was the only one that got a decent night sleep. Because of Kya's little threat to Hitsugaya no one had dared wake her up, and she had slept through the entire night peacefully. Hitsugaya just hoped her outfit had been completed before she went to sleep.

Mayuri looked down at his material. He was surprisingly good at the sewing lark. It wasn't bothering at all, even though he had never picked up a needle in his life. That was probably something to do with his _differences_ to other Shinigami. He suspected that one of the alterations he had made may have inadvertently made him into a good sewer. Thank the lord for self-improving dangerous experiments.

He would be done soon and then it would be time.

Time to show the world.

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**Ooooh... what will they all look like? Only I know the truth.**

**The next one will be the judging and then I'll move onto a new task and a bit of Byakuya luva luva.**

**I've got loads of random scenes in my head about what's going to happen; now I just need to string them together.**

****

Oh yeah, I reread the last chapter and realised how confusing my description of Kya's clothes were, so I drew a quick sketch of how I imagine her. There aint no face as I cant draw faces and you'll just have to imagine the colour, coz I couldn't be bothered. Here's the photobucket address ( just add _i149_ infront of the normal photobucket adress then add this):

_/albums/s61/rdliz/kyabold0001.jpg_

**Review?**


	14. It's Tricky

**Wha?! Two in one day! Now you can see how bored I am stuck up in bed.**

**Sorry, unlike what I previously told you, this is not the end of the first task, it's the beginning of the end. No really! It is!**

**Chapter 13 : It's tricky**

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Hitsugaya sat nervously, watching the clock, counting the seconds he had left

_Twenty... Nineteen... Eighteen..._

He hadn't had time to do much. Every time he started with some fabric he had to throw it away; it being either covered in white lines, cut to the wrong size, or sewn in a knot somehow. He didn't know how Kya would react to his 'outfit'. He knew how he would react, but then again, he wasn't the type of person to set such an insane task anyway.

_Fifteen... Fourteen... Thirteen..._

He had settled for something less than basic. Frankly, it was embarrassing, who could have guessed that the child prodigy would be so bad when it came to making clothes? Not him that was for sure, but after all, he hadn't tried to do so before this task.

_Eleven... Ten... Nine..._

It would have to do. He didn't have any time left, after all.

_Seven... Six... Five..._

He could sense the tension in the room. No one moved. Even their breathing seemed to disappear. They all waited.

_Three... Two... One..._

Kya burst through the door as the minute hand hit twelve.

"Happy New Year!" she shouted out. She paused and looked thoughtful. "Wait... no, that's not right, is it?"

Dark lines appeared on everyone's faces where their eyes should have been.

They were all standing or sitting on tables in the centre of the room. They had been waiting anxiously for Kya to turn up, far too nervous to actually try and look at their creations again. The only one that had been missing was Matsumoto, who had woken up ten minutes ago and started running around like a headless donkey, yes donkey, you got a problem with that?

"And so..." Kya said her voice deep and enriched with fake evil, "Judgement Day had come for those who were so sure nothing could defeat them. The highest ranking Shinigami all collected in one room. One must win, but not everyone must survive. Mwahahaha!"

Sometime in her speech the lights had gone out and a torch had been turned on, pointing up underneath her chin in the classic ghost story way.

"Oh well" she said back in her normal voice. The lights flickered on again and she threw the torch over her shoulder. "Time's up, people!"

Now a megaphone appeared in her hands. Where was she getting all this crap from?

"Put down your scissors and step away from the sewing machines." She spoke into the megaphone imitating a police officer from the real world. "I repeat, put down your scissors and step away from the sewing machines."

She threw the megaphone over her shoulder as well. Hitsugaya would not like to be someone just walking innocently behind her, knowing full well you were likely to get hit in the face with some odd piece of junk.

"So then" she continued normally, well, as normally as Kya could get, "everybody finished?"

"No!" came a muffled cry from somewhere in the room. Hitsugaya sighed. Kya looked shocked.

"And why not, Matsumoto?" she asked in false outrage.

"Because I fell asleep and no one woke me up!" Matsumoto appeared from behind one of the screens looking dishevelled. A piece of deep red material was in one hand and a roll of sticky tape was in the other.

"Oh... well..." Kya sounded almost nervous, "why was that?"

A few people fell over. She knew why no one woke Matsumoto up! It was because she threatened to kill Hitsugaya if he did!

"I don't know!" Matsumoto ran over to Kya and burst into tears. Kya embraced her in a hug and started stroking her hair comfortingly.

"There, there, don't worry, there'll be other tasks, and some I'm sure you'll win." She consoled the crying woman with enormous breasts. She should bloody console her! It was her who got her into this mess in the first place! "Besides, I haven't seen what you have done yet, so for all I know, it could be brilliant! The unfinished look is making a come-back, you know?"

"Really?" Matsumoto looked up through sobs. Kya nodded warmly. Matsumoto smiled and jumped back into the group.

"Anyway," Kya continued now talking to everyone in the room. "if you could please bring your outfits on the manikins and meet me in the main hall of the 6th division."

"Wait! 6th Division? Why us?" Renji complained.

"Because I said so, Abarai Renji." Renji furrowed his eyebrows, which creeped people out seeing as they weren't actually eyebrows but weird tattoos.

"Be there in ten minutes. And no more working!" Kya said as she left.

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"No"

"Why not?" Hisagi asked through the door.

"You can't come in until you put those sheets on top of your manikins!" Kya replied.

"What? Why?" Soifon now asked.

"Because I want it to be a surprise, duh!" Kya answered. Shuffling was heard coming from outside the door as twenty people draped white cloth over their work. "Ready?"

"Yeaaah!" about seven people told her.

"Ok then!" the door flew open and Kya stood there with a large smile on her face.

"Alright, alright, settle down" she said to the already silent Shinigami. "Come in and line up along that wall there, any order will do, it doesn't matter"

She stepped out of the way and the officers entered the room, pushing their outfits with them. Slowly a line started to emerge across the room as everyone found a place they were happy with. For once they weren't in their ranked places; they were stood with friends, or in a couple of cases, just wherever they ended up. Each stood beside their manikins nervously. No one talked. That is, except Kya, who had been talking non stop since they arrived.

"This is so awesome! I finally get to see them! I'm so excited! Aren't you all really excited too? You should be; it's a very exciting position to be in! Oh my God! I cannot believe that, afters days of waiting, I fin-"

Zaraki interrupted her ramblings.

"Can we just get on with this?" he asked.

"Oh, yes, of course, I almost forgot." She stepped up to the middle of the room, took a large breath, and cleared her throat dramatically.

"Ladies, gentlemen, weird clown type things" she addressed them. Mayuri's eyes narrowed but she ignored them, "Today is the day we have been waiting for! On this day, we reach back to hallowed antiquity, to bring you a recreation of the second fall of the mighty Carthage!... On the barren plain of Zama, there stood the invincible armies of the barbarian Hannibal. Ferocious mercenaries and warriors from all brute nations, bent on merciless destruction, conquest. Your emperor is pleased to give you the barba-"

She was looking into the distance, chest inflated and one hand over her heart. Dramatic music had started playing softly in the background. Suddenly it stopped and she looked at them seriously.

"Wait, no, that's from Gladiator, isn't it?" she said thoughtfully.

Any eyes that were not already dots had now shrunken to the size of them. She shrugged.

"Ok, I'll just start my speech again." She again cleared her throat and looked very important, "This speech is my recital, I think it's very vital, to rock a rhyme, that's right on time, It's Tricky is the title, here we go, It's tricky to rock a rhy-"

She stopped again and looked annoyed at the floor.

"Dammit, why do I keep doing that? First it's New Years, then I'm in some movie about Ancient Rome, and now I'm a member of Run DMC. God, what is up with my brain today? I must have eaten something weird." she said frustrated at not being able to say her own thing. "...And I so wanted to give an impressive speech."

She looked up and saw the, oh, so perplexed faces of the captains and lieutenants.

"What?" she asked as she laughed nervously. No one's expression changed.

"Alright then, since you're so eager to get this started, can we have our first contestant please?" she announced. No one moved. Kya sighed.

"Ok, I'll just choose someone then. Hmmm" she looked over everyone thoughtfully, finger outstretched in front of her. It settled on someone. "Mayuri! Congratulations! You get to be our first competitor!"

Mayuri stepped forward. He dragged him manikin over to where Kya was and looked at the others. A weird smile crossed his face.

"Prepare to be amazed" he told them.

He whipped off the sheets and everyone gasped. Kya walked up to it, not showing her emotion. She inspected it closely and touched the hems and some of the detail.

"Good... good... Well, I have to say Mayuri, you really have surprised me here, the technical skill required to make this piece is outstanding!" Mayuri looked proud at hearing Kya's praising words.

"I just have one question..." his face dropped.

"Yes?" he asked carefully.

"What is it?"

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**Haha! You'll just have to wait until next time to find out what it is!**

**After reading this chapter again, I realise how stupid it is. It's just wasting time really.**

**I'll show you a mouse if you review...**

**Meh, I'll show you anyway ('-.-')/**


	15. Allergies And Bin Bags

**Still ill:''( waahhhh!!! **

**This one is the basic end of the first task and so is really long. Just stick with it**

**Chapter 14 : Allergies and bin bags**

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Kya stood in front of the mirror and gently ran her fingers down the soft black satin she was wearing. Wow, she had no idea they could make something like this.

Nineteen hours ago she had assembled the captains and lieutenants in the 6th division hall, and today was the day she would be wearing the winner's design. She was extremely happy with her choice; none of the others even came close to this one. To be honest, the others were a bit, um, _strange_. Only about five of them you could actually wear, and only three of those were nice.

Yesterday had been a long day. Not only had it been the judging day, but Kya was sure she must have accidentally ingested some weird chemical of Mayuri's, because the entire day she had acted and felt weird.

"When I see that clown, I'm going to ask him a couple of questions..." she said under her breath.

Still, it had been a good day.

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_Nineteen hours ago_

"What is it?" she asked Mayuri confused.

"It's a self-improving defensive battle suit." He answered as if it were obvious.

"Riiight..." Kya looked closely at the odd thing in front of her, "And I suppose it has to be in the shape of a pineapple?"

Mayuri narrowed his eyes again.

"Yes"

Kya raised her own eyebrows and pursed her lips together.

"Well, in that case," she said, "I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to award you with winner status. You see, I'm allergic to pineapple!"

"But it's not actually a pi-"

"Oh, don't worry Mayuri, you weren't to know, now back in line." She had to gently shove Mayuri back into the line of officers and kept interrupting his protests that it wasn't a pineapple. Kya wasn't allergic to pineapple, everyone in the room could see this, it was just an excuse not to wear the monstrosity Mayuri had made. She actually really liked pineapples, just not to wear.

"Now, who's next?"

One by one, the 'contestants' had come up to her and shown her their designs. The one she had seen after Mayuri's was Soifon's. She dramatically had taken off the sheet only to reveal a rather familiar outfit. It was an exact replica of Yoruichi's, only not as well made. Kya had quickly dismissed it and asked the next person up. This just so happened to be Soifon's lieutenant. After copying Soifon's movements when removing the sheet, Kya couldn't help but have her eyes narrow to dots. The outfit was an exact replica of Soifon's uniform, only even worse made than her design. Kya had looked at the two people carefully.

"Something's wrong with your division" she stated simply before ushering the lieutenant back into line.

Next up was Komamura. His design was a simple bit of material wrapped tightly around the manikin and sewn together at the back. The simplicity, however, was not Kya's problem with it. Her problem was the material Komamura had chosen. It was light blue and had pictures of little Scotty dogs all over. Not quite the pinnacle of fashion. But what could you expect from an overgrown fox?

Then it was Momo. Her outfit was sweet, and actually quite well made. She was probably the type of child that would spend hours sewing clothes back together for other people. The problem was it was too sweet. The little pink ruffle skirt and lemon yellow spaghetti strap t-shirt were not exactly Kya's style. They would have definitely looked good on Momo herself though. But that wasn't the task was it? It wasn't _design an outfit for Momo_; it was _design an outfit for Kya_. And Kya wouldn't wear that outfit.

After Momo, Lieutenant Iba stepped up. His was even worse than his captain's dog fetish. It was a giant jumper, crudely sewn together, with a large image of a cat on the front. Kya had turned him away and saw the strange looks Komamura was giving him.

"Cats?" she heard him ask his lieutenant, who was looking shyly at the ground.

Then Hisagi. Kya was kind of expecting him to lift up the sheet to show something only a stripper would wear. However, it could not have been further opposite of that. It was a dress, but one that was completely shapeless, hems dragging on the ground, sleeves two inches after the arms stopped, and neckline almost cutting off the manikin's non-existent breathing. Not to mention the awful sewing. Kya's eyes widened and she looked carefully at Hisagi.

"Why-" she didn't have to finish the question.

"He wanted to prove to you he's not a pervert!" someone yelled from the line who sounded surprisingly like Matsumoto.

"Well, you don't have to be a pervert to design good clothes." Kya almost asked. Hisagi grumbled something at the floor and she shepherded him away.

Yachiru turned up next. Kya had to help her take the sheet off as she was about to knock the manikin over on her own. Underneath the sheet was a surprisingly cute dress. It was purple and had little black puffed out sleeves. The skirt was also black and puffed out slightly before ending just above the knee. Kya may have even worn it, if it hadn't been for the fact that it was completely unwearable. The sleeves were falling off, the skirt had a major rip in and the back of the dress was falling apart. Basically, Yachiru hadn't made it very well. Kya had softly declined the offer of her trying it on, and told Yachiru it wasn't quite what she was looking for. She had started sulking a bit, but Kya had come prepared. She handed over to Yachiru a bag full of sweets and she instantly cheered up.

After the little Yachiru-running-around-in-circles-extremely-hyper fiasco, it was Nemu's turn. Kya had been dreading this moment after watching her choices in fabrics. She quickly lifted the sheet off and revealed something that looked almost as bizarre as Mayuri's had. It was an old granny's dress; straight sleeves and a button up front. There was one other noticeable feature of the dress. It was neon orange. Kya couldn't deny its amazingly well made nature, but nothing on the earth could make her wear a neon orange granny's dress; it was just too scarring.

The tenth contestant was Joshiro. Kya knew he could sew, she had seen him fix up things that had been ripped, but she had no idea he could design. This was the first decent outfit she had seen so far, and it was beautiful. It was a typical Japanese kimono in a light pink material with a soft red flowery pattern. There was a large red bow on the back and the hems were of the same colour. Kya had given Joshiro a hug and squealed in delight. She was positive this one would be the winner.

However, she might as well look at the rest of them.

Kya sighed as Matsumoto came up to her with her manikin. Kya could tell that if she had a chance to finish it, it would have been gorgeous. However, it was not finished. The top of the dress was a deep red silk design and had clever braiding around the top of the bust line. The skirt, on the other hand, was a piece of material. It had no detail and had just been stuck to the torso with sticky tape. One side fell down so that it was only attached by one piece of tape. Kya gave Matsumoto a hug and said that she was sure she would win the next task.

Then Kira stepped up to the challenge. He tugged at the sheet self-consciously and it fell off. He had made a long t-shirt. It was black and red striped and held at the waist by a studded belt. Kya looked at it and then back at Kira.

"Nice, but..." she took out a red board pen from somewhere and wrote one word on Kira's shocked forehead.

"And that is why you're not winning." She said simply as she put away the pen. Kira tried to look up at what she had written, but of course, no one can see their own forehead.

"What does it say?" he asked

"Oh nothing" Kya said dismissively. Kira looked around at the others for help. No one offered it, but a few stifled their laughter. He walked back into the line, defeated, the word 'EMO' blazing in red letters on his forehead.

Thirteenth up was Lieutenant Kotetsu. She nervously stepped forward and offered up her outfit. It was basically the same thing as Komamura's but without the garish pattern. Kya inspected it carefully. The she noticed something wrong with how it was sewn.

"Wait, is that surgical sutures?" she asked disbelievingly.

"Yes, is that not what I was supposed to use?" she asked now confused.

"No"

Then it was the turn of Kotetsu's captain. Unohana unveiled what she had been working on. It was a simple white material wrapped loosely around the body many times, reminding Kya of a sari, although it did kind of look like bandages. It may have looked pretty on her and she asked Unohana if she could try it on, only to be told that if she did, it would all unravel and she may not be able to put it on again. Kya looked blankly at Unohana. She hadn't sewn it together at all.

"I could help you put it on!" Shunsui spoke up from the line. "Ow!" Nanao had hit him with her book.

After hitting her captain, it was Nanao's outfit to be shown. Everyone blinked when they saw it. It was an ordinary Shinigami uniform. Nanao explained that she thought the uniform was perfectly suffice and did not need any adornments to be practical. Kya told her it wasn't about being practical and Nanao had pointed to rule three on the list Kya had given them. It said try and make them a tiny bit practical. Kya sighed and told Nanao to get back in line.

Shunsui stepped up. He revealed his 'outfit' to the gasps of the others.

"Shunsui," Kya said to him "I said outfit"

"And that is what I have given you, my dear"

"No, you've given me what goes _underneath_ the outfit." She informed him looking at what was in front of her. It could only be described as incredibly delicately made lingerie.

"What do you mean? You could wear this for an entire day." Shunsui said, a sparkling in his eyes.

"I could, but I think I'd get rather a lot of new _friends_ following me around" Shunsui pouted, Kya smiled at him before telling him to get back into line.

"Ow!" Nanao had again hit him with her book.

The seventeenth competitor took up their position. Zaraki brought forward his manikin to Kya. Yachiru screamed in delight as Kya whipped off the sheets. People were amazed. Who would have guessed that big old macho man, Zaraki, could sew? There was a pair of remarkably well made skinny jeans, and a tight black t-shirt to go with it. It was so Zaraki, and yet, had he actually made this? Surely not, Zaraki didn't do fashion. Did he? He did spend hours placing bells on his hair, which he said were to make fighting more fun, but Kya knew they were for looks. Yachiru jumped onto Zaraki's shoulder happily, yelling things like 'You're so amazing Ken-chan!' and 'I wish I was as good as you!' at him. He grumbled at the looks people were giving him and they all simultaneously looked away. Joshiro had a rival.

People were still trying to take sneaky peeks at Zaraki while he wasn't looking, when Renji came forward. He took off the sheet and Kya instantly stepped away and grabbed her nose.

"Is that," she asked horrified, "a bin bag with holes cut in for arms and a head?"

"Maybe, so what if it is?" he asked back, getting all defensive.

"You could have at least used a new bin bag or washed it first." Stink lines came off of the upside down black bag in front of her. Everyone else was backing away from the smell.

"I can't sew alright!" he yelled at everyone.

"I'm not asking you to sew, I'm asking you to use a clean bin bag!" Kya yelled back. To Renji horror, he watched her pick up the manikin and throw it out the window, shattering the glass as it did so. She looked sheepishly at him.

"Sorry, couldn't stand the smell any longer."

"My work!" Renji shouted jumping after the manikin. Kya ignored him.

"Who's next?" she asked the room.

Hitsugaya stepped forward. He took off the sheet and showed everyone what it had taken him two days to complete. Kya blinked. It wasn't even an outfit. It was a life-sized drawing of an outfit stuck to the manikin with a piece of tape.

"Next!" she called out, choosing to plain ignore Hitsugaya and his drawing. He huffed and went back into the line.

Lastly, Byakuya advanced. He elegantly removed the sheet in one swift motion.

People gasped.

Kya's eyes widened.

Yachiru yelled.

"Bya-chan's a girl!" She was about to jump up to him but Zaraki caught her mid-air in one hand.

"You can sew? Why didn't you ever tell me?" Kya shouted at him.

"I had never tried before" he replied plainly.

"What? This was your first time sewing and you managed_ this_?" came another of Kya's shouts.

Yachiru spoke up again.

"Bya-chan really_ is_ a girl!"

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**Mwahaha! You'll just have to wait to see what Byakuya made! I feel so powerful!**

**Anyway yeah, next one rounds off this task completely and also has lots of Byakuya in. Yippee!**

**Review and I'll love you forever! Or maybe until the next one, I'm not sure.**


	16. Spying

**As you may have gathered, I've been back at school these couple of days after recovering from my terrible life-threatening flu-like disease.**

**This one has no comedy in at all. It's pure angsticatedness.**

**Chapter 15 : Spying**

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Kya looked at herself in the mirror and smiled. She turned away and made to exit her room. Before reaching the door she quickly tied her hair up in a pony tail. A few loose strands fell down at the front. She silently slid open the door only to take two steps backs.

"Oh, hi" she said to the person on the other side of the door. He had obviously just been about to knock.

"Good morning" Byakuya greeted respectfully.

"Did you want something?" she asked

"Yes, Yamamoto asked me to go fetch you; he wants to see you in his office in half an hour." He answered in his usual placid tone.

"Oh, ok, I'll go do that" she said. An awkward silence settled on the pair. Kya decided to break it.

"Sooo... what do you think?" she said twirling on the spot showing Byakuya what she was wearing.

"It looks nice"

"Nice? Well, that's not exactly the reaction I was looking for. I mean, you did design it." She told him.

She looked down at the dress. The main body was made of some black and white patterned material like old French wallpaper and stopped just above the hips. It was almost like a corset, although not ribbed, and had two thin black spaghetti straps going over the shoulders. The skirt was made of black satin and reached on one side to just below the knees, graduating to just above them on the other side. It was wide at the bottom and gathered slightly where it met the torso. A white piece of material acted like a belt where the two materials met and tied into a bow at the side. This was the winning outfit Kya had chosen. Mr Look-at-me-I'm-so-masculine had come out with a dress that far surpassed any that had been made by a girl. Actually, the only three outfits Kya had actually liked were all made by macho men. There must be something in the water in Seireitei.

"It looks good on you" Byakuya added to his previous statement.

"Fine then, I guess I'll have to put up with that much." She pouted a bit but knew better than to try and get Byakuya to show what he was truly thinking about the dress.

Another silence settled. After a minute, Byakuya turned to leave. Kya stopped him.

"Byakuya?" he turned back. Kya continued. "I... I... I hope you have a good day"

God dammit! Why did she say that? And why was she stuttering? Kya didn't do stuttering.

Byakuya nodded in response and turned to leave again.

"Byakuya?" Kya again caused him to turn back. He looked at her questioningly. "I... love what you've done with your hair."

Eeek! Kya grimaced at the random comment she had come up with. For God's sake, just say it, why don't you?

He turned, choosing to ignore the remark.

"Byakuya?" Byakuya turned to face Kya once again and sighed.

"What do you want Kya?" he asked

"I... I'm going to tea later... you could come... you know... if you wanted to."

"I am busy" he told her

"Oh, ok" Kya said sounding slightly hurt. She looked down at the ground. A slight frown crossed Byakuya's face for a second.

"I will see if I have time later on, and will contact you then" he told her, a tiny sigh evident in his voice. Kya looked up.

"Really?" Byakuya nodded. "Oh, ok, I'll hold you to that"

She smiled and Byakuya turned, finally leaving without Kya stopping him.

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"What did you want to speak to me for?" Kya asked as she entered Yamamoto's spotless office. It was larger than any of the offices but, if anything, was even plainer. A desk sat at the back in the centre and the immense space leading up to it was enough to make most people quake when seeing him.

"I wanted to get an update on how your investigation is going, as well as discuss certain matters with you" his old voice could send anyone to sleep.

"What kind of matters?" Kya asked sceptically. Yamamoto didn't usually want to talk about _matters_ with her and now him wanting to do so made her think something was up.

"The matters to do with these so called tasks you're setting" he answered, eyebrows furrowed.

"Ooooh, thought it might be that." Kya said back to her normal self as she sat comfortably on the chair opposite Yamamoto. "Well, are you going to tell me they're unorthodox or that they violate certain procedures or that they have no real purpose? Because I can answer all of those for you. Yes, they're unorthodox, but that's how I work, you knew that when you asked me to do this task. They may well violate procedures, but I seem to recall you telling me I could do as I wished. And yes, they do have purposes, and very good ones at that."

She finished. Yamamoto hadn't moved while she had talked but had listened to her points.

"Well, they were some of the points I was going to ask you," he said, "but more importantly I wanted to ask you about the future ones."

"Oh, yes?" Kya raised her eyebrows and looked intrigued.

"I wanted to make sure they weren't anything too, how should I put this, _eccentric_?" he gave her a look that said 'I know what you're planning and I strongly disagree'.

"No, no, no. They're not _too_ eccentric." Kya said as her eyes twinkled dangerously "But if you complain, as I've just said, you knew how I worked before you assigned me this mission, so you cant really expect me to change my ways now, can you?"

"No, I don't expect you to change your ways, as you put it." He sighed and looked slightly frustrated, "However, I just want you to know that if they are too eccentric that it may put you in a difficult position. These are captains you're dealing with after all; you don't exactly want to get on the wrong side of half of them at once."

"Ah, captains, the simplicity of the warnings a title can hold." Kya mused. Yamamoto might have rolled his eyes at this, but Kya couldn't really tell with the massive brow ridge and all.

"Yeah, yeah, I got it, be nice to them and all that jazz." She waved her hand dismissively as she said this. "Anything else?"

"Yes, why don't you tell me what you've found so far?" he asked her

"Nah, I'll keep my findings to myself until I'm ready to reveal them all at once, safer that way" she said

"Of course, secrecy is important in all this" he agreed, albeit a tad resentfully.

"That all then?"

"Yes" Yamamoto dismissed her and Kya got up off her seat and left the room, leaving Yamamoto to do whatever he wanted.

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Kya sat calmly opposite Byakuya in the small tea shop. She had to admit, she looked a bit out of place in her beautiful dress, compared to the plain clothes others were wearing. It was a nice tea shop. She personally wanted to go to a small place in one of the poorer parts of Rukongai, but she knew Byakuya wouldn't have been exactly comfortable there. He was still way too formal and posh for Kya's liking. It was just weird. Kya never used to think of him as a member of the noblest clan in Soul Society, but now, she couldn't help but see it. He was head of the Kuchiki family. His mere presence demanded respect.

She was nervous, which was odd. She never used to be nervous around him. She guessed that was what happened when you did something like she did. Neither of them talked. It was really getting on Kya's nerves.

"So," she settled on the right words "What have you been doing these past years?"

"I am sure that you already know that" he answered

"Really? How would I know that?" now she was interested.

"I'm sure there has been enough gossip for you to live on" he said before taking an elegant sip from the cup in front of him.

"Well, yeah, but that doesn't mean I know what's going on, some of this gossip's been even too remarkable for me to believe"

"Then you're visits should have been enough" it was a statement, not a question. Kya's eyes widened.

"Did you see me?" she asked him

"No, but I knew you were there" he replied serenely.

"Oh" was all Kya could think of saying. Of course Byakuya knew she had returned. He was intelligent enough to realise that was one of the ways she knew what had happened, as well as the fact that he knew her well enough to see that she would anyway.

"It was only once" she told him, looking down at the table, not wanting to meet his eyes.

"I know" he responded

"I just... wanted to see how everyone was" she said quietly. "I went to see everyone at least once. I think I visited Matsumoto the most, I wanted to know she was ok."

Byakuya didn't say anything, so Kya continued.

"I wanted to see if anything would change, you know, when I left. To be honest, I wanted things to change. I wanted the entire of Seireitei to fall apart without me. But that's a horrible thought, and I knew it at the time. But nothing did change, everything went on as normal. Yachiru was a bit upset, but Ken-chan managed to cheer her up with a handful of candy. Matsumoto was the most hurt, but even she forgot after a few months. I just wanted something to be different, but nothing was. And I know it's one of the vainest and most self-indulged things I could possibly think, but it's what I did. I'm an awful person."

She stopped, still looking down at the table.

"No you're not" Kya looked up to see Byakuya. His expression was the same of always, but his voice seemed somewhat softer. "You just wanted what anybody would want; to know you're time here wasn't spent in vain."

Kya's eyes widened. How could this man know so much? It was just impossible.

"I'm sorry for spying on you." She said in almost a whisper "It really was only once, and decades after I left. I honestly tried not to, but I couldn't stand it any longer. I needed to know you were alright. And you were. You were one of the happiest I've ever seen you. That's why I said I was glad you met her, because that one time I returned to see you, I saw how happy you were with her. Hisana really made you happy. I was truly upset when I heard she died, not because I knew her or thought she deserved to live, but because I knew how much it would be hurting you."

Byakuya was silent. Kya looked at him and for a second thought she saw something in his eyes. The flash of emotion however was far too quick for her to decipher what it was.

"It's fine" he finally said. Kya smiled meekly and looked back down at her now empty cup.

"Hey," she said, her voice slightly more cheerful, "you wanna get out of here?"

"Where to?" Byakuya asked cautiously. He knew better than to just follow Kya anywhere.

"Come on, I wanna show you something."

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**So you finally got to see Byakuya's dress, I know it wasn't that awe inspiring but whatever. Oooh, where's Kya gonna take him? And don't you be thinking it's something dirty like that, coz it's not you foul-minded people.**

**Next one's gonna continue the Byakuya fest. I'm pretty sure it's gonna be called 'Old Places, New Fights', but don't quote me on that.**

**Review please? Otherwise I'll start being a little emo girl and cry.**

**See not good is it? **


	17. Old Places, New Fights

**I'm feeling a bit down today so that may be why this chapter's so serious, but oh well.**

**Chapter 16 : Old places, new fights**

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Kya looked out at the scene before her and let out a small laugh. She glanced at Byakuya. His expression was the same as always.

"Why did you bring me here?" he asked her while looking at his surroundings.

"Because the look on your face when you realised where we were going was priceless." She answered. He turned to face her, now holding a questioning gaze.

"I don't believe my expression changed." He said

"Oh, it didn't much; I doubt anyone else would have noticed." She said casually as she gracefully walked forward. She paused and reached down. She slipped off her black pumps before stepping bare-footed onto the soft grass. "You have to admit, it feels good to be back. It's beautiful here."

A small stretch of grass lay before them. The light green blended effortlessly into the darker shades of the surrounding trees. A grey cliff face starred at them from across the grass and the soft trickling of water came from the gentle waterfall falling down it. The water tumbled down into a small clear pool at the bottom and then ran off into the stream leading out of the peaceful area. Despite the gentle current of the stream, it was completely clear and the water looked as clean as if it had come directly from a tap. Birds were singly in the distance and the occasional cricket chirped.

Kya ran towards the pool, leaving her shoes where they were. She laughed once more when she reached it and slid down onto her knees on the smooth rock that surrounded it. She leaned forwards and touched her fingertips to the surface of the calm liquid. It was cold and reminded Kya of silk.

Byakuya watched in silence. He had yet to move from his position on the grass.

Kya leaned back and let out a soft sigh. It was just loud enough for Byakuya to hear from where he was. She looked over her shoulder and directly at him.

"You know, just standing there makes you look retarded." She called to him happily. He rolled his eyes and made his way to where Kya was sitting. She had turned her attention upwards and was now looking at the clear blue sky above her head.

"Why did you really bring me here?" he asked as he joined her side by the pool.

"Hmm" she said as if she was pondering his question. Her eyes didn't leave the sky overhead. After a few minutes she spoke. "I'm not sure, it just came to me"

A silence engulfed the area as neither of them spoke. This time however, it was not awkward. It was peaceful and soothing, as if they didn't need to say anything. The birds still sung in the trees and the crickets still chirped in the long grass. It was five minutes later that Kya spoke again.

"Do you remember the first time we came here?" She turned her head and looked up at Byakuya.

"Yes" he replied returning Kya's gaze.

"That was a long time ago" she said seriously. Byakuya turned his stare to the water.

"It was"

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_"Kya, where are you taking me?"_

_"I dunno, wherever my feet lead me" she replied as she ran on leading Byakuya by the hand. She stopped when she reached a small clearing._

_"Wow" she uttered under her breath, amazed at the beautiful sight in front of her. "I mean wow"_

_"Where are we?" Byakuya asked, slightly shaken by the scene as well._

_"Somewhere in the twenty third district I think" she answered. She walked through the dew soaked grass, leaving soft indentations with each step. Byakuya followed a few paces behind. They reached the other side of the clearing and peered up at the waterfall falling down the rock face. Kya sat down on the rock that bordered the small pool at the bottom. She removed her shoes and tentatively dipped a toe into the water. She paused, waiting to see if anything happened. Nothing did and she slowly dipped the rest of her toes in so that they rested just below the surface._

_"It's perfect" she said quietly, more to herself than to Byakuya. He squatted down himself and felt the water with a finger. He quickly removed it._

_"It's cold" he said. Kya laughed._

_"You've been brought up in too much comfort, you have." She teased. He narrowed his eyes jokingly._

_"You're mean" she laughed again._

_"Maybe, but at least I'm not squatting there like a moron" Byakuya grumbled at hearing this and sat down next to her._

_"There, happy?" he asked trying to sound angry and failing miserably._

_"Very" _

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"A lot's changed since then" Kya almost whispered while staring blankly at her toes that were now immersed in the water, like they had been so many years ago. "Time always changes so much"

"We shouldn't be here" Byakuya suddenly spoke up. Kya looked at him her eyebrows raised.

"Why not?" she asked.

Byakuya didn't say anything but instead looked at the rock in front of them. An expression was in his eyes that told Kya he was thinking deeply.

He was thinking deeply. He was thinking about another time they had come here, several years after their first visit. He was thinking about the reason they shouldn't be here.

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_"What are you thinking about?" Kya asked him as she moved her legs slowly through the water of the pool. She was sitting on the edge; leaning back supported by her arms, and was peering with one eyebrow raised at Byakuya._

_"Nothing" he dismissed too quickly. Kya noticed this._

_"Oh, come on, you can tell me." She pleaded. Byakuya sighed, trying to keep something from this woman was impossible._

_"Just the pressures of everyday life" he answered honestly._

_"What pressures?" she lifted her legs out of the water and turned where she was sitting to face Byakuya completely. She looked concerned._

_"What people are saying. You know they're telling me to separate myself from you?" he sounded slightly depressed as he said this._

_"Why?" she asked now looking confused._

_"They say you can't be trusted, that you're some manipulative spy used by the authorities to keep everyone in order, and you couldn't possibly feel any true emotion towards someone." He averted his eyes from her, not wanting to have to look at her face while saying these things._

_"Do you believe them?" she asked quietly_

_"No!" he suddenly turned back to her. "How could I believe that? It's ridiculous!"_

_She sighed._

_"It's not completely ridiculous. You know that. What I do is manipulative, I am sometimes ordered to do spy work, and sometimes I need to help keep the peace. Isn't that just what they're saying?" she spoke the words calmly. How could she be alright at being called all those things? It would have driven Byakuya crazy._

_"But the part about emotion, it's-"_

_"I know, I know, but it's to be expected that they think that. What you've got to realise is that people fear what they don't understand, and they don't understand me, so naturally they're worried that their little Kuchiki has become my friend." She explained cutting Byakuya off. He saw she was right. She was always right about these things. He nodded and she smiled softly. She turned back to the water._

_"Kya?" Byakuya asked after a minute of silence._

_"Yeah?" she faced him once again. _

_Before she knew what was happening Byakuya gently placed his lips to hers. He quickly pulled away._

_"I... I'm sorry... I shouldn't have done that." He said nervously. "I'll just go."_

_He started to get up but Kya stopped him. She placed a hand under his chin and turned his head so that he had no choice but to look directly into her eyes._

_"You don't know how long I've been waiting for you to do that."_

_Byakuya's eyes widened at hearing her words. She leaned in and softly kissed him again. It took a second for Byakuya to realise what was happening, but once he did he closed his eyes and returned the tender kiss. It was warm and her lips tasted sweet. He tried to identify the familiar taste. Then he remembered; it was blueberry. All too soon she pulled away and smiled at him._

_"We better be getting back" she whispered. "They'll be wondering where their little Kuchiki is."_

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This was the spot where they had first kissed. It wasn't right that they should now be sitting here. Not after so long.

Byakuya looked at Kya. She was staring at him, questioning what he had said.

"Why?" he whispered. Kya's eyes widened. Byakuya's voice was almost the same as usual, but to Kya it was full of pain.

"Why what?" she whispered in return, terrified of the answer.

"Why did you leave?" he asked.

"I... I... I..." she stammered. She couldn't find the right words. She knew this conversation would happen eventually. Yet now it seemed completely unexpected. What could she say?

"Well?" his tone shifted from one of pain to one that held hidden anger.

"I... it was..." Why was her brain failing her now? She just wanted to tell him, but she couldn't, it was too hard.

"You just ran. Nothing, not a word, you didn't even leave a letter. One day you were here and the next you weren't. For all I knew you could have died." He voice was calm and yet it conveyed so much anger it was deafening to Kya.

"Byakuya, I just..." she paused then settled on what to say, "It wasn't easy on me either!"

Ouch! Not the best thing she could have said, well, practically yelled.

"Really? Somehow I doubt that." He said disbelievingly.

"It wasn't!" she stood up; her blood was starting to boil at a new found anger.

"Then why did you do it?"

"Because I thought I didn't have a choice!" she shouted at him.

"You told me once there was always a choice." His voice remained quiet.

"I know! There_ is_ always a choice! It's just sometimes one of the choices is too terrible to even contemplate!" her eyes were starting to water. She held back the tears that were fighting their way through. She couldn't cry in front of him, not for something that was her own fault.

"Well maybe you should have contemplated harder" he said. Kya could see the almost invisible venom in his voice.

"I know, ok? I should have! Do you really think I'm happy about what I did? Because I'm not! I have regretted my decision every day since! But once I made it I couldn't take it back!" the tears that had been struggling were finally let loose and allowed to run freely down her face. He had never spoken to her like this. Yes they had fought before. But the poison he was spitting at Kya was far harsher than anything she had seen him say before. It hurt Kya. Byakuya narrowed his eyes slightly.

"Why couldn't you take it back?" he asked

"I just couldn't! It wasn't up to me! Every single day I would wake up and wish to be able to just run back to you! That's why I didn't come to see you for so long; because I knew if I did I probably wouldn't have been able to leave! I just... I just..." she looked down at the ground in front of her feet, not able to tell him the entire truth. She didn't want to see his face; if she did she doubted she would ever be able to stop crying.

"They were right about you, weren't they?" Kya immediately knew what he was referring to and looked up shocked. This was too much. She couldn't take it anymore.

She ran. She rushed past him and ran straight out of the clearing, tears streaming down her face. She thought he might have understood, but he didn't. He would never understand. He would forever hate her. Nothing could change that.

Byakuya stood there. The trickling of the waterfall and the singing of the birds seemed to evaporate. He knew he had been insensitive, but it was her own fault. She deserved it. Didn't she? He didn't know what came over him but suddenly he had felt a jolt of anger in his soul. It was so unlike him, but he knew he had to speak his mind.

He started slowly walking away, his mind full of questions.

He stopped.

He looked down at the grass. Lying where she had originally left them were a pair of elegant black shoes. He sighed at seeing them.

What had happened to them?

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**Awww! sniff so intense. Ok not really but oh well.**

**I'm feeling happier now. The joys a glass of wine and a ciggy can bring. God I better not turn into an alko.**

**I promise the next one will have more comedy, because I like writing comedy.**

**Well review?**


	18. The Competition

**I wrote this one really quickly so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes.**

**Chapter 17 : The competition**

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Kya hadn't slept much the last couple of nights. Her mind was too full of swirling thoughts. Memories from decades earlier mixed with those from that day, and Byakuya's voice kept piercing through her heart making her struggle not to curl up under her covers and cry her eyes out. She didn't want to turn into one of those self-pitying people that did nothing but wallow in their own misery. She had to remain strong. After a couple of hours of desperately trying to remove these memories from her head and fall asleep, she gave up. She had gotten up and left her room for the night outside. She had spent these nights sitting on the roof of the first division headquarters, gazing up at the stars above her head, and thinking about everything that had happened and wondering what to do next. At last she had come to the conclusion she just had to continue like nothing had happened and get on with this mission. Then she could leave again and wouldn't need to think about such things anymore.

It was for this reason that when Kya had entered the hall of the forth division she hadn't exactly looked her best. She had tried to fix her hair and make herself look respectable, but the bags underneath her eyes were undeniable. Sure, the lines of eyeliner helped conceal them, but she knew that several of the officers would notice. She just hoped they would know better than to ask her about them.

"Ok people" she greeted the captains and lieutenants as she walked into the room. She was trying not to sound exhausted and seemed to pull it off pretty well. They stopped talking and looked up at her from the line they were in on the other side of the room. "I seem to have called another meeting, don't I?"

There wasn't an answer. Kya continued.

"Yeah, it's just to inform you of some of the details of the second task." This time she got a reaction. Eyebrows raised and heads turned in anticipation of hearing what Kya had planned. "Oh, don't get too excited, I'm not gonna tell you what it actually involves yet. I'm just gonna tell you of the time and place and what to bring and stuff like that."

Faces fell, although they were still curious at hearing what she had to say.

"I want everyone to assemble outside of the eighth division headquarters at nine tonight..." she paused and looked at Hitsugaya. "...that's not too late for you is it Shiro-chan?"

He narrowed his eyes.

"No"

"Good, I wouldn't want you to be up past your bedtime or anything." Hitsugaya had to stop himself from jumping on her and ripping out her eyes at hearing this. He was not a little kid and he did not have a bedtime. She shouldn't think that.

"Now what you need to bring, hmm..." she looked off into the distance and put a finger to her chin, "...Yourselves!" She exclaimed while raising both her arms in the air.

People blinked. Kya was acting odd today, and not in the normal way.

"Yeah I think that's it. Come to think of it, if it was just that, why did I need to see you all? Hm, must have been thinking about something else at the time." She dismissed. "See you all then, then"

And she turned and left the room. That had to be the shortest meeting ever. The only thing anyone other than Kya had said was just Hitsugaya's 'no', and Kya herself had said hardly anything. She truly didn't see why she had called it in the first place; she could have easily sent hell butterflies. But at the time it just seemed like a good thing to do.

She also pondered at her little habit of calling the officers to different headquarters every other day. She guessed it was just her liking a change in environment that caused it. She then set herself a little task. She would gather all the captains and lieutenants at least once in every headquarter. Hey! It was something to do! There wasn't much else to do in this dull place; she might as well set herself pointless challenges as well.

Well, until tonight then...

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The captains stood nervously behind the one long table Kya had set up. Like the first task, a white sheet covered the strangely shaped objects underneath. The only major differences between this and the first task were that for one it was outside in the cold night air, and two there seemed to be a large banner floating mid-air above the table, a sheet was also covering this. There wasn't a wind tonight and several torches were positioned around the table lighting the area. Despite the lack of warning posters, no one looked under the sheets. This time they were just plain scared of actually knowing what the task was. It was sure to be terrifying.

"Good evening Seireitei!"

A spotlight came from no where and illuminated a patch of ground a few meters in front of the table. Kya was standing there one arm in the air and was holding a microphone in the other. It was as if she was addressing the audience at a rock concert or something.

"How are you all doing on this fine night?" she shouted into the microphone. Her voice wasn't amplified at all and many noticed that the microphone wasn't even plugged into anything.

Matsumoto put her arms up in the air and screamed like a rabid fan.

"We love you!" she screeched at Kya. People turned to face her and gave her an odd look. She laughed nervously. "What?"

Kya did her thing and threw the microphone over her shoulder.

"So everyone, congratulations for all arriving so promptly." Kya told them, no longer shouting. Hisagi looked at his watch, it was almost ten. So, promptly meant an hour late to Kya, did it?

"Now I'm gonna do a speech, and hopefully it won't turn into some random quote from something completely unrelated." She said still slightly frustrated at her last attempt going so badly. She cleared her throat and puffed out her chest, trying to look serious. "Tonight we have all gathered for a momentous event. This is an event that may change many of your lives forever. It is an event that can not be completed with mere thoughts. It needs to be completed with your hearts. I, Arakaki Kya, am proud to announce the commencing of the second task!"

She finished and wiped her brow.

"Wow, glad that came out properly." She muttered. Everyone stared at her wide eyed. Once again they all found it hard to believe this woman. When no one spoke up, Kya continued speaking.

"Now, this one's even simpler than the first task. There isn't a long list of unnecessary rules or a set time limit. It isn't one of those things that you can work for and improve as you're going along. You're either gonna be good at it, or you're not. Actually, technically I suppose it's not a task, it's more of a competition." She said matter-of-factly. Matsumoto's eyes widened.

"Wait, it's not what I think it is, is it?" she asked excitedly. Kya grinned.

"It is!" she replied in the same excited tone, nodding furiously. Matsumoto screeched, hopped over the table and ran to Kya. When she reached her the two women hugged and started jumping up and down in a circle, squealing like children who had just found a treasure chest full of toys.

"You're a genius!" Matsumoto told her after a solid two minutes of jumping around.

"I know!" and they hugged each other again. Kya broke apart and put on a false serious face. "Now get back into line or we'll never get around to the competition!"

"Yes ma'am!" Matsumoto saluted her before running happily back into her place. Hitsugaya raised an eyebrow at her and she just pretended to zip up her lips.

"Getting back to the task..." Kya spoke to everyone again. "I am proud to present..."

She pulled a string that was dangling in mid air and the sheet on the banner fell off. There in large red letters was the title of the second task.

People gasped.

Matsumoto squealed again.

"...The Gotei 13's First Captain-Lieutenant Drinking Competition!" Kya finished, reading the words off the banner.

She walked over to the table and whisked the sheet off of it. It revealed a mountain of bottles upon bottles of sake. Buckets were placed in front of each of the Shinigami, obviously there for vomit emergencies. Only five of the officers had eyes anymore; the others' had all evaporated at the sight.

"What the hell, Kya?" Hitsugaya shouted having found his eyes again.

"Oh, sorry Shiro-chan, forgot about your age, umm... maybe you should sit this one out, I don't want to get in trouble for giving alcohol to minors." She apologised.

"I'm not a minor!" Hitsugaya replied, not thinking about what he was saying. He quickly realised what he had done. "I mean-"

"Oh, that's great then! You can join in after all!" she proclaimed. Hitsugaya looked down and sighed in defeat.

"Not to sound too rude..." Kya turned to face the new voice. Momo was standing there fidgeting with her robes, "but what has this got to do with proving our loyalty?"

"I'm glad you asked that Momo!" she exclaimed raising a finger in front of her face and looking determined. "It has everything with proving your loyalty! My reasoning is this; those of you that suck it up and drink the largest amount of sake are obviously those who would do anything for the good of Seireitei! Putting your own liver at stake for a challenge proves to me how dedicated you are! It makes perfect sense!"

People fell over.

"I know, I know, with my logic I should be a detective, shouldn't I? But sadly it's just not for me." Kya chimed with her eyes closed, over proud at her terrible reasoning. "And that brings me round to the rules. They're quite simple; the one who manages to drink the most without throwing up or passing out is the winner! Everyone has to drink something and can only give up if they feel their own personal safety is at risk. There may only be a rest of three minutes between each drink, any longer and you will be disqualified. After finishing a bottle you must put it behind your station so that at the end I know it was you that has drunken it, and no cheating on that part cause I'll know. Oh, and if you are gonna puke, try and do it in the buckets, nobody likes being covered in sick."

Hitsugaya furrowed his eyebrows at the last part; certain Kya was just trying to wind him up.

"Alright, ready?" she asked raising a hand that held a small white flag.

"No!" several people yelled.

"Go!" Kya ignored them, dropping her arm with the flag and officially starting the second task.

Matsumoto dived right in. She was soon joined by Zaraki and Shunsui. Then a few others. Soon, everyone had taken at least a sip of the sake.

Kya watched amused as the drinking began.

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**Ha! What has Kya gotten them into this time?**

**Yeah, you may be saying that I update really quickly, as I personally try to. This is for three main reasons; 1) coming up with stories like this is what I do naturally when my mind wanders, I've done it for as long as I can remember but had never put it down on paper before, I think the first actual tv show I created a story for was Pokemon when I was about seven; 2) I'm pretty fast at writing so it doesn't take that long; 3) which means I can easily write something when I get home from school in the week or at night (ok early morning technically) after I get in at the weekends (I'm surprisingly good at typing after having a few)**

**That was propa random. If you actually read all that; well done you! You get a virtual sticker! **

**Now it's getting too long, bye bye.**


	19. Strip Bars & Crushes

**Damn, this one took a long time to get out. And just after I wrote why I was so quick as well. I've just had a lot going on as well as finding it a bit hard to write comedy. To make up for it this one's super long. So hurrah hussar! at the length.**

**Kids, don't try this at home, drinking the amounts I stated in this chapter would probably lead to death & it's only because these are Shinigami that they aren't whisked off to the emergency room immediately, you know, them already being dead and all.**

**Also, I've never drunken sake before, so have no idea what it tastes like and such. Please don't yell at me if I get something wrong.**

**Chapter 18 : Strip bars and crushes**

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Momo eyed the bottle in her hand warily. She had only drunk a couple of times before, and then it wasn't anything serious. To be honest, she hated the taste of alcohol. It was just nasty. Slowly she lifted the bottle to her lips and took a sip of the warming liquid.

She spat it into the bucket immediately.

Yuck.

"Oh, and we have our first loser!" Kya announced as she walked over to the table. "Step away from the table Momo, coz you're outa 'ere!"

She pointed off to the side and Momo sadly put down the bottle and walked away. She was disappointed in how badly she had failed; she had only had one sip; but was also slightly happy at not having to drink anymore. She heard Kya clap her hands together as she made her way out of the competition area and back to her division headquarters. She didn't want to be around some of the captains when they were drunk. Who knew what they would do?

"Right, one down, eighteen to go!" Kya said merrily, pacing the length of the table and eyeing each of the contestants carefully.

She noticed that each of the officers had their own style of drinking. Hitsugaya would take a small sip, eye the bottle cautiously, then after a minute take another sip. Shunsui would do some complex flourish with his arm while chugging down liquid from the bottle in his other. Kira would drink it normally as if it were a bottle of beer. Komamura would sniff the bottle before pouring a bit down his snout. Mayuri would pour a bit onto his finger and then lick it off that, something that creeped Kya out a bit. Joshiro would every now and then take an elegant drink from the bottle and then put it down again. Matsumoto, Zaraki, and surprisingly Yachiru, would simply wolf it down like it was water.

Byakuya had taken out a small cup from somewhere and was pouring the sake into it before nobly drinking. He had just finished his first cup.

"I feel at risk to my personal safety." He said blankly. People watched open mouthed as he got up and walked off. Kya looked equally shocked.

"What?" she yelled after him. He didn't respond.

"Yeah, well maybe Yachiru was right! Maybe you are a girl!" she shouted angrily. She was still frustrated about the other day, and his blatant lack of effort in this task did not help at all. He glanced back and even the dumbest Shinigami present could notice that his eyes were slightly narrower than usual. He turned back and continued walking away. "That's right mister! You keep walking away!"

Kya huffed as she turned to the table.

"What do you think you're doing?" she shouted at the wide eyed captains and lieutenants. They all looked back down and suddenly got very interested in what they were drinking.

"Give me that." Kya said as she grabbed a newly opened bottle of sake from Nemu's hand. People glanced at her nervously as they saw her chug down a huge gulp of the stuff. Something was definitely up between those two. What? Nobody wanted to ask.

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Kya was on her second bottle already. Yes, she didn't particularly want to get drunk over something as minor as a fight with Byakuya. But she couldn't take it any longer. She had been worried sick these past few days, hadn't been sleeping, and having him blank her was the last straw. Granted, she wasn't nearly as drunk as some of the high-ranking officers. Some of them were completely wasted. The part of her that remained its common sense had told Kya to pace herself and not over-do it. So she had been drinking slowly.

Lieutenant Kotetsu had been the next person to be disqualified after throwing up after only half a bottle. She was not used to drinking. Add to that her medical knowledge of what this stuff could do to her body, she had not felt good about this.

Kira had held on a bit longer, having actually finished his bottle. Shortly after opening his second however he had passed out. Kya had muttered 'lightweight' under her breath before sticking a post-it to his head, where the word 'emo' still showed faintly despite his vigorous attempts to remove it, saying 'OUT'. It was just in case she got so wasted she couldn't remember what happened and who had won.

It was a longer break until the next person gave up, almost half an hour in fact.

Nemu had been drinking slowly and was almost through with her second bottle when her face turned bright orange.

"Kurotsuchi-sama, I don't feel my best..." she had said quietly while swaying from side to side. Mayuri had looked at her and Kya could have sworn she saw something that resembled concern in his eyes.

"What do you mean, Nemu?" he had asked.

It was then that Nemu's eyes had turned completely yellow and she had collapsed. Mayuri stood up, picked Nemu up in a fireman's lift and muttered something to Kya about how her body may have not been adapted to ingest alcohol and he needed to do some tests on her. She had excused him and he had flash-stepped away towards his own headquarters. Kya felt sorry for Nemu. Who knew what these tests Mayuri wanted to do on her would be?

Kya slumped down into the huge armchair she had got someone to bring out when she began to feel tired of standing.

"And then I said to him-" she heard Zaraki yell drunkenly. He must have already drunk three times the amount anyone else had.

"Zaraki, no one wants to hear you tell another story about kicking some guy's ass." Hisagi told him. He was also ahead of others in the drinking game and everyone knew he would not have dared say something like that to Zaraki had it not been for the alcohol in his blood.

"Oh yeah, little man? Then maybe I should create a new story right here!" Zaraki shouted at him.

"Yeah, maybe you should!" Hisagi replied as he waved a bottle around in front of him.

"Then I will!" Zaraki roared as he took two steps towards his new opponent.

"Bring it on!" Hisagi threatened back. The two men drew their swords and made for each other. Zaraki was about to shred Hisagi up into toilet paper when he tripped. He fell flat on his face. Hisagi blinked as he swayed where he was. Zaraki didn't move.

Suddenly, a colossal snore ripped through the air.

Zaraki was asleep.

Hisagi swayed some more.

"Well, that serves you right!" he shouted dreamily before falling to the ground in a heap and passing out.

Kya slowly stood up.

"And we have two more losers! Actually, maybe Zaraki isn't. He's so far ahead he may still win. You know, the rules are whoever drinks the most, not whoever's the last one standing. Maybe Zaraki has already done enough to win..." she rambled, slightly tipsy herself. "I'm gonna sit down again now"

She sat, afraid that if she remained standing she may have fallen over.

"You know, once I went to the real world and went to this bar," Matsumoto started her own story, leaning forward and resting her elbows on the table. "It was so much fun, all the customers were guys and there was this stage area. These girls were on the stage and they had hardly any clothes on. Some guys asked me if I'd dance with another of the girls, so I did, but of course I had to take off my top first, and I-"

Her elbow slipped and her head hit the table.

"Wow, tables are pretty close up" she muttered still with her forehead against the wood. Kya noticed the growing pile of empty bottles behind her. She was smashed.

"You know what else is pretty, your fantastic pair of god-given boo-" Shunsui was cut off by a book hitting him on the head. Despite the amount Nanao had drunken, she still had enough sense to hit her captain when it counted.

"Darling, if you really wanted my attention that much you just had to ask." Shunsui said flirtatiously as he turned to his lieutenant.

"Let's just keep that in your dreams, why don't we?" Nanao replied, taking another delicate sip from the sake bottle.

"Ooh, but when I wake up I feel sooo lonely" he whined. Nanao gave him a look that said 'don't say stuff like that while I'm here'. Shunsui grinned at her wickedly. After a few minutes of Shunsui staring, Nanao hit him on the head again.

"And no undressing me with your eyes." She told him flatly.

"I like doing that..." Lieutenant Iba murmured in a way that told everyone he had spaced out.

"What?" Nanao almost yelled as she turned to him, eyes bulging out of her head.

"Yeaaah..." Iba yawned before promptly falling asleep.

"My precious Nanao! I must protect her!" Shunsui cried as he ran forwards and grasped a shocked Nanao in his arms. "No one shall hurt you, my poor ickle Nanao! You are mine and I shall forever make sure you are safe!"

"What do you mean I'm yours?" she shouted at him, outraged at being classed as a possession, let alone her buffoon of a captain's possession.

"Yes you are! Yes you are!" Shunsui cried, shaking his head wildly from side to side. She tried to shake him off of her but he just clung harder. Finally she managed to shift him.

"Nooo!" Shunsui yelled after being pushed away. He ran straight towards her again, but this time he forgot to stop. He landed on top of her in a heap on the ground. Nanao looked up into her captain's drunken eyes. He stared back. Then Nanao dared to speak.

"Get off me." She said bluntly.

"But you're so beautiful..." Shunsui moaned in a daze. Nanao sighed when she felt the distance between them lessen to zero.

It was too late.

Her captain had just passed out.

Kya was watching Nanao struggle to lift her motionless captain off of her, when she heard Soifon retch. She looked and sure enough, the leader of the special forces had her head buried in the bucket in front of her. Kya took another swig before Soifon lifted her head up. She was now pale and looked like death.

"Go back to your division Soifon, you're out" Kya said plainly. Soifon nodded feebly in return then started walking slowly away. Her lieutenant looked up shocked, realised his precious captain was no longer there, and quickly took a sip of sake only to spit it out again. He didn't want to show up his captain after all.

"And now you're gone too." Kya addressed him absent-mindedly as she played with a piece of string in her hand. "Honestly, there really is something wrong with your division."

The lieutenant nodded quickly then rushed off to help Soifon walk back to their headquarters.

Five minutes later Unohana spoke up.

"Kya, I'm afraid to announce that, although my mind is functioning perfectly, I feel as if there is a slight strain being put on my liver and that, if I continued to drink the way I am now, it will, sometime in the future, fail and I will attain liver cirrhosis which would in turn cause my untimely demise." She explained casually.

"What now?" Kya asked. Her mind was a bit too preoccupied with thoughts of mutant penguins attacking the earth to handle the speech Unohana had just given.

"I feel my health is at risk" Unohana explained more clearly.

"Oooooh... well fine then, if you put it that way, you can resign." Kya told her. Unohana bowed and then walked calmly away. Kya looked to where her place had been, there were quite a few empty bottles. Kya marvelled at how Unohana was able to remain so collected after drinking so much, if she had continued she may have won.

Komamura was the next one out. Ten minutes after Unohana resigning, a ten minutes full of drunken yells from a few of the officers, he had lifted the bucket and puked into it. His fur had stood on end and his back was arched. He looked a lot like the fox he was in that moment. Kya had managed to somehow stand up and walk over to him, where she had patted him on the furry shoulder and told him to step away. He had stumbled away, sometimes on all fours, and Kya realised how glad she was she had gotten someone else to agree to clean this mess up.

Nanao had gone shortly after that. Her condition had severely deteriorated since the little incident with her captain. After finally managing to get up again she had started drinking a lot faster than she had been previously. After the pile had grown so much that she could positively be classified as whacked, she had made her only mistake. In her drunken nature she had inadvertently whisked her hand around while it was still clutching the book and hit someone in the head; herself. She had hit herself with such force that she promptly fell flat onto the ground unconscious. Kya grimaced. That would hurt in the morning.

After that Joshiro had politely walked over to Kya and told her that he should be going. Kya had excused him without hesitation. For a moment she had forgotten about his illness, but now she was regretting this task a little bit. It could not have been good on Joshiro to drink that much. Of course, Joshiro would laugh if she ever told him this; she was always too overprotective of him and worried far too much about his health. After Joshiro had left she looked at his place. There were only a few empty bottles. He had been pacing himself. Kya sighed in relief.

And so four remained.

Three of them shocked Kya. Sure, it was a given that Matsumoto would still be in. But Yachiru? She was just a little girl; she shouldn't be so good a drinking. Kya puzzled at what Zaraki had been letting her do while she was away. And then Hitsugaya? He was also a kid in Kya's eyes. What has the world turned to when children can out-drink a full grown man? Lastly, there was Renji. Sure he looked big and tough, but Kya was sure he would have been another lightweight. Having him in proved Kya wrong, and she did not like being wrong.

"Aint they just wonderful though? I mean, they're so full and bouncy. Although, sometimes they do get in the way and-"

"Matsumoto! Stop talking about your breasts!" Hitsugaya shouted at his lieutenant.

"Aww, come on Taicho, they're just breasts, it's not like they're harmful or anything." Matsumoto told him. Hitsugaya frowned, knowing full well that in Matsumoto's hands those breasts could be deadly. "You can see them if you want-"

"No!" he yelled.

"You're boring..." Matsumoto mumbled. Yachiru jumped up to Hitsugaya.

"Shiro-chan isn't boring..." Hitsugaya received an anger mark, upset that the nickname was catching on, "...he just wants to see Quiet-Girl's breasts more than he does Big-Boobies'!"

"Well, that's true." Matsumoto agreed.

"What? Who's Quiet-Girl and why the hell would I want to see her breasts?" he roared furiously.

"Duh, Quiet-Girl is Momo, you idiot" Renji spoke up while taking another drink.

"I do not want to see Momo's breasts!" Hitsugaya got all defensive.

"Awww, has little Shiro-chan got his first crush?" Kya teased after suddenly appearing at Hitsugaya's side. Hitsugaya went red, and not completely from anger.

"You are all so immature..." he said under his breath.

"At least I don't fancy someone whose two feet taller than me." Renji said.

"She is not two feet taller than me!" Hitsugaya shouted.

"So you do fancy her?" Kya asked.

"No! I- I- We're just friends!" Hitsugaya's stammering told everyone otherwise.

"Whatever..." Renji said disbelievingly.

Hitsugaya had had enough. He walked towards Renji, and with one swift motion, brought the sake bottle in his hands down onto his head. Renji fell to the floor unconscious. Hitsugaya looked back at the others. They were all silent.

"Aww, Shiro-chan's so cute with his smashing!" Kya squealed ignoring the look of pure anger Hitsugaya was giving her. "But unfortunately, that's against the rules, so you're disqualified."

"Good! This was a bloody stupid task!" he shouted before stomping off.

"Go check in on Quiet-Girl, Shiro-chan! I'm sure she'd be glad to see you!" Yachiru yelled after him. He just kept walking.

And so the three girls were left on their own. Well, technically there were others there, they were just preoccupied with gaga land having passed out or fallen asleep. In the future, people would grimace at the thought of these three alone with mountains of sake. They were not the type to be trusted while intoxicated.

"And then this guy upset Ken-chan, so he was all like pow! and kerzap! and he kicked-" Yachiru stopped half way through another of her stories about Zaraki beating some guy to the ground and looked at Matsumoto, "Big-Boobies, why is your face green?"

Matsumoto's face was in fact green, and she looked completely zoned out.

"Aw, Matsumoto!" Kya cried as she handed the bucket to her friend.

"But it's still early!" she whined. It was too late. Matsumoto threw up in the bucket and she was disqualified. Yachiru was the last one standing. Sure, Kya didn't know if she had won yet, she would have to count all the bottles to know that, but it seemed as if anything was possible when this little ball of pink was concerned.

Shortly after, Yachiru had ran off in search of some chocolate to help wash down the sake, and Kya was the last conscious person around the table.

She wasn't there for long though.

No, she had someone she needed to see.

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**There, told you it was mega long didn't I? **

**Oh god I'm aching all over. I'm stuck in bed today. Not because I'm physically ill, but because my muscles have completely broken down and I cant walk. It's propa ghey.**

**Anyway, yeah.**

**Reviews will help my muscles work again!**


	20. His Name Is Fang

**Waiting for a story is like waiting for a crack addict, you spend ages waiting and then two come along at once!**

**Chapter 19 : His name is Fang**

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Byakuya stood up from his place on the futon and walked over to the door. Five minutes ago he thought he had heard someone in the garden and now he was positive someone was there. Why? Oh, just because of small matter of the large crash he had heard that had been shortly followed by a short 'umpf'. He slowly slid open the paper door that led onto his small private garden. He looked into the darkness outside. It must have been nearly four in the morning. The sun would be rising in an hour or two, but for now it was still dark.

Then he saw it; the crumpled mass of robes on the grass.

He sighed when he recognised who it was.

"What are you doing here?" he asked the bundle on the ground.

A head popped up and looked around wildly.

"Oh, hey there" they said happily. They tried to get up but only got themselves tangled in their own limbs and fell back onto the grass.

"You're drunk" Byakuya stated the obvious. His visitor smiled at him unconvincingly and again tried to stand up. This time they succeeded.

"Only a little" they said as they held one hand out and placed their thumb and forefinger together to show the amount of which they were drunk. They were a terrible liar.

"You shouldn't drink so much, Kya" Byakuya told her. Kya blinked.

"Well..." she started dramatically as she stepped forwards and started walking, or maybe stumbling is a better word, towards him. "...it all started one hundred and twenty nine years ago, when, as a younger woman, I decided to-"

She suddenly stopped and looked down at the ground.

"Feet are weird" she said airily.

If Kya had looked up from her feet-inspired pondering, she may have seen one corner of Byakuya's mouth rise up into a subtle smile. But she didn't. In fact, she remained looking at her feet and actually began to bend forwards to get a better look at them. She stopped just before her face hit the ground.

"Well, hello little footies, you're my friends aren't you?" she giggled while still entranced by the joys of her feet. "You need names. I know! I shall call you Leftie and you-"

"Rightie?" Byakuya's guess interrupted her speech. She looked up at him, grinning.

"Nooo, silly, his name is Fang!" she explained as if it were the most obvious thing in the world to name your foot Fang.

"Why is your foot male?" he asked.

"I dunno, it just is!" she said as she took another step towards Byakuya.. He knew he shouldn't be, but he had to admit he was a tiny bit amused at seeing Kya like this. She stopped again, punched her fist into the air and swung around on the spot.

"Take that society!" she shouted. Her spin resulted in her falling onto the ground again.

"Take what?" Byakuya asked, still standing by the door.

"Take what what?" Kya asked in return now thoroughly confused. She tilted her head to the side and looked up at him puzzlingly. He elegantly walked over to her and lent down.

"Come on, let's get you inside" he said gently before putting her arm around his shoulder and lifting her up off the ground. He walked her slowly towards the door and inside, something that would have been easier if Kya hadn't stopped to look at insignificant objects every other second. Well, he couldn't just leave her outside when she was like this, could he? Who knew what she would get up to?

"Oooo, look at the pretty pattern." She said while pointing at the white paper door. Byakuya led her over to his futon and sat her down. He kneeled opposite her on the floor.

"How much did you drink?" he asked her seriously.

"Why, thank you m'lady!" Kya yelled randomly. This was enough to make even Byakuya blink.

"What?"

Kya just sat there giggling like a lunatic. Byakuya noticed for the first time what she was holding.

"What's that?" he asked her. She blinked and he looked down at the object her hand.

"Oh, this? It's my special super-duper happy juice!" she answered joyfully. She held it up so he could see it. It was clearly a half finished bottle of sake. "Want some?"

"No" he said flatly. He took the bottle from Kya and placed it on the floor behind him.

"Ooooh! You're no fun!" she pouted. Byakuya sighed again.

"You really shouldn't drink so much" he told her. Kya sat there silent for a moment. Her face looked shocked but Byakuya knew it was really confusion.

Suddenly she poked him on the nose.

"What was that for?" he asked bemused.

"Your nose is funny." Kya explained before bursting into another giggle fit.

"You're still as odd as ever when drunk, I see." He said quietly.

"That's what I'm here for!" Kya responded, raising her arms in the air. Byakuya sat with a perplexed expression on his face. Kya interrupted his thoughts.

"Oooo, pretty fly-fly!" she exclaimed happily while gazing over Byakuya's shoulder. Byakuya looked and saw what this 'pretty fly-fly' actually was. A small black hell butterfly had just flown through the door. Kya crawled past him and started flapping her hands in the air crazily, trying to catch it. "Come down pretty fly-fly!"

Byakuya stood and put a hand on Kya's shoulder to calm her down. She looked up at him questioningly. Byakuya held out a finger and the fluttering creature, that had previously been trying to avoid Kya's wild swipes, landed gracefully.

_CAPTAIN KUCHIKI, PLEASE REPORT TO GENERAL YAMAMOTO'S OFFICE IMMEDIATELY._

What could Yamamoto want with him at this time of night?

Byakuya looked down at the strange woman that was in his room. Her arm was silently creeping towards the sake bottle, trying to grab it while he wasn't looking. He bent down and picked the bottle off the floor and out of Kya's reach. She looked up at him sheepishly before pouting again.

He had to leave. What was he going to do with her while he was gone? He couldn't just throw her out and hope she didn't burn down half of Soul Society. He knew that hoping that would be pointless.

She yawned sleepily.

There was only one thing he could do.

"Come on, Kya, you're tired-" he began before she cut him off.

"No I'm not! See?" she shouted before jumping up and trying to prove that she wasn't. She started doing star jumps, but only managed to complete one before tripping over her own feet and collapsing on the floor.

"Yes, you are." Byakuya said. "Now, come on, time for sleep"

He picked her up and led her by the arm over to his futon. He gently laid her down and to his surprise heard no complaints from Kya.

"Byakuya?" she asked. For the first time that night she sounded serious, albeit a little sluggish. He mumbled in response while tucking her beneath his sheets. When she didn't say anything he looked up.

"Yes?" he said. Her eyes were half closed and she was already drifting off into a drunken slumber.

"I love you" she muttered dreamily. Byakuya sighed.

"That's the sake talking, now go to sleep." He said quietly.

"No it's not, I know it isn't." Byakuya heard her whisper. His eyes widened slightly as he looked at her. He didn't need to say anything though; Kya was already asleep.

He blinked as he stood up and returned his usual solid expression to his face. He exited the room and made his way towards Yamamoto's office, Kya's words still revolving in his head.

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Kya woke to the gentle sound of birds singing. She snuggled up under the sheets with her eyes still closed and took in the warmth they exuded. She wished she could stay there, but knew that all too soon it would be time to get up.

Then she realised something. These weren't her sheets.

She immediately opened her eyes and sat up, only to grab her head at the splitting pain that had formed there. She groaned and looked around the familiar room. She knew it from somewhere, but from where she had no idea.

"What the-" she grumbled upon realising why this room was familiar. Her hand was still plastered firmly to her forehead. God, another hangover? "What the hell did I do last night?"

She scanned her brain, only to find nothing that explained her current situation. She remembered Shunsui yelling and then falling onto Nanao, and then at one point Hitsugaya hit Renji over the head with a bottle of sake, but not much else remained in her knowledge. She really should cut down on the drinking.

She suddenly thought of something and looked down at her body.

"Phew, at least I'm still clothed" she said to herself, relieved that that probably meant nothing _untoward _had happened in this room. Byakuya's room.

Now that led off onto a whole new sphere of questions. Why was she even in Byakuya's room, let alone his bed? What had happened last night? Where was Byakuya now?

She slowly stood up and again grumbled at the pain that went through her head. She gradually made her way over to one of the sliding doors in the room that she knew led out into the hallway of the Kuchiki place.

She stopped just before opening it. What if someone saw her leaving? Surely they'd assume something that Kya did not particularly want them to assume. Maybe she should go round through the garden.

She was still debating this matter when the door in front of her opened. She stepped back shocked at the sudden presence of Byakuya only five inches away.

"Good afternoon" he greeted.

"Oh, um, hey" she replied, not quite knowing what to say in a situation like this.

"Glad to see you finally awake" he said in that cold tone that he usually spoke in.

"Er, yeah..." Kya said in confusion. Well what was she meant to say? Oh, hi there, sorry about the whole fight thing, but by any chance did we have dirty sex last night? No, Kya decided that wasn't really the best thing to say. Instead she stepped aside and allowed Byakuya to enter. He did so and closed the door behind him.

"Um, Byakuya?" she finally gathered the courage to ask after it became apparent he wasn't going to say anything. He looked at her and she continued. "Well, I was kinda wondering what exactly happened last night?"

He looked down and Kya could swear she saw traces of a knowing smile on his face.

This was bad.

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**There you are, some more Byakuya fluff. Although it was hidden in the depths of random drunken comedy.**

**Meh.**

**Yeah, and the whole naming your foot thing, that's actually what a friend of mine did... but she wasn't drunk, and she didn't name it Fang. No, Fang used to be my pet fish, along with Hitler and Apocalypse. Apocalypse died first, then Fang, and Hitler outlived them all! I can now safely say that Hitler outlived the Apocalypse! But he's dead now as well... (btw naming my fish that does not mean I in any way support nazi opinions, coz I don't)**

**Reviews make the world jump. "O,,**

**that's a jumping earth in case you didn't get it**


	21. Explanations

**Not much happens in this chapter, a tad of Byakuya fluff, but mainly it's filler. Oh well.**

**Chapter 20 : Explanations**

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This was very bad.

"Byakuya, what the hell happened?" Kya repeated now terrified of the answer.

Byakuya looked up at Kya again and any traces of the knowing smile that might have been there were now gone.

"Nothing" he finally said. Kya blinked.

"What?" she asked in surprise.

"Nothing happened."

"Then why did I wake up in your bed?" she raised one eyebrow and gave Byakuya a questioning look.

"Because I found you sprawled on the grass of my garden laughing like you were on drugs. You had obviously drunk a considerable amount of alcohol." He stated. Kya looked off to the side and tried to remember. She did remember trees, maybe that was from Byakuya's garden. Then again, trees aren't something that can be restricted to one area. Those trees she remembered could have come from almost anywhere in Soul Society.

"That doesn't really answer my question." She said slowly.

"I suppose it doesn't." he replied. Oh, that was very informative, thank you Byakuya for your insightful account of what occurred last night. Kya didn't enjoy being teased, and she knew that was exactly what Byakuya was doing. It wasn't very nice.

"Well?" she asked trying once again to get the information she so wanted out of him. He turned around and walked towards the other side of the room and the door to the garden. He opened the door and stood there looking out. He was just trying to wind Kya up now, wasn't he? Well, he shouldn't.

"Byakuya, answer me!" she whined at his back. He glanced back at her.

"I couldn't leave you outside when you were like that. I'm still trying to forget the last time you were drunk in Seireitei alone. So I brought you inside." He explained. That gave Kya a bit more understanding, but still didn't really answer the question.

"Oh yeah, that was a fun night..." Kya mused as she remembered the time she had been drunk that Byakuya was referring to. She had brought panic onto Seireitei in less than three hours.

"Quite." He said while turning back to face the garden. Kya walked over to him.

"You know that still doesn't explain why I woke up in your room." She told him.

"I was called by Yamamoto to an urgent meeting. I did not want to leave you alone but you were tired, so I decided to let you sleep here while I was away." He finally revealed the answer Kya had been asking for. She sighed in relief that there hadn't been anything nasty going on. Of course Byakuya wouldn't kick her out while she was drunk. He knew far too well what she could do. And of course that meant the natural option for him was to let her stay here for the night. She guessed that after he got back he didn't particularly want to wake her. Another thing Byakuya knew far too well was how much Kya hated to be woken up. Once he had received a black eye that wouldn't go away for two weeks because he made the mistake of daring to disturb her slumber.

"Good, well, not good... you know what I mean." Kya said.

"It was actually quite amusing to see you so drunk." Byakuya added. Oh, Scheiβe.

"I didn't do anything... _weird_, did I?" she asked nervously.

"No, nothing out of the ordinary..." he said before adding "...where you're concerned"

"Oh, God." Kya exclaimed while rolling her eyes. Where she was concerned was not an expression she liked to hear. It meant she did in fact do something very weird, and it probably would have scared Byakuya to death if anyone other than Kya had been the one to do it. "What did I do?"

"You named your feet." Byakuya raised an eyebrow when he looked at her. It would have surprised Kya at seeing the show of confusion, if she didn't already know Byakuya could show emotion.

"Again?" she asked annoyed. Byakuya's eyebrow only remained raised. She sighed. "What are they called _now_?"

"Well, your left one's called Leftie-"

"I am so original." Kya interrupted him.

"-and your right one is called-" he continued before Kya interrupted him again.

"Rightie?" she asked assertively.

"No, his name is Fang." He told her. Kya's eyes narrowed to dots. Fang? Even for her, that was odd.

"Why is my foot male?" she asked after regaining her mind. One corner of Byakuya's mouth curled upwards. This was the exact same conversation they had had last night, only the roles were reversed.

"Dunno, it just is." Byakuya repeated what Kya had previously answered. Kya looked sceptically at Byakuya. He did not usually say words like 'dunno'; they were too common for him to utter. What was up with him today? He just seemed somehow more... open. That was the only way of putting it. He was being too open and wasn't holding back every trace of emotion like he did usually. It made Kya worry something had happened. After all, it was only a few days ago when they had had a major fight.

"Byakuya, are you feeling ok?" her voice showed her bewilderment at his new mood.

"Yes" he answered back in his usual cold voice. Well, that stopped that train of thought.

"Ok then." She said cautiously. "Um, I guess I'll just go then."

Kya turned and walked towards the other side of the room. She was about to reach out and touch the door when Byakuya's voice caused her to pause.

"You don't have to tell me yet, Kya," Kya turned her head and her eyes widened. Byakuya was still facing the garden and only his back was visible. "but when you're ready, do tell me. I need to know."

Kya instantly knew what he was talking about. He was talking about their argument by the pool. He was talking about the reason she had left.

She gulped and nodded her head, knowing Byakuya would be able to tell somehow. She slowly opened the door and exited the room, not saying a word.

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"Oh yeah, right, forgot about that..." Kya muttered to herself when she passed the table where the second task had taken place. She should count all the bottles some time and see who won. Maybe she'll do that after going back and having a shower.

She looked around the table. Zaraki was still slumped on the ground in a heap, as was Shunsui and Nanao. The others had all disappeared. Presumably they had woken up earlier today and headed back to their division. She suspected many had gone back to bed with splitting hangovers. Only a complete workaholic would go to their office today. Well, people like Mayuri who had excused themselves without being drunk would probably be working, but none of the others would be surely. It would be craziness when you could have a day off.

Then again, would Seireitei cope with most of their captains and lieutenants in bed for a day? They did basically run this place.

Kya dismissed the thought. Nah, it would be good for the squad to have a day off from being bossed around. Besides, that was what third seats were there for, wasn't it?

Kya made her way through the streets of Seireitei towards the first division headquarters and her room. The place did seem surprisingly quiet today. It must have been two in the afternoon, and yet it was like three in the morning; no one walked the streets or patrolled the area. They were probably all revelling in the idea of having a day not listening to orders and spending the time enjoying themselves. As the saying goes, when the domineering egocentric captain's away the submissive boring Shinigami will play, or something along those lines.

"Why aren't you working?" Kya suddenly heard a familiar calm voice speak from around a corner. She rounded it and sure enough there was Hitsugaya, speaking to some lower seated officers from his own division.

"Uh, Hitsugaya-Taicho, we thought, well, most of the other captains are having a sick day because of some dodgy meal or something, and we presumed you would be too, so, um, we..." one of the Shinigami blabbered. So that was what they were telling them, that it was some dodgy meal. Well, Kya guessed they couldn't exactly tell the truth that all the captains and lieutenants were being investigated to see if they were conspiring against Seireitei. That would surely bring chaos. Hitsugaya looked at his officer sternly.

"Thought you have the day off?" he finished the nervous man's sentence. The Shinigami looked at the ground. Oooo, Shiro-chan could be icy. "Well, I'm not having the day off, so you can get back to work now."

"Yessir!" the entire group spoke at once before bowing and rushing off, apparently to do whatever ordinary Shinigami did while in Seireitei.

Hitsugaya noticed Kya for the first time and rolled his eyes in dismay.

"God, not you..." he grumbled under his breath.

"It's a pleasure to see you too, Shiro-chan!" Kya spoke while walking over to the small white haired captain.

"Please stop calling me that." He told her. Kya shrugged and Hitsugaya knew that meant she wouldn't.

"I didn't expect to see you up and about with the amount you drunk last night." Kya commented. Hitsugaya's eyes narrowed.

"Someone's got to work" he said in a tone that sounded insulting to Kya, it was like he was going to say 'unlike you' at the end of the sentence. Kya decided to let it slide, knowing he was just tired and agitated from staying up so late the previous night.

"Is Matsumoto having the day off?" Kya instead asked.

"Yes, but I don't expect it'll make much difference to her usual work scheme." He sighed. Kya laughed slightly which surprised Hitsugaya. Was she being nice to him for once? It was odd. What was she planning on doing?

"What are you up to?" he asked sceptically.

"Huh? I'm not up to anything. Why would you think that?" she asked vaguely insulted by Hitsugaya's mistrust.

"Never mind, I've got work to do, so if you'll excuse me" he said while indicating that he needed to leave.

"Oh, yeah sure, see you later cap'in!" she waved to him as he walked away. Did she just address him by captain? Something was definitely wrong with her.

Kya stood in the street and rubbed her forehead. Damn, she had a headache. Maybe that was why she was being so nice to everyone this afternoon. Well, to everyone she had seen; which basically included Hitsugaya and Byakuya. Yeah, so she wasn't changing Seireitei with her overwhelming kindness, but being nice to Shiro-chan definitely was a change. She hadn't made a single snap about him in the entire minute of them talking. Hangover's made her weird.

She didn't like it.

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**I can walk! Well, limp anyway. I've just pulled a couple of muscles in my stomach and legs, but they're getting better. So I'll see you on Mon, M'lady Coconut!**

**Here's a bunny.**

**He wants you to review, don't you mister bunny? Yes he does. He'll be very angry if you don't and decide to go on a rampage and eat your favourite socks. So do it for the socks!**

--,.,--  
(- . -)  
.(o o).


	22. My Little Leptocephalus

**Mwahahahahaha! **

**Soz dunno why I said that.**

**I repeat the thing about the amount drunk by the captains. As they're Shinigami they need more to get drunk, ok? Anyway...**

**Chapter 21 : My little leptocephalus**

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Matsumoto stood nervously beside her captain inside the thirteenth division hall. She along with all the other captains and lieutenants had been called by Kya to the announcement of the results of the second task. It was the day after the day where only and few captains had been working and people were still recovering. Of course, she wasn't tired at all anymore, well, no more than usual. But she spotted several of the others yawning or rubbing their eyes. They should stay up more often.

Why was Matsumoto nervous? Because she just _had_ to win this task. It was practically designed with her in mind. No way could anyone beat her at drinking! It was what she was made for!

Kya was already half an hour late. She was always late to these meetings. Matsumoto guessed she didn't really see the point to rushing to meetings that she called. Kya was right; she really didn't need to hurry to something that couldn't even start if she wasn't there. It wasn't as if they could simply make up the results while she was absent.

Suddenly all light went out, which was odd considering there were plenty of windows in the room and it was midday.

Any chatter that had been there had instantly vanished. No one was worried about what could have turned out the lights. They already knew.

A spotlight flickered into action, shining down in the middle of the hall. There was a click and music came forth from one side of the room. It was dramatic choir music and made it sound like the end was nigh.

"And so the time came for those who had waited so long," a deep booming voice that sounded a little familiar echoed around the officers. There was a dramatic pause. "Thou shalt be judged!"

The centre of the floor that the light was shining on suddenly started twisting. Machinery was heard over the music as a small circle of flooring started to rise. A podium rose forth from the ground and people gasped.

"I didn't know we had one of those..." Matsumoto heard Joshiro muse to himself.

Upon the podium appeared what looked like a slab of stone. Matsumoto looked closer and she saw writing engraved on it. Maybe the end really was nigh.

The music stopped.

"Dammit." came the deep voice. Scuffling was heard from where the music had once been flowing from. "Why... oh you ghey... stupid mortal CD player, always breaking down..."

The lights flickered on. Matsumoto looked over to one side of the room and saw Byakuya standing, his finger still on the light switch. Black blinds were covering the windows.

On the other side of the room was a frustrated looking body crouched over some purple box that Matsumoto remembered from the real world. Kya looked up at them sheepishly.

"Oh, hey." Her voice was a lot deeper than usual and echoed around the room. She looked down and quickly removed the microphone that was attached to her ear. She laughed nervously and her voice was back to normal.

"So, how've you been?" she said in that sing song voice that she did when she didn't know what else to say.

People just stared questioningly at her. She sighed.

"Annoying piece of junk." She muttered as she kicked the purple box. The choir music started up again. Kya rolled her eyes and shouted at it. "Well, it's no use now!"

She pressed a button and the music stopped. She stood up straight and looked at the perplexed officers. You would have thought they had gotten use to Kya's ways by now.

"What was the purpose of that?" Zaraki asked.

"The purpose of what? Oh, you mean my little introduction? Didn't you like it? I thought it added a certain drama to the event." Kya waved her hand in the air as she stepped towards the podium which held the slab of rock.

"Well, it would have if it wasn't for crumby real world manufacturers!" she shouted at the box again.

"Purple-chan! It did create drama! It did!" Yachiru yelled happily as she jumped over to Kya, nodding ferociously.

"Why, thank you Yachiru, it's nice to know my work is so appreciated."

Yachiru scrambled up the side of Kya until she was sitting on her shoulders.

"Um, well ignoring that interruption, where was I?" she pondered with a finger to her chin. She clapped her hands together, shaking Yachiru a bit. "Oh, yes, I had just done the whole 'Thou shalt be judged!' thing, hadn't I? Well then, err, time for the results my ducklings!"

People blinked.

"Ducklings?" Hisagi asked. Kya smiled widely and nodded.

"Yes, you are all my ducklings!"

"Well, I'm not" Mayuri spoke up.

"Piglet?" Kya suggested as an alternative.

Mayuri's eyes narrowed.

"Lamb?"

Further narrowing.

"Kitten?"

More narrowing than Matsumoto thought was humanly possible.

"Leptocephalus?"

Mayuri's eyes opened again.

"What?" he asked.

"A baby eel, idiot. I thought you were meant to be the head of science or whatever?" Kya insulted. Mayuri's eyes once again returned to slits.

"Can we cut out the baby animals, already, and get on with announcing the results?" Hitsugaya said in almost a sigh.

"Well, of course Shiro-chan! I know how little patience children can have!" And she was back to insulting Hitsugaya again. He knew her kindness wouldn't last.

"The results are written here on this tablet." Kya indicated the stone on the podium. "They were first inscribed by a mystic enchanter two thousand years ago. The enchanter's name was Yokutimo. One morning he was sitting outside his mystic cave waiting for another mystic premonition to come from the mystic beyond. Suddenly, a bright light showed itself before his mystic eyes and his mystic mind knew it was another mystic view from his mystic gods. He greeted the light with a mystic sentence that no one knows the mystic words to and the light shone brighter. Words echoed through the mystic valley and the mystic man realised his mystic fate. He immediately climbed to the top of a mystic mountain and found the most mystic stone. He spent three mystic days carving a mystic tablet out of that mystic stone and soon-"

"Purple-chan, did the mystic man only know how to write in felt-tip?" Yachiru asked, interrupting Kya's story of the utmost mystic importance.

Kya looked up at Yachiru and saw that she was looking at the tablet on the podium. Others glanced at it. A few fell over when seeing that it was in fact written in blue felt-tip pen.

"Well, felt-tips were very sensible things to use in those days..." Kya tried to recover her story. No one was buying it.

"Yeah, so have a look and see where you came and the mystic enchanter's fate shall be mystically fulfilled!" she exclaimed.

People inched forwards nervously and peered at the words on the rock. It was a simple list, numbered one to twenty with the officer's positions of how they performed in the last task. Matsumoto scanned it carefully.

"What?" she shrieked in anger. "I only came fifth?"

"Sorry, Rangiku," Kya whispered to her, "I was sure you would win that one"

Matsumoto's mouth flapped open and shut like a goldfish as she gaped at the results. Everyone else's eyes also widened at reading it.

_GOTEI 13 FIRST CAPTAIN-LIEUTENANT DRINKING COMPETITION RESULTS_

_20) Hinamori Momo – one sip_

_19) Kuchiki Byakuya – one cup_

_18) Kotetsu Isane – half a bottle_

_17) Kira Izuru – one bottle_

_16) Kurotsuchi Nemu – two bottles_

_15) Kurotsuchi Mayuri – three bottles_

_14) Komamura Sajin – three and a half bottles_

_13) Ise Nanao – five bottles_

_12) Soifon – five and a half bottles_

_11) Omaeda Marechiyo – five and a half bottles and one sip_

_10) Iba Tetsuzaemon – six bottles_

_9) Unohana Retsu – six and a bit bottles_

_8) Hisagi Shuuhei – seven bottles_

_7) Ukitake Joshiro – seven and a half bottles_

_6) Abarai Renji – nine bottles_

_5) Matsumoto Rangiku – eleven bottles_

_4) Zaraki Kenpachi – eleven and a half bottles_

_3) Kyouraku Shunsui – twelve bottles_

_2) Kusajishi Yachiru – fifteen bottles_

_1) Hitsugaya Toushiro – fifteen and a bit bottles_

People blinked.

"What... the..." Renji said slowly.

"-Hell?" Hitsugaya finished.

"Taicho! Why didn't you tell me you were a drinker? We could have had so much fun together!" Matsumoto yelled excitedly at him.

"I'm not a drinker! And if I was I certainly wouldn't tell you for the exact reason you just stated!" he shouted back

"Little kids scare me these days..." Kya muttered.

"I'm not a little kid! And how the hell did I win? This is a fix I tell you!"

"Uh, shouldn't that be something a loser might say?" Renji asked

"Waahhhh!!! Ken-chan! I lost!" Yachiru jumped down from Kya's shoulder and climbed up to Zaraki's, where she started balling her eyes out.

"Aww, Yachiru it was only by a smidgen, you shouldn't be upset, after all, Shiro-chan just freezes any alcohol he drinks or something, how else could he drink so much?" Kya tried to consol her. It didn't work. The pink haired fiend just wailed louder.

Then she stopped.

Zaraki had shoved a lolly pop into her mouth and she instantly became happy again.

"Well done, Hitsugaya-Taicho, we'll make a fine man outa you yet!" Shunsui said while clapping the white-haired boy on the back.

"I don't want to be _your_ idea of a fine man..." he grumbled to himself. Shunsui just laughed.

"Anyway," Kya spoke up, "It's now time to present you with your prize!"

"Prize?" about five people said at once as everyone turned their heads to see her.

"Yep, oh, did I forget to mention that? Sorry." She walked over to the side of the room and picked up a massive crate. She brought it over to the group and everyone crowded round trying to get a peak. Hitsugaya stepped forwards.

"What is it?" he asked cautiously. He was sure any prize Kya would give would not be exactly suitable.

"Take a look and see!" she told him.

He warily lifted the lid of the crate. A large cloud of dust poured out. Hitsugaya heard Kya whisper to Matsumoto in the background.

"Like the dust? I added that for effect."

The dust cleared and people gasped again. They seemed to do that a lot. An anger mark appeared of Hitsugaya's forehead.

"Is this meant to be a prize?" he shouted at Kya.

"Yes, don't you like it?"

"No I don't like it!" he dug his hand into the crate and pulled out one of the many identical items within. He held the bottle of sake up to Kya's face.

"Well, I suppose I could take it back then..." Kya shrugged her shoulders as she said this.

"No!" Matsumoto, Shunsui and Zaraki yelled at the same time. Their eyes were wide.

"...or I could share it out between those who wanted some?" Kya added. The three nodded vigorously, wide smiles across their faces, something that made Zaraki even scarier.

"Fine, do whatever you want with it." Hitsugaya said while walking towards the door. He clearly wasn't interested in the generous prize Kya had provided. He left and Matsumoto, Shunsui, Zaraki, Renji, and Yachiru dove forwards to the box of dreams.

"Get your grubby mitts off my booze, Abarai!" Zaraki shouted as he tried to pry a bottle from Renji's clasp.

"No! You get yours off of mine!" he shouted back.

Zaraki narrowed his eyes and an evil glint entered them. Renji immediately let go and scurried to the other side of the room. He huddled up in the corner, now terrified of Zaraki's possible wrath.

"Alright, alright! Settle down! I'll share it out evenly!" Kya yelled over Matsumoto and Yachiru's argument over several bottles.

"Now who wants some?" she asked everybody.

Five hands immediately went up into the air. Kya ushered the others out of the room and then tried to divide the bottles up into five even piles. Although, it was quite difficult with the insistent shouting that was coming from the five in the background. Shunsui said he deserved more than Yachiru because he was bigger. Then Yachiru had bitten his hand and was still clinging on when he was running around the room trying to shake her off. Renji had recovered from his scare-fit and was screaming at Matsumoto who was screaming in return. Zaraki was ignoring Shunsui's desperate cries for him to control his lieutenant and was instead watching Kya carefully, making sure she was being fair.

God, Shinigami can be greedy bastards.

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**This one was just dragging on, so I had to cut it there otherwise it wouldn't ever have an ending.**

**Ginnieeee!!! Come baaack!! **

**I know, another random comment, but I really do want Gin to come back, coz he is awesomeness with his awesome smile and awesome eyes and awesome hair. On a fitness level, he come close third to Byakuya and Urahara. Byakuya makes me scream, Urahara makes me squeal, and Gin makes me giggle. Mayuri unmasked makes me sigh, especially if he wore a suit Rhea.**

**Why the eff did I include that? I hav no idea.**

**Review?**

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/l l\  
(o.o)  
-O O-


	23. Killer Kangaroos

**This one really aint spectacular, but I thought updating something would be better than nothing when I've got tonnes of homework.**

**Chapter 22 : Killer kangaroos**

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"Well, may I take this opportunity to tell you all how nice it is to see you again?" Kya addressed the room of anxious Shinigami.

It was the dawning of the third task. Kya hadn't wasted any time in setting it up after the results of the last one and it was the next day. Actually, day hadn't technically come yet. It was three in the morning and the sun hadn't risen yet. Why Kya had chosen to wake everyone up and call them for the task at this god forsaken hour, no one knew. She seemed just as awake as ever, something that stood out like a sore thumb in the midst of yawning and sleepy-eyed captains and lieutenants.

"What's up with everyone today? Why so lifeless?" she asked them.

A few mumbled in response but no definite answer was heard.

"Oh, is it because of the time? Well then you should stay up late more often. I, for example, shouldn't be going to sleep for another two hours, and now I'm perfectly fine! Meanwhile, those of you who find it necessary to go to bed at reasonable hours are now exhausted. You should learn a lesson from that!"

More mumbling was heard as an answer. Kya sighed.

She walked off to the side of the room and picked something off the floor.

People suddenly jumped up fully alert when she sounded the loud sports horn. It was almost deafening and yet Kya didn't flinch.

"There? You awake now?" she shouted at everyone.

"Yeeeaaas..." eighteen people said slowly.

Kya nodded and was about to put the horn down on the ground when she noticed something.

She walked over to one of the lieutenants and blasted the thing right in their ear.

Matsumoto immediately woke up and looked startled.

"Wha-"

"Good, now we can continue!" Kya yelled at the entire group as if she was an army general. They stood up straighter and opened their eyes wide to stop them from closing in sleep. "As you can see, I've been busy setting up this task since the last time I saw you, and now after waiting for almost fourteen horrendous hours, I am finally able to reveal it!"

She walked over to one of the tables that had been placed to the side of the room. As it had been with the other tasks, a large white sheet was covering it. However, the objects underneath did not appear to be that oddly shaped. It looked as if there were twenty small square shaped objects and the rest of the table was bare. The officers each realised that those square shaped objects were going to be a factual representation of all their nightmares combined into a box. What those nightmares were was something they were completely oblivious to.

"Now," Kya started again, "for this task I'm going to set you a challenge, you will have one hour to complete it. In this one failure is unacceptable! And the task is..."

Kya quickly whisked the sheets off of each of the two tables. People blinked and looked confused. The square objects that they had previously thought to be boxes of nightmares were no more than packets of coloured paper.

"...Origami!" Kya finished. "Now, I know what you're thinking, that surely origami has nothing to do with leadership or loyalty. But that's where you're wrong!"

She looked into the distance and put a hand to her chest, looking as if she was about to tell them of the most precious information they would ever hear.

"Origami is a tradition that has been passed on through generations of Japanese families! Those good decent citizens that originally came up with the idea are some of the best-loved heroes of our land! Anyone that cannot complete a simple shape is surely someone that does not appreciate the honour that paper folding can bring one! And if one does not appreciate that, then how are they meant to appreciate the responsibility that comes with their rank? They can't! And so this test is a matter of duty not only to your positions, but also our very nation!"

No one had eyes left after that speech. Surely Kya wasn't serious? Origami being a duty to their nations? That was just silliness.

Kya looked back at the officers.

"Also, since any normal person can do origami easily, if you can't then you must have other things on your mind. And I've come to the conclusion that those things must be plans to take over the world."

This didn't help their eye situation.

Kya waved her hand in front of them slowly and watched their faces. A few obtained their eyes again, but mostly they just stayed still.

"Ahhhh!!! The rabid killer kangaroo is attacking! Run for your lives!" Kya suddenly shouted.

People blinked and their eyes returned, now wide.

"Where?" Matsumoto shouted as she started to panic. She looked around the room, realised there was no threat of a rabid killer kangaroo bursting into the room and punching people's head off, and slumped down sheepishly. People looked at her oddly.

"So, onto the rules," Kya continued as if nothing had happened. "As I've previously said, you have one hour. In that one hour you will have to create as many of the specified figurine as you can. The winner will be whoever creates the most in that time. As it's only an hour, I'll be in the room at all times. And now for the specified figure..."

Kya grabbed a piece of paper off the table, turned around so her back was to the Shinigami and started doing some weird movements. After a second of smoke pouring out of where they supposed her hands were, she turned back and smugly held out what she had made. A small delicate flower sat in the palm of her hands. Shunsui started clapping.

"Well done! Beautiful!" he cheered.

Kya bowed in response.

"Thank you, thank you." She told them all. They just stared at her. They didn't even know how to make that thing. This task was physically impossible!

"And I now announce the commencing of the third task to be open... now!" she shouted. A few people scrambled over each other and made for their places at the tables. Some just calmly walked over. Most just stood there.

"You've only got an hour, you know?" Kya asked those that hadn't moved. They all slowly made their way to the tables. Gradually they started fiddling with the paper in front of them. Most of them were just folding it any way that came to mind, no idea how to make the flower Kya had shown them. They were all looking at what the others were doing, seeing if they knew how to make it. After a while a few started to get it. As soon as they realised they were on the right track, they immediately hid their work with their arms, not wanting to give the secret away.

It was ten minutes in when Kya addressed them again.

"Oh yeah, seeing as my logic never fails me, if anyone fails to make a single flower, then I will have concluded that they are definitely plotting against Seireitei, therefore they'll be immediately arrested and taken away for execution."

"What?" most of the officers yelled at once.

"Yep, that's how it swings." Kya told them.

"But- but-"

Protests came to life around the room. How could not being able to make a bloody flower be the cause of them being executed?

"No complaints!" Kya shouted over the objections, "My decisions are final!"

The complaints quietened. Suddenly everyone had found a new interest in completing this task. Kya wasn't someone they could trust about things like this. They severely suspected she was being serious about the execution thing. It certainly was not beyond her warped mind to do something like that, and Yamamoto surely wouldn't doubt her conclusions. They all knew of the persuading techniques Kya held.

Stupid woman with her twisted ideas.

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**Quite short this time.**

**Thanks to MarisLily for her idea about the origami thing. Its brilliaaannt!!! (watch the fast show if you don't get it) So dank!**

**You know the rabid killer kangaroo bursting into the room and punching people's head off thing is what I think about in History class. Actually it's how I'd react if a rabid killer kangaroo burst into the room and started punching people's heads off and how I'd survive. Hey! It's better than learning! I told my history buddy, Michellio, bout it and she just looked at me strangely. I asked her how she'd survive and she said she'd just say something or whatever and I told her she was now dead. That proves it's a very useful thing to think about!**

**Reviews are too kool for skool, unlike the fool in your pool!**

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/l l\  
(O .O)  



	24. Eating Paper

**I've got a teacher training day today, so no school! ****Yay! ****Or not.**** I can't go out coz I literally have £2 to last me for the rest of the month. That sucks. What can I do with £2? I'm always broke and it's bleeping annoying. Oh well, enough of my ramblings.**

**Chapter ****23 :****Eating paper**

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Renji struggled with the square origami paper in front of him. He had been trying to grasp the concept of how to make a flower for half an hour now and so far the closest he had got was a scrunched up ball with corners sticking out. That meant the task was half way through. Only another half an hour to complete one flower, otherwise that's it, off to the execution room for him. Why did he have to make this stupid thing? It was idiocy that this was considered a serious task. Only someone like Kya could believe that origami could determine whether you were loyal or not. Kya thought the strangest things.

The paper ripped in half.

"Argh!" Renji exclaimed as he through the paper onto the growing pile behind him. He hit his head down on the table, struggling not to burst out into tears at his defeat. He hated origami.

He lifted his head up again and glared at the pile of paper on the table. It had seriously depleted during the task and only a quarter was left. He wondered if Kya would be generous enough to provide more if he ran out before he had completed a flower. He severely doubted it.

Trying to be subtle he glanced at what his captain was doing beside him. He had been able to make the delicate flower on the first attempt. Renji guessed that folding paper into strange shapes was just something nobles had to learn while growing up. However, trying to steal what Byakuya was doing did not work.

Before Byakuya was one simple elegant flower. The rest of the table was bare.

Byakuya was sitting upright in his chair and looking directly forward.

Renji knew that his captain thought these tasks had some meaning, he had told Renji that after getting thoroughly annoyed at his lieutenant's constant complaining about the first one, but Renji also knew that Byakuya believed that winning them held no purpose. He had done what it took for him to show that he could, and then stopped. Renji wished he could do that, but oh no, he had to be stuck with crumby hands that couldn't even fold a napkin.

Renji sighed as he picked up a piece of orange paper and started folding.

Maybe if he bent this that way, and that this way.

He unfolded it when it turned into another blob of nothingness and started again.

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"And voila! Aren't I truly a master of beauty?"

Nanao looked over at her captain. A large pile of paper flowers were placed on the table in front of him.

"No" she answered plainly. Why was he finding this so easy when she was having so much difficulty? Why was she having so much difficulty, for that matter? She should be able to work this out; it was just a few folds.

"Oh, Nanao! Don't say such things to your precious captain!" Shunsui said happily.

Nanao reached down to the floor under her chair. With one swift movement she brought the book up and slammed it on his head. This was the real reason she carried the book around. It wasn't because, as most people thought, she enjoyed reading it. It was because it was the most useful thing she had to hit her captain with. And he needed hitting a lot.

Shunsui clutched his head where Nanao had hit him and pouted.

She just hit him again.

He got the message and went back to making the perfectly formed flowers.

Nanao could just look over, take a peek at what he was doing, and then would be able to pass this task without flaw. She had to stop herself. No, that would be against the rules, she had to figure this out for herself.

She folded the paper and sighed when she saw what she had done. She had successfully transformed the paper into a small swan. She placed it to the side where it sat with about fifty other swans.

No matter how hard she tried the paper always turned out the same way. Even if she tried folding it in different ways it seemed to turn into a swan. Shouldn't that be impossible? Well, apparently it wasn't.

She looked up at the clock on the wall.

Only twenty minutes left.

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Hitsugaya looked up from the paper strewn table. This task was another creative one, and everyone knew from the first task how hard he found those. He just wasn't made for origami or dress making or drawing or anything else to do with artistic skills. In his mind there wasn't room for those things, he had enough on his plate with all his work, as well as making sure Matsumoto didn't inadvertently kill him with her giant breasts. Besides, he was still tired from being woken up so early. He suspected that was just another part of this task, Kya just wanted to make it harder for them, so had chosen the most inconvenient time possible.

He shifted his gaze to the people around him. To his right sat Matsumoto. Well, maybe sat wasn't the best word. She was more accurately slumped across the table, asleep. What was up with her sleeping so much? He noticed that she hadn't made a flower yet. Again, he had tried to wake her up only to be threatened by Kya. Did she really want Matsumoto to sleep through every task? She had said that she didn't want anyone to disturb her little Rangiku, but honestly, shouldn't she be trying to help her then.

Hitsugaya looked to his left. Yachiru didn't seem to quite grasp the concept of origami. Instead of folding the paper into shapes, she had drawn a flower on the white side of the paper in crayon. After finishing scribbling on all of her own paper she had started to use Zaraki's. He didn't seem to mind. He was having enough trouble trying to make the delicate flower to bother with his lieutenant. A minute ago Yachiru seemed to get tired of drawing and was now instead half way through eating a purple sheet. Hitsugaya would have told her that it wasn't good for her, if he wasn't scared Zaraki would think he was telling her off and try to murder him.

He only had ten more minutes to at least create one flower.

He folded the paper this way and that way, but only succeeded in scrunching it up into balls of goop.

People around him felt the temperature drop a few degrees.

Ahhh! This was hopeless.

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The annoying buzzing noise continued.

"Meh, go away..." Kya muttered with her eyes shut. The noise didn't go away. Stupid whatever-it-was waking her up, when she found out what it was it was in for a bit of a shock.

Groggily she opened her eyes and looked towards where the sound was coming from. Her hand involuntarily reached out and threw the annoying object against the wall. The egg timer shattered, causing the buzzing to dim until it was finally silenced.

Kya sat up in her chair and stretched. That was one good sleep.

She blinked when she realised where she was.

Thirty eight not so happy eyes were staring back at her. She jumped up.

"Ok, everyone, time's up!" she told them as if nothing had happened and she hadn't fallen asleep. Most people just glared at her. They were not pleased that she had woken them up for the task just to have her fall asleep half way through. Of course, none of them had dared to wake her; they knew how temperamental she could be.

"Everybody step away from the table! No more origami! If you haven't made any by now, it's too late!" she practically shouted in excitement. "Um... Rangiku?"

She looked at her still sleeping friend.

"Rangiku!" she yelled. Matsumoto sat up.

"I'm awake!" she screamed wide-eyed. Kya sighed.

"The task's over" she told her.

"Oh, ok" Matsumoto seemed completely unbothered that she hadn't made a single flower and walked towards the other Shinigami that had now assembled on the other side of the room.

"Anyway..." Kya said as she drew out a clipboard from nowhere, "I'm gonna count up what each of you have made now, and remember, anyone who couldn't make any now has their time in this world severely limited"

Half the officers gulped. Kya walked over to the table and started counting.

They stood nervously, watching, and internally praying that Kya would give up on her plan to execute them.

After all, this task really had not been fair.

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**Another short one for ****ya!**** There'll be Byakuya in the next one, at least I think there will be, ****it**** depends on how long I make the results.**

**Aww****! Poor bunny, he fell! At least now he can't eat your socks, but for how long? ****Mwahahaha**

**Review or he will... when he wakes up.**

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/l l\  
n-(# . #)-n


	25. Nitrifying Bacteria

**Why aren't you at school, M'lady?! Why?! Why?! Answer me, dammit!**

**Chapter 24 : Nitrifying bacteria**

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Kya glanced down at the clipboard in her hands. She was wearing the unnecessary reading glasses again to make an impact. She tutted and shook her head in disappointment.

"Hmm, well I have to say I'm extremely disappointed in some of you. You've let your division down, you've let Seireitei down, but most of all, you've let yourselves down." She addressed the terrified looking Shinigami before her.

"There is a clear winner, however, congratulations Unohana! You made seventy four flowers!" Unohana smiled politely. Others glared at her. Stupid woman with her hands that were used to doing intricate things. Why couldn't they have been healing people?

"Second is Shunsui with sixty three! Well done Shunsui!"

"Thank you Kya! I know I am the master at making boring things such as paper or plain-looking women blossom into beautiful flowers!" Shunsui boasted. He stopped looking so happy though when a large book landed on his head.

"Of course you are Shunsui!" Kya agreed. She continued to read off from her list "Third was Joshiro with fifty nine, forth was Nemu with forty five, and a close fifth was Mayuri with forty four, sixth was Kira with twenty two, seventh was Isane with nineteen, and eighth was Momo with seventeen."

She stopped and looked up at the group.

"I congratulate those eight!" her expression changed to one of dissatisfaction, "the rest of you, however, I am not pleased with. Ninth was Iba who managed three, a poor attempt I may say, and tenth was Byakuya, who, despite being perfectly capable of making the flowers, chose to stop after completing one. That shows a blatant lack of effort, Byakuya, one that will not go unnoticed."

A dangerous glint entered Kya's eyes. The group shrunk away slightly.

"And, of course, that means the rest of you failed to make any!" her voice held a tone of menace. The ten remaining officers gulped. Could she be serious?

"And you know what that means don't you?" Kya smiled evilly.

"Noooo! Purple-chan! You can't execute me! I'm your bestest friend!" Yachiru cried as she rushed forward and clung onto one of Kya's leg. Kya blinked.

"Whoever said anything about execution?" she asked back in her normal voice. "I mean, don't you think that's taking things a bit far?"

People fell over.

Kya started laughing.

"Wait, don't tell me you thought I was serious about that!" her laughter only increased when she was met with blank faces. She bent forwards and clutched at her stomach.

"You- you actually believed me?" she gasped between mocking laughs "My God, you really are dense! That was only a joke! And you thought I was really going to execute you!"

She was confronted with ten angry glares. She managed to hold back some of the laughter and stand up straight again.

"Hold on, you believed that and yet still didn't have the motivation to make any of the flowers? Wow, maybe next time I will actually have to kill you..." she almost mused. Zaraki stepped forwards.

"Why you-"

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Escaping Zaraki had been easy. All Kya had to do was hold Yachiru up in front of her face and use the small orb of pink as a shield and Zaraki had immediately backed down. After that Kya had run out of the room to avoid attacks from any other angry Shinigami that may not be stopped by the living-Yachiru-shield. She hadn't seen any of the captains or lieutenants since then. Not that she had been avoiding them; she just didn't happen to bump into any. It had only been a day after all, not like a year or anything.

She was currently sitting on the grass in the public garden of Seireitei again. She found this place soothing. It must have been the enclosed nature of the garden; that there were so many small separate areas that hardly anyone visited. She was the only person in this area. It was early morning, about five o'clock, and not many people would be up yet. She herself hadn't gone to bed yet. She just wasn't tired. Maybe all that sleeping during the task had been enough for her to live off. She had been sitting there for hours now, just thinking. About what? Well, any thoughts Kya could have would be far too complex to even begin describing.

Suddenly she became aware of something; she was not alone.

She turned he head and stared at the gravel path someone was walking up. She was not surprised when a familiar face entered the clearing.

"Hey" she greeted them. Byakuya stopped and looked at her.

"Good morning" he replied.

"Is it? It seems the same as any other to me..." she said thoughtfully as she turned back around. She heard Byakuya's gentle steps as he walked forwards towards her across the grass.

"Well, that may be true" he sounded as calm as ever as he stood next to Kya and looked out over the grass as she was doing.

"Of course it is, everything's always the same here" she sighed. Byakuya glanced down at her and saw that she was completely serious. She must have been finding it difficult having to stay here so long. Byakuya knew how dull she found it. She was the type of person that wanted to do things, not sit around planning stupid tasks all day. Last time people knew she was here she would leave every once in a while, either on missions or just to escape. Now she couldn't do that though. It must have been killing her.

She turned her head up to face Byakuya. A small smile crossed her lips.

"You gonna sit down or just stand there like a bare-assed monkey-face?" she asked jokingly. Byakuya raised an eyebrow at her strange insult, but nevertheless sat down next to Kya.

Neither of them spoke for a minute. They just sat and took in the peaceful silence.

"I have to admit, Byakuya, I didn't expect to see you here. Shouldn't you be doing some random noble stuff that only nobility does?" Kya broke the silence.

"I needed a walk" he answered simply.

"Oh, well, ok I guess" Kya didn't really know how to respond to that. Talking to Byakuya now seemed a bit difficult. He was just so serious and unvoiced. No one could get through that shell anymore, even Kya. She finally found something to say "Why?"

"I needed to clear my head" Byakuya answered truthfully.

"From what?" Kya looked at Byakuya curiously. What could be going on in that enclosed mind of his? She used to be able to tell what he was thinking so easily, but now it was almost impossible.

"From lots of things." Informative as ever, Byakuya.

"Fine, don't tell me" Her voice sounded slightly frustrated. Byakuya turned to face her. She just stuck her tongue out at him. Byakuya couldn't help but let one edge of his month rise up into a tiny smile.

"You are so like a child sometimes" he said as he shook his head slightly.

"I know! Isn't it great?" she replied happily. Again the corner of his mouth twitched.

"Oh, come on Byakuya, just smiiile!" she teased. Byakuya returned his solemn expression to his face. He would not be told to smile by this woman. Nope, he would not smile, never.

Kya went crossed eyed and licked the tip of her own nose.

She would have to do better than that, it wasn't even funny.

"You know apricots?" she suddenly asked in a serious voice

"Yes"

"Why are they called apricots?" she tilted her head and looked at him quizzically.

"I don't know"

"Nitrifying bacteria are like... woah..." she blurt out randomly. No, no, no, he would not give in to her feeble attempts at making him smile.

"Are they?" he asked just as seriously. This was just a competition now to see who would crack first.

"Yeah, they like make stuff grow and stuff..." she was sounding like some surfer dude now. The effect was kind of ruined by her talking about a complicated biological system.

"I suppose they do" he replied. Kya pouted as she looked down at the ground. It looked as if Byakuya had won the battle of wills.

It was two minutes later when Kya next spoke.

"I wish I was a spork"

Dammit, that was just too much. Both corners of Byakuya's lips curved upwards. Kya started laughing when she realised she had won. Byakuya quickly got his smile under control and returned to his usual cold stare, although now he was slightly glaring at the annoying Shinigami next to him.

Kya finally stopped laughing.

"You're sooo cuuuute!" she squealed. She tried to pull his cheek but only succeeded in getting her arm caught in his hand's grasp. She tried to pinch his other cheek with her other hand. Again Byakuya caught it in his own. Kya stared into Byakuya's eyes as he held onto both her wrists. She pouted.

"Let go, you meeaaaniiieee!" she squealed.

Byakuya didn't.

"I'll call rape!" Kya threatened.

Again Byakuya didn't remove his grasp.

"Fine then, maybe I'll just have to force them from you..." her voice turned to that of seduction. She leant forwards and pushed out her chest. Byakuya's eyes widened in shock and his grip loosened.

Kya pulled her hands away.

"Thank you!" she said back in her happy voice while sitting upright again.

Byakuya's eyes remained wide.

For a second there he actually thought Kya was about to kiss him.

And the scary thing was, for one fleeting second, he thought he was going to kiss her back.

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**Ahhhh!!! Fluffy fluff fluff!!!**

**Anyway, I had another talk with Michellio yesterday about the rabid killer kangaroo. This time she suggested punching it back, but naturally that would result in it eating her face. Rhea also tried to answer my question, she said she'd shoot it. Then I pointed out that she doesn't have a gun, so scraps to that idea. And of course that means that the mighty question is still unanswered! Please help me discover what I should do if a rabid killer kangaroo burst into the room and stated punching people's heads off! I honestly am worried about it!  
**

**Rabbit no likey those purple pikies...**

/l l\  
( ovo )  
U U


	26. Memories

**Get well soon, M'lady!**

**This one continues straight on from the last one, k?**

**Chapter 25 : Memories**

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"I noticed you still remember how to make those flowers" Kya almost asked. Byakuya shook the unnerving thoughts from his mind and returned his attention to the conversation.

"Yes" he replied.

"Remember when I first told you how? You spent three hours trying to get it right," Kya laughed, "you could have given up at any time, but, oh no, you're male pride wouldn't let you do that, would it?"

"I did not spend three hours" Byakuya's voice sounded slightly annoyed at Kya's mocking.

"Oh really? I could have sworn I timed you!" Kya teased him. Byakuya's eyes narrowed slightly. Kya just laughed at him. "I remember I tried to get you to give up but you wouldn't until you had perfected the art of folding paper into dainty flowers!"

Byakuya just glared at the laughing women in front of him. Finally she stopped and her expression changed to one of sombre.

"Everything was easier back then..." she suddenly said seriously.

"It didn't have to get harder" Byakuya told her. Kya sighed and gave him a look that said 'don't start that up again'. He looked away.

"Byakuya, I-" Kya stopped mid-sentence. How could she explain this after so long? And would Byakuya even understand? He'd most likely just go off on a shredding rampage with Senbonzakura. No paper would be safe from his shredding power!

"Ok" Kya suddenly said decisively. Byakuya turned back to her and looked a bit confused.

"Ok what?" he asked

"Ok, I'll tell you what happened" Her voice was struggling to remain even. Byakuya blinked and stared at Kya. She gulped.

"Really?"

"Oh, don't give me an opportunity to change my mind!" Kya pleaded as she rolled her eyes. Byakuya didn't respond to her attempt at lightening the mood. She always did that when she was nervous. The only way to stop her was to completely ignore it. A look appeared on her face that was somewhere between anxiousness and sorrow. She turned her head towards the ground and didn't look up. A few strands of purple hair fell in front of her face.

"You were just a kid back then" She spoke after five minutes.

"I had lived far longer than any human?" Byakuya questioned. Kya remained looking down.

"But compared to me you were just a kid, you were naïve, you didn't see what was happening in front of your own eyes." Kya's voice was soft and held a hint of remorse. Byakuya didn't say anything. He had no idea what she was talking about but didn't ask about it. He just waited for Kya to explain what exactly it was that he didn't see all those years ago.

"Some people didn't want us to be together." She stated plainly.

"I already knew that, actually I believe I was the one who first told you about it" Byakuya heard Kya let out a sad laugh as she lifted her head up and stared at the sky. Strands of hair were still in her face but she didn't seem to care. She gazed up at the orange tinted morning sky. Byakuya couldn't see her expression clearly but knew that she was finding this difficult.

"No, you were the one who first told me that they had approached you about it. I knew they didn't want us associating long before that."

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked. Kya looked at him again while she answered his question with another.

"Would it have made any difference?" Byakuya furrowed his eyebrows somewhat and Kya looked back upwards. "Exactly"

Another silence swept over the pair in the empty garden. Byakuya thought about asking Kya one of the multiple questions in his minds, but held it back knowing how pressing her wouldn't get him anywhere. She needed to find the answers herself.

"It was mainly the people that were connected to your family, the lesser nobility and the some of the servants. They didn't want you to become close to me. You didn't notice it, but it was there from the start of our friendship; the resentful glances, the hushed whispers. When we started dating it was just too much for them. Their precious little Kuchiki couldn't possibly be interested in someone like me. To them I was either a nobody or someone that couldn't be trusted; the head of the Kuchiki clan could never fall for someone like that." She started explaining. Not once did she avert her gaze from the sky overhead.

Her voice had been quiet and Byakuya heard no trace of hatred towards those people who hadn't liked her. He thought back to what she had said about them disliking what they didn't understand. At the time Byakuya had found it difficult to comprehend why they didn't understand her, but now he saw it. She was so complex, not only in how she acted, but in her unknown past and what her job involved. She was a complete mystery; of course they didn't understand her.

"Your head house maid was the first one to actually confront me about it. It was a few months after our relationship scandal had emerged. It was obvious at the time that she had been holding in what she thought for quite some time. Finally she snapped..."

_---_

_"What do you think you're doing?" Kya turned at the presence of the new voice. One of the Kuchiki servants stood in front of her. She was old and had spent her entire afterlife working for them._

_"Trying to find a pen?" Kya replied questioningly as she turned back towards the drawers she was looking through._

_"Just because you have the master's favour does not mean you have the authority to search through his possessions." She almost snapped at Kya. Kya turned around to face her again._

_"What do you want? It's blatant that you didn't want to just tell me off for looking through a couple of drawers."_

_"Nothing" the maid quickly replied before turning on her heels._

_"Good, maybe then you'll stop constantly pestering me?" Kya's words caused the servant to rotate on the spot and stare daggers at her._

_"You do know what you've done don't you?" she asked angrily._

_"No, not really..." Kya said dismissively, she really wasn't interested in what this woman had to say. She knew how much she disliked her and was sure that whatever she would tell Kya would not be nice._

_"You alone are causing the reputation that this family has worked so hard for to crumble in an instant." _

_"Really? Wow, I work quickly don't I?" Kya mocked. The woman didn't seem to appreciate Kya's sense of humour._

_"You've heard the rumours, haven't you? You know what you're doing and yet don't care. You're despicable." She spat_

_"What rumours?" Kya asked only half interested. She had heard all the rumours, and no, she didn't care. She was only vaguely concerned with what this woman found so despicable._

_"The rumours that you've... you've..." her voice changed to a whisper as if even uttering this was wrong, "... bedded him"_

_"What? Oh, you mean we've f-"_

_The maid put her hands to her ears and started singing loudly to block out anything improper Kya might say. Kya stifled her laughter. The woman put her hands down and just continued to glare._

_"You are not married!" she hissed_

_"Well, yeah, we're not..." Kya stated._

_"Do you know how unseemly it is for you to do... _that..._ while still unmarried? For someone of Kuchiki-sama's position it is truly unacceptable." The maid was completely furious now and it showed in her hissing whispers._

_"Woah, chill out a bit-"_

_"I will not chill out! You must marry him immediately! Immediately, I say!" Kya wondered if this person had mental issues. She would have to if this was how she spoke to people on a day to day basis. She was clearly a control freak that was dropped on her head as a child._

_"Ok, firstly, I don't want to marry him, marriage just isn't something I'm interested in. Secondly, calm down for eff's sake! And thirdly, even if you somehow forced us into the idea, it still wouldn't work. You see, legally, I don't exist. There are no documents anywhere with my name on. And so marrying me is physically impossible, you can't exactly marry someone who's not real, can you?" Kya said slowly so that the crazy lady didn't explode._

_"Then you will disappear! You can't stay here when you are unmarried!"_

_Kya just sighed, turned, and walked away._

_Byakuya needed new servants._

_---_

"-but don't worry I didn't leave just because some bloody insane woman told me to, that would just make me as insane as her." Kya let out a laugh at the thought of the woman's lack of sense. "Besides, that was years before I left."

Byakuya had let Kya tell him the story without interruption, despite the many thoughts that came to mind. Most of them were about how insolent and ridiculous his maid has been. Not once had Kya looked down from the sky. Byakuya guessed that she found it easier than having to look at him.

"Then why did you?" he finally spoke up.

"There were others" she stated. It was moments later when she elaborated. "Others that didn't like our relationship. That's where your naivety comes in. You only saw those people who were happy for us, as most people were, but you chose to ignore those who weren't. There weren't just those that were concerned about your social status, though. Those people had no real influence over anything. It was the others that mattered."

This confused Byakuya. Of course he saw that some people weren't happy about them, it was obvious. Nobles from other families had asked him about it several times. But what was this about people that had influence? Kya didn't consider anybody to really have influence over her. The only people she had to look up to were-

"The Central 46 Chambers?" he asked now fully confused about what Kya was saying. Her silence was all he needed to know that he was right. "Why?"

Kya smiled gently as she finally looked at Byakuya. Despite her smile Byakuya could see the hurt in her eyes.

"It affected my work." She forced herself to say. Byakuya's eyes widened faintly. She looked back down to the ground. Byakuya couldn't see her face through the wave of hair that fell in front of it, but guessed she was struggling to hold back tears at some unknown memory. "I was refusing more missions than ever, not wanting to leave, and when I did accept I would rush them and not get the job done properly. For once I wanted to stay here. I wanted to stay by your side, not go off somewhere for months on end. The Central 46 Chambers saw this and were not pleased. They guessed it was because of you and therefore turned their attention to you, to how to get rid of you."

The pain in Kya's voice did not go unnoticed, as did the small droplet that fell from behind her mask of hair to the ground.

"Kya?" Byakuya said quietly. She looked up, shook her head and wiped her eyes. Byakuya saw that she was trying desperately not to break. It was heart-breaking to watch.

"One morning they called me in to brief me on a new assignment, they said this one was compulsory and that I couldn't refuse. So I went. I'd done assassination work before for them, but only in cases where I thought it was necessary, I didn't like killing needlessly. A life is a life no matter how they choose to spend it. Yeah, sometimes the bastards deserve to die, but usually the problem can be solved by other ways, you know? Killing someone unnecessarily is the worst thing someone can do, it's horrible."

Byakuya's eyes widened fully when he realised what Kya was trying to tell him behind her ramblings.

"What?" he asked in shock. He never knew they would do something like this. Kya shrugged forlornly when she next spoke.

"My mission... was to kill you"

Even though Byakuya knew that was coming it still took him off guard. He sat back and, possibly for the first time in fifty years, he gasped.

"Of course I could never do that and I told them straight up, but then they said they would just create some story about you plotting against Seireitei and execute you anyway. Those were the two choices they gave me; either kill you myself or have someone else do it. So I did the only thing I could think of. I ran. I knew that if you weren't with me they wouldn't care anymore and would leave you alone. And I couldn't tell you what was going on coz I knew you'd just try to stop me or formulate some stupid plan that would get both of us killed. So I just took off and ran to the real world. I could hide from the Chamber easily. They couldn't find a burning house in a street of one house. But every day I would look back at what might have happened had I not gone. I would question myself if there was anything else I could have done, but every time I did I saw there was nothing, nothing I could do. And- and-" Kya stopped her sprawling explanation. For the most of it, she had just been blabbering whatever she thought of at that moment. A few tears had managed to seep through her defences and it was only when they prevented her from thinking that she had stopped talking.

Byakuya blinked and tried to take the mountain of information into his brain.

He had been given the answers which he had longed for for so long, and yet his mind wouldn't contemplate them. It was all too much for him.

Kya looked back down at the ground.

"And when I returned I saw that you hated me, and now I've told you why you hate me for not telling you sooner, don't you? And it's all my own fault, I could have stopped it, but I didn't, I could have come back sooner, but again I didn't, I could ha-"

Kya was cut off from her tearful rant when she felt a strong hand lift her chin upwards. Without warning Byakuya brought his lips down onto hers and drew her into a soft kiss. Kya barely noticed when the tears stopped and she started returning the kiss. It just felt so natural; like all those troubled years had never even happened.

All too sudden Byakuya pulled away.

He stared directly into her eyes and whispered the two words that somehow made everything alright.

"I'm sorry"

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**Squeal! -Fangirls run around and hit me with rolling pins for making that so bad- I'm soooorrryyy!!! Don't hit me!**

**Wow, that one was long...**

**Now onto the question of the kangaroo... someone (soz not gonna bother with names) suggested holding its baby or woman hostage, sorry but its baby/woman is not in the room and as this is realistic you cant just make them appear. Someone else suggested calling its mother, well as the kangaroo is completely rabid it decided to kill its own mother, so that doesn't work. Someone else had the best suggestion so far, which was to yell a distraction and then hide, now I thought that was darn good, but then I realised that the kangaroo is far too smart for that and there was no point in hiding because its killer sense of smell would just find you. So nothing works!!! Ahhhh!!! I'm gonna be killed by this kangaroo!!**

**Now review pleasie**

/' '\  
/\(- . -)/\


	27. Books By Paedophiles

**This one's just random, but not especially funny.**

**Chapter 26 : Books by paedophiles**

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"Hey, Kira, pass me the candle" Renji whispered as he huddled over one of the shelves in front of him.

Kira brought the candle over to where Renji was.

"What is it? Have you found anything?" Kira whispered anxiously.

"Yeah, I found that I can't see without light."

They were standing at one end of the huge public library of Seireitei. It was the middle of the night and they both knew they shouldn't be here, but what they were looking for was too important to take notice of minor things like rules. They had gone through the normal routes of looking through the regular books during the daytime, but hadn't found anything. So they had come back and were now looking through those books that mere lieutenants were not allowed to touch. It was the section where the most secret information was kept. The only ones allowed to look at it were captains and they were only permitted when they had permission from Yamamoto. This meant the books were hardly touched and a thick coating of dust covered them.

Kira attempted to blow some of the dust away so that they could read the bindings. It blew up in a huge cloud in Renji's face.

"What was that for?" Renji hushed between coughs.

"Sorry, didn't mean to get you with that"

"Then be more careful where you blow!" he hissed before looking a bit sheepish "That didn't sound right..."

"Hey, Renji, look at this!" Kira whispered excitedly.

Renji looked. A small smile spread across his face as he read the title of the book Kira was pointing at.

"Do you think it'll be in there?" Kira asked

"It's worth a look, isn't it?" Renji reached out and carefully lifted the book off the shelf. It was large and heavy. The deep blue cover was old and tattered and they could see that most of the pages were dog-eared. Renji brushed off the dust on the front to reveal neat gold letters that had been written on rather than printed.

_SECRETS & LIES_

_A History of Seireitei & its Controls_

_By Jikuno Goshi_

"Why is a history book in the confidential section?" Kira asked

"I don't know, I guess it contains something they don't want to be publicly known" Renji mused in excitement. "Let's have a look!"

"Renji, wait, this is seriously against the rules, we could possibly loose our positions if caught"

"Why are we getting caught?" Renji looked at Kira sceptically.

"No reason" Kira said quickly as he shook his head. Renji's eyebrows were acting up again; a clear sign of danger.

"Good" Renji said as he gently opened the book. It landed on a page in the middle. The two lieutenants peered at it breathlessly. It was hand written in black ink that had faded in some places. Kira guessed it was at least two hundred years old.

"Hmm... interesting..." Renji muttered as he stared at the page.

"Uh, Renji?" Kira asked as he gave the other man an odd look.

"Yes?" he answered

"Are you actually reading this?"

"Of course, aren't you?" the tattoos on Renji's forehead twitched upwards.

"Uh, yeah, but do you actually find this interesting?" he now asked

"Well..."

"Coz it's about the development of the sewage system."

One of Renji's eyebrows twitched again.

"Well to some the sewage system is very interesting" the two lieutenants jumped at the sudden presence of the new voice. They spun around to find their visitor right behind them. It looked as though he had been looking over their shoulders at the book.

"Uh... we... we were just..." Kira stammered trying to find a decent excuse for why they were here.

"...sleepwalking!" Renji finished.

"Oh, I didn't realise sleepwalking was a group activity..." the third man said lightly as he peered at the pair doubtfully.

"Well, it is!" Kira tried to recover the story.

"Hang on! What are _you_ doing here?" Renji asked

"Err... sleepwalking?" Joshiro joked. He pointed at the book Renji was still holding "Oooo! That book is great! But you shouldn't take anything it says seriously; Jikuno was known to have several issues, paranoia being a main contributor... I think another was paedophilia..."

Renji slammed the book shut and placed it back on the shelf. He didn't want to read a book written by any paedophile.

"Um, Taicho? You won't tell anyone we were here, will you?" Kira asked nervously.

"Why would I do that?" Joshiro exclaimed happily. Both Renji and Kira sighed in relief. Joshiro started to turn to leave "Well then, I'll be on my way"

He paused and turned back around, a huge grin spread across his pale face.

"I almost forgot!" he said, "I got you these!"

He reached inside his pocket and brought out a book.

"No, that's for Hitsugaya-Taicho..." he replaced it and continued rummaging. Renji was sure he saw a giant picture of Hitsugaya on the cover. After a second, Joshiro brought out two small draw-string bags. He held them up for the pair to take. They did so with a puzzled expression on their faces.

"What are these?" Kira asked uncertainly

"Presents!" Joshiro told them. They just looked at him blank-eyed.

Joshiro turned to leave again. He was halfway up the aisle when he next spoke to the two over his shoulder.

"You won't find anything by the way" Renji and Kira tensed up. Did he know what they were looking for?

"Why not?" Renji called after the white haired captain. He turned back to them and the two saw a serious look on his face.

"Because even writing her name is a crime punishable by death" Joshiro didn't wait for any more questions. He turned and exited the library, leaving the two lieutenants standing shocked.

He knew what they were looking for. He knew they were trying to find information on Kya.

"What the-?"

Kira turned to see Renji looking down at the small object in his hand. He was clearly angry. Kira peered closer and realised why. He opened the draw-string pouch and brought out a similar object.

"That's just wrong..." he said as he glanced down at miniature stone version of himself. "That's really wrong..."

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"Where were you when you were in hiding?"

Kya turned her head so she could see Byakuya clearly. He was sitting upright in a way that positively screamed of nobility. She on the other hand was just lying on the grass, her arms placed underneath her head. She had been watching the stars turn in the sky overhead the field with the waterfall. That was one thing she liked about Seireitei, the stars were always so much clearer here. It was the night after the day when Kya had explained everything. Those two days she had spent happily talking to Byakuya whenever she had the opportunity to meet him. Or maybe talking_ at_ Byakuya is more accurate; he still didn't speak much. This was the first time he had mentioned her little trip since then. Kya saw he still wasn't comfortable talking about it. Neither was she, to be honest.

"Oh, I travelled round a lot. I didn't stay anywhere longer than a month" Kya answered. Byakuya peered at her. That stare was no longer cold, just peaceful. "I visited Kisuke quite a lot"

Byakuya narrowed his eyes at this. He did not like Urahara Kisuke. He wondered what that perverted buffoon did to his innocent little Kya. Ok, maybe that wasn't right. Kya was neither little or innocent, as he should know.

"Aww, is little Byakuya jealous?" Kya teased as she sat upright.

"I do not get jealous" he told her plainly.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot about you being a big macho-man now." Kya continued to tease. "Of course big macho-men don't get jealous, what would they have to be jealous about?"

"Why do you always find it necessary to mock me?" Byakuya asked

"I dunno, I guess I just enjoy watching you squirm"

"I do not squirm" Byakuya again informed Kya. She just laughed.

"Of course you don't macho-man" she said doubtfully. Why he liked this woman when she so annoyed him was something Byakuya could not explain. "I bet you're the type of guy that secretly practices poses in the mirror"

Byakuya looked at her out of the corner of his eyes and smiled knowingly. Kya burst out laughing. Maybe Byakuya really did practice poses in the mirror.

The thought of him looking into the looking glass and trying his 'intellectual' look came into Kya's mind. She couldn't help but laugh at the image.

"At least I don't spend hours a day choosing what to wear" Byakuya said

"That's because you wear the same thing _every_ day!" Kya exclaimed while grinning. Byakuya tried to narrow his eyes at her, but it didn't work very well seeing as she was just so strange she ignored it.

"I'd be careful what you say around me, if I were you" he instead tried to threaten. It had no effect. Kya remained smiling.

"Or what? You'll do that little paper shredding act? Like that would work!"

"I seem to remember you not fending so well against my 'little paper shredding act'."

Before he knew what was happening he was knocked to the ground. Kya sat on top of him and held his wrist to the ground. He didn't try to move, he knew it would be hopeless.

"What was that, macho-man?" Kya said dangerously while looking him in the eyes.

"You know I could easily get out of this?" he said just as dangerously. Actually, he couldn't. He and Kya both knew that.

"Oh, really?" she asked as she brought her face closer to his, a malicious smirk on her face.

"Yes"

"Oh, really?"

"Yes"

"Oh, rea-"

Kya was cut off when she felt her lips connect with something. Byakuya felt her smile gently through the kiss and deepened it. He felt Kya's grip on his wrists loosen a bit. He tried to free his hands and escape her deadly grasp.

She only tightened her hands around his wrists and broke from the kiss.

"Nuh uh, Mister, you're not getting out of this that easily" she whispered as her smirk returned.

"Oh, really?"

"No"

"Oh, rea-"

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**That was well hard to write, so soz if it sucked.**

**Oi, noi! The rabbit's escaped! Protect the socks!**

**Review or disappear down a bottomless pit where computers don't exist...**

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	28. Transvestites & Prostitutes

**This one's pretty darn short. **

**And it's dedicated to Glockenspiel M'lady, coz it's her bday tomorrow and I probably won't be able to get one out then as I have tonnes of homework. It has Mayuri in, Rhea, so be happy!**

**Chapter 27 : Transvestites and prostitutes **

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Apparently news spread fast in Soul Society.

It wasn't as if Kya didn't already know that; rumours were how she acquired a fair part of her information after all. Of course, she had to ignore about eighty percent of them which were complete tripe. For instance there was one where she heard one Shinigami had been caught in a compromising position with a sheep, when she knew for a fact that that person was gay instead of animal inclined.

However, sometimes they hit the nail on the head. This was almost one of those times.

It had been barely three days since Kya and Byakuya's first reunion kiss and the rumours were already flying. Most were just that Kuchiki Byakuya had been seen with some unknown girl, by who Kya initially had no idea as she was sure no one had been around, but others were more sinister. She had heard one that said captain Kuchiki was gallivanting off with transvestites, another that he owed money to a brothel and so was working it off by taking out all its residents. The fact that these rumours were saying Kya looked like either a transvestite or a prostitute did not go unnoticed by her. She was not happy about them.

It was for this reason that when she opened the door to the ninth division headquarters people stepped away a bit. You see, it was more ripping a massive hole and punching her way though the door than actually opening it.

"Mayuri! Get your scrawny clown-ass over here!" she shouted at the top of her lungs as she stepped through the giant rip in the paper door.

Mayuri's eyes widened and he took a step backwards.

"Why me?" he screeched

"Because you," Kya said dangerously as she marched towards him, "have a nasty tongue in that mouth of yours, maybe I'll just have to rip it out for you!"

"Now, whatever do you mean?" Mayuri waved his arms in front of him dismissively. His expression changed however when Kya continued rushing towards him looking furious.

"You know what I bloody mean!" Kya almost reached Mayuri and was about to rip that tongue out when she was stopped. Shunsui, Matsumoto and Hisagi hung onto her right arm while Komamura, Kira and Renji hung onto her left, pulling her backwards. They were struggling to keep her under control as she writhed frantically trying to reach the shocked-looking twelfth division captain and knock his head off.

"Let me go!" she screamed. They didn't and she struggled harder. She was almost free when she felt her feet being lifted off the ground. She stopped squirming and let Byakuya carry her to the other side of the room where he gently put her down.

Kya glared at him.

He just stared back blankly.

"Why won't you let me kill him?" she shouted at Byakuya.

"Because you do not kill needlessly" he reminded her of her own principles.

"But this isn't needlessly!" she pointed at Mayuri and looked almost pleadingly at Byakuya, despite the angry tone in her yells.

"Let them fight!" Zaraki spoke up from the centre of the group of officers. Byakuya turned to face him and gave one of his typical icy stares. Zaraki glared in return but didn't say anymore on the subject.

"What's Mayuri done now?" Shunsui instead asked.

"Well, I'll tell you what he's been doing! He's been spreading nasty rumours around! They're blatantly not true and he knows that! It's completely immoral!" Kya turned to Shunsui as she spoke. Shunsui eyes narrowed to dots.

"I only asked..." he muttered quietly as he took a step back and glanced nervously at the livid woman.

"I do not look like a transvestite or a prostitute!" Kya suddenly blurted out.

People blinked.

"That was you?" Matsumoto suddenly got angry herself as she faced Mayuri. "You were the one that started that?"

"Started what?" Kira asked her. Matsumoto got all excited and turned into gossip mode.

"Oh my God! Have you not heard the rumours? Well they-"

"Rangiku!" Kya shouted cutting her off. She didn't really want to hear those rumours again, nor did she want to have it spread unnecessarily.

"Right, sorry," she apologised before turning back to Mayuri. He looked slightly worried now. And he was right to be. "You are the most immature, dishonest, corrupt, lying bastard I have ever had the pleasure to meet! You never, _ever_, spread word that a lady is a tranny or hooker! You better have a good reason why you did such a horrible thing!"

"I...uh..." Mayuri spluttered. Matsumoto was holding a finger in front of his face and waving it treacherously.

"Matsumoto!" she turned to see her own captain looking serious.

"Yes, Taicho?" she asked in a far politer voice than she usually used.

"Remember who you're talking to..." he warned. People saw he was referring to their position as captain and lieutenant, but Kya suspected he was also talking about Mayuri personally. He didn't want his lieutenant to turn into one of his little science experiments after all. He may just turn her into a grey hound or something.

"Sure" she replied happily. She faced Mayuri again. "But you... why did you do such a thing?"

"Err... I... wait! How do you know it was me? It could have just as easily been anyone else!"

"Because you, my little blue haired bunny, are the only one that could have seen us without me knowing about it." Kya had stepped up next to Matsumoto. Byakuya didn't try to stop her this time, knowing she was past her 'I must slaughter and maim!' stage. Mayuri gulped at seeing the two angry women staring at him viciously. It was like he had angered a tribe of female baboons. Not very nice, in short.

"It was an experiment!" Mayuri finally admitted. His high pitched squealing could have awoken the sloths in the Amazon rainforest.

"An experiment? Into what?" The effect of having both women yell at him simultaneously seemed to be having an impact on Mayuri. He stammered backwards. They just followed every step he took. He blinked before answering the question.

"Into Shinigami behaviour, I'm composing a very interesting report if you'd like to have a look, it mainly focuses on the-"

"We don't freaking care!" Kya and Matsumoto again shouted in unison.

Mayuri backed up nervously. Soon he was pressed against the wall, the women glaring at him two inches in front of his face.

"Bye" he suddenly said.

"Wha-" Kya said.

It was too late. He had melted into the wall and disappeared.

"Nooo!" Matsumoto cried

"Damn him with his damn bodily enhancements!" Kya groaned.

"At least now Purple-chan can't stain her purty clothes with Clown-face's blood and pee and sh-"

"Why did you call us all here, Kya?" Unohana cut off Yachiru, who was now batting the bells on Zaraki's hair like she was a cat.

"Oh yeaaah" Kya said back in her usual voice as if she had just realised she had called the meeting. "Well, it's about the next task"

People's ears pricked up. Yes, she was still doing the whole task thing. They really were good ways to see the officers' personalities. Kya suddenly looked back at the wall where Mayuri had disappeared.

"And as for you!" she shouted at the blank wall "If you don't come to the next meeting you won't be able to participate, which isn't a very good thing to have on your record, I must say!"

Nothing happened on the wall and she huffed.

"Anyway... this task's gonna take a bit longer than the last few, it really depends on how hard you work to how long exactly. It's also a fun one, so you should all be grateful!"

Everyone gulped.

"I think these will speak for themselves!" Kya announced as she reached somewhere behind her and pulled out a huge pile of papers. Kya always managed to pull crap out of nowhere. They wished they knew how she did it. Nanao's eyes brightened at the stack of paper. She obviously though it was work or some other Nanao like hobby.

It was not work.

Kya distributed the papers between the Shinigami. The pile had been divided up into smaller piles that were stapled, rather roughly, together. Each captain or lieutenant had their own pile. They looked down at what the first sheet said. Most were not pleased, especially Nanao.

"Why the he-" Soifon was cut off.

"Oh, thank you Kya! Thank you, thank you! You know how much I like these things!" Shunsui rushed forwards and squeezed Kya into a hug that more resembled a boa constrictor's preferred method of killing than a show of affection.

"Can't... breathe..." Kya gasped. Shunsui finally let go and ran back over to where his precious Nanao was standing, still shocked at the task ahead of her.

"What?" she asked.

"Yes, a wonderful, fantabuloso task awaits you all!" Kya exclaimed. What the hell was fantabuloso supposed to mean?

"Why am I a _man_?" Soifon questioned angrily.

"Well, thank you for sharing that with us, Soifon, I know it must have taken a great deal of courage to finally admit it." Kya told her in a patronising way. An anger mark appeared on Soifon's forehead. She, or maybe he, didn't like this woman.

"But this task... it's..." Kira stammered. Kya invited him to continue.

"Yes?"

"A... play?"

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**Yes, it's a play, like the theatre darling!**

**Sorry anyone who doesn't like the whole task format, this one will be really long though and interspaced with lots of random scenes that have nothing to do with it, so don't lynch me!**

**Ow! I just burnt my hand with my lighter. It was set on too high a setting and I covered it so it wouldn't go out in the wind but instead it flamed my hand off.**

**Yeah and as the rabbit's escaped... he's not here. I still haven't found him... but I have found lots of holes in my socks...**

**Reviews need what all detrivores do to survive... warmth, moisture, oxygen &, my personal favourite, dead stuff!**


	29. Boredom

**What do you know? I was able to get this one out today, although it is later than usual.**

**Yeah I wouldn't read this one if you're younger than like 10, but mind you, you shouldn't really be reading this anyway as it is rated T.**

**Chapter 28 : Boredom **

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"Byakuyaaa, why are you doing paperwoooork?"

"Because some of us actually need to work" Byakuya replied as he continued writing down on some form. Kya stood in front of his desk and sighed. She had been complaining for the past fifteen minutes about not having anything to do and being fed up of it. Byakuya had just ignored her, occasionally he commented or made suggestions, but mainly he just continued with his dull paperwork. He found it surprisingly easy to not get annoyed at her, despite the bothersome noise she was making.

"But I'm boooored" she whined for about the fifth time in ten minutes.

"Then find something to entertain yourself" Byakuya didn't look up and his writing brush moved swiftly down the page.

"I did!" Kya exclaimed. "But now he's too busy filling out unnecessary papers to think about me!"

Byakuya glanced up briefly before turning back to the amazingly important documents. Kya slumped down in the chair opposite him. She was completely exhausted of this conversation. It wasn't as if she had anything better to do though.

"You do know about eighty percent of this stuff is actually worthless?" she asked tiredly. Byakuya didn't even pause his writing this time. "Yeah, Yamamoto just sets so much to keep most of you from killing each other; it seems to have worked so far"

Still no response.

"Byakuya, why don't we go out somewhere? We could go to tea, or a walk, or shopping?"

This time Byakuya looked up. It was only to raise a suspicious eyebrow at Kya. He knew she just wanted to go clothes shopping. It was not something he was interested in. He shook his head slowly as he looked down again.

"I'm busy" he told her plainly. She leaned forwards, placed her elbows on the desk and rested her head in her hands.

"Oh come on, it's not like you're actually doing anything. Besides, you've got the afternoon off for first rehearsals anyway; you might as well take the morning off as well"

"My absence this afternoon is even more reason to work this morning"

"Pleeaase, Byakuya" He glanced up again only to see what he had been trying to avoid. She was pouting and her eyes were wide with the kind of pleading puppy-dog look that no one liked to be greeted with. He quickly turned back to the papers to stop himself from falling for that.

"Ok then, what do _you_ want to do?" she asked frustrated at having the faithful eyes fail her.

"I want to be able to get on with my work without constant interruptions"

"Umm... nah! That would be boring!" Kya said happily.

"You really are incapable of spotting a hint" Byakuya muttered to himself.

"No I'm not! I can spot a hint perfectly well! I just choose to ignore them!"

Byakuya again ignored her. She had just about had enough of this.

"Fine, I'll find something else to do" Byakuya was sure she meant someone else to bother. She quickly stood up and walked towards the door. This caused Byakuya to look up properly. It was not like her to give up so easily.

She paused and turned back.

Byakuya looked down at the documents again. He knew she wouldn't actually leave.

"You know it's been a two weeks now since we got back together?" she asked.

"Yes"

"Well, in that time I've hardly had any proper time with you, you're always working, I sometimes think you don't want to see me" Byakuya returned his gaze to her. She was being serious. In her mind she had doubts that he was regretting the whole kissing her thing. He may have still been thinking about her running off. She knew he didn't trust her completely like he once had and it hurt. She wanted things to return to normal, but although they were seemingly happy on the surface when they spent time together, it just didn't feel like he particularly enjoyed it. She had been debating whether to ask him about it for the past week and now was finally the time to risk it.

"Why wouldn't I want to see you?" he asked slightly confused at what she had said.

"I dunno, I just have a feeling you don't" she said earnestly.

Byakuya stood up and walked over to where she was standing. He looked down at her and Kya felt as if he saw the thoughts in her head just by looking into her eyes.

"Well don't" he said gently. He leaned down and Kya smiled softly as she felt their lips connect.

She had won again.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Renji whistled to himself quietly as he strolled down the corridors of the sixth division headquarters.

He was in a good mood. He had hardly any work today and the only task his captain had set for him was to bring him a file from the forth division. This allowed him to have a few stress-free hours before the dreaded event of this afternoon. He was not fond of the character Kya had chosen for him and having the first rehearsal later was not a nice thought. He dismissed the idea though and instead focused on the fantastic mood he was currently in.

All was well in the world. Not only had he not been receiving much work over the time Kya had been investigating, but also she had enrolled a few other Shinigami to play extras in the drama they were to put on. This may not seem like a reason for Renji to be happy, but considering one of those Shinigami happened to be his closest childhood friend it was not surprising. That was one good thing he got out of this turmoil. At least he was able to see Rukia again. He hadn't seen her in what seemed like a year, when he knew it was actually much closer to two months. She had been on patrol in the real world for too long.

There was one small issue though. Rukia did not feel the same way about him as he did about her. She was too busy patrolling the streets of that bloody carrot-top's town to have time for him anymore. He involuntarily clenched a fist at the image of strawberry boy.

No, he wasn't going to let that moron ruin his joy today. He wasn't going to let anything ruin that today.

He reached the office of his captain and checked once more that he had indeed brought the correct file. He didn't want a repeat of the last time; he now highly suspected Byakuya thought of him as a complete waste of space. It wasn't his fault there were two Shinigami with the same name!

Without bothering to knock he opened the door.

He quickly placed his hands over his eyes and stumbled backwards.

"Ahhh! My eyes! They burn! Oh, the pain!" he yelled as he continued to stumble around in a circle.

"Oh, hey Renji" Kya said not in the slight bit fazed.

Renji lifted his hands away and stared angrily at the sight. His eyebrows were working double time as they twitched up and down his forehead.

"Don't you 'hey' me!" he shouted.

Ok, maybe this was something that could dampen his mood. But who wouldn't get angry at walking in to see that? Kya looked at Renji undauntedly. Byakuya was just glaring.

"Why not?" Kya asked. Renji blinked. Wasn't that obvious?

"Just... because..." was all he was able to voice. Kya tilted her head at him quizzically, which looked a bit odd seeing as she was looking at him upside down while lying on the desk. Byakuya was crouched over her. It was obvious what had been going on.

"That's not a very good reason" Kya informed him. This caused another spasm attack with his eyebrows.

"You do realise I'm now scarred for life? I was lucky not to go blind!"

"Oh, stop overreacting..."

"I'm not overreacting, I ha-" he stopped midway through the shouts and noticed something. "Wait, why are you on _my _desk?"

"Byakuya didn't want to muck up his paperwork" she spoke calmly

"That's not the point! Why can't you use a bed like normal people?"

"We weren't doing anything" Byakuya suddenly spoke up. His stern gaze shook Renji a bit.

"You weren't?" he asked

"Nooooo..." Kya answered. Renji sighed in relief. "...we were about to."

This time, he used his hands to cover his ears.

"Ahhh! My ears! They burn! Oh, the pain!"

Byakuya's eyes narrowed. He was clearly annoyed with his lieutenant. Renji lowered his arms silently and looked nervously at his captain.

"Get out" he spoke firmly.

Renji didn't waste any time questioning that. He turned on his heels and practically ran out of there, slamming the door behind him.

He was sure Byakuya would make him suffer for that later.

----------------------------------------------------------------

"Renji?" Byakuya addressed the anxious lieutenant as he continued with the mountain of paperwork. Kya had left an hour ago and Renji had tried again to enter the office shortly after that. It was quite amusing watching him sit down at his desk as he gazed at it uncertainly as though it might poison him or something. Byakuya had not spoken to him and Renji had silently got on with some of the work he had been left, carefully eyeing every object that was on his desk as he did so.

"Yes, Taicho?" he replied, looking up.

"I would prefer it if you didn't mention what you saw earlier to anyone" Byakuya told him still not moving his gaze from the paper.

"Oh, err..."

Byakuya peered at Renji. It was not a friendly look.

"Who did you tell?" he asked austerely.

"Well..."

------------------------------------------------------------------

**Hehehe! That chapter was just plain weird. What will the play be? What characters have they been given? All will be revealed in the next one.**

**Um... haven't got anything else to say today...**

**Except maybe review?**


	30. Characters

**I've been at home today because I fainted and still feel dizzy. Typing didn't particularly help, but that's how devoted I am to you! So appreciate this chapter, coz it's long.**

**Chapter ****29 :****Characters**

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The hall was full of buzzing chatter when Kya walked in. There must have been at least fifty people in there. Half of them were people she had got to help out with costumes and set-design and such things. She had called them to the rehearsal so they could understand what the play was about, not having been provided with scripts themselves. Kya didn't want everyone in Seireitei to know it off by heart before they even performed it, did she? No one outside the twenty officers and Yamamoto and his lieutenant even knew it was a task. They had been told that it would be a 'Christmas Show' as the holiday was coming up. They also thought Kya was just some director that Yamamoto had hired to oversee the running. They were gullible for thinking Yamamoto would ever put on a thing like a Christmas Show.

Kya looked around the hall of the first division where she had decided to hold the performance. It was the largest after all, which not only meant room to practice but allowed for a stage that had yet to be set up on one side and an enormous audience space.

Kya went over to one of the corners and dragged a high box into the centre back. She set up a director's chair on top and climbed onto it where she sat surveying the room. She pulled out an old-fashioned megaphone and spoke into it.

"Ladies and gentlemen, if I could please have your attention"

The chatter died down and people turned to face the woman who was sitting on a box. She was wearing a beret and thoroughly looked the part of director.

"Thank you" she said into the megaphone, "Now if the actors would step to this side of the room and everyone else to this side"

They did as instructed. About twenty five Shinigami moved to the left where the actors were told to go and twenty five others moved to the right. Kya looked over the actors and saw that not everyone was here yet.

"Ok, now we have to wait for the latecomers" she said annoyed. Great, the first meeting where she had arrived reasonably close to on time and others had not even bothered to do the same. She didn't have to wait long however, as soon two Shinigami stepped through the door. Soifon and her lieutenant looked sheepishly around the silent room before hurrying over to where they spotted the other officers.

"And that leaves only one" Kya muttered. It was five silent minutes later when the door flew open and they stepped regally through the entrance.

"Your king has arrived!" Shunsui announced loudly. Eyes around the room simultaneously disappeared.

"Shunsui, did you just wait outside so you could make an entrance?" Kya asked him sceptically. Shunsui looked around the room nervously.

"Maybe..."

Kya's stern expression changed into a broad grin in an instant.

"I'm so proud! You've learnt so much from me!" She shouted as she jumped down from the box and ran over to the pink-coated captain. Tears were in her eyes as they embraced.

"I know! Thank you Kya for being my teacher!"

"It was no trouble at all!" she bawled over his shoulder. Kya heard a thump and Shunsui suddenly fell to the ground. She looked and saw a giant book on the floor that had obviously just hit him on the head. Kya turned to see Nanao standing with a smug look on her face.

"Nice aim" Kya said sounding impressed

"Thank you" Nanao replied. Shunsui stumbled to his feet and walked over to the rest of the officers while looking a bit forlorn. Why did his precious Nanao always choose to hit him with that dreaded book? It couldn't have been because she was annoyed with him; that was impossible. The only explanation was that she was secretly harbouring a massive crush on him. That had to be it!

Nanao stepped sideways away from her captain. She did not like the look he was giving her.

Kya stepped onto the box again and sat in the chair.

"Alright people, I think we can officially begin the first rehearsal now everyone is here" she had given up with the megaphone and was now just talking loudly. "Firstly I want to just outline the story for those of you who don't have scripts. It is called... duh duh duh duuuh... The Magicians' Gifts!"

A murmuring was heard from the side of the room where the stage hands were. They were wondering what 'That Magicians' Gifts' could be about, except the obvious which was it was about magicians who gave gifts. Kya continued to explain.

"The basic story is very simple. It's about a prince that was given three gifts by three magicians when he was a baby. The King made one of these magicians his godfather and in doing so made the others extremely jealous. The godfather gave the gift of having whatever the prince wished for coming true. The second magician, being the jerk he was, gave the gift that once these wishes were made they could not be retracted. The third magician, being even more of a jerk, gave the give of a really short temper. The boy grows up and has whatever he wishes for come true, like the gifts say. But as he is angry about everything he wishes for stuff like people disappearing to the bottom of the sea, things he regrets severely later but cannot undo because of the second gift. Wanting to be free of this 'curse', he goes looking for his godfather to make him retract the gift. On his journeys he meets another King of another land and instantly falls in love with his daughter, the Princess. They get married and the Prince tries not to do anything rash, but one day he gets annoyed and wishes his wife would die. Of course, she does so, and the Prince returns to his home blaming himself and grieving. After several years he has been swamped by grief and has forgotten his anger. This is when the godfather shows up and says that now he has learnt self-control he will take back his gift. He does so and the Princess and everyone else the Prince wished to die all return to life and they live happily ever after! Isn't it a great story!"

Kya finished her tale and looked around the room. Those who had scripts were just standing normally, but those who didn't were just trying to take everything in. It didn't seem like a very simple story to them.

"Ok then" Kya started, knocking the stunned Shinigami out of their dazes. "Now I want to make sure that all the actors actually read their scripts. So I'm gonna go down the line and you're gonna tell everyone who your characters are!"

Several eyes narrowed at this. Kya's designation of parts had not been the best suited for their personalities.

"First off, Soifon! Would you please tell everyone who you are?"

Soifon looked at Kya with a threatening look on her face. Kya just smiled back.

"I'm a messenger... a _male_ messenger..." she said plainly.

"Well done Soifon! Yes you are a messenger! Isn't it wonderful?" Kya said merrily. "Now, Omaeda, how about you?"

"I'm a messenger too"

"I know!" Kya exclaimed "Ok, Kira?"

"I'm one of the Prince's counsellors that gets sent to the bottom of the ocean..." he paused "why do I have to be sent to the bottom of the ocean?"

"Because that's how the story goes, silly!" Kya answered. She didn't wait for any more complaints from Kira "Unohana?"

"I'm the magician who is granted the position of godfather to the Prince"

"Yes you are. Isane?"

"I'm the third magician that gives the gift of a hasty temper... it doesn't seem like me very much..." she almost whispered. Kya ignored her.

"Momo?"

"Umm... I'm the Prince when he's an adult?"

"Byakuya?"

Byakuya just stared at Kya icily.

"Uh, Byakuya? Would you tell us all your character?" Kya asked. He still didn't say anything. "Please?"

"I'm the narrator" he finally said.

"Yes... and?" Kya encouraged him to elaborate. He did so grudgingly.

"...who's a cat"

Several squeals were heard from the stage hand group. The female members of the group all thought the image of Byakuya as a cat was too adorable. Most of their eyes had turned into hearts at the thought of it all. Byakuya narrowed his eyes slightly at Kya.

"Yay! Byakuya's a kitty!" Kya shouted excitedly. The squeals continued. Eventually they died down and Kya continued. "Ok, now that that's over with... Renji, who are you?"

"I'm a bloody dog!" he shouted while his eyebrows practically jumped off of his head.

"Yes, but you're not just any dog, you're the Prince's dog that can understand humans, and then gets hung when the prince wishes so... you spend a lot of time in a glass coffin pretending to be dead." Kya clarified. This did not help Renji's eyebrow situation. Kya just continued her round. "And you Komamura?"

The giant fox almost growled in response, although it was a very dignified growl.

"I'm the Prince... when he was a baby..."

People lost their eyes again. That had to be the most bizarre choice of characters ever. The image of Komamura in a diaper and bib came to many minds. It was scary.

"Yes! And you Iba?"

"I'm the second magician who gives the gift of not being able to retract his wishes"

"Shunsui, what about you?"

"Well, I thought I made that obvious when I entered! I'm the KING!" Shunsui stood with his hands on his hips and looked into the distance dramatically. An imaginary crown hovered over his head and he looked very important.

"Nanao?" Shunsui's bubble of kingliness popped with Kya words and he turned to his lieutenant.

"I'm another counsellor that gets sent to the bottom of the ocean" Shunsui gasped

"No! My precious Nanao can't go to the bottom of the sea!" he shouted while trying to hug Nanao. She just hit him with her book before yelling in response.

"It's not real, idiot!"

"Oh yeah... I knew that"

"Okaaay then..." Kya said "Hisagi?"

"I'm the first magician when he's masked as an old woman helping to bring up the Prince" he glared at Kya as he spoke. He didn't want to be an old woman. Old women smelt funny and had bad hair.

"Shiro-chan?"

An anger mark creeped forwards onto Hitsugaya's forehead, and this time it was not about the nickname. He did not like his chosen character one bit.

"Shiro-chan?" Kya repeated.

He muttered something under his breath.

"What was that Shiro-chan?" Kya asked while pointing at her ear.

"I'm the Princess' freaking little sister!" he shouted angrily.

"Awwww" females from the other side of the room crooned. Kya stepped in before Hitsugaya ripped off each of their heads.

"And Rangiku?"

"I'm the Prince's loyal advisor that he wishes to become dumb but then regrets it, I seem to spend a lot of the play just following him around" she said while sighing.

"Rangiku, it's a fantastic part! I thought you would be happy!" Kya said. Matsumoto just looked at the floor guiltily. "Umm.. sorry... Anyway, Ken-chan, you're up next"

Zaraki looked even more pissed than Hitsugaya at his part.

He was a man. A manly man. One hundred percent beef.

He was _not_ in any way, shape or form a beautiful girl...

...Who would have to wear a dress.

He didn't say anything and Kya stared back.

"Fine, I'll tell everyone then!" she finally said seeing Zaraki was not going to spill. "Ken-chan is the Princess!"

Gasps reverberated around the room. That was just too outrageous. No way could someone like Zaraki Kenpachi play the part of a beautiful, gentle, honest princess. It was just plain creepy.

"And Yachiru?" Kya continued, ignoring the shocked stares of almost everyone in the room.

"I'm the Prince when he was a child! I get to eat chocolate!" she yelled happily.

"I know! Now, what about you Mayuri?"

His yellow eyes twitched dangerously before he spoke.

"I'm the King's wife" he hissed. Again gasps were heard. What was with the sudden burst of cross-dressing?

Wait, that meant he was meant to act like Shunsui's wife.

Suddenly people felt very sorry for Shunsui.

"That is correct!" Kya exclaimed "Nemu?"

"I'm the godfather when he's disguised as an old hermit and trains the Prince after the death of his wife" she answered

"And Joshiro?"

"I am the father of the Princess, the King of the far away land that the Prince visits"

"Yay!" Kya started "Now that's all the captains and lieutenants. To make this easier to perform I have asked several other Shinigami to also play roles. Um... five of you are just extras in the background at the King's court and don't do anything. But the others please explain your roles. Rukia?"

"I'm one of the second King's servants" she answered

"Yep, and you Sentaro and Kiyone?" Kya asked the thirteenth division third seats.

"We're also the second King's servants!" they shouted together. They looked at each other and glared.

"And finally... Ikkaku, Yumichika, who are you?"

"We're a couple of blind beggars that direct the King or something" Ikkaku replied not really caring.

"And a beautiful beggar I will be" Yumichika added while looking into a hand mirror. "My beauty will outshine that from all other beggars"

"Alright... whatever floats your boat mate" Kya said slightly disturbed.

That was all the characters revealed. No one was left. At least twenty of the twenty five main characters were not happy with their role. They either involved cross-dressing, acting like some kind of animal, or being a prat in general.

What had Kya gotten them into?

--------------------------------------------------------------

**I better stop it there, it was getting too long.**

**I do not own 'The Magicians' Gifts'. It's from a book called Old-fashioned Fairy Tales by Mrs Ewing. That's my disclaimer there. I did however add a couple of characters into the story so that it fitted.**

**I also do not own the line 'one hundred percent beef'. That belongs to Glockenspiel Rhea. She should let me use it though, because it just proves how funny it is.**

**I still can****'****t find the bunny. This is bad.**


	31. Acting Skills

**_Rf:_ Hahaha****! I've overtaken you Rhea!  
**I'm ill again. Today it's because I've started taking some pills for a medical reason and I've got to take them for 12 days, but they make me sick. Not nice.

**_Gin:_ You know what is nice? Having me in these openings!**

**_Rf:_ Ginny! You've come back for me!! -runs towards Gin arms outstretched-**

**_Gin:_ Time for me to go -runs away before I can reach him-**

**_Rf:_ Ohhhh!  
Here's the story.  
****Ginny wait up!!**

**Chapter ****30 : ****Acting skills**

--------------------------------------------------

The hall was once again buzzing. The costume makers were busy trying to get the measurements of each of the actors, something that would have been easier had Kya not given them each a character that they hated. The set designers were looking at the list Kya had given them of the different scenery needed and discussing how they would go about making it. The actors had separated up and were reading through the scripts. Or avoiding reading through the scripts in many of the cases. Kya was going around the room observing what people were doing.

It was thirty minutes into the rehearsal and not much had been achieved. Most of the Shinigami were just talking and not getting on with what they were meant to be doing. Every time Kya got near them they would pretend to be busy. Kya knew this but didn't try to stop them, she would organise them in a bit.

Kya walked up to one of the actors that she particularly wanted to speak to.

"Hey" she greeted. They looked up from their script that they had been reading.

"Why am I a cat?" Byakuya asked.

"Because you're so similar to a cat anyway" she replied. Byakuya raised an eyebrow.

"How?"

"Well... cats are cute and so are you!" This didn't make Byakuya any happier about the part.

"I am not cute" he stated.

"Reeaaally?" Kya asked sarcastically. Byakuya looked down and flipped through the pages of the script until he found the right one.

"I am not purring" he said while pointing at a particular line that said Byakuya purrs. Kya stepped closer and looked up at him with a soft smirk on her face.

"Oh yes you are" she said devilishly. This almost caught Byakuya out and he was about to lean in. He quickly realised where he was and stepped back.

"Not here"

Kya pouted.

"Oh, sorry, forgot about your whole not showing emotion in public rule" she sounded disappointed as she looked at the ground in front of her feet. Byakuya sighed. Slowly he lifted his arm and gently brushed her cheek with the back of his hand. She looked up with a small smile on her face.

"Happy now?" Byakuya asked. Kya reached out and held the tips of his fingers in her own while letting them hang between their two bodies.

"Very"

She stepped back while still holding his hands. Slowly she walked backwards until she had no choice but to let his hands drop. She turned and walked away still smiling to herself.

--------------------------------------------------

Hushed whispers were sounding on the other side of the hall. The female members of the stage hands were all busy gossiping amongst themselves. Every now and then they would look up and gaze in the direction of the pair.

"Can you believe they're going out?"

"I know it's incredible"

"I'm so jealous of her"

"I wonder how she managed it"

"Yeah, it's not as if Kuchiki-Taicho would be exactly an easy target"

"She must have tricked him"

"Oh my God! They're holding hands!"

"I feel sorry for Hisana"

"You know what I heard? I heard that they were dating ages ago but he broke up with her when he met Hisana"

"You know what I heard? I heard that they met in the real world when a hollow attacked and he had to rescue her"

"You know what I heard? I heard that she used to be a guy"

"You know what I heard?" the women turned at the presence of a familiar voice. Their eyes widened. "I heard that spreading rumours can severely shorten your life"

"Unohana-Taicho! We...We were just..."

Unohana stood there with a soft smile on her face. No one missed the threat in her words.

---------------------------------------------------

"Please, Kusajishi-sama, just stand still!"

"No!" Yachiru shouted at the poor sap that was trying to get her measurements. She wiggled about and kept dodging the measuring tape.

"Pleeaase! I have to do this!" the woman pleaded. Yachiru just opened her mouth and slammed it firmly shut around her hand. The woman shook her hand wildly until Yachiru finally decided to let go. Her face grew dark as the anger boiled inside of her.

"Right, you little spoilt brat, I think it's time for someone to-" the stage hand stopped suddenly.

A large dark shadow had fallen across them.

The woman looked up nervously to see a furious looking Zaraki standing over her. His eyes were now just stars of rage and the area suddenly seemed a lot darker than it had just been.

"Care to repeat that?"

----------------------------------------------------

"I am not kissing him!"

"Mayuri, shut it and pucker up!" Kya yelled at the strange captain in front of her. She had called the rehearsal to order and had dismissed the stage hands so that there would be a bit more peace in the room. They were going through the opening scene and Mayuri was not happy. The officers that were not needed were sitting on chairs watching the others practice. They were all quite happy with watching Mayuri suffer.

"But he's a man!" Mayuri shouted at Kya while pointing at the other actor on stage.

"I know, but you don't see Shunsui complaining do you?"

"Umm... actually, Kya-"

"You do as you're told!" Kya interrupted Shunsui who was about to start complaining. He looked down sulking.

"Now I'm the director and you actors do as I say! And I say kiss him dammit!" Kya yelled.

"Alright!" Shunsui cried. Eyes widened at his sudden change of heart. Did he really just agree to kiss Mayuri? And happily? "All I have to do is imagine him as my precious Nanao and I'll be able to-"

"What?" Nanao screamed.

"Now don't get jealous Nanao, it's just pretend, I'm not actually cheating on you" Shunsui told her. Nanao looked furious. She was about to open her mouth and shout at her captain for thinking stuff like that when Kya stopped her.

"Great! Now let's take it from Shunsui's line"

Mayuri looked wildly around the room terrified. No one offered help. Even Nemu just sat there. She didn't see what the big deal was anyway.

"Oh, darling! Can you believe we have a son? I'm sure he'll grow up to make a marvellous prince!" Shunsui announced over-dramatically while reading from his script. He ran over to Mayuri with his arms outstretched. "Now, come give your King a kiss!"

Mayuri couldn't move. His feet were paralysed with fear at the great big bearded man running towards him, lips ready to smother him.

Shunsui was almost there; just another step and he could finally kiss his precious Nanao. Oh, how long he had waited for this moment! How many dreams had he had in which this very scene had been played?

His face leaned in towards Mayuri.

Suddenly he stepped back and covered his eyes with his hands.

"Ahhh!"

Mayuri stood there pleased with himself. His hand was still holding the pepper spray in front of his face. No way was he going to let this man kiss him, especially while still wearing that pink coat. Just how gay could you get?

"Mayuri!" Kya shouted "That was not in the script!"

"Really? I thought that was how it went" Mayuri said dismissively.

"No you didn't! Now get on with this properly!"

Mayuri narrowed his eyes at Kya. He was sure she was enjoying this.

Shunsui finally took his hands away to reveal his pink swollen eyes. He pointed accusingly at Mayuri.

"Now you're dead! You ruined my perfectly rugged face!" he yelled. He leaped forwards and tried to grab Mayuri. Mayuri dodged and ran. Soon there were two blurs running around in a circle, one pink and the other white.

"Stooop!" Kya's shouts were louder than any they had heard so far. They did so and ground to a halt on opposite sides of the ring they had dug into the floor.

"Maybe we should just get on with the next scene" Kya suggested fully annoyed at the actors' unwillingness to cooperate.

Mayuri smiled.

Shunsui hid behind Joshiro at the sight.

----------------------------------------------------

"For my part, I bestow the gift of a hasty temper" Isane basically whispered into her script.

"Gah. Gah." Komamura said in his normal deep voice while also staring at his script.

"Cut!" Kya shouted. She sighed. This was going to be harder than she thought. "Can you guys not act at least a tiny bit? Or at least try? Honestly you're hopeless!"

People just glared at her.

"Ok, let's take it from there" she sounded very unhappy.

Isane and Iba walked stiffly to the other side of the stage.

"We can't exactly be insulted and do nothing, can we?" Iba read in a monotone. They continued walking until they were off stage. Kya shook her head and sighed again. Why didn't they teach acting at the Shinigami Academy? It would have made her job so much easier.

"My son has only to be sure of what he wants!" Shunsui yelled vividly. At least he was trying to act. "And then he will not wish to recall his wishes!"

Mayuri stepped forward.

"If anyone should have a hasty temper, it should be a prince!" Kya was sure his high-pitched voice would scare most of the younger audience, not reassure them. What was she going to do with this lot? It would take a decade for them to get this right if she continued to practice this way.

An idea started formulating in her mind as the scene continued in front of her.

She smiled wickedly.

"Cut!"

---------------------------------------------------

**Hehehe****! I feel evil for stopping there!**

**Sadly, all will not be revealed in the next one, at least I think it won't, I'll just have to see.**

**God, imagining Komamura as a baby just cracks me up every time.****The same with Mayuri in a dress.**

**Review hoes!**

**Or not... whatever...**


	32. Doubts & Realisations

_**Rf**_**: Whato, chaps! Story time, again!  
**_**Gin**_**: Why are you talking like that?  
**_**Rf**_**: Because my name is Wooster, don't you know?  
**_**Gin**_**: I thought it was Rose?  
**_**Rf**_**: Shh you! Otherwise I'll chain you to the dungeon wall again and release the fangirls!  
**_**Gin**_**: ...that's not so bad...  
**_**Rf**_**: O.O  
_Gin: _-creepy smile-**

**Chapter 31 : Doubts and realisations **

---------------------------------------------------------------

Byakuya stood up. He was sure he just heard something coming from his garden. He checked that he had his zanpaktou and walked to the sliding paper door that separated his bedroom from the garden. Slowly he opened the door and looked out, ready to attack if necessary.

He heard the noise again. It was coming from one side of the garden in the trees. He stepped out into the moonlit night and made his way silently towards the noise. It was probably a fox or something, but he had to make sure.

He reached the trees and sighed when he saw what it was.

"Heereee, Kitty, Kitty"

Byakuya stepped into the trees and stood in front of the intruder.

"Yay! It worked!" Kya exclaimed at seeing her calling had worked on the little cat some knew as Byakuya.

"What are you doing?" he asked her. She looked at him and grinned.

"Proving to you that you're the perfect person to play a cat! You even came when called!"

"If you wanted to see me you could have just used the front door" he stated

"But that wouldn't have been half as fun, would it?" she asked in a fake insulted voice. Byakuya rolled his eyes. He turned around and started walking towards his house again, Kya jumping after him. He reached the veranda and sat on the stone bench placed along the wall. Kya leaned against the railings opposite him and looked at him seriously.

"You're not angry at me, are you?" she asked. Byakuya looked into her eyes.

"Of course not" he answered. Kya frowned.

"Good, coz it just seems as if something's up" it was a question not a statement.

"Apart from me being forced to act like a cat in front of half of Seireitei?" Kya laughed slightly, but didn't say anything. She knew that wasn't it. There was something else on his mind. After a couple of minutes Byakuya finally spoke again, this time completely soberly. "There's nothing"

"Oh, ok" She knew he was lying, but didn't want to push him. He would tell her eventually, however long it would take. Silenced engulfed the garden. Neither spoke as they took in the night air. Finally Kya decided to break it.

"Heereee, Kitty, Kitty" she cooed as she looked upwards. She glanced at Byakuya to see the annoyed look in his eyes. She smirked.

"I'm not a Kitty" he told her after stepping up so that he was standing in front of her. Kya continued to smirk.

"I don't believe you" she said.

"Really?" Byakuya asked in a low whisper. He brought his head in closer towards her.

"Nope" she answered

"Well, you should" Kya almost missed his whisper this time. Slowly he closed the distance between them until their lips were barely touching. Kya got rid of any remaining space as she pressed her lips against his. Byakuya pushed Kya further against the railings as he deepened the gentle kiss. He hated how those blueberry lips always knew how to captivate him. And Kya always managed it so easily. He silently cursed those enticing lips for being so perfect. How was he meant to resist something like that?

---------------------------------------------------------------

Kya hadn't been sleeping well since she returned to Seireitei. Byakuya could tell from the very slight dark shadows under her eyes that had formulated over the time. He didn't think anyone else had noticed, but to him they were visible. However, over the past few days they had been reducing. She was sleeping again, and Byakuya was happy about that. For one, it meant she wouldn't be as moody. For another, it meant she was happy again. And Byakuya did want her to be happy.

On the other hand, Byakuya hadn't been sleeping as well as he use to. His dreams had been full of troubling thoughts for the best part of seventy years, but over the past couple of weeks they had only gotten worse. At least before then he had been able to sleep, now whenever he fell into a slumber he would be awoken by dreams of betrayal and death. Memories from years before hand were revisiting him in his sleep. Memories of Kya. Memories of Hisana. Memories full of pain.

He looked down at the sleeping woman next to him and sighed softly.

To be honest, what Kya had said the previous day had bothered him. It wasn't that he didn't want to spend time with her. He truly did enjoy being around her. She was able to bring a side out of him that he hadn't seen in decades. But there was something else.

Every time he looked at her there was a niggling voice in the back of his mind. It was this voice that had him questioning what he was doing.

It kept reminding him of Hisana. No matter how hard he tried to shift the thought once it arrived, it wouldn't work. He would just think of what was happening and wonder to himself if this whole scenario was possible. How could he love both of these women when they were so different to each other? Hisana had been kind and gentle. Kya was, well, not. Surely his feelings were impossible. No one could fall for two people when they were exact opposites of each other.

This had him doubting his feelings. He had loved Hisana, no one could deny that. He had risked everything for her and had still been happy. There was no way in which his feelings for her weren't real. Even after so long, he was still grieving her death. She had been his wife, and he loved her more than anything.

But then that meant that he couldn't love Kya. He admitted to himself that his feelings about her were a little more complicated than the ones he had had for Hisana. There were times when she annoyed the hell out of him and he wanted nothing more than to rip her head off. But there were also times when he looked into her eyes and couldn't imagine being anywhere else than with her. He still didn't trust her completely yet. He knew Kya saw this and the pain it caused her hurt more than if a spear had been shoved up his nose and lodged into his brains. Even though he understood why she left, and even silently thanked her for it, he could not simply erase the pain it had caused him from his memory. He wondered if he would ever be free of the suspicious thoughts that came to mind when seeing her. He wished he would.

And yet, despite all the negative thoughts in his brain, there was still something that drew him to her. She had been his first love. They had known each other since he was nothing more than a teenager, and he had loved her since he entered the Shinigami Academy, years before they first kissed. But was it really love? Maybe it was just infatuation. Maybe he just thought he felt this way about her when in reality it was no more than a school boy crush.

He dismissed the thought from his mind. No way could that be true. He had known his feelings from the start. When he fell for her, he had fallen completely.

But still... how could both his feelings be true? How could he love her?

He gazed at Kya's sleeping form beside him. He gently reached up and brushed away a strand of soft purple hair that had fallen into her face. He then rested his hand against her cheek. She was beautiful when she slept.

Kya stirred slightly in her slumber and nuzzled her head into his shoulder.

Byakuya adored that smile of hers she got when asleep. She hardly ever used it when awake. It was a soft, peaceful smile that whispered of genuine serenity. He was the only one that got to see that smile. It made him feel inexplicably lucky when he saw it. In that moment, with her sound asleep in his arms, he couldn't help but think his feelings were true. When she was asleep, there was no doubt that he loved her.

He softly placed his thumb against her bottom lip, taking in every aspect of that smile. Soon she would wake, and that precious smile would probably leave and be replaced with a grin or smirk. That was something he wished Kya wouldn't do. He wished she would just take off the mask and be her peaceful self all the time, hold that smile all the time.

Byakuya looked down when he felt the movement against his chest.

Kya's index finger was tracing delicate circles across his skin. It relaxed him. They stayed like that for another five minutes, neither wanting to disturb the calm.

"How long have you been awake?" Byakuya finally whispered.

"About ten seconds longer than you've known." She answered with her eyes still shut. That smile was still there. She didn't have to be anything else here.

He gently started running his fingers through her long hair. The waves were soft and reminded him of expensive satin. He felt her pink lips on his shoulder as her tongue started to trace up to his neck. When her mouth reached his he rolled over so that she was on her back. She moaned quietly and he added more passion to the kiss.

All the doubts simultaneously left his mind, leaving him with nothing but the undeniable feeling that he had been wrong.

He broke the kiss and leaned in towards her ear. When he spoke his voice was soft and full of meaning that words alone could not express. The significance of the whisper was not lost on Kya.

"I love you"

-------------------------------------------------------------

_**Rf:**_** Well, that was hard to write... more fluffiness than I initially intended but oh well. Why the sudden rush of fluff? Well I need some romance in my life. It's not as if I'm exactly gonna get any from any guy I go out with in real life. I don't really have the best taste in men. I either go for the cold, distant type that when you go on a date with you don't talk and just sit in awkward silence. Or there's the really perverted guy that no one else will go near, that's pretty self explanatory. Or I go for the creepy guy that ends up being a lying bastard... kinda like Byakuya, Urahara and Gin I guess... I only just realised that... but they're better...  
**_**Gin:**_** Ooooh, which one am I? Am I the cold distant type?  
**_**Rf:**_** Uh, no O.o  
**_**Gin**_**: Ok, the perverted one?  
**_**Rf**_**: I think we better go now...  
**_**Gin**_**: Huh? Do you think I'm creepy? Why?  
**_**Rf**_**: -slowly edging away- bye all, and remember to review!  
**_**Gin**_**: Hey! Why do you think I'm creepy?**


	33. Chemistry Made Easy

_**Rf:**_** Backstreet's back, alright!  
**_**Gin:**_** -creepy smile- What are you talking about?  
**_**Rf:**_** OMG! Ginny! I just found out that the backstreet boys have returned with a new album! Rhea, we have to go see them when they tour it!  
**_**Gin:**_** Who are the backstreet boys?  
**_**Rf:**_** Nooo! Ginny! I thought you were so perfect! –starts throttling him for not knowing who the backstreet boys are-**

**Chapter 32 : Chemistry made easy**

---------------------------------------------------------------

"Nemu, wait up!"

"Good morning, Kya-sama" Kya reached Nemu half way up the path leading towards the twelfth division. Nemu bowed slightly and Kya just ignored it. She didn't go in for formalities.

"Nemu, can I ask you a favour?" Kya asked. Nemu raised an eyebrow.

"Of course, what is it Kya-sama?" Nemu answered politely.

"Well, actually it's two favours"

"What are they, Kya-sama?"

"Ok, the first one is drop the 'sama', kay?" Nemu looked down and a slight blush crossed her face.

"Ok... Kya" Kya sighed at Nemu's politeness. She knew it was a result of being brought up by Mayuri, whom if you were rude to would certainly smack you in the face with a wet haddock.

"The second one is a bit trickier" Kya continued. "Can I have use of one of the twelfth division labs for a couple of days?"

"Oh, why?" Kya's request had taken Nemu a bit off guard. It was highly unusual for anyone to want to step foot inside twelfth division headquarters, let alone want to use one of their labs. Nemu never understood why people didn't seem to like associating with her division. To her there was nothing unusual about it at all. Sure some of the members were a bit different from others, but that was the case with any of the divisions.

"Coz I need to use some of the technical jazz that's kept in there to create something for the play." Kya replied.

"Well, I'm afraid I can't grant a request like that. You'll have to speak to Kurotsuchi-sama" Nemu told her sounding slightly upset at not being able to help.

"Yeaaah... me and Mayuri aren't really getting on at the moment, you know, with the whole marrying him to Shunsui thing, so I thought you could maybe just let me in and not tell him about it?"

"But that would be disobeying orders!" Nemu gasped.

"Yeah, but only to take an order from me, and as I'm of higher rank than Mayuri, surely it's fine?"

"I'm not sure, Kurotsuchi-sama is sure to be angry with me if I do"

"Oh, don't worry about that. You just leave him to me. Besides, I won't tell him it was you that let me in"

"But-" Nemu didn't get to finish her sentence.

"Thanks, Nemu, you don't know how much help you're being!"

---------------------------------------------------------------

Jars of blue liquid bubbled. Lights flashed on the consol. Beeps and pings were heard above the din the machines were making. Shining green gas seemed to be floating up into the air from tanks of red sludge. Kya stood in the middle of the room laughing like a mad scientist.

After finally convincing Nemu to let her use one of the smaller of the many laboratories that the twelfth division owned, she had immediately started work on her fiendish plan. The room was cramped with assortments of different contraptions and instruments taking up most of the space. The lights were for some reason blue and didn't illuminate much. The dark blue grey of the mechanisms in the room added to the darkness and the main source of light was in fact the massive computer screen at one end.

Maybe Mayuri was allergic to bright light like some sort of vampire. Kya was sure nothing was impossible where that man was concerned.

A loud horn sounded and knocked Kya out of her manic laughing fit. She wasn't actually laughing in happiness; she had just wanted to see if it made any difference. It happened in all the movies after all.

Kya walked over to the contraption in the corner that was making the sound. Two silver weights that were connected by a length of metal were spinning frantically, creating a blurred horizontal circle supported by an arm of silver. The previously green light on the base had turned red.

Kya pressed a large yellow button and the spinning slowly ground to a halt. The red light went out and the noise stopped. Kya tapped one of the weights and it flipped open to reveal a small lump of glowing green goop inside. Putting on a single yellow glove she took the goop out and placed it in a small glass vial.

She held the vial up to eye level and inspected the contents carefully.

She let out a sigh.

It hadn't worked again.

She emptied the vial into the toxic material bin and started again.

This would be easier if she didn't have to put up with the insistent noise these machines made. Why couldn't Mayuri make whisper quiet ones? He probably got high on the vision of power that the buzzing gave him, like he could anything if the noise was loud enough.

The bubbling blue liquid in one of the jars spluttered and a large splat landed on Kya's face.

Damn this science lark.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Mayuri recited the human periodic table in his mind. It was interesting to see how much those idiots had gotten wrong about the world they lived in. Thirty years ago he had tried to memorize the table to help with his investigations into the human brain, and since then he had not been able to shift the annoying list of elements from his mind. Now whenever he was trying to think about something serious his thoughts would be interrupted by 'One – Hydrogen... Two – Helium... Three – Lithium...' and so on. It seriously got on his nerves.

He had just reached 'One hundred and forty one – Praseodymium' when he heard something very odd coming from the small laboratory in the east wing that he was standing next to.

He paused and listened.

His supersonic ears were able to decipher that many of his precious machines were up and running. He hadn't commissioned any experiments in there today, had he? No, he was certain he hadn't.

He slowly opened the door and was greeted by an onslaught of purple smoke rushing out of the room. When the smoke cleared he peered inside.

"What the-"

"Oh, hey Mayuri! Nice of you to drop by!" Kya shouted while looking over her shoulder. She had to shout, so many machines were on at once.

"What are you doing?" Mayuri yelled hysterically. Kya put down whatever it was that she was holding, that looked suspiciously like Mayuri's shrinking tonic, and turned to face her visitor.

"Just borrowing some of your equipment" she told him as if it was no big deal.

"Why?" Mayuri kept up his hysterical appearance.

"Because I needed to use them for the task"

"What? How did you even get in here?"

"Oh, Mayuri, you really need to improve your security" Kya said jokingly while laughing. Mayuri glared.

"I did not permit this! It is completely out of order!" he screeched.

"Oh yes you did"

Mayuri was about to yell something but stopped and blinked.

"What? When?" he said in a slightly more normal tone, well, you know, as normal as Mayuri could make it.

"Page fifty nine in your script" Kya said as if that explained everything. Mayuri dug into his pocket and pulled out the script Kya had provided them all with. He flipped to page fifty nine. He didn't see anything.

"What about it?" he asked confused.

"Right at the bottom" Kya instructed. Mayuri stared at the bottom of the page. Sure enough, if he looked hard enough, he could just make out the shadow of what appeared to be microscopic writing.

"What does it say?"

"You can't read it?" Mayuri once again glared. Kya continued. "Well... I say 'Oh hello Mayuri, nice to see you again'. Then you say 'Yes it is. Is there anything I could do for you?' Then I say 'As a matter of fact, there is. I would love to use your laboratory for a few days' Then you say 'Well, of course my dear. And might I say how wonderful you're looking today?' Then I say 'Thank you, Mayuri. I wish I could say the same for you, why on earth do you choose to wear that mask when you're perfectly handsome underneath?' Then you say 'It is only to hide my amazing handsomeness, so that others do not get jealous' Then I say 'oh, that's very sweet of you Mayuri, sacrificing yourself for the feelings of others' Then you say-"

"What?" Mayuri's screeching interrupted Kya.

"Well... I say 'Oh, hello Mayuri, nice to see you agai-"

"I heard you! But just because you wrote a script for a conversation does not give you permission to use my lab!"

"Really?" Kya asked, sounding genuinely as if she thought it did. "But I spent hours writing this drama between us"

"No it does not! I will not allow you to stay here!"

"But I've already started-"

"It does not matter! Leave! Now!" Mayuri pointed at the exit while shouting. Kya blinked.

"What about some of the materials I've made, they're highly unstable and if I don't continue they could explode and kill everyone within a five mile radius, and that wouldn't look very good to Yamamoto would it? Imagine, he's sitting in his chair when he learns of the explosion that killed many of his closest friends originating from _your_ headquarters, ooooh, he'd be mad."

Mayuri narrowed his eyes. This woman was a pain in the ass.

"Fine, you can stay! But if you break anything I'll personally make sure your limbs won't function for years!" he gave in.

"Yay!" Kya exclaimed. Mayuri just turned on the spot and stomped out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

Kya looked at the table in front of her.

"Better not let Mayuri know about this..."

With one swift motion she brushed the dismembered pieces of the electrolysis machine into the waste paper bin. It was the third one she had tried to use. The first two had all disintegrated when she used too high a power source.

But what he didn't know couldn't hurt him, right?

----------------------------------------------------------------

_**Rf**_**: For those of you who didn't know, Mayuri IS handsome under the mask! Just go search google and you'll see I'm right.  
**_**Gin**_**: More handsome than me?  
**_**Rf**_**: Of course not my Ginny-Gin! But I bet HE knows who the backstreet boys are... –glares-  
**_**Gin:**_** -runs away to avoid another throttling-  
**_**Rf:**_** AND Mayuri doesn't run away!**

_**Am I original? Yeeaaah...  
**__**Am I the only one? Yeeaaah...  
**__**Am I sexual? Yeeaaah...  
**__**Am I everything you need? You better rock you body right.**_


	34. Sister!

**Yeah, soz this one took so long to get out. Things have been, uh, complicated, which means I haven't been in the best comedy writing mood. As well as that I've had tonnes of homework and parents' consultation evening at my school. My art teacher rules. She said it was students like me that made teaching enjoyable. So YAY! for her.**

**Chapter 33 :**** Sister!**

-------------------------------------------------------------------

"And so I've come to the conclusion that all of your mothers must have been weird mutant fish people!"

A few people blinked. Most were just asleep.

Kya had gathered the actors for the second rehearsal over an hour ago. During that time she had been undertaking a long rant while they all sat on the floor in a circle about why their acting skills were so useless. About half way through almost everyone was already sleeping or plain ignoring what she was saying. Apparently their bad acting skills were the fault of all their failures in life. Somehow this meant to her that their fathers must have been goats and their mothers fish.

Kya's reasoning was at her usual high quality.

It seemed with this end to her speech she realised how many people were in the middle of snoring.

"Humping son of a sacrifice!"

Kya's shout immediately caused everyone to look fully alert.

"That's better, isn't it?" she asked them all. Her methods for waking people certainly were..._ unusual_.

"Is it time to actually get on with the acting yet?" Rukia whispered to a yawning Renji, as if he'd know what Kya was on about. Renji shrugged. Kya instead answered.

"Well, Rukia, I have one more small matter to attend to before the rehearsal can commence." People sighed again and decided to go back to sleep. "Oh, it's not another explanation! It involves you doing things!"

People looked up doubtfully. What was it that Kya wanted to do to them?

Kya reached into one of her sleeves and from somewhere pulled out a small bottle of thick bright purple liquid. The cork stopper was the only thing preventing it from spilling out as she shook it in front of her face and inspected the contents. This was what she had spent three painful scientific days trying to make. There would only be enough of it for a couple of attempts, it had better work.

Eyes stared at the curious bottle Kya was holding, now completely terrified of what she had planned.

"Ken-chan, stand up, would ya?" Kya said while still peering into the bottle.

"Why?" Zaraki asked carefully. He did not want to trust Kya when it came to strange looking liquids in suspicious bottles.

"Because I want someone to test this out on"

That was not the best thing Kya could have said to reassure Zaraki that she wasn't going to kill him.

Reluctantly, Zaraki stood up and stepped towards Kya. She faced him and, despite the massive difference between their eye-levels, looked him straight in the unpatched eye.

"Right, I want you to close your eyes" Kya told him. He just stared back suspiciously. She added, "both of them, including the one you keep under that pirate accessory"

She looked off to the side thoughtfully and when she next spoke it was as if she was in a dream.

"I wish I had a parrot..."

Eyes simultaneously changed to dots. Zaraki's, however, did not. He did not want to look away and risk Kya accidentally killing him with whatever that purple gunk was.

"Oh come on Ken-chan!" Kya said exasperatedly, "It's not gonna kill you... at least, I think it won't"

Grudgingly, Zaraki slowly closed his eye, or eyes, no one could tell.

Kya reached up and placed her index fingers on his temples.

"Ok, I want you to imagine your character. Not you as that character, the character in reality, as if they were a real person"

Zaraki grumbled at the thought of his character. He didn't like pretty girly princesses.

"Right, you picturing them?" Kya asked

Zaraki nodded.

"Now, stick out your tongue"

Zaraki's eyes flew open. What did she just say?

"Oh, Ken-chan! Now we have to start again!" she exclaimed, frustrated at Zaraki's unwillingness to cooperate. He glared at her. "Look, it's fine! I tested this on many frogs before coming here, and none, ok, _one_, died, but that frog was old anyway. So you should be fine with this! Surely a tough ol' geezer like you isn't scared of a few drops of liquid?"

Zaraki just grumbled before closing his eyes again. Kya sighed before beginning the process again.

"Right, are you picturing your character?"

Zaraki nodded angrily.

"Now, stick your tongue out"

This time Zaraki complied, albeit a little resentfully. Kya dropped her hands from his temples and popped open the glass bottle. A thin waft of purple smoke drifted out of it. She reached up then paused and looked at her hands thoughtfully.

"Hang on, don't move a muscle... and keep think of your character!" she cried to Zaraki as she ran over to the other side of the room.

She returned holding a small crate. She placed it down in front of Zaraki and successfully stepped onto it.

That was better. Now she could actually reach Zaraki while still having control of her limbs.

"Still thinking of them?" she asked with her hand holding the bottle in front of Zaraki's nose. Again he nodded. Kya almost laughed at the sight of him nodding, eyes slammed shut and tongue stuck out. It was a very funny sight.

She tipped the bottle slightly. One, two, three drops of the purple liquid dropped onto his outstretched tongue. Kya then steppe down and put the stopper back into the bottle.

Zaraki licked his tongue back into his mouth, Kya's invention now entering his system.

The change was almost instant.

Zaraki whipped his eyes open and grinned manically. People gasped in terror at his new-found smile.

"Well, hello everyone"

People blinked.

What the hell had just happened?

Zaraki's voice had just done a back flip on itself.

Instead of the usual masculine gruntiness that came forth from his mouth, his voice now was, despite it still being recognisable as himself, well, somehow more_ feminine_. And he actually seemed genuinely happy to be there. He waved frantically, still grinning, at Momo. This was not how Zaraki was meant to be.

"Hiyaaa!" he, the only way to put this, squealed.

"What the-" five people said at once. Yachiru jumped up and ran to Zaraki's side.

"Ken-chan! What's happened to you?" she cried desperately.

"What do you mean, deary?" Zaraki in return asked.

"_Deary_? Noooo! Ken-chan!" Yachiru continued to yell, now completely heart-broken at Zaraki's new-found campness. She clung onto his leg and started wailing.

"Aww, there, there, little one, there's nothing to be worried about" Zaraki tried to comfort Yachiru, patting her pink hair softly. This only made her scream louder.

Zaraki looked up and seemed to only just realise who he was standing next to.

"Sister! When did you get here? I've missed you so much!"

Hitsugaya lost his usually cold exterior and yelped when Zaraki ran over and squeezed him in a death hug. The sight of the small white haired boy being hugged by his muscular manly 'sister' made Matsumoto want to howl with laughter.

"What have you done?" Hitsugaya finally managed to shout while pointing at Kya accusingly. A look of obviously fake innocence crossed her face.

"Oh, not much" she chimed.

Hitsugaya managed to wiggle his way out of Zaraki's grasp and run over to where Kya was standing. He reached out his arms in an attempt to strangle her but stopped when he heard something. An ear-piercing scream sounded from the other side of the room.

Hitsugaya wheeled around on the spot to have his eyes widen in shock.

Momo was running furtively around trying desperately to avoid Zaraki's increasingly closer body.

"But you're my prince!" Zaraki cried while gaining on the terrified girl.

"I'm not a prince!" Momo cried as tears started to seep from her eyes.

It was too late.

Zaraki reached her and picked her up in a huge bear-hug.

"I wove you toooo!" he chimed.

He brushed their noses together. It almost would have been cute, if it wasn't for the fact that this was Zaraki and anything Zaraki did could never be described as cute. Momo tried and failed to escape. It was when Zaraki was about to bring down his lips on hers when someone finally worked up enough courage to step in.

The wood of the chair splintered as it landed firmly on Zaraki's head.

Hitsugaya stood furiously behind him.

Kya just watched and tried not to laugh.

Zaraki turned to face Hitsugaya, having not flinched in the slightest at the sudden presence of a chair on his head. He immediately dropped Momo and she scurried away.

"Sister! Why did you do that?" Zaraki squealed. Hitsugaya's expression changed from one of fury to one that looked petrified.

He regained his sense as Zaraki started to charge after him, tears streaming from his eyes, in an attempt to embrace his sister.

"Why, sister? Why did you do that?"

Two blurs flew around the room. Hitsugaya was desperate to avoid another hug from Zaraki and Zaraki seemed desperate to hug him.

"What exactly did you give him?" Ikkaku yelled at Kya, now clearly worried about the mental health of his captain.

"Oh, you know, just a little concoction of mine. It's meant to make him believe that he actually is his character, therefore making him a better actor!" she was practically boasting. No one was pleased with this. Kya put a finger to her chin in thought.

"Maybe I made it a tad too strong..."

"Go away, you freak!" Hitsugaya yelled over his shoulder at the crazy looking man chasing him.

"Oh, don't worry, it should wear off in a couple of hours" Kya continued while ignoring the shouts.

"A couple of hours? And what are we meant to do with him in the mean time?" Ikkaku continued to bark.

"No idea"

"What do you mean 'no idea'?"

Kya ignored the third seat's cries.

"Hmm... maybe I should try to make one that is slightly weaker... of course it could go wrong and I could actually make it stronger..."

Almost every Shinigami in the room screamed in response.

"No!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------

**_Rf_: haha! Zaraki acting as a girl is so jks! It's almost as jks as the Shinigami Golden Picture Book with Byakuya where he turns and is framed by happy bubbles! I almost wet my pants when watching that!  
****_Gin_: It's not as good as my Arrancar explanations  
****_Rf_: Well, of course not... your Arrancar explanations make everything better! –creepy grin-  
****_Gin_: -mirror reflection of my creepy grin-**


	35. Cat Impersonations

_**Rf**_**: Welcome one and all to the wonderful world of Rose! It is fantastic to see you all again!  
**_**Byakuya**_**: -suddenly steps into my room and looks around-  
**_**Rf:**_** OMG! Byakuya! What are you doing here?  
**_**B:**_** I heard that Gin had been spotted here. I was ordered to eliminate him...  
**_**Rf:**_** umm... –laughs nervously while shoving Gin back into the cupboard- nope, he's not here!  
**_**B:**_** -suspicious stare-**

**Chapter 34 : Cat impersonations**

---------------------------------------------------------------

Kya had given up on the whole magic potion that turned Shinigami into whoever they were thinking about idea. Actually, to be more precise, she was forced to give up on the idea. After the tiny Zaraki event, no one had let her come even close to them, let alone allow her to give them any suspicious liquids or pills. Everyone apart from Byakuya, of course. He wouldn't let such a minor thing stop him from seeing her. He did, however, keep a close eye on her when she was pouring tea. He didn't want to be turned into a moron who believed him to be a cat. That was not something he aspired to in afterlife.

It was for this reason that Kya was forced to endure the painful experience of watching the others rehearse the play without any sort of scientific improvements – apart from Mayuri, but he was scientifically improved in whatever he did.

Granted, they did seem to be putting in a bit more effort than before. This was probably because they were terrified of another of Kya's crazy ideas to help them, if you could call it _help_.

"Cut! No, no, no!" Kya again interrupted the actors, "You're not _angry_, Renji! You're _understanding_!"

"Maybe you should _understand_ sanity a little more..." Renji muttered under his breath. It did not go unnoticed by Kya.

"Renji, I understand sanity perfectly well!... I just don't agree with its views..."

Renji fell over. And from the muffled clomp from behind the curtain; it sounded as if Hisagi did too.

Kya sighed and turned to face the set workers. They were busy painting some cut out trees on the side of the room not occupied by the now erect stage area. Every now and then they would look up and peer strangely at the bizarre sight of the acting before them. They couldn't believe Kya would manage to make this a serious performance.

"Hey! You with the red belt!" Kya called over her shoulder to one particular Shinigami. "You agree with me, right?"

"Umm.. with what?" the girl stuttered nervously as she spoke. Kya could be quite scary.

"About Renji being a crumby actor"

The girl looked around quickly, not knowing how to reply to that. She looked at Renji briefly. She was sure he would just explode if she did agree with Kya. Then again, if she didn't Kya may just feel the need to rip her eyes out with a plastic spoon. She looked between the two people desperately. What was she meant to do? Thankfully, she was saved when the door burst opened.

"Taicho! I brought that parcel you asked for!"

"No she didn't! Taicho! It was me who brought the parcel!"

"Don't lie, you idiot! It was me! You just followed me around!"

"Why would I do that, you fool? If anything, it was you who was following me around!"

Kya blocked out the sounds coming from Kiyone and Sentaro's mouths. She had grown used to Joshiro's eccentric third seats over the last couple of weeks, and now she didn't even have to listen to them to know what they were saying. She looked at them, still blocking out their voices, and made the conversation up in her mind as she suspected it was going.

_'I can't believe you think Taicho likes you more!'_

_'Well, I can't believe you think Taicho doesn't know about you watching him when he's sleeping!'_

_'At least I don't peep at him while he's in the shower!'_

_'At least I don't try to put love potions in his morning tea!'_

_'At least I don't have a shrine dedicated to him in my room!'_

_'At least I don't kiss a poster of him every night before going to sleep!'_

_'At least I don't fantasise about kidnapping, raping and then brutally murdering him!'_

_'At least I don't dress up like him at the weekends and pretend to be in love with myself!'_

Ok, maybe it wasn't exactly like that, but Kya was sure it was something similar. Besides, even if they didn't actually say those things, she was sure they were thinking it. Those two were quite psychotic, but Kya found that property quite nice in a person. Maybe she should try to get to know these two more.

Both Kiyone and Sentaro shut themselves up when their captain stepped towards them and thanked them both equally for bringing him the parcel. Of course, this started a whole new argument about who he had thanked more sincerely, but it was short lived when Joshiro took the parcel and told them he had the slightest headache. Neither of them spoke again for the rest of the rehearsal.

----------------------------------------------------------------

"Oh come on, Byakuya! Put a little more effort into it!"

Byakuya narrowed his eyes at Kya. This was not a thing he should have to put effort into.

Actually, he shouldn't have to put effort into anything. He was head of the Kuchiki clan. People both feared and admired him. No one made him do anything which would make him work his perfect little behind off.

Except Kya.

God, she annoyed him.

"And so the prince came across an old cottage in which an ancient hermit took residence" he spoke without a trace of emotion behind the words.

Kya looked at him expectantly.

After a solid minute of waiting silence he finished the line.

"Meow..."

Kya pouted at his failure at sounding like a cat. He had just spoken the word 'meow', not too keen on the idea of actually meowing in front of people, or in private for the matter.

"Byakuyaaa! That's not what a cat says!" Kya complained.

"I didn't think this whole dialogue was something a cat would say" he told her

"Yes, and that is why we need to include some parts that a cat would!"

Byakuya just continued to stare at her. She sighed.

"Ok, fine, look Byakuya, if you do say this then I'll do that thing you wanted me to do last night" Kya tried to bribe.

Giggles came from around the room. Byakuya looked at the culprits and they shut up under his cold stare.

"Please?" Kya asked redirecting his attention back to her.

Now it was his turn to sigh.

He looked up and put on his best proud face. If he had to do this, then at least he would do it with a little bit of dignity.

He breathed in and then let out the faintest hint of a meow.

It wasn't that good an impersonation of a cat.

Despite this, squeals from where the scenery painters were clearly resounded throughout the room. It was all too adorable.

Kya's impression of a cat seemed much more realistic than Byakuya's.

As soon as the squeals started up she whisked around on the spot, arched her back, bared her teeth and hissed violently at the group of squirming girls.

They immediately shut up and scrambled away to the opposite side of the room. The huddled group of women stared wide eyed at the ferocious catwoman in front of them, terrified she would jump on them and start clawing their throats open with her fingernails.

Kya glared and slowly turned back to the now shocked looking actors on stage.

"Continue" she said calmly.

They actors started running around the stage wildly in an attempt to act. They didn't want to anger this Kya any further.

"The Prince explained his situation to the hermit and all the time the hermit listened carefully" Byakuya said in his usual cold voice as if nothing out of the ordinary had even occurred.

Kya looked at him expectantly again.

Again he sighed.

"Purr..."

"Byakuya! Do this properly!" Kya complained again at Byakuya's habit of saying words instead of pronouncing them.

This time Byakuya just glared at Kya as he made a gruff purring noise.

Kya swept around again at the lone squeal that had escaped the still whimpering group of painters. The woman standing next to the culprit of the squeal slapped her hand down onto the other's mouth in an attempt to silence her.

"Mine" Kya growled at them before turning back to the stage.

"Wow, a tiny bit possessive are we, Kya?" Shunsui joked. Kya's eyes remained narrowed as a sadistic smile crossed her lips.

"Ok, I think the first scene needs a little more practice. Mayuri, Shunsui, let's take it from the line before the kiss"

Oooh, revenge was sweet.

----------------------------------------------------------

"What's in that parcel anyway, Joshiro?" Kya asked the white-haired captain as they sat next to each other, enjoying the break Kya had given the actors.

"Oh my! I almost forgot!" he exclaimed while looking to his left where Hitsugaya was sitting.

"Shiro-chan! I got you a present!" he told the boy wonder happily. Hitsugaya's cold expression didn't change.

"What is it this time?"

"Open it and find out!" with this Joshiro pulled the parcel out of his pocket and handed it over to Hitsugaya. He eyed it nervously. He hadn't had the best experience with Joshiro's gifts in the past.

Warily, Hitsugaya started untying the white string that held the brown paper of the parcel together. When it was free he slowly opened it.

He blinked at the contents.

"What am I meant to do with this?" he asked Joshiro frustrated.

"Well, you can put it on your desk and admire it every day!"

"What is it?" Kya nosily peered over at what Hitsugaya was holding. "Oh, my God! That's so cute! When did you take it?"

In Hitsugaya's hands was a small oval picture placed in a delicate silver frame. The picture was of him and Joshiro with their arms over each other's shoulders while smiling as if they were the best of friends.

"Yes, when _did_ you take this?" Hitsugaya said getting slightly angrier. In all his memory, he could not remember a time when he and Joshiro had smiled together.

"Photoshop" Joshiro answered.

"Really? I didn't know you could use Photoshop?" Kya asked now intrigued

"Well, yes, I can-"

Hitsugaya just blocked out the annoying sounds that these two were making.

He tucked the picture into the paper and then put it in his pocket.

He was sure he would chuck it over the nearest cliff as soon as he left the rehearsals.

He didn't want to ever see that monstrosity again.

-----------------------------------------------------------

_**Rf**_**: Sooo... Byakuya, how you doing?  
**_**B:**_** -just stares-  
**_**Rhea's mum**_**: -appearing out of nowhere- I came as soon as I heard! Where's that tasty Byakuya hiding?  
**_**Rf:**_** ...I really got to make sure I close the door to the house sometime...  
**_**Rhea:**_** - also appearing out of nowhere- Mum! You can't like Byakuya, I like him!  
**_**Rhea's mum:**_** Oh, we can share!  
**_**B:**_** O.O**

**Rhea's mum rocks with her awesome taste in guys! When my mum saw Byakuya she just said 'why does he have corrugated cardboard in his hair?' That did not improve our already complicated relationship...**


	36. Morning Peace

**I had my birthday party yesterday, well, actually, it was more like a get together, just a meal and a film with a few mates. I really could not be arsed to organise anything else, and there is no way I am having a house party. Why don't I just save myself some bother and set fire to my house myself? My actual birthday is on the 24****th****, but I'm away over that week so I had it yesterday. It was propa good. We went to this Hawaiian restaurant and the waitress was well cool. I ate way too much though, and then I had ice cream and a frap at the movie. My stomach has swollen to the size of a beach ball...**

**Chapter 35 : Morning peace**

----------------------------------------------------------------

Kya's hand reached out next to her as she awoke from her peaceful sleep. Slowly her eyes fluttered open only to be met by the plain white pillow on which her head was resting. Early morning sunlight flittered through the thin paper door and added a subtle yellow glow to her surroundings. It couldn't have been later than eight o'clock.

With a slight yawn Kya sat up and looked around the room. It was empty. It was always empty when Kya woke up. Byakuya had a thing about getting up early. Too early, in Kya's opinion. How he always managed to leave without waking her was something that constantly puzzled her. It wasn't as if she was a heavy sleeper, so surely the movement should have stirred her. But no, every time she rose she was greeted by the same plain room while she lay alone on the futon. Maybe she'd surprise him one day by getting up before him.

Standing up and walking towards the small wardrobe in the corner, she pondered if she would ever be able to do this. The only answer she came up with was probably not, she needed her sleep too much. After reaching the wardrobe she pulled out the plain black sleeping yukata and pulled it around her loosely.

She walked over to the other side of the room where there was a small table with a highly polished vanity mirror sitting upon it. Placed in the centre of the table was a small cup of tea. Kya felt the edge of the cup with her fingers. It was still hot.

Somehow, Byakuya always managed to tell when she was going to wake up and prepare tea for when she did. She would have to ask him about how he could tell the exact time for her waking. The only reason she could come up with was that he contained weird mutant magic powers. For some reason, that didn't seem completely likely.

She placed the cup to her lips and took a sip of the hot liquid. She caught a glance of her reflection in the mirror. Wow, she looked a mess. Her hair was chaotic after_ someone_ had decided to yank the hair band out of it last night. The top half was just a confusion of purple waves and the thin section at the bottom was now mucked up in a layer of dried sweat. She quickly reached for a hair band and started trying to make it look a tiny bit respectable. She stopped when she noticed something.

The strange purple-red mark on her neck was undeniable.

And Shunsui thought _she_ was the possessive one. At least she didn't constantly feel the need to mark him like an animal would.

Maybe she would just leave her hair down for the next couple of days.

Abandoning the idea of tying her hair up, she picked the cup off the table and made her way towards the sliding door that led to the garden. She opened it and looked out at the green that shone before her eyes. The sun must have been up for a couple of hours now, but was still low enough in the sky to cast an orange sheen on everything. The fresh dew on the grass made everything shimmer in the light and the sound of birds singing added to the tranquil feeling.

It was so peaceful here.

In fact, it was so peaceful that if Kya had not been in the serene mood she was, it may have unnerved her slightly. Stillness like this was usually a sign of coming danger to her. It never lasted long and when it was over all hell would take hold. However, at this point in time, with everything seeming so perfect, none of that mattered. Kya couldn't help but feel that maybe for once in her life, everything would turn out all right.

She leaned against the frame of the doorway as she took a silent sip from her tea.

"Morning" she said quietly to the other person there.

"You're up earlier than usual" Byakuya replied.

Kya looked over to where he was sitting on the bench of the veranda. His attention was firmly pasted to the thick book which resided in his hands and he didn't look up while speaking. He couldn't have been up long. He had yet to put on his captains' coat or the ancient family scarf that was so precious to him. His hair was still free of the kenseiken and fell loosely around his face. Those bloody kenseiken, always pulling back that perfect hair.

Kya knew she didn't need to answer that; it hadn't been a question, just a statement. Byakuya was so busy reading he may not even be able to hear any words she spoke.

Instead, Kya just continued to gaze at where he sat. He seemed so relaxed, as if he didn't need to pretend to be anything when he was here. She knew she was the only person he was like this around. His usually impenetrable shield of aloofness shattered when they were alone and he could just be his calm self. Kya loved it when he was like this. It let her know in that subtle way that he was free from anxiety and perfectly at ease around her.

"What are you reading?" she asked after five minutes of silence.

He held it up so she could see the cover while still looking at the contents. It was something about some Shinigami from centuries earlier. Not exactly Kya's idea of the pinnacle of excitement, but who was she to judge?

"Looks interesting"

Byakuya glanced up at her in response to the sarcasm. He didn't say anything but just redirected his attention back to the book. Kya stood up from her position against the doorframe and walked over to where he was. She sat down beside him on the bench and looked out at the garden. The tea cup was still cradled by both of her hands and she took in the warmth that it exuded.

She watched with interest as a lone sparrow hopped over the grass before her, occasionally pecking the ground in an attempt to find the food it craved. Her attention then shifted to the squirrel that was currently trying to reach a precariously placed branch in the tree to the right of the garden. It almost reached the limb, then slipped and tumbled down the four feet until it hit the ground. It was a moment later when it popped its head up from underneath its tail and looked around wildly as if wondering what had happened.

Kya chuckled quietly at the sight as the squirrel started scrambling back up the tree.

Byakuya looked at her and raised an eyebrow. Kya caught this in the edge of her vision and turned to him.

"Squirrel" she said as if it explained everything.

"Ok?" Byakuya replied while staring at Kya in an incredulous way. She just smiled before turning back to the garden.

"What are you doing today?" she asked instead of explaining any more about this squirrel.

"There have been reports of some disturbances in one of the middle districts of Rukongai. I am supposed to go and make sure they are nothing serious"

"What kind of disturbances?" Sending a captain to check out a couple of fights wouldn't be something Yamamoto would do. It would be a waste of resources. There had to be something else to the story.

"Two people with reasonably high spirit energy have been fighting in the streets. I am meant to go and see if they could enter the Shinigami Academy, which in turn would stop the fights." He answered absent-mindedly while peering at the book once again.

"Doesn't sound to me as if they'd make very good Shinigami if they keep on fighting without regards to anyone else"

"Maybe the Shinigami Academy could change that aspect of them"

"Maybe..." Kya frowned slightly as she spoke. In her experience, people like that didn't change so easily. Sure, there might be a few years of them quieting down, but sooner or later that side of them would awaken again and they would start fighting again. Only this time they would have been trained in fighting and could cause much more damage. Maybe there was a good reason for the fighting however; something that could be cleared up and they would turn out to be perfectly nice people.

"Can I go too?" Kya asked

Byakuya closed the book and looked at her closely.

"Why?" he said, clearly confused at Kya willingness to come along to such a trivial thing.

"Because it might be interesting, there may be some deep secret behind the fights that could help with a future mission of mine"

Byakuya's gaze remained its inspecting feeling.

"You know as well as I do how unlikely that is" he spoke after a minute of trying to judge what Kya was doing.

"I'm just... curious, you know?" Kya said slightly airily.

"Ok then" Byakuya said still wary in case Kya was planning something to satisfy her more devious side. That devious side could be pretty darn tricky.

Kya sighed and leaned her head against his shoulder. She closed her eyes and took in the scent of everything around her. The smell of flowers mixed with the earthy early morning air, all of which was overpowered by the subtle fragrance coming from Byakuya's robes. She felt his hand start running through her already messed up hair, but didn't care. It was all just so comfortable here with him.

His lips gently brushed against her forehead and she became aware of the gentle weight of his hand resting on her waist.

"Mmm..." she mumbled softly under her breath with her eyes still closed.

Right there, in Byakuya's arms, she felt as secure as if she was being protected by the entire world. Nothing could disturb this peace.

She wouldn't let it.

---------------------------------------------------------------

**Fluff again, whoopee! **

**Rhea's present rocks! It's a Bleach 2008 calendar, with months dedicated to Urahara, Byakuya and Gin! So now it is currently March 2008, next week it will be April, the week after that will be July, and the week after that will be March again. It's such a distraction though; I will never be able to do any homework in my room ever again because of its buff manly charms.**

**At the restaurant last night my friend Heta asked the waitress for a blowjob. It was a cocktail, ok? Not anything else diiirrrty... But apparently my stupid mother told them we were under 18 and they wouldn't serve us any alcohol.**

**My dad also told me today that he was scared of looking in my room in case he found anything he wouldn't like... thank you for your overwhelming trust in my morals, father...**


	37. They Know

**My brother's returning from Uni tomorrow for the night! Yay! You see, I actually get on with my brother; we're pretty similar in our weird sense of humour and joke around a lot about stuff. He'll probably just go out partying though and leave me behind :( oh well, at least I get to see him.**

**Chapter 36 : They know**

---------------------------------------------------------------

"He fondled my adopted daughter!"

"Yes, but he says your adopted daughter fondled him first"

This was starting to get old. After choosing to go check out the disturbance in Rukongai that Byakuya was assigned to Kya had happily followed him along to find these feuding men. She was beginning to regret her decision. They appeared to just be a couple of argumentative idiots that were fighting over some irrelevant matter. Kya had spent the past fifteen minutes trying to get one of them to apologise, but neither had budged. One was adamant that his precious daughter had been molested by some pervert. The other was adamant that he had done nothing but date a pretty girl that had asked him out.

Really, this should have been easy to settle.

"That's not the point! She's only fifty seven!"

"She's old enough to decide what she wants for herself!" the younger man shouted in return.

Kya glanced pleadingly at Byakuya, who had by now taken to sitting outside a small café while drinking tea. Honestly, he could at least try to help.

"She doesn't know what she wants!"

"Well she did last night!"

"What did you say?"

"You heard me!"

The older of the two rushed forwards with his fist clenched, wishing to knock the head off this man who had so cruelly deflowered his daughter. The younger man stood there and raised his fists, ready to counter the attack.

It never came.

Before the older man had a chance to get close to the younger, he had tripped and fallen flat on his face in the dust. Kya's foot was outstretched behind his crumpled body. It was the easiest way to stop him, after all.

"Ok, ok" she announced fully exhausted with the lame insults, "look, this is how I see it. You" she pointed at the man on the ground "are being way too overprotective! For god's sake, let her do what she wants! If you get too strict she's just going to rebel in the other direction anyway!"

The body in the dirt twitched.

"And you" Kya turned her finger to the smug looking man a few meters down the street, "should know better than just gallivanting off around the place with the woman without even considering the feelings of her parents!"

The smug look vanished and was replaced by shock at Kya's words.

"You're both as bad as each other! Now, why don't you just go talk to the girl and ask her what she wants? I'm sure it won't be for both of you to keep arguing like this!" Kya declared slightly angrily. "Now if you don't mind, I'm going to go and try to enjoy the rest of my day without having to sort out pointless fights!"

And she stormed off down the road, leaving the two men speechless. Well, one at least, the other might not have even been conscious.

"Well spoken" Kya continued to walk forwards in a huff while ignoring the other person.

"You really didn't need to do that though, we could have just left them there after seeing they weren't really the type for the Shinigami Academy" Kya stopped and glared at Byakuya, who had flash stepped in order to catch her up in the street.

"And leave them fighting like that while the poor daughter has to endure it?" she questioned. Byakuya didn't say anything. Kya sighed and the angry look in her eyes disappeared. "Sorry, it's just, people like that should just think a bit more before they act, it's not as if they're achieving anything by fighting non-stop, is it? That kind of stupidity just gets on my nerves"

"I know" Byakuya said gently.

They started walking again, this time Kya no longer stamping her feet in annoyance, and soon they were just wandering the streets peacefully, neither in a hurry to get anywhere.

Then Kya stopped.

Her eyes were glued to a fixed spot on the other side of the road and were wide in what seemed like nervousness. Byakuya glanced to where she was looking. He didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Then he remembered something and sighed.

"Don't move." Kya whispered to him while remaining perfectly still.

"It's nothing, Kya" Byakuya told her plainly, trying to get her to move.

"What do you mean it's nothing?" she hissed at him sideways still not moving. "It's a... a... a..."

"Dog?" he finished for her. The little brown dog sitting outside a shop on the other side of the road lifted its leg and scratched behind its ears.

"Yes, a vicious, blood-thirsty hound!" Kya's voice remained low and her eyes didn't leave the dangerous dog that was now licking itself.

"It'll be fine, just continue walking"

"It won't be fine!" Kya shushed, "They're plotting to kill us all, you know? You can see it in their eyes, the tyranny of someone planning to rip off your nose when you least expect it. Then you won't be able to smell and you won't take these beasts so lightly anymore, will you?"

Byakuya rolled his eyes before returning his attention to the mutt that was watching with great interest an ant move along the path before it.

"They're plotting. They sneak up on you in the middle of the night and clip your toe nails. They're dangerous, I tell you!" Kya's fierce whispers had Byakuya wondering if she was being serious or just taking the piss. The fear in her eyes though made him realise that she genuinely was terrified of the little puppy.

"And..." she lowered her voice further to avoid the creature from hearing them "... they know."

"They know what?" Byakuya asked while sighing again.

"Exactly"

"Have you been drinking?"

Kya leant sideways towards him and the tone in her voice when she next spoke told him she was not lying.

"...no"

"You know what? Maybe you're right. Actually, maybe that isn't even a dog, maybe it's a evil spirit that has disguised itself as a dog in order to take over Soul Society" Byakuya said mockingly. Kya didn't recognise the faint hint of sarcasm.

"I don't think so"

-------------------------------------------------------

After escaping from the life-threatening event which was seeing a ferocious monster of a hound, Kya had decided to go visit Matsumoto. She felt as if she had been neglecting her recently with the whole Byakuya thing. She had hung out with her less than usual and had only drunken with her once this week. That was far too few in both Kya's and Matsumoto's opinions. They should go out every night and have fun!

Kya was sitting opposite Matsumoto at the small table in the tenth division captain and lieutenant office. Hitsugaya had gotten thoroughly frustrated at the two women about half an hour ago and had stomped off to find somewhere quieter to finish his paperwork. Matsumoto didn't even bat an eyelid at his departure. It gave them time to talk about more pressing matters, after all.

"So how are things going with Byakuya? I'm so happy you're back together; you guys make such a cute couple!" she asked.

"Things are awesome at the moment" Kya replied just as excited at the prospect of a good girly chat.

"Really? That's so cool! Have you said the words yet?"

"Yes! It was so romantic and even though we'd said it before, it was like an entirely separate thing from then!"

Matsumoto squealed. Oh, the gossip. Well, possible gossip, Matsumoto wouldn't actually spread these facts, even if they were true, they were Kya's private things.

"To be honest, Kya, I was kind of thinking you guys wouldn't manage it. Byakuya was just so upset last time you left, I didn't think he would be able to forgive you. But here you are telling me you've already told the other you love them! It's fantastically great!"

"I know!" Kya shouted back happily in response. "Now... how are thing going for you?"

"Oh, you know, this and that" Matsumoto tried to dismiss the question. Kya didn't miss the tone in her voice.

"Still thinking about Ichimaru?" she asked suddenly turning serious.

"Of course not! That would be ridiculous!"

Kya gave Matsumoto a sympathetic look at the blatant lie. Matsumoto just looked down and sighed.

"Yes..." she admitted quietly.

"Just don't beat yourself up over it, it wasn't your fault" Kya tried to comfort her.

"Then why?" Matsumoto whispered in response. How had this happy girly chat turned into such a depressing talk so quickly?

"Because he didn't think it through thoroughly" she told her calmly.

Matsumoto looked up at Kya and she saw the hurt in her friend's eyes. How could Gin do that to her? It wasn't as if they weren't happy.

"How do you know?" Matsumoto asked Kya in a whisper.

"Because I did the same thing myself, remember"

"That was different; you had a reason to go"

"Maybe he did too"

"What reason?" Matsumoto said while sighing. Kya was just trying to comfort her and was avoiding telling her what she really thought; that Gin had been a stupid conspiring bastard that didn't deserve her thinking about him. How could she not though? He had saved her. She had loved him in return. It wasn't just something she could suddenly stop thinking about.

Kya couldn't answer that question. Truth was, she had no idea what Gin had been thinking when he had left. How could she console Matsumoto when she didn't know what had happened in the first place? She had been off in the real world in an underwater cave at the time, trying to complete a mission. It wasn't the best place to be to hear news of Seireitei.

Matsumoto's next word pierced Kya's heart with the unspoken sadness it conveyed.

"Exactly"

---------------------------------------------------------

**_Rf_: Aww! Ginny! Why did you do such a horrible thing to poor little Rangiku?  
****_Gin_: It wasn't my fault!  
****_Rf_: You're pooey!  
****_Gin_: -sulk-  
****_Rf_: Anyway, I've been asked by someone about Kya's zanpaktou and what it is. It will come up in the story at some point; I'm just not sure when I'll first introduce it. There have been clues throughout the story of what it is, but they've been **_**very**_** subtle. I think the best clue was in this chapter, but it's not the most obvious thing that comes to mind, so you are now probably thinking the wrong thing. Mwahaha! Oh, the power!  
****_Gin_: -creepy smile returns-  
****_Rf_: Stop smiling and say it, you deserting ass!  
****_Gin_: -still smiling- Review?  
****_Rf_: Now back in the cupboard before Byakuya returns to shred you into nail clippings!  
****_Gin_: -sadly walks back into the cupboard and shuts the door-  
****_Rf:_ And that serves you right!**


	38. Missing

**Here's an interesting convo that happened between me and my brother yesterday...**

_**John: Now if you don't mind I'm going to go and finish writing another of my famous lib dem blogs**_

_**Rf: But blogs are for gaaayyyysss!!!**_

_**John: I'm not gay! Look, just because we're all men who sit in front of a computer and talk to each other while naked and staring at the other rub lotion into their body over the web cam does not mean we're not gay!**_

_**Rf: Doesn't mean you're not gay? That's a double negative...**_

_**John: Damn! You saw through my fiendish plan with your overpowering nerdness!**_

**Liberal Democrats are a political party here in the UK that my brother's a member of, coz he's super cool**

**This one's pretty darn long.**

**Chapter 37 : Missing**

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"Ken-chan! Let's go this way!"

Yachiru was hanging onto Zaraki's shoulder while he ran through the streets of Seireitei trying to find the place Kya had agreed to meet them. They were already ten minutes late and didn't seem to be getting any closer to their goal.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course! Ken-chan shouldn't doubt me!" Yachiru squealed in reply. Zaraki growled and then turned down the path Yachiru was pointing to.

Fifteen minutes later they came to another dead end.

"Ken-chan! Now let's try over there!" Yachiru shouted as she pointed off to the side.

"Are you absolutely positive this time?" Even though Yachiru was the person he felt closest to, he had learnt over experience not always to trust her instincts.

"Yeah!"

-------------------------------------------------------------

_An hour later_

"Ken-chan! You got us lost didn't you?"

------------------------------------------------------------

Kira woke up and scratched his head.

That bloody Matsumoto and her alcohol, always tempting him to join in the drinking shenanigans. How could he say no to her though? To those breasts?

Slowly, he sat up and looked around the unfamiliar room he was sprawled across the floor in. Where the hell was he this time? The dark grey walls and floors were something he was certain he hadn't seen before. An annoying bleeping noise was coming from one side of him and with every ping his headache increased threefold. He realised it was coming from the large oddly shaped screen that was displaying some information about some ancient artefact. Well, that was odd.

Then something hit him.

"Oh, god no"

The only places in the whole of Seireitei that would have something like that, be decorated in this bleak way, and turn him into a newt if he was found, all happened to be the same place. Here. Squadron headquarters of the twelfth division.

Not only that, but he was sure he was meant to be doing something else today.

This was bad.

-----------------------------------------------------------

"Sir! There's been another battle in the gang war of the fifty-sixth district!"

Hisagi turned around on the spot and lifted his head from reading the latest report his subordinate had given him.

"What? Really?" he asked with a tone none other than excitement.

"Yes! Should we go and disband the members immediately?"

Hisagi looked stunned at the suggestion. Why would they do that?

"No! This is an important event that has to be recorded for the best of Shinigami-kind!" he answered dramatically while waving a copy of the Seireitei news about in the air. The other Shinigami around the printing press just blinked.

It was when Hisagi reached the door before one of them spoke up.

"But sir, what about your meeting with Kya-sama?"

"She'll have to wait! This is news, dammit!"

And he ran out of the room brandishing a notepad and pen, ready to catch the real story behind these events. The officers just stared after him.

---------------------------------------------------------

"Nemu! Get over here now!"

"Yes, Kurotsuchi-sama?" Nemu asked nervously as she stepped through the door of her captain and creator's room only to blink in surprise.

"Where the hell is my mask?" Mayuri shouted. Nemu couldn't remember the last time she had seen him without the mask on. It felt strange seeing his scarred face again.

"I don't know, Taicho"

"You don't know? Why don't you know?" Mayuri screeched at her in frustration.

"Forgive me, I just don't know" she bowed her head. Mayuri just rummaged through his closet in search for where he could have possibly put his ever-so-loved mask. He didn't even seem to be paying attention to Nemu anymore.

"Excuse me, Kurotsuchi-sama, but we have to leave now if we want to be on time for the meeting with Kya?"

Mayuri spun around on the spot and glared at Nemu. She shrunk away a bit.

"I will not leave without my mask! I won't! I won't! I won't!"

Nemu sighed at her captain's sudden child-like complaining. His eyes were wider than usual and she was sure she could see the faintest traces of moisture forming in them.

"Of course, I'll help you look for it..."

------------------------------------------------------

"What the-"

Renji walked out of his room and into the corridor of his headquarters' dormitories. He stopped in his tracks as soon as he saw what was greeting him on the other side.

"Matsumoto?"

Before him, crumpled on the ground in a heap, was a very much asleep Matsumoto. Well, he assumed it was Matsumoto from the giant breasts and the messy strawberry blonde hair. He couldn't actually see her face. It was covered by a very familiar looking object.

"Matsumoto!" he shouted in an attempt to wake her.

She stirred and looked up at where the noise was coming from. God, she had a hangover. How much had she drunken last night?

"Oh, hey Renji" she said dreamily. Renji just stared at her. She noticed the look on his face "What's wrong?"

He didn't say anything but instead just walked back inside his room. Well, that was different from his usual reaction to finding her after a drunken escapade. A few seconds later he emerged from his room, this time holding a small object in his hand. Matsumoto stood up and he handed her the small hand mirror. She looked into it confused at why he was acting so peculiar.

As soon as she saw her reflection she dropped the mirror and the sound of it smashing mixed with her tremendous scream.

"What the hell has happened to my beautiful face?" she yelled at Renji.

"It seems to me as if you're wearing Mayuri's mask" Reni told her.

"Why the hell am I wearing his mask?" she cried desperately. "Get it off of me!"

Renji didn't waste time in helping the distressed woman. He didn't want to anger her any further by refusing to help. She may have just ripped his heart out.

"It won't budge!" he gasped as he pulled the mask and in turn Matsumoto's face.

"What do you mean it won't budge?" Matsumoto clasped her hands to her head and tried to remove the mask. As Renji said, it wouldn't budge. "Help!"

Renji again tried to shift the black and white monstrosity. He only succeeded in pulling Matsumoto's head forwards with it.

"Ow!" she cried. Then she remembered something that made her blood run cold. "I -!£?ing stuck it on with super glue!"

"Why would you do that?" Renji asked

"I don't know, do I? I was drunk!" and Matsumoto started sobbing desperately. She couldn't be stuck like this. No way.

"Ok, ok, no need to panic, look I'll help you try to get it off, maybe we can melt the super glue or something" Renji tried to calm her down. She looked up at him hopefully.

"Really?"

"Uh, yeah, sure..."

-------------------------------------------------------

"Taicho! Let me out of here this instant!" Nanao yelled while pounding with both her fists on the door of the small dark closet she had been locked into. By who? Well, by none other than her very own captain, that's who!

"Not until you take back what you said!" Nanao heard Shunsui shout in reply from outside the cupboard.

"But it was true! You are a perverted buffoon who does nothing but sleep and drink!"

"That doesn't mean you should say it to my face! It hurt my feelings!"

"You don't have any feelings!" Nanao positively screamed. She heard a small whimper through the wood of the door. Shunsui had taken that badly.

"Fine! I guess you don't want to be let out of there!"

"Wait! No! I mean..." Nanao quickly said after hearing what sounded like Shunsui preparing to leave the room with her locked in here for god knows how long. "Fine! You're not a perverted buffoon who does nothing but sleep and drink! Happy now?"

"I suppose..." Shunsui replied rather sorrowfully

"Will you let me out then?" she asked fully exasperated by her captain who she did think was a perverted buffoon that did nothing but sleep and drink.

"I will..." Nanao gulped at the frightening tone Shunsui was using, "...as soon as you tell that me you love me"

"What?" Nanao was back to shouting again. "Why would I do that?"

"Because it's true!"

"No it isn't!"

"Yes it is!"

"No it isn't!"

"Ok, but I won't let you out until you say it!" Shunsui bribed.

"There is no way in hell I will ever say that!"

"You just think about it in there. I'll be right here waiting for your answer"

---------------------------------------------------------

"Isane, what do you think about this?" Unohana asked her lieutenant.

"I'm not sure, Taicho, it's very unusual" Isane replied.

They both peered over at the new patients that had been admitted less than ten minutes ago.

"It wasn't my fault!" Joshiro blurted out from under the sheet.

"What do you mean it wasn't your fault?" Hitsugaya shouted in response from the bed opposite him. "It was your bloody present that exploded!"

"Oh, Shiro-chan, your welcome"

Unohana stopped Hitsugaya leaping up and smothering Joshiro to death with the forth division pillows.

"No one's to blame, what's important now is discovering how to treat you" she spoke calmly while looking at the chart in her hand.

Hitsugaya just mumbled something under his breath. Isane thought she heard the words 'stupid mental captain with his crazy ideas', but couldn't be certain.

"Hmm, now Joshiro, if you don't mind me asking, what exactly was this present?" Unohana asked

"Well, it was a very thoughtful gift of formula Mayuri created to help those in battle" the older of the two white-haired captains replied.

"And what was this formula?"

"It was supposed to create painful boils when thrown at your opponent's face." He answered. Hitsugaya sat up straight and glared icily at him.

"Supposed to? Well, it seemed to work pretty well then, didn't it?" he shouted angrily.

"Hitsugaya-Taicho, please don't strain yourself" Isane told him politely.

He slumped back down onto the pillow then groaned as he hit one of the many purple boils on his skin accidentally.

"Hmm, I've called for Kurotsuchi-Taicho, but apparently he hasn't been seen all morning. I could try some remedies that work on other forms of skin deformations, but there is no guarantee that they will work" Unohana said.

"Anything! Just get me back to normal again!" Hitsugaya yelled at her pleadingly.

"Ok, Isane and I will go and prepare it now"

----------------------------------------------------------

"Taicho, why are you still here, shouldn't you have left already for the meeting with Kya?"

"Umm... I would have..." Komamura replied almost sheepishly to his lieutenant.

"Then why haven't you?" Iba asked concerned

In response Komamura lifted up one of his hands, or paws to be more accurate. Iba blinked when he saw what had happened.

"Oh" was all he could say.

Attached to Komamura's paw was what looked to be the edge of one of the drawers to his desk. The fur was clearly tangled in the metal slider.

"You wouldn't help me, would you, Iba?" he asked looking embarrassed at having got caught by such a simple object.

"Of course!" Iba ran over to his captain and started trying to free him from the drawer's evil clutches.

"Ow!" Komamura snapped and he growled at Iba for pulling his fur.

"Maybe we should just cut your fur?"

Komamura just glared in response. Ok, maybe they wouldn't.

------------------------------------------------------

"Well the hell have you put it, Omaeda?"

Omaeda poked his head around the door of his captain's room. Soifon seemed absolutely hysterical.

"Where did I put what, Taicho?" he asked cautiously.

"You know what I mean!" she screamed as she suddenly appeared in front of his face, eyes narrowed to deadly slits. He backed away quickly and waved his hands in front of him wildly.

"I don't! I don't!" he tried to persuade her.

"Then where the hell is it?" she yelled frantically as she spun around and started riffling through her already turned-upside-down possessions.

"Where's what?" Omaeda asked trying to help his captain.

"The poster! My favourite poster!" Soifon shouted frenziedly.

"What poster?"

"The one I had made of Yoruichi-sama!" she screamed. "I'm not leaving until it has been discovered!"

"Umm... can I help?" Omaeda asked terrified of disobeying his captain while she was in this state.

"Yes! You search in the office and I'll continue to go through my things! I swear if anything has happened to it, I will murder whoever was responsible!"

Omaeda gulped.

----------------------------------------------------

The ninth seat of the fifth division was strolling down the corridors of his headquarters when he heard something very strange coming from the main office.

Curiously, he knocked.

There was no reply.

Being careful not to make any noise, he slowly opened the door and peered inside. He didn't like what he was seeing.

There, sitting curled up in the corner on the other side of the room, was a wide-eyed Momo. She was rocking back and forth and looked exactly as he imagined a crazy person would.

"Umm... Hinamori-sama?" he asked nervously

"He will return, he will, he will..." Momo mumbled to herself. "Aizen-Taicho will come back for me..."

The ninth seat immediately shut the door in front of him and started up the corridor again.

"Ok, then..."

------------------------------------------------------

Kya paced the length of the third division hall, bored out of her skull.

She had called this meeting for a very good reason, and after two hours of waiting, it was only Byakuya who had even bothered to show up.

She looked up at the clock on the wall again.

"Where is everyone?"

-------------------------------------------------------

**That was just random, I know, and wasn't particularly good, but oh well.**

**I was right! After the last chapter you are thinking the wrong thing about Kya's zanpaktou! No, it's not a cat; that would have been too blatant.**

**I'm going away on Friday to the Red Sea in Egypt, where there is literally nothing to do apart from scuba dive. But it should be fun! Me and my family try to go somewhere nice to dive at least once a year, and since we couldn't go in the summer we're going now. It means I probably won't be able to update for a week or so though, and I doubt I'll be able to get one up tomorrow with all the packing I have to do. I swear I'll try, either using my dad's comp or an internet café, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to. I'll write though, so when I get back I will probably put a lot up.**

**Just to let you know.**

**If you review I'll save the guinea pig and won't use its ears as bluetac!**


	39. Aftermath

_**Rf**_**: I'm baaaack!! And I'm 16! Finally! It feels like I've been 16 for 4 yrs now, but that's probably coz I got my ID 2 yrs ago and so it says I'm 20...  
**_**Rhea**_**: Welcome to the Cult of 16  
**_**Rf**_**: -jumping up and down on the spot manically- Oooo! What do I get?  
**_**Rhea**_**: Um... in the Uk?... err... you get to ride a moped?  
**_**Rf:**_** Rhea! I'm ashamed of you!  
**_**Rhea**_**: What did I do?!  
**_**Rf**_**: You missed out so many things!  
**_**Rhea**_**: Such as?  
**_**Rf:**_** I can get married, and smoke, although I can no longer buy cigarettes which is a completely ghey law in my opinion, and, most importantly... I can legally have SEX with anyone I want!!  
**_**Rhea**_**: -blank stare-  
**_**My friend Phi**_**: -randomly walks in while holding a clipboard- No, Rose, that would be rape –randomly walks out again-  
**_**Rhea**_**: -blank stare-  
**_**Rf**_**: Ohhh, Giiiinny, where are youuuu?  
**_**Gin**_**: -somehow locks cupboard door from the inside to keep me out-  
**_**Rhea**_**: Rose! No raping innocent anime characters!  
**_**Rf**_**: But- but- but-  
**_**Urahara**_**: -runs into the room out of breath- Did I hear the words '16', 'legally', and 'sex' in the same sentence?  
**_**Rf**_**: Kisuke!!  
**_**Urahara**_**: -realises it's me and runs out of the room again-  
**_**Rf:**_** Kisukeeee!! Don't leave me hereee!!  
**_**Rhea**_**: -blank stare-**

**Chapter 38 : Aftermath**

---------------------------------------------------------------

"Oh my God! Joshiro! Are you ok?" Kya burst through the door of the forth division and ran up to where Joshiro was lying in the hospital bed.

"I'm fine, I'm sorry to have disturbed what must have been a busy day for you" Joshiro replied

"Uh... yeah..." Kya's eyes shifted around the room nervously. Of course her day had been busy. In no way, shape or form had she just been standing around doing nothing, only crazy people and stalkers did that.

To avoid saying any more on the subject, Kya suddenly turned her attention to the person in the bed opposite Joshiro.

"Shiro-chan! Look who's come to see you!" she exclaimed excitedly "It's... me!"

Hitsugaya groaned as he rolled over and turned his back to Kya.

"Anyway," Kya turned back to Joshiro, "I came as soon as I heard what had happened. I must say, you look a lot better than I expected. I thought maybe your face would be unrecognisable with puss or something else gross"

"Fortunately, Unohana-Taicho is a fantastic healer" Joshiro answered kindly. Kya peered at him. The only traces that anything had even happened to him were the occasional purple blotches on his otherwise pale face. There seemed to be no signs of any boils anywhere, at least, that Kya could see, which was surprising seeing as they had only been admitted to the forth division five hours ago. Unohana really did know her stuff. But then again, she was the best healer Seireitei had seen for nearly six hundred years.

The door opened and two people stepped inside.

"Oh, Kya, how nice it is to see you again. I hope this is a social visit and not something medical related"

"No, no, I'm just visiting Joshiro" Kya answered Unohana's question. She stepped up so she was besides Joshiro's bed, Nemu following behind her.

"That's good to hear" She said while picking up a chart from the end of Joshiro's bed and starting to read from it.

"You!" Everyone in the room turned at the sudden sound of Hitsugaya's voice. He was sitting upright while glaring and pointing accusingly at Nemu.

"Yes, Hitsugaya-Taicho?"

Kya, Unohana and Joshiro looked oddly at Nemu. Had she just completely failed to see the anger in Hitsugaya's icy tone? If not then she had some goddamn steely nerves.

"Where is your Taicho? That freak put me here and I would very much like to strangle him!"

"He's... preoccupied at the current time" Nemu said after a moment of thinking

"Preoccupied? Doing what?" Hitsugaya shouted.

Just at that precise moment, the door again opened and in stepped an extraordinary sight. It appeared to be a captain, and not just any captain. Mayuri stood there in the doorway, as if he had sensed he was called by Hitsugaya.

But that wasn't what was extraordinary about it, for on his head, in place of his usual crazy mask, was a plain brown paper bag with holes cut out for eyes.

People blinked.

"Kurotsuchi-sama?" Nemu asked nervously.

"Yes? What is it?" he snapped back.

"Maayyyuuurrriiiiii!!!!"

Mayuri was suddenly knocked backwards and was engulfed by a mass of hair, robes and flesh.

He desperately tried to loosen Kya's grip around him and an anger mark was solidly plastered to his forehead, or where his forehead must have been underneath the bag.

"Get off of me, woman!"

"No! I'm so proud of you for not wearing your mask! It's as if you listened to my suggestions!" the clinging Shinigami cried. She added thoughtfully, "although, it would have been better without the bag, but one step at a time, eh?"

"What suggestions? Get off of me now!" Mayuri screeched.

Kya let go and looked at him quizzically.

"What do you mean what suggestions? All the ones I've made about you being the handsome devil you are and burning that mask in the pits of a volcano forever" she told him.

Another voice cut off what Mayuri was going to shout at Kya.

"Maayyyuuurrriiiiii!!!!"

This time it was not Kya that yelled or ran up to Mayuri, it was Hitsugaya. His eyes were wide with rage, icicles seemed to suddenly appear around the room and he leapt up from the bed and towards what must have been a shocked looking Mayuri. He was about to fulfil his dream of finally strangling the foul creature.

He stopped midair.

Unohana suddenly appeared between him and Mayuri. She was smiling sweetly.

"Hitsugaya-Taicho, please rest some more" she said in he usual voice.

Hitsugaya frowned at her. He glanced between her and the cowering Mayuri behind her, debating whether he should risk trying to murder him anyway. He decided against it and sorrowfully returned to his bed, pouting all the way.

"Taicho! Please come and look at this!" Isane had appeared in the doorway and looked slightly flustered.

"What is it?" Unohana asked

Isane looked at the paper bag covered Mayuri.

"It's... um... Matsumoto-san" she said nervously while still staring at Mayuri.

"Alright then, I'll return in a while to complete your treatment, Ukitake-Taicho and Hitsugaya-Taicho. Please don't exert yourself" Unohana left the room. Kya and Joshiro glanced between Hitsugaya and Mayuri. There seemed to be a dark cloud between them, and lightning shattered the air. Nemu was oblivious to this and continued to gaze into the distance.

"Sooo..." Kya tried to break the tension, "how've you all been?"

---------------------------------------------------------------

"Mayuri, I think I've discovered what has happened to your mask" Unohana said while walking up the corridor. After the painful fifteen minutes of silence in Joshiro's and Hitsugaya's room, well, what would have been silence if it wasn't for Kya and Joshiro asking random questions to try to save them from either freezing to death or being poisoned, Unohana had returned and asked if Mayuri would accompany her to see another patient. The holes in Mayuri's bag revealed the glare he was giving her as they made their way towards another room in the forth division.

Kya had decided to follow them, even without the invitation. Neither of them wanted to tell her to get lost so she was intently listening in on their conversation.

"Really?" Mayuri asked in a clearly surprised squeal.

"Yes" she answered plainly before stopping in front of a door. This caused Kya to walk into her. Unohana just ignored this and instead opened the door.

Renji was standing in the corner of the small room. Actually, maybe standing isn't the correct word; he was more leaping from side to side trying to dodge the projectile plates that were flying towards him.

"Good morning" Unohana said.

The plates stopped.

Kya glanced at where they had previously been thrown from. A sheet was quickly yanked up to cover the face of whoever was lying in the hospital bed. It was pretty obvious from the shape of the person who it was.

"Don't look at me!" Matsumoto shouted from under the screen of white.

"Rangiku! What's wrong?" Kya asked worried about her friend. She ran over to the side of the bed but recoiled when Matsumoto pulled the sheet down and sat upright.

"I am not a weird clown freak!" Matsumoto yelled defensively before anyone had even called her one.

Mayuri gasped and rushed towards Matsumoto, arms outstretched.

"My precious mask! I've missed you so much!"

---------------------------------------------------------------

The door of the cupboard suddenly faltered.

This book certainly was a useful commodity.

Nanao had, after four hours of trying to get her captain to let her out, finally managed to break the wood of the door with her trusty book.

Shunsui squealed as she leapt out and her eyes turned to rage filled sparkles.

"You idiot!" she screamed.

Shunsui tried to run.

He failed and was soon lying unconscious on the floor with Nanao standing proudly over him, the book raised in both hands above her head.

"I! Don't! Love! You!"

"You're such a tease..." Shunsui murmured under the birds and stars that were circling his head.

Nanao stomped off.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Kira huddled in the corner of the dark room. Tears streamed down his face which was hidden in his knees.

After seven hours of waking in the twelfth division headquarters, he still hadn't managed to find a way out. The door was locked from the outside, and there seemed to be no other exit.

He sniffed.

"Mommy..."

---------------------------------------------------------------

**So I'm back from Egypt, and as such I've got so much to tell you. **

**Firstly I should probably tell you I was no where near Cairo or the pyramids, so don't ask me about them. I was right at the north-east corner near Israel; if you're religious it might be better if I said Sinai Desert, you know, whole Moses thang. **

**It was so bizarre. There was just this hotel and on one side it was mountainous desert with no trace of life, and on the other was a deep blue ocean and camels would go past every now and then. Pretty odd if you saw it, I may put pics up on my bebo at some point so add me and have a look. My name's Rose Idiot, and there aint much else on there.**

**My mother is so annoying. She goes out for hours on the first day without any suntan lotion on and turns completely dark brown. I however, go out for ten seconds with an inch of sun cream smothering me and turn bright red. After the entire week I'm only slightly darker than my previous bright white. It's not fair! Up until I was ten I just had to step outside to turn brown, now it's impossible! Bloody vampire skin...**

**The diving was awesome, so many fish and crap. Although, my underwater camera was just annoying. I didn't take it on the first dive coz I thought I'd just get used to it again, then I took it on the second and managed to get some pretty decent pics, I forgot it on the third dive, on the forth I got about four before the memory card filled up, on the fifth it was on the wrong setting that I couldn't change underwater and so couldn't take any, and on the last couple of dives I was meant to have the next day I had major ear issues so couldn't go (I couldn't clear them, which means if I went down to normal depths of 20-25m they would have imploded under the pressure) and so I only got a fraction of the pics I wanted.**

**On the plus side, my dive guide, who is really not my usual type, was pretty darn fit. He was German though and his English wasn't that good. It was the first time in my entire life when I wished I had spent more attention in German class.**

**I did get a tiny bit fed up of my parents. At home its not so bad coz we only see each other half an hour a day, if that, but there was actually no where to escape from them there. They can be a tad frustrating at times. Add to that my nicotine deprivation, because they don't like me smoking around them, meaning I could only have a couple a day, and I was not in the best mood with them. **

**The journey back last night was just stupid. I wasn't feeling very well and couldn't sleep on the plane and I didn't really feel like reading. My dad gets into a really odd mood when travelling. First he gets into the 'ahhh we're all going to dieee!!' mood, then the 'rosie can protect me from all the evilness' mood, then the 'I'm gonna laugh like a loon for no reason' mood, and finally there's the 'shout at rose for getting into the wrong side of the car, even though it makes no difference whatsoever' mood. Also, on the flight there was this tiny little emo boy that looked about 12. I had to admit though, he was pretty good-looking for a 12 year old. But whenever I thought of this I just had to scream at myself 'PAEDOPHILE!' to sort out my retardedness.**

**I actually only managed to write 407 words while there despite what I said I'd do, so soz bout that. But as soon as I got home I started writing this chap, so be grateful!**

**Think that's it...**

**Not reviewing is almost as gay as having dirty bum sex...**


	40. Gifts, Restraints & Paedophiles

**This one starts out alright, but goes downhill a bit. Blame Rhea! It's her fault for rushing me!**

**Chapter 39 : Gifts, restraints and paedophiles**

----------------------------------------------------------------

"It's not my fault I'm a girl!"

"I never said it was" Byakuya told her simply while still reading from the ever so exciting history book.

"I'm just letting you know, coz it's not..." Kya replied, "unless... nevermind"

"Unless what?" Byakuya peered at her edging her to continue.

"Unless... I had a sex change when I was younger that you never knew about and I was born a guy"

Byakuya just gave her a look that said 'don't even bother trying to convince me of that'.

"Hey! It could happen!" Kya exclaimed as if she was insulted that Byakuya didn't believe her. Byakuya shook his head as he turned back to the words in the book he was holding. Not a doubt was in his mind that Kya had been born, raised and lived as a female.

Kya continued to sweep her legs through the cold water of the pool before her. It was early morning and the sun had only risen a couple of hours ago. Byakuya had finally given in to Kya's pleads that he spend at least an hour with her before rushing off to work and had instead dumped all the mind-numbing paperwork on Renji.

Renji was not a happy bunny.

They had once again returned to the clearing with the waterfall. It was somewhere where Kya felt most at ease, and in turn Byakuya did to. The early morning sunlight glimmered through the surrounding trees and bounced off of the water, turning it into a plastic sheen. The spray from where the water hit the pool was so slight that it didn't even reach half way to the edge where Kya now sat. Tiny fish danced at the bottom of the tarn and their movements were perfectly visible from above the surface. Silly little things. Always swimming and never taking time to rest for a second. If they did they might learn to appreciate the beauty of where they were. They were lucky really; here there were no predators apart from the odd bird that ventured into the water and they could live out whatever short lives they might have in peace.

Kya cursed herself for thinking such things. That would not make them lucky. They must be bored out of their minds, just swimming and eating all day long. Life shouldn't be a circle like that, things should happen.

What was happening in Kya's life at the moment? To be honest, there wasn't really anything happening. Her days were spent sitting around, talking to friends or performing some goddamn stupid task. It wasn't right. Maybe she was learning to calm her life down. Maybe, after all these years of being on the move and never staying longer than two months in the same place, her life had changed. Changed or ground to halt? Maybe in this case it meant the same thing.

Kya shook the unwanted thought from her mind.

She was happy, albeit a little bored. Just because she was happy didn't mean her life had ground to a standstill. Her mind was just trying to ruin her happiness with these deceiving thoughts. Everything was fine.

Kya looked at Byakuya again.

She really _was_ happy.

And yet, right in the deepest depths of the locked box at the back of her mind that she refused to open, she knew it couldn't last.

----------------------------------------------------------------

"Thank you Hitsugaya-Taicho! Your help was so very helpful!"

"Isn't that the point of help?" Matsumoto whispered to Kira who was standing next to her. He nodded but was too busy listening to what Hitsugaya would answer to say anything.

"Um... don't worry about it, it was just a couple of questions after all" Hitsugaya told Hisagi who was jumping up and down on the spot like a school boy.

"But the article would have been nothing without you! I'm in your debt forever!" Upon saying this, Hisagi actually got down on his knees and started kissing Hitsugaya's feet. At first, Hitsugaya just stood wide-eyed, not sure of what to make of the situation. He quickly regained his mind and shifted so that Hisagi's lips were no longer able to reach his toes.

"It was nothing" he said slightly coldly

"But it wasn't! It was incredibly useful in the news!" Hisagi practically grovelled. This was starting to go overboard. "Oh, I got you something to make up for the precious time I took up!"

Hisagi reached behind him and pulled out a neatly wrapped box.

Hitsugaya eyed it warily. Since he met Joshiro, presents scared him.

This wasn't Joshiro though, it was Hisagi; someone who, up until this moment, he thought as a much more mature and sensible person. He took the box and slowly unwrapped the paper.

His eyes went blank.

Chocolate... again...

Why did people constantly think that he was the type of person who would enjoy candies and chocolate? It wasn't as if he was a kid or something.

"Do you like it? Do you? Do you? Oh, I knew it! I should have got you something else! I'm such a failure!" Hitsugaya looked at the tear filled eyes of Hisagi and felt something close to sympathy.

"I..." he sighed before continuing "...love it. Thank you"

"You do?" Hisagi cried overjoyed that his gift had been a success.

"You do?" Kira and Matsumoto yelled at the same time in disbelief.

"Yes"

"Oh, thank you, thank you!" Hisagi squealed before literally jumping on the small captain. The hug was nearly as dangerous as the ones Matsumoto would give him. He couldn't breathe and he struggled against the emotional lieutenant.

"It was fantastic for me! How was it for you?" Hisagi shouted in reference to the interview, ignoring the obvious attempts made by Hitsugaya to escape.

It was at this moment when someone else decided to enter the room.

"Oh... my... Gawd..."

Kya stood in the doorway, clearly shocked at what she had just heard and the scene before her.

"P...P...P..." she stuttered, failing to find the right word

"Paedophile!" she found it

Hisagi dropped Hitsugaya and looked stunned at Kya, who was repeating to shout the word 'paedophile' over and over again.

Naturally this drew some attention from other Shinigami that happened to be wandering towards the room anyway. Soon all the captains and lieutenants as well as the other actors were assembled. Hisagi had been restrained by Zaraki and Komamura on the opposite side of the room from Hitsugaya and Unohana and Isane was inspected the young captain to see what damage he had done.

"I'm not a paedophile!" Hisagi was shouting repeatedly. But no one was listening to him any more.

"Shiro-chan! What did that cruel nasty man do to you?" Kya asked worriedly. She spotted the box of chocolates on the floor. "Oh my god! You didn't eat any of these, did you? They're probably drugged or something!"

"I didn't do anything! It was a misunderstanding!" Zaraki shoved his hand onto Hisagi's mouth to shut him up.

"I let you watch Yachiru..." he said darkly.

Hisagi cowered.

"He didn't"

Everybody turned to face Hitsugaya at his calm words. It was the first thing he had spoken since Kya had entered the room. He had been too preoccupied with thoughts of shock to have control over his words.

"What?" Kya asked him quietly

"He was thanking me for answering some questions in relation to an article he's writing. You entered at the wrong moment" he told Kya. Her face fell and a slight smirk crossed his own.

"Oh..." she laughed nervously.

Hisagi gasped as he was released from Zaraki's and Komamura's grasp.

"I guess I overreacted a bit" Kya said.

Everyone glared at her for making them panic over nothing.

"Why did you want to see us, Kya?" Byakuya's question shattered the dark air in the room and Kya was safe, for now at least.

"Oh yeah..." she mused, silently thanking Byakuya for the interruption. "It's just to let you know something important. The date of the performance has been decided by higher powers"

"What higher powers?" Yachiru asked curiously

"Well... mainly me" Kya answered. People blinked. They continued to listen though, wanting to know the ever so important date Kya was about to reveal.

"It's... duh duh duh duuuh..." She continued. "On the 21st!"

"But that's three days from now!"

"We won't be ready!"

"I don't even know my lines!"

"That's all, bye" Kya said before quickly rushing out of the room to avoid the bombardment of questions.

"Get back here this instant, you crazy woman!"

----------------------------------------------------------------

**This evening I had a pretty long convo with Rhea over msn. It was pretty jks. I'm gonna include it just so you all know what mad people talk about in their free time...**

_**Rhea says:**_** i am writing a chapter at the mo...i havent written one for the whole of the half term...me is bad...**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says:**_** yes! very**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says**_**: im writin to**

_**Rhea says:**_** u already wrote one damn it**

_**Rhea says**_**: slow down**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says:**_** hahahah!**

_**Rhea says**_**: i aspire to be like u**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says:**_** i no! i am god to meaklings like u!**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says**_**: mahahaha**

_**Rhea says:**_** wah**

_**Rhea says: **_**cruel god**

_**Rhea says: **_**send down a saviour now and make sure it looks like aragorn**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says:**_** drools at thought of buffness**

_**Rhea says:**_** u liked an emo kid**

_**Rhea says:**_** tsk tsk**

_**Rhea says:**_** i thought i taught u better**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says:**_** i feel unclean**

_**Rhea says: u**_** should u peado**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says:**_** u no i bet he was actually 17 but just really short**

_**Rhea says**_**: not 17**

_**Rhea says:**_** 13**

_**Rhea says**_**: and you know it**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says:**_** sniff**

_**Rhea says**_**: heh heh, who's god now**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says**_**: now im a bit stuck on my chap**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says**_**: help**

_**Rhea says**_**: what u on**

_**Rhea says: **_**i mean bit not drugs**

_**Rhea says:**_** I no that would take a while**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says**_**: ur trust in me is even better than my fathers**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says:**_** anyway...**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says: **_**ive run out of stupid thoughts**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says: **_**theyre too busy with paedophilia**

_**Rhea says**_**: tsk tsk**

**-moments pause-**

_**Rhea says:**_** what colour would mayuri's underwear be**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says:**_** wtf?! rotflmfao!**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says: **_**we know wat ur thinkin about**

_**Rhea says:**_** its come up in my chapter**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says:**_** yea... suuuuure...**

_**Rhea says**_**: no really**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says**_**: watever u dirty girl**

_**Rhea says**_**: they are gonna be teddy bear print me thinks**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says:**_** awww!!! so cute!!!**

_**Rhea says:**_** yea innit**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says:**_** wait! r u gonna include him wearin nothing but his underwear?**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says**_**: coz thats a smexy thought**

_**Rhea says:**_** no i was thinking the mask and underwear**

_**Rhea says:**_** i jest**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says**_**: lmao**

_**Rhea says:**_** i havent thought of that before**

_**Rhea says**_**: but thank u for that thought**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says:**_** isnt it nice?**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says: **_**damn u ur distractin me again!**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says: **_**now ive got mayuri naked in my head**

_**Rhea says**_**: not a bad thought**

_**Rhea says:**_** but hes mine**

_**Rhea says**_**: so he better get the hell out**

_**Rhea says**_**: before i come and get him out myself**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says:**_** no!**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says: **_**finders keepers!**

_**Rhea says:**_** NOOOO**

_**Rhea says**_**: hey no fair**

_**Rhea says:**_** i'll trade u the clones for the real one...how about that**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says**_**: mmmm... u could hav more than one...**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says: **_**haha! now ive taken them as well!**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says:**_** u hav nothing!**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says:**_** bwahahaha**

_**Rhea says**_**: nooooooo**

_**Rhea says:**_** how could you**

_**Rhea says**_**: fine then i'll take byakuya and his underwear whatever they may be**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says: **_**nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says: **_**hang on, ive got him without the underwear**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says**_**: mines better**

_**Rhea says**_**: holy moly...**

_**Rhea says**_**: without underwear**

_**Rhea says:**_** now thats a thought**

**-more talk about random shit-**

_**Rhea says:**_** imagining people with no underwear hmm**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says:**_** back to that again, eh rhea?**

_**Rhea says**_**: i have decided that mayuri has all sorts of boxers and briefs...**

_**Rhea says**_**: sometimes they are black and silk and sometimes they are red and sometimes they do have teddy bear print**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says:**_** o.o**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says: **_**rhea likes black silk boxers?**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says: **_**rheas kinky**

_**Rhea says:**_** he does though**

_**Rhea says: **_**actually mayuri doesnt care but nemu does all of his shopping**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says: **_**lmao**

_**Rhea says**_**: tis true**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says:**_** nemus kinky**

_**Rhea says**_**: tis the truth**

_**Rhea says**_**: gospel truth**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says:**_** not very gospel like**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says: **_**black silk boxers**

_**Rhea says:**_** yes it is**

_**Rhea says: **_**jesus wore them too...no one ever talked about it though**

_**Rhea says**_**: bet u byakuya wears them cause he is a rich so and so**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says:**_** no, byakuya doesnt wear underwear**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says:**_** i know**

_**Rhea says:**_** i see**

_**Rhea says:**_** going commando**

_**Rhea says**_**: thats manly that is**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says**_**: or a THONG!!**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says: **_**with pink frills**

_**Rhea says:**_** i bet he does**

**-sends pic of Mayuri-**

_**Rhea says:**_** thats a well good picture of mayuri**

_**Rhea says**_**: he is smiling and stuff**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says**_**: yeeaaahhh...**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says**_**: not at all creepy**

_**Rhea says**_**: no not creepy**

_**Rhea says: **_**its actually one of the rare pictures that make him look nice**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says**_**: him in the shower nakid is better**

_**RosesSpeakDeath If Jesus looked like Aragorn, I'd be Christian... says: **_**it was how god intended it**

**And this conversation continued for another 2 hours... I heart my ikle rheakins**

**Review please?**


	41. The Play

**I'm ill with a stomach upset, as well as what I think is the flu. My bloody immune system is hopeless. I blame my parents for cleaning the house when I was a baby!**

**This is the start of the play, but it will be divided up into sections coz it's way too long to write in one.**

**Chapter 40 : The play**

--------------------------------------------------------------

Apparently, in cases like this, short notice meant nothing.

Despite the residents of Seireitei only being given three days warning of the performance, nearly all of them had turned up to it. Naturally, even the first division hall wasn't large enough to contain all of them, and so Kya had spent the morning deciding who to let in and who to not. She stated that only the twenty highest ranking from each division would be allowed in, then after that it would be a first come, first served basis. And of course, Kya had invited some other special people.

The front row was purely reserved for the most important of the audience members. This meant Yamamoto and Sasakibe would be directly in the middle, watching closely. And on either side of them would be Kya's personal guests; the friends and family of all the actors.

Sensibly Kya had not told any of the actors this. They would freak knowing people they actually talked to were going to see them in this. The teasing would never stop.

It was now ten minutes until the curtain went up. The noise echoing forth from the packed out hall was only added to by the panicking actors.

"What do I say after that?", "I can't find my shoe!", and Kya's personal favourite coming from Zaraki – "Where are my stockings?!" were just some of the constant yells from backstage.

"Why do I have to do this, Kya?"

Kya turned her head upwards from helping one of the stage hands with a last minute lighting check. She stood upright from leaning over their shoulder and looking at the switch board. Byakuya narrowed his eyes slightly at the tiny light technician, who he was sure had previously been staring at something other than the switches and all together more _ample._ The man quickly started fiddling with some of the dials in front of him.

"Because I asked you to" Kya answered while stepping towards the Kuchiki heir.

"And you asking means I have to?" he said. She smirked.

"Why of course" her face was close now and she only had to whisper to be heard. Byakuya leaned his head forwards slightly and looked down into her eyes.

"I don't think it works like that" he in turn whispered.

"Then what if I asked you to do something else? Would you do it?" the dangerous upturning of the corners of Kya's lips as she spoke had Byakuya's full attention.

"That would depend on what it was"

Kya reached up and whispered something in his ear. She then pulled her head away again and bit her bottom lip playfully.

Byakuya's eyes scanned the area.

The light technician quickly looked down at the dials again.

Sensing that it was safe, Byakuya grabbed Kya by the wrist and led her away.

--------------------------------------------------------------

"Where is that woman?!"

"Taicho, calm down"

"How could I possibly calm down, Matsumoto? We were meant to begin this charade five minutes ago!" Hitsugaya shouted at his lieutenant.

"Oh don't worry, Kya'll turn up, she usually does" Renji joined the conversation.

"I don't care! We should have already started!" Ok, maybe Hitsugaya was overreacting a teensy bit, but he wanted to get this over with. The longer he had to wait backstage, the longer he had to be in this goddamn costume. To be honest, he was also panicking a bit because of another reason; he was nervous. He would never admit it, but he hated stuff like this. He knew he couldn't act, and he didn't particularly feel in the mood to make a fool out of himself today.

Momo walked up to them, also looking slightly anxious.

"Kuchiki-Taicho is also missing" she told them fretfully.

Hitsugaya, Matsumoto and Renji all looked at each other, now understanding the situation.

"What? Do you know where they are?" Momo asked.

"Um... Momo..." Matsumoto started.

"It doesn't matter; we'll just wait for them" Hitsugaya cut her off. Momo blinked and just stared at them clueless of what was going on.

"Well, hello everybody!" Kya announced as she walked up to the group, a large smile on her face. She was running her fingers through her hair, trying to sort out any mess that may have occurred. Hitsugaya noticed Byakuya standing inconspicuously in the background.

"You bloody fool! You could have chosen a slightly better time!" Hitsugaya yelled at her. She looked around vaguely.

"I don't know what you mean, Shiro-chan" Renji and Matsumoto had to stifle their giggles. Momo didn't get it.

"Where have you been, Kya-sama?"

"I've been... er... helping Byakuya with his costume! Yeah, that's it..." Kya's eyes darted from left to right as she spoke.

"But he was already wearing his c-"

"Momo, come on, we need to get into positions" Matsumoto interrupted her, stopping Kya from ruining her precious innocence.

"Oh, ok" Momo said as she hurried off with Matsumoto.

Kya looked at her while she walked away.

"Did she honestly not know?"

--------------------------------------------------------------

The lights went out in the hall. The loud chatter immediately stopped and all attention was drawn to the stage where a spotlight flickered into action.

The audience watched in anticipation as a tall woman with purple hair stepped out from behind the curtains and into the spotlight. The director, as they had been told.

"Ladies and gentlemen" the director spoke loudly into the room. "Firstly, I would like to thank you all for attending this occasion. I know you must have all had far more important work to attend to and the fact that you are here makes all my hard work even more worth while"

She paused and looked out at all the Shinigami before her. A scoff was heard from behind the curtains. The woman ignored it.

"As you may know, my name is Kya and I have been directing this little production that General Yamamoto organised. I must say it has been my dream for quite some time now to do something like this and I feel privileged that General Yamamoto allowed me this opportunity."

Kya acting seemed far superior to any of the actors performing in this play. Why didn't she just volunteer herself and not make all of them work so hard?

"I also hope that this production is a success with you all and that, maybe, it will become an annual event"

"What?" A voice that sounded like Mayuri screeched from backstage.

"Shh!" and that must have been Nanao shutting him up.

Kya continued.

"Now I think we should get on with the play, don't you? It gives me great pleasure to introduce to you now... The Magicians' Gifts!"

She did some odd twirl while exiting the stage. The spotlight went out and a different one appeared on the far left of the stage.

A certain captain stood underneath it.

Byakuya did not like the attention he was receiving. Usually, when people looked at him, it was out of reverence or respect. Now it was just... odd.

Eyes widened.

Girls squealed.

Men held back their laughter.

This costume was stupid. He did not look like a cat at all. The black leotard was not a manly thing to wear. The cat ears, painted on whiskers, and fake tail did not help either. Damn Kya and her cruel ideas.

"Our story takes place long ago, in a far away land," he began to recite his lines "where there lived a king. In the king's dominion there lived no less than three magicians. It is the events which take place around these characters that will be told today, for they are events full of mystery and magic."

He paused.

"Let us start at the beginning."

The curtains drew back and lights went on onto the stage, revealing a painted backdrop of a room full of riches. A throne sat in the middle and a smaller gold chair beside it. On the other side of the throne was a large basket that somehow resembled a cot.

Shunsui sat regally on the throne. He looked very pleased with himself. He had no problems with his costume at all. A long red cape made of velvet was wrapped around his shoulders and held in place by a golden brooch. His clothes were all rich and expensive looking. But that wasn't the best part, oh no. Shunsui's favourite part of the outfit was what was perched on top of his head. The crown glimmered under the lights. Oh, now he was king!

"I am the King of this mighty land! My castle is grand and my people are happy! Even my wife is the most beautiful woman in the entire kingdom! Yes! My life is perfect! I have even just had a son! He is the Prince and is almost as important as me!"

Shunsui let out a deep laugh at the end of his line. He was enjoying himself.

"Look! Here comes my wife now!" He announced while standing up. People wondered who could be playing 'the most beautiful woman in the entire kingdom'. Maybe it was Matsumoto? Or perhaps Nemu? It could have been Unohana?

People gasped when they saw who stepped out from one side of the stage.

Nothing could have prepared them for_ that_.

Mayuri stood there, mask and all, scowling at the audience. However, the most surprising aspect of all of this was not that he had been chosen; it was what he was wearing. Along with the mask, which he had refused to ever let out of his sight ever again after the Matsumoto event, he was dressed in a long, deep blue, velvet, with white lace along the hems, dress.

It was a bizarre sight.

Shunsui knocked people out of the daze and their bottom jaw jumped back up the two feet to reunite with the top one.

"Oh darling! Can you believe we have a son?" he shouted

"No" Mayuri said plainly.

Kya threw a stone at the back of his head and he continued.

"It is wonderful."

"It is! He will grow up to be a fine Prince!" Shunsui cried. He stepped towards Mayuri. This was it, the moment which had created so much trouble in the rehearsals. Shunsui gripped Mayuri's shoulders and stared at him in the yellow eyes. The glare he received in return made him consider what he was doing. He looked to Kya in the wings. She was holding another stone at the ready.

It was Nanao. It was Nanao. It was Nanao. That was all he had to repeat to himself and he should have been fine.

He squinted and quickly brought his face down. Mayuri didn't move. He was too busy reciting the periodic table in his mind to distract himself.

The quick peck on the lips was over in less than a second. And yet when Shunsui opened his eyes again he saw that the audience's jaws had once again returned to the floor.

"Let us have a Christening straight away!" he announced ignoring the stunned faces that greeted him.

Byakuya stepped forwards again.

"And so they did"

--------------------------------------------------------------

**Ok, I'm stopping it there. I think I'll manage to complete the play in three parts, maybe two if I make the next one super long, but I doubt it.**

**Last night after uploading the previous chapter Rhea and I were talking online again while watching 'the Ninth Gate' on TV.**

**I don't think either of us really got the plot too much, as we were so distracted by Johnny Depp. We had an interesting discussion about him, mainly about how we each wanted to jump on him and suck his face off. The best part was when Rhea suddenly said 'ooh, I could eat him up'. This made me laugh for two reasons: a) I haven't actually heard anyone in real life ever use that phrase, only in really old stupid movies, and b) it just isn't something Rhea should say, she's more the 'let's go blow up that building' or 'I wish I had a gun' type.**

**We also had a sort of mini competition. It went something like this...**

**---**

**Me: -after Johnny lights up a cigarette- I wish I was that cig**

**Rhea: -after Johnny falls on a pile of leaves- I wish I was those leaves**

**Me: -after Johnny sits down at a bar- I wish I was that barstool**

**Rhea: -after Johnny answers the telephone- I wish I was that phone**

**Me: -after Johnny starts touching the cover of a book- I wish I was that book**

**Rhea: -after Johnny starts walking somewhere- I wish I was his clothes**

**Me: I wish I was everything he ever touched!**

**Rhea: Jeez, Rose, why don't you just say his underwear or something?**

**Me: Johnny doesn't wear underwear, he goes commando**

**Rhea: that's manly that is**

**Me: he should eat some raw meat**

**-when Johnny lying naked in bed with only a sheet covering his bottom half-**

**Me & Rhea at the same time: I wish I was that sheet!**

**---**

**I'm Johnny's stalker, did you know? And according to Rhea, I'm a very destructive stalker coz I set fire to a building he was in after knocking him out (go see the film) Other random parts of our conversation were...**

**---**

**Johnny in film: I would like to examine this book (or somin like that)**

**Me: You could examine my book anyday**

**---**

**-Johnny walks back into room where previously there had been some SLUT that he had kissed but she had gone-**

**Rhea: Yay! the bitch is gone! Maybe she'll jump out of a cupboard or something**

**Me: no I killed her**

**Me: she won't be getting out of that cupboard for a very long time**

**---**

**Me: God I wish he wouldn't wear that coat, it hides his perfect behind**

**Rhea: its a long coat**

**Me: you only just noticed, didn't you?**

**Rhea: I was too busy looking at his perfect face**

**Me: oh**

**Me: I was looking at the butt**

**---**

**I know, I know, another random ending, but I thought I just had to share mine and rhea's view on the purty purty Johnny. Anyway, I swear I won't waste anymore of your time with these pointless convos... unless you want me to of course...**

**If you're not careful and don't review, I'll turn emo and run off with the 13 yr old**


	42. The Play pt 2

**Bleh, still ill. But better a bit so I'll go to school tomorrow. I miss my Rhea too much!!!!**

**Chapter 41 : The play pt. 2**

---------------------------------------------------------------

"And so they did"

With this the light that was shining onto the stage shifted to a brighter, more dramatic one. Extras stepped out from both wings and lined themselves up on the either side in a V. Two of these extras ran over to the basket and wheeled it forwards so that it was in the centre of the stage. Unohana, Isane and Iba also appeared and placed themselves in front of the line of extras on the right.

Shunsui stepped towards them.

"Oh magicians! Welcome to our little boys Christening! It is a pleasure to see you all here!" he shouted at them. Isane jumped back slightly at the volume of his voice, causing her to almost trip over the long dark red robe she was wearing. She managed to stop herself though.

"We thank you for inviting us" Unohana replied gently, even though she was projecting her voice.

Shunsui let out another deep bark of a laugh and stepped right to the front of the stage.

"Now I must choose a godfather for my son! I must choose wisely, for if I do not who knows what could happen?" He twirled around and pointed at Unohana. "You! You are now the Prince's godfather!"

He laughed and stepped back next to Mayuri.

"Him? Why is he godfather and not us?" Iba declared. His robe, being deep green, appeared to be slightly tight on him and his chest was bulging out a bit.

"Because I have decided that that is the way!" Shunsui replied. He raised a fist into the air "And I am your King! So do as I say"

Shunsui froze in that theatrical position for a few seconds. His fist was in the air and he was looking out over the audience at nothing.

A stone hit the back of his head, causing him to wake up from his vision of manliness.

"Ow! Oh... um... now for presents!"

The curtains of the large cot-basket were drawn back and revealed what was inside. The audience would have burst out laughing if it wasn't for the shock they were in.

Inside, huddled up so that his great figure would fit, was Komamura. The baby Prince of course had to be dressed like a baby prince, but whenever Kya had tried a costume that resembled a Christening outfit, Komamura just ended up looking like the ghost of Christmas past. So, to save some bother, she had decided that simpler was better. It was for this reason that when the curtains were drawn back and the baby was revealed, he was wearing nothing but a large sheet for a diaper and a frilly bonnet around his furry head. He was sucking his thumb.

Unohana walked up to the basket and looked inside.

Komamura quietly growled at her.

Unohana looked up and at the audience. When she next spoke it was soft and kind.

"My gift is this: whatever he wishes for he shall have. And only I who give shall be able to recall this gift"

Shunsui let out a big sniff as his eyes welled up.

Unohana stepped back and Iba instead advanced to the cot.

"I should be godfather. Because of this, I will change that gift to a curse" he tried to project his voice while muttering. It didn't work so well.

"The wishes that he has thus obtained, shall not be revoked or changed" he announced the gift before returning to Isane.

"If he were very wise and prudent, he might still be happy. But I will secure his punishment for choosing someone else as godfather" she said quietly.

She also advanced to the cradle and announced.

"For my part, I give him a hasty temper" Kya slapped her forehead backstage. Would she please try not to sound so sweet when saying that?

"Gah gah" Komamura said in that deep growl of a voice.

Isane and Iba both walked to the other side of the stage, where Iba spoke again.

"We cannot let ourselves be insulted like that, can we?" and they both left the stage. Their part was over.

Shunsui sensationally stepped to the front of the stage and raised his fist again.

"My son has only to be sure of what he wants! Then he will not want to recall his wishes!" he cried out

"If a Prince shall not have a hasty temper, then surely no one shall" Mayuri added in that screeching voice that was only made worse by him trying to be a bit feminine.

The extras laughed at the same time, which looked completely fake. Unohana shook her head as she left the stage silently.

The main lights went out. This gave the extras time to run off and also for the giant basket with Komamura inside to be wheeled off. It did not give him time to get out of the basket while it was onstage. As previous rehearsals had shown, it took Komamura an extremely long time to squeeze himself out of the tiny entrance.

A spotlight appeared over Byakuya again.

"And as the Prince grew, the magicians' gifts began to take effect. There was nothing so precious that he could not have, nor nothing so difficult that he could not obtain with a mere wish. But no matter how inconsiderate the wish, or how much he wished to retract it, once they were made they could not be undone."

The lights went up again and revealed a small ball of pink sitting in the middle of the stage. Kira was standing next to the ball. Yachiru looked up and pouted at him.

"I don't want to calm down! I want chocolate!" she cried at him.

"But chocolate isn't good for you, your father has told me not to give you any, I cannot go against his rules"

"I wish you were at the bottom of the ocean with your rules and regulations!" Promptly a puff of smoke appeared on stage and Kira rushed off behind the curtains.

"The Prince's hot temper led to many occasions such as this. The King always appointed counsellors to watch him, and no matter how hard they all tried, it would end in the same way" Byakuya said

Nanao came onto the stage.

"This rule here states that you shouldn't have any chocolate for the rest of the week" she told Yachiru

"I don't care! I want chocolate!" Yachiru screamed in return, causing many of the audience to cover their ears at the noise.

"But sir-"

"I wish you were at the bottom of the ocean with your rules and regulations!"

Another puff of smoke and Nanao ran offstage. When she reached the wings she was immediately taken into Shunsui's hold.

"Oh, Nanao, don't worry, your king will protect you!" he whispered to her. She hit him with the book and told him to shut up.

"Soon there was not a wise man left in the kingdom"

"Oooh, that's my cue!" Shunsui said and ran out on stage again, Nanao's eyes glaring holes into the back of his cloak.

Shunsui stood in the middle of the stage, while Yachiru played with some toys behind him.

"There is no doubt that I will be next! There is only one thing to be done! I must find the godfather magician, and persuade him to withdraw his gift!" he shouted

"And so the King sent out messengers to every corner of his kingdom"

Soifon and Omaeda entered on one side of the stage and looked at a roll of parchments in their hands.

"I announce that the King of the land is searching for a magician" Soifon spoke clearly

"He's about this tall, wears a dark blue robe, has a beard that may look like hair tied in a braid at the front, and goes by the name of Bernard" Omaeda added. Soifon looked at him.

"Bernard?" she asked

"That's what it says here"

"Let me see" Soifon grabbed the parchment and looked at it, "hang on, this has been written on in crayon! Yachiru!"

She glared at the giggling girl who was doing somersaults around the stage. A hand reached out of the wings and quickly yanked Soifon and Omaeda off the stage. Kya gave them severe looks about interrupting the story.

Byakuya glanced at where they had once stood before continuing.

"But none were successful. Then one day, he came across two blind beggars on a road"

Ikkaku walked out onto the stage. He had a blindfold on. He pulled it down slightly, realised Yumichika had not appeared with him, and ran off again.

He shortly returned, dragging the man behind him.

"But my hair isn't ready yet!"

"Yes it is!"

"Just because you don't have any hair..."

"I have hair! See?" Ikkaku yelled while pointing at his clearly bald head. It shone under the lights and gave Yumichika a chance to check his reflection again.

"Oh look, two blind beggars have suddenly appeared on my path! Surely they could not be here for no reason!" Shunsui cried, making the eleventh seats realise where they were.

"Yes! We have come from far away to inform your majesty of something very important!" Ikkaku loudly stated.

"Really? And what is this important thing?"

"Three nights ago-"

"It was a beautiful night..." Yumichika interrupted Ikkaku

"-I had a dream-"

"And what a beautiful dream it was?"

"-I dreamt that I went by the narrowest of seven roads-"

"Seven beautiful roads..."

"-to find the thing you search for-"

"Surely that must be a beautiful thin-"

"Shut up about the beauty, goddamn it!" Ikkaku snapped at Yumichika, who pouted and turned away from his friend.

"Anyway," Ikkaku continued "basically I dreamt there were these seven paths and that if you go look up the narrowest one you'll find what you're looking for!"

"There, we done now?" he added to where Kya was standing in the wings. She nodded sadly and he dragged Yumichika, who by now had found something else shiny to stare at his reflection in, off the stage.

"Hmm..." Shunsui said while pacing the stage and putting a finger to his manly chin, "where is the place where seven roads meet, some broad and some narrow?"

"To which one of his courtiers replied:" Byakuya added

"To the west twenty one miles from the palace is a cross road, where three field paths also diverge" a voice came from backstage

"Ahah! Then there I will go!" Shunsui announced raising a finger in the air determinedly.

He looked down at his leg suddenly.

Yachiru was clinging onto it with all her might.

"Yachiru, shouldn't you have left the stage already?" he whispered to her.

He jumped up in the air when she clamped her jaws down on his leg.

"Ahhh!"

"Psst! Yachiru!" he stopped leaping in the air and looked to the wing where Kya was hissing from. He noticed what was in her hands. Yachiru immediately let go and ran off to grab the sack full of candy.

"Carry on!" Kya hissed at the now confused Shunsui.

"Uh... yeah... I must go!"

"And so the King travelled to this place which he had been told of, and once there he took the narrowest of the field paths. He travelled up this path for days on end, until he reached a small cave"

The lights dimmed and a bluish light came into action in the corner of the stage, where there sat what at first looked like a pile of old cloth. Upon further inspection the audience realised that it was only Hisagi, huddled over a cardboard cut out of a fire and rocking back and forth. The old rags Kya had dressed him in were not appreciated, and the scrawny white wig did not help.

"Does a magician live here?" Shunsui asked the grumpy Hisagi.

"No one lives here but myself" Hisagi replied, "but I am a wise woman, I may be able to help"

Shunsui sat on the plastic rock opposite Hisagi and Byakuya spoke again.

"The King told the wise woman of his troubles and of his decision to find the magician in order to get him to retract his gift. The woman listened intently and at last she spoke"

"He could not recall the other gifts. Therefore it is better that the Prince is taught how to control his power and calm his temper. And since all the persons capable of guiding him have disappeared, I shall return with you and take change of him myself. Over me he holds no power"

Shunsui's eyes lit up.

"Really? You'd do that for little old me?"

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**That's it for today, folks. I don't think I'll be able to finish the play in the next one after all. It's just too long a story.**

**I had a dream last night and it had emo boy in it. We were at his house and he was showing me this video game that one of his friends did the artwork for or somin (blame my mother for talking about careers) Anyways, he was sitting on this bean bag, then I just laid my legs across his lap and asked 'you dont mind do you? youre just comfy'. then my friend naomi randomly showed up wearing a Dead Kennedys t shirt, even though shes never even heard of them. I think she was trying to steal emo boy, coz you know, she has a reputation... not a slut per se... just... never alone... Then I got transported into his fish bowl with him and we were surrounded by computer graphic fish and bubbles... i cant remember the rest... but it was weird...**

**Almost as weird as the one... oh i wont bother... i have a lot of confusing weird dreams and my friends will tell you that they are usually long-winded and have no real purpose**

**Now I need to finish my art homework, til next time.**

**If you review I'll give you a dog biscuit.**

**I  
****I  
****V**


	43. The Play pt 3

**Aww! I just got my friend's Jenny bday pressie, and it rocks! It's a mixed CD and it has some awesome songs on like cornershop, but also some jk ones like 5ive and Spice Girls. And Queen's BBIIICYYCLEE!! BIICCYYCCLLEE!! BBIIICCCYYYCCLLLEEE!!!**

**Yeah I've been at school today, so I saw Rhea!! YAY!! ... but I had history so that just sent me to sleep... again...**

**Chapter 42 : The Play pt. 3**

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"And so the wise woman returned with the King to the palace where she was appointed as the Prince's guardian. She fulfilled her task greatly and it appeared the Prince's temper had been calmed somewhat"

Byakuya paused and a stone hit the back off his head. He didn't flinch.

"Meow"

Another five stones hit Byakuya at once. Again he acted like he hadn't even noticed them.

Instead he breathed in before letting out a gruff noise that in some parallel universe may have resembled a meow.

The fact that it sounded nothing like a cat didn't seem to matter with the audience, well, the female members of the audience at least, as well as certain males. The combination of the squeals and/or fangirl screams meant that the play could not continue for another five minutes as none of the lines would have been heard over the noise. Kya was sure she had seen Sasakibe, through the curtain, let out the tiniest trace of a squeal before turning it into a manly cough.

Yachiru was back on stage and old woman Hisagi was standing next to her.

"I want chocolate!" she screamed

"You can have chocolate when you're done with your Prince-chores" Hisagi said in a croaky voice while holding his clawed hands in front of his face. God, no wonder Kya mistook him for a paedophile.

Yachiru pouted, but none the less started polishing her tiny crown.

Hisagi hardly had the chance to offer her the chocolate before it had disappeared and a sticky chocolate-coloured stain was around Yachiru's mouth.

"Yay!" she cried and started running around Hisagi in circles. Yeah, that was meant to be the Prince after calming down.

The lights went down. At this point, Yachiru was supposed to go offstage. However, Yachiru being Yachiru, she decided that she would stick around a bit longer and continued running around Hisagi.

"Soon, however, the Prince reached manhood and was growing tired of having such an old counsellor."

At Byakuya's line the lights were supposed to go up again. They didn't. The light technician waited patiently for Yachiru to run off. Nanao looked at Kya expectantly.

"Don't you have any more candy?" she whispered

"Um... that was my last batch" Kya answered honestly.

It was sheer good luck that Zaraki appeared at his moment.

He marched up to Yachiru, ignoring the giggles from the other actors at his costume, and picked her up and blankly brought her to the side.

"Ken-chan! You look pretty!" Yachiru told him.

Although the audience couldn't see anything, they were able to hear, and they suddenly burst out laughing at that last comment.

Then they realised who 'Ken-chan' was.

The laughter stopped.

The lights came on and Momo now stood in the middle of the stage.

"I wish that I had a faithful and discreet advisor of my own age and sex" she said quietly.

Matsumoto walked up to her. Despite the men's clothing and her hair being tied up underneath a hat, she still looked like the all woman she was. Nothing could be done to hide _those._

"I am a faithful and discreet young man who is looking for the position of advisor" she told Momo.

"Oh, what a stroke of luck"

"Well, I'll be on my way then" Hisagi croaked and left, never to be seen again.

"The young nobleman performed his task so well that the Prince became deeply attached to him, and submitted in every way to his counsels-"

"Now that I'd like to see!" a guy from the audience shouted out, interrupting Byakuya. His comment caused a spur of laughter around the room, but was short lived when the temperature suddenly dropped and icicles appeared. Backstage, the only thing stopping Hitsugaya from jumping out and tearing that man apart was the thought of emerging in his ridiculous getup.

"But one day, a moment came when the advice of his friend irritated him" Byakuya continued as if nothing had happened.

"No, I think that doing that would be a good idea. It's not as if your exactly a child anymore, is it? Doing something like that would be improve your life by leaps and bounds, just make sure not to get her pregnant" Matsumoto said to Momo

"Stop it! You're driving me mad with your long sermons!" Momo said just as quietly as before.

"You really need to get lai-"

"I wish you would hold your tongue forever!"

"On which the young nobleman became dumb, and so remained. For he was not, as the wise woman had been, independent of the Prince's power" Byakuya said monotonously, "To this the Prince's grief held no bounds"

"Am I not under a curse?" Momo whispered, Kya threw a stone at her, and then added another for good measure. Momo's voice got a bit louder, "I should be cast out from society. I only bring pain to those whom I love best – there is no hope for me unless I find my godfather and convince him to retract this fatal gift"

"The Prince set out across the land, accompanied by no one except his dumb friend, who remained faithful, and his loyal dog"

Renji came on stage.

"Woof." His acting of animal speak was as bad as Byakuya's. But then again, Renji did not seem too pleased with his role.

Kya stifled her laughter. The audience, however, chose not to.

Who knew Renji was a furry at heart?

His costume of a dog suit in combination with the face paint that struggled to cover up those ridiculous eyebrows was something that no one thought they would ever see the oh-so-proud-manly-man Renji wearing. He scowled at them all, and their laughter only increased.

"Loyal dog, your hearing is so quick that indeed you can understand humans. You are the most intelligent being at court, save for my faithful advisor. Naturally I should bring you on my quest to find my godfather" Momo said. She walked over to Renji and made to pat him on the head like the script said.

Renji growled.

Now, that was dog-like.

Momo cowered and ran to the opposite side of the stage.

Renji grumpily slouched his way to the front of the stage and pointed off over the audience's heads.

"Woof."

"What is it boy? Is that the path we should follow?" Momo asked Renji. He glared at her for calling him 'boy'.

Momo tried not to cry.

Renji walked to the other side of the stage and Momo and a Matsumoto who was finding it quite difficult to be silent for so long a time followed.

"They travelled in this way to the edge of the King's dominion, only halting for needful rest and refreshment. At last the dog led them through a wood, and towards evening they found themselves in the depths of the forest, with no sign of any shelter for the night."

A new scenery suddenly dropped from the ceiling in front of the painted royal hall. The sound of it hitting the stage made quite a few people jump.

Kya looked at the man who was supposed to be lowering it gently. He shrugged.

A mountain of rocks hit him square in the face.

Silence washed over the stage.

Then Kya remembered what she was meant to be doing and dropped the rest of the rocks on the crumpled body of the stage hand before turning back to the play.

She rang the small bell in her hand.

Renji walked over to that side of the stage, Momo and Matsumoto in his trail.

The lights dimmed and the same bluish light that had introduced lady Hisagi shone on the stage. Nemu stood underneath it wrapped in what looked like a beach towel.

"Old hermit, does a magician live here?" Momo asked

"No one lives here but myself" Surprisingly, Nemu owned this part. Her whimsical voice sounded a lot like some crazy old dude who thought he knew everything. "But I am old and have meditated much. My advice is at your service if you need it"

"The Prince told the hermit of his history, and why he was seeking his godfather to relinquish him of this curse"

"And yet that will not cure your temper." Nemu said distantly. Maybe Kya would check that Mayuri hadn't been giving her pot later. "It would be better if you learned to control that and to use your power prudently"

"No, no, I must find the magician"

"But-"

"Don't anger me! For the evil I do I cannot undo!" Momo interrupted Nemu. "Come now, we must leave"

Momo started walking away, Matsumoto followed, but Renji sat himself down next to Nemu.

"Come, boy, we are leaving"

Renji didn't move.

"We must go now to find the answer to my problem"

Still no movement from Renji.

"Now, boy!"

Renji growled.

"Uh... please?" Momo added quietly.

When Renji didn't move anymore she gulped. She didn't want to say this next line.

"Stupid animal?" she grimaced as she spoke, almost expecting Renji to jump up and kill her where she stood. When he didn't, she continued her lines, "I wish... I wish you were hanged"

A puff of smoke and Renji ran off.

Momo looked up above the stage and screamed.

Finally, a line she could do convincingly.

"My precious dog! Will no one hang me also and rid the world of such a monster?" she said between tears.

"It is easier to die repenting than to live amending" Nemu spoke up again from behind the smoke. Seriously, her freaky voice was really starting to creep Kya out now. "yet it is the latter which is the better one. Come, live with me my son, and I will teach you the ways of self-control"

"It is impossible" Momo whispered again. Kya searched for another stone, but remembered she was all out. "These fits of madness are beyond cure. It only remains to find my godfather, so that he may help others my curing me of this evil"

"And the Prince carried on his search, bringing the body of the dead dog with him lovingly, and his faithful advisor following silently behind"

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**I know, the last couple haven't been that good, but to be honest I'm a bit bored with the play, god knows how you lot are feeling about it if I'M bored. **

**Rhea's mum and brother were talking the other day, and totally dissing Mayuri, saying he was a twit and stuff like that. Rhea says she tried to stick up for him, but there aren't really that many good points about him to use in the argument. I told her his smexiness is his good point. She said she couldn't exactly say that to her mum and brother. And I was like 'Why not? I say stuff like that to my parents about Johnny... actually it's more 'change this channel and I will murder you for taking my precious Johnny away from me... but you get the general idea'. She was like '...yeah...'**

**Yay! omigdogbiscuit, lilmeika, Rhea (but she gets one every chapter) & Sakiru Yume get dog biscuits! And closedofHeart gets a cookie because she asked for one... What? I would have given you one as well if you'd asked. That's using your initiative, that is. Besides, closedofHeart reviews all the time, so she deserves one, unlike you fools who read without reviewing! Get back foul wench of the underworld!**

**Anyway... yeah... review?**


	44. Curtains Down

**Rf: Ginny! It feels like an age since I last spoke to you!  
****Gin: That's because I locked myself in the cupboard  
****Rf: Oh yeah... how exactly did you do that?  
****Gin: That is a secret –creepy grin-  
****My friend Phi: -randomly walks in holding clipboard- You know, I never really liked Whitney Huston, but... –randomly walks out again-  
****Rf: O.O  
****Gin: -creepy grin-**

**(btw, Phi actually said that randomly in chemistry after me and Cafie were discussing something about reactions, i never did get to hear what happened after the 'but...')**

**Chapter 43 : Curtains down**

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"The Prince travelled far like this, grieving all the way the death of his faithful hound, until he reached another kingdom, with another king"

The blue light disappeared, once again plunging the stage into darkness, and the forest scenery was hoisted up, not surprisingly by a different stage hand than the one who had lowered it. He had mysteriously vanished and there only stood a pile of rocks where he once was.

The lights went on again and the throne was back. Now a new King sat in its arms.

Granted, Joshiro did not seem as excited at the thought of being King as Shunsui was, but he didn't look unhappy by any means. At least he wasn't a dog. That would just be humiliating.

"Oh mighty King" Momo greeted him. Kya decided that since all stones were gone, the next best thing would do. The shoe hit Momo in the back and she almost fell over.

"Oh... oh... mighty King!" she spoke up some more in fear of anything else Kya may suddenly deem worthy to throw, "Is there a magician in this land?"

"Hmm..." Joshiro looked thoughtful for a second, "not to my knowledge. Advisers, do you recall a magician?"

Kiyone ran out of the wings, followed by Sentaro. He fought her back trying to get to his King first.

"I do not recall your Highness!" they shouted at the same time.

They both turned and glared at each other.

"That was my line!" again they yelled simultaneously.

"No! It was mine!"

"Stop copying me!"

No! Stop copying me!"

Rukia stepped out. Was it Kya's imagination, or did she seem slightly more on edge than usual?

"None of us are sure that a magician is present in this land, your majesty" her voice cut through the screams from the eccentric third seats. They each crossed their arms and sulked.

"Well, there is your answer, young Prince" Joshiro said to Momo, "however; you are free to ask my daughter, for she is wise in these matters"

"Where shall I find your daughter?" Momo squealed, clearly shocked at the presence of so many crazy people at once.

"I shall call for her now! Oh, Daughter!"

At Joshiro's call, his shy and polite daughter emerged from backstage.

Ok, maybe she wasn't shy and polite, but she did look mighty cute in the little pink pom-pom dress.

Hitsugaya glared at the audience for the sudden rush of girly cooing.

"You summoned me, father?" he grumbled.

"Oh, not you daughter, the other one..." Joshiro waved a hand then peered off as if he was contemplating something "... maybe I should have named you instead of just calling you both 'daughter'?"

"Yes, father?"

People shrunk backwards at the appearance of the princess on stage.

The gruff manly voice didn't really suit the princess type.

But then again, nothing about this princess really suited the princess type.

Zaraki stood there, eyeing all members of the audience carefully, as if daring them to say anything. None did. The frilly red dress that struggled to contain Zaraki's muscles and the pretty sparkly tights matched with red stilettos made him look like a transvestite more than an elegant young lady. He hadn't even bothered to redo his funky spiked up hair.

It therefore surprised Kya when he easily made his way over to where Joshiro sat on the throne. Did he secretly practice walking in stilettos or something?

"Umm... yeah..." Joshiro struggled to find the right words "... fair... fair daughter... have you heard of a magician in this land?"

"No" he said crustily

"Ok, then, if that's all..."

"But that wasn't all" Byakuya spoke after Joshiro, "for the Prince saw the princess and immediately took in all of her beauty and intelligence-"

Most of the audience scoffed.

"-He fell in love with the princess. He begged the King for her hand in marriage, and of course, the King could not deny him his wish. The wedding was celebrated immediately and by his wife's instructions the Prince placed his dead dog in a glass coffin, and kept it near him to remind himself of the evil results of giving way to his anger"

A glass coffin was wheeled out onto the stage. Renji lay inside, visibly mumbling to himself although no sound could be heard.

"And for a time all was well. The Prince never said a harsh word to his wife. But over time he got caught in familiarity, and became less careful with his words"

"Oh, please, won't you consider doing that for me?" Zaraki said to Momo, the others had already left the stage.

"No! It's foul and degrading!" Momo sounded terrified of her new 'wife'.

"But I want it that way"

"Keep your urges under control"

"I beg of you to be careful of what you say to me. You say you loved your dog, and yet you know where he lies"

"I know that I wish you were there with him!" As soon as Momo finished speaking, another puff of smoke blew up and Zaraki hurried to get into position.

By the time the smoke cleared, Renji's face was pressed up against the glass of the coffin and was squashed completely by Zaraki's large form taking up all the room.

Apparently, Renji was finding it difficult to breathe. But, he was supposed to be already dead, so no one paid much attention to his squirms.

"The Prince was swamped by grief at his mistake and vowed to return to the hermit, where he would live in regret and solitude for the rest of his life. He tried to persuade his advisor to leave him, but he would not. No one from this kingdom seemed to care that their beloved Princess had suddenly disappeared"

"Hermit, does your offer of guidance still stand?" Momo asked Nemu who had stepped on stage again.

"Well, there is a documentary that I want to watch on telly in an hour, but after that I should be free... so yeah, it still stands" Nemu answered

"For a while the Prince remained with the hermit, and submitted to his direction. Then the hermit told him to return to his father and he obeyed"

"Now I can finally catch up on all my soaps" Nemu muttered before walking off again

"And every day the Prince would stand by the coffin of his beloved princess and hound, and anger would consume his heart. However, after a while, the Prince was overcome by grief and his anger calmed. All rejoiced at his change of mood. But the Prince remained sad at heart"

The lights dimmed and a spotlight shone on a character that returned to the stage. Unohana walked up to Momo, the long dark blue robe billowing behind her. The spotlight followed. It gave a very dramatic effect.

"Good day, Godson" Unohana greeted Momo.

"Who is it that would call me Godson?"

"It is I, the magician who you have so long sought" Unohana replied, "I have come to reclaim my gift"

"What took you so long?" Momo asked rather sheepishly

"I have not neglected you. I was the wise woman who brought you up, and I was the hermit who you trained with. Even if I recalled my gift earlier, you would still have been plagued by the anger that has now left you. Moreover, when the spell is taken away, all its effects are also undone. Godson, I recall my gift!"

The lights went up again. Matsumoto ran over to Shunsui and Mayuri, who had crept on stage in the dim lights.

"I can talk again!" she screamed with tears welling up in her eyes. Kya had a feeling those tears at not being able to speak for so long a time were not acted.

"Isn't it wonderful, wife?" Shunsui cried to Mayuri.

He tried to kiss him again, this time only to be met with the trusty pepper-spray.

Ignoring the screaming Shunsui running around the stage blindly, the glass coffin opened and out jumped Renji, gasping for breath.

Nanao and Kira both walked back on stage.

"Where have you two been?" Matsumoto asked them

"Oh, we went on holiday to the sea" Nanao answered casually.

Matsumoto just shrugged.

This was when Zaraki stood up from the coffin.

He towered over Momo and stared at her.

Slowly, a grin took hold of his face.

That was the most Momo could take and she ran off screaming.

Hitsugaya ran up to Zaraki and started yelling at him for making Momo cry.

Yachiru bounced on stage and bit Hitsugaya for insulting her Ken-chan.

Yumichika ran out screaming something about his hair being ready now.

Ikkaku followed him yelling for him to shut up.

Joshiro entered to give his 'daughter' a hug.

Kiyone and Sentaro ran after him crying for attention.

Rukia tried to stop them but only ended up on stage as well.

Nemu walked up to her captain who was now being shouted at by Shunsui for again 'ruining his perfectly rugged face' to see if he was alright.

Omaeda and Iba thought it would be funny to push the cot that still contained baby Komamura out into the audience's field of view again.

Komamura wasn't happy about this.

Soifon followed her lieutenant to see if the rumours that Yoruichi had turned up were true.

Kya just banged her head against the wall.

"And so they all lived happily ever after" Byakuya said over the fighting Shinigami behind him.

The curtains went down and after a few moments of stunned audience, applause slowly built up. Apparently the comedy went down a storm.

Whenever she was asked about it in the future, Kya would suddenly become unusually quiet.

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**Woot! Finally the play's over!! YAY!!! Actually, I don't think this chap was that bad, but you know, whatever...**

**Today lilmeika gets an icecream sundae, coz she said she wanted one, so dig in:D**

**... and BakuraVampire gets some capnip... for his girlfriend... of course... coz that's what every girlfriend wants from her boyfriend... catnip...**

**As always, Rhea doesn't get any treats, but instead gets my love, which isn't nearly as nice as an icecream sundae but whatever... I won't even touch on the catnip...**

**Reviewies make Wosie feel all warm and squishy inside**


	45. A Visit

**Yay! I got reviews! I feel all warm and squishy!**

**Chapter 44 : A visit**

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"Rangiku, you have no idea how good it is to be able to discuss these important matters again"

"Oh, Kya, I do have an idea, I mean, it's not like anyone around here cares that much for these amazingly important things" Matsumoto told Kya

It was the day after the play and things seemed to have settled down again. Kya was back to her usual ways of chatting with Matsumoto or spending time with Byakuya or any other activity she might deem worthy, and everyone else seemed to be trying to readjust to sanity again, or as near as they could get.

"But Rangiku, at least you had people around you to talk to about these things. I'm sure Shiro-chan appreciates all your knowledge"

Matsumoto scoffed.

"Yeah, like Taicho could understand this delicate art" she said sarcastically.

"And what a delicate art it is! I propose a toast!" Kya announced while holding up her half finished cup of sake

"To shopping!" they both cried at once before downing the remainders of the liquid in their cups. Matsumoto poured herself another before offering some to Kya. She accepted.

"You know where there are really good shops? And everything I super cheep?" Matsumoto asked Kya excitedly

"Oooh! Where?"

"The real world!" she cried at the top of her lungs, eyes sparkling with memories of better times

"I know! It is total awesomeness!" Kya responded, eyes also glistening

"We have to go there after you've finished this mission and shop our pretty hearts out!"

"Of course!" Kya paused and looked off thoughtfully, "Actually... maybe we won't have to wait until I finish this mission..."

---------------------------------------------------------------

They stood at the top of the old execution grounds, wondering why Kya had called them all there. The wind whipped around them and whistled through the nearby trees, causing them to bring their robes closer for warmth. It was winter, and even though the seasons never really differed here, the cold still seemed to seep through in places like this. Not one of them could find a single good memory from being here. They were always full of violence or death. This was the place where the great war had started from, where Aizen had first revealed his true intentions to everyone. It was the place where only the worst people had been executed. It was the place where innocent blood had been spilt.

Why had Kya brought them here?

"Tina's doing her dance, Jon's looking for romance, Paul's getting down on the floor, While Hannah's screaming out for more, Wanna see Bradley swing, Wanna see Rachel do her thing, Then we got Jo, she's got the flow, Get ready everybody 'cos here we go! S Club! There aint no party like an S Club party!"

The happy singing cut through the tense air around the cliff and everyone slowly turned their heads one hundred and eighty degrees to stare blank eyed at the person behind them.

Kya walked up to them, grinning like a moron and still singing the annoying song.

They blinked.

"Well, afternoon all!" she stopped singing and greeted them.

They shook their heads to sort out their eyes situation, then turned their bodies so they were no longer looking over their shoulders in a completely impossible way.

"Well then..." Kya continued, "I've called you all up here for something so important it rifles the very nature of humanity in its importantness!"

"And that would be?" Hitsugaya asked moodily. He was still a little upset at yesterday's pink performance.

"The next stage of my investigation!" Kya threw her hands in the air excitedly

This got people's attention. Did that mean the bloody useless tasks were finally over? Maybe Kya had finally listened to that little voice in her mind that resembled common sense?

"And here it is!" She pointed behind the group of officers. They turned and most fell over upon seeing what was in front of their eyes.

Ok, maybe she hadn't listened yet.

Right at the edge of the cliff, before the tremendous drop into oblivion below, stood a gate. Not just any gate either, but the familiar shape of a gate that lead off to another dimension – the real world.

"What the hell?" Renji yelled

Matsumoto squealed as she realised Kya's brilliant plan to take them to the dream world of bargain shopping.

"That's right! The next stage takes place in the real world! Now off we go!" Kya marched forwards towards the gate, swinging her arms determinedly.

She stopped when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

She turned and faced Byakuya directly.

"Kya" was all his deep voice uttered

"Yes?" she asked happily, completely ignoring the stunned faces around her

"We can't just leave, you idiot!" Mayuri screeched

"Why?" Kya asked innocently

"Yes, why?!" Matsumoto's voice was rich with darkness as she turned on Mayuri. Her eyes were gems of anger. No one was going to ruin this opportunity for her! No one!

Mayuri cowered away under the fierce stare of Matsumoto

"Because we're Captains and Lieutenants. We have responsibilities. We can't just up and go like that" Nanao stepped in while reading from a sheet of paper in her hands.

"Meh! Like that's important! What do you guys actually do anyway?" Kya didn't appear to realise the insult of her words and just waved her hands dismissively. The atmosphere suddenly got a lot darker. A ring of angry Shinigami surrounded Kya and towered over her. She didn't seem to notice.

"Besides" she said, "I've already made all the arrangements, Yamamoto says its fine and things have been organised so that they'll run properly in your absence"

Blinking and the dark atmosphere disappeared.

"Really?" Hisagi asked clearly surprised

"Yep! Now off we go!" Kya once again turned to the gate and started towards it.

"Well, if it's alright with Yamamoto then surely it can't do that much damage?" Nemu asked her captain.

"I guess..."

Kya gulped.

Maybe she would contact Yamamoto when they got there to inform him of their little outing.

---------------------------------------------------------------

"Oh, Kiiisssuuukeee!!!" Kya called as she burst into the small shop, followed by twenty Shinigami officials.

"Um, Kya, are you sure it's ok if we just walk in here like this?" Momo asked nervously

"What? Well, of course it is! Kisuke wouldn't mind a visit from me!" she dismissed as she skipped through the shop room, looking around for any trace of the infamous Urahara Kisuke. Byakuya thought she looked a little too happy for a simple visit to a friend. He would have to make sure not to ever leave her alone with that pervert.

The captains and lieutenants stood in the doorway, not really knowing if they should enter the building or not.

"Hmm... I wonder where Tessai is?" Kya mused to herself. She placed her hands to her mouth and called "Hellooooo!"

There was a crash from behind the door at the far end of the room. Kya jumped over to it and threw it open.

"Kisuke!" she screamed overjoyed

"I fell!" Urahara shouted back all too quickly.

The officers looked through the door from where they stood and most of their expressions vanished from their faces.

At least that meant Byakuya wouldn't have to keep such a close eye on Kya.

There was Urahara, sprawled across the floor. Underneath him lay a rather flustered looking Yoruichi.

"And I suppose your shirt just happened to slip off in the process of the fall?" Kya questioned with a small smirk on her face.

"Why, of course, my dear Kya! How else would you explain this?" Urahara stood up and hid his smile behind his trusty fan, who knew where he pulled that out of?

"Yoruichi-san!" Soifon cried as she rushed forwards towards her idol. Yoruichi jumped up and with a pop transformed into a cat, allowing her to run off and dodge another one of Soifon's famous worshipping sessions.

Kya blinked and turned back to Urahara. She was forced to blink again.

"Ok, so hat's more important than shirt?" she asked. Urahara chuckled from behind the fan, his hat now firmly on his head and hiding the top half of his face. The top half of his outfit was still missing.

"I know you love it really" he spoke devilishly

"Oh, Kisuke!" Kya giggled and held her hand in front of her face feigning embarrassment.

"Good morning, Urahara" Byakuya had suddenly flash stepped up next to Kya's side and was eyeing Urahara carefully.

"Byakuya-kun! What a pleasure it is to see you again!" Urahara said in that suspiciously happy voice of his. Byakuya stared icily at him for being called 'Byakuya-kun'.

"Yes" was all he said though it obvious to all around that no honesty lay in his word

"So, Kya what brings you and your army into my humble abode?" Urahara asked Kya peering over her shoulder at the group of Shinigami in the doorway.

"Oh, we were just in the area and decided to pop by" she dismissed. Byakuya didn't like the smile she was giving him.

Urahara noticed the look he was giving him.

"Aww! Is little Byakuya-kun jealous of my manly charms?" he teased

Byakuya twitched.

Kya grinned.

"Well who wouldn't be jealous of your manly charms, Kisuke?" she joked

She remained smiling as she grabbed Byakuya's hand that had involuntarily moved towards the hilt of his zanpaktou.

Before anything else could be said on the vital matter of Urahara's manly charms, a sound interrupted all their thoughts.

The scream ripped through the air and pierced their eardrums.

Byakuya looked towards the direction it was coming from.

Kya and Urahara remained smiling.

---------------------------------------------------------------

**YAYAYAY!! Urahara and his manly charms!!! They're in the real world! Finally! Woot! I'm not hyper...**

**Here's a pretty funny conversation that I had with my dad today:**

**Rf: why are you just sitting there staring into space?  
****Rf's dad: I was reading  
****Rf: and that caused you to suddenly put down the book and stare into space?  
****D: I just finished and put it down before you walked into the room  
****Rf: ... like an ocean without any salt...  
****D: ... you mean a lake?  
****Rf: quiet you! I was trying to be deep!  
****D: it didn't work  
****Rf: ... like a house without any walls...  
****D: ... you mean a pavilion?  
****Rf: ... like a box without any sides...  
****D: ... you mean two planes?  
****Rf: ... like a movie without any sound or picture...  
****D: -tries to think-  
****Rf: ha! I win! I am deep, I am!  
****D: ... you mean bollocks?  
****Rf: No!! I win! I win! You can't beat me! –runs off before father thinks of anything clever to say-  
****D: -calls after- Rose, do I need to ring that special doctor again for you?**

**My dad is pretty cool... when he's not being an annoying twit**

**Reviews are like hugs for those without arms...  
****D: -walks in randomly- How can they review if they have no arms?  
****Rf: They can type with their feet, ok?!**


	46. My Ickle Fluffykins

**I've been given tons of homework this week, because mocks are coming up in a few weeks and teachers are starting to panic to finish the course on time. I've got a biology research project for Thursday, basically all my mega-long astronomy coursework that I haven't even started to complete before Thursday, an English essay to write for Friday, and piles of art coursework to do for Wednesday. So just to let you know, it may be a bit slower this week, but I hope not too slow or anything**

**Chapter 45 : My ickle Fluffykins**

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The high pitched scream ripped through the air.

All Shinigami present turned and looked to the direction where it had originated from. All except for Kya and Urahara. They continued to smile whimsically at each other, not even batting an eyelid at the noise.

"What the-?" Hitsugaya muttered

"A hollow?" Hisagi asked

"It didn't really sound like the 'oh my god a giant freak monster has come to eat my soul' type of scream" Joshiro stated

Everyone rushed outside and rounded the corner to where the tremendous din was still echoing forth from. Byakuya had to literally grab Kya and drag her along. Urahara followed behind, not even bothering to get fully dressed.

Once they turned the corner and saw the culprit of the screams, all stood still. Shock hung above their heads like a dark cloud. There seemed to be a small break in the ominous cloud above Kya's and Urahara's head.

Obviously, this was not something that surprised them.

"Help! It's going to kill me! Someone save me!"

"Um... Tsukabishi-san?" Renji asked rather nervously.

Tessai stopped in his jumping around on the spot and turned towards the group of officers. It took him all of two seconds to register their presence.

"Help me!" he screamed in a very feminine squeal. He leapt over to them and then jumped sideways into Renji's arms. The sudden large weight of a muscular man made Renji buckle and fall to the ground. Tessai sat on top of his inanimate form, crying.

"Oh my! What's wrong?" Matsumoto asked him concerned.

"It's... it's..." Tessai couldn't finish the sentence and instead just pointed to the ground a few feet away from them.

They looked.

They blinked.

Some fell over.

Crawling away from them slowly across the dirt floor was a tiny, hairy, black spider.

Momo squealed and subconsciously made a grab for Hitsugaya's arm. He looked down at her hand and a small blush crossed his face.

Joining Momo in the squealing was another.

Kira jumped up and, to the surprise of only a few there, started clinging onto Hisagi around the shoulders. What did surprise people was that Hisagi didn't really seem to mind that much.

"Kill it!" Kira screamed in a voice that matched Mayuri's in terms of screechiness.

"Ok, ok, no need to panic everyone!" Kya stepped forwards, "It's not hurting anyone, now is it? So why don't we just leave it be and g-"

"Kill it!" Kira repeated only louder.

"Look, it's perfectly safe, I'll even pick it up if you want and then we can ju-"

"Kiiill iiiit!" this time the frequency practically blew Kya's eardrums apart.

"Ok, fine!" she sighed as she walked up to the little defenceless creature and hovered her foot over where it was scurrying on the ground. She looked at it. The poor thing. How could she so brutally murder such an innocent animal? Just look at those cute little legs!

Kya reached down and slowly picked the spider up in her hand.

"Aww! I shall call you Fluffy! And you shall be mine!" she said as if she was talking to a kitten, "You are such a cute little Fluffy! Yes you are! Yes you are!"

"Ahhh! The witch has been tainted!" Kira screamed while pointing at Kya

"Oh, come on! It's just a spider! It isn't going to creep up on you while you sleep and cut off your eyelids or anything!" Kya yelled defensively.

Kira grasped at his eyelids suddenly.

"Kill it!" he shouted firmly

"Nooo! Don't worry, baby, I shall not let them hurt you! My ickle Fluffykins!" she cooed the hairy monster, "I shall protect you from all the evil Shinigami here and make sure you live a long and prosperous life so that-"

Kya hand went splat into the wall, squashing Fluffy into a mush.

"Hey!" she complained

Byakuya stood next to her, looking rather pleased at just nudging her arm and causing Fluffy's untimely demise.

"Oops"

---------------------------------------------------------------

They all sat in a circle on the ground. A rather large circle at that. So large that the little rooms the shop contained were not large enough and they had moved into the basement cave.

This cave always seemed to remind Kya of something else. The image of Urahara running down the steps, coat billowing behind him as he stepped onto the rocky floor, always just seemed to pop into her head. Of course, the batman theme tune had to be playing in the background. This was the Kisuke Cave! She wondered where all the high-tech equipment was stored. And where had he hidden the famous Kisuke-moblie?

After successfully finding the top half of his outfit, Urahara had ushered them down the stairs so that they could have enough room to breathe without knocking everything in his store flying. They didn't really know why they were here. Neither did Urahara to be honest. But Kya would only bring them here for a good reason, or a stupid reason, or a stupidly good reason. Urahara pondered at which she had chosen today.

"So," she spoke up, breaking the little chatters that were taking place around the circle, "where are you guys staying anyway?"

"Huh?"

"Me and Taicho bagsy Orihime's place!" Matsumoto exclaimed

"What?" Hitsugaya yelled at his lieutenant.

"I'm sorry; will you please reiterate that last question, Kya?" Nanao asked

"Um... while we're here... where are you guys going to stay... like sleep and stuff?" Kya said slowly as so not to be misunderstood

"Just how long do you expect us to stay here?" Zaraki spoke over the increasing noise his fellow captains were beginning to make.

"Oh, you know, as long as it takes" Kya dismissed. Well, that was very informative.

"Where are _you_ staying, Purple-chan?" Yachiru asked excitedly from atop Zaraki's head.

"Well, here of course! That is," she turned to Urahara beside her, "if that's ok with you?"

"Naturally my dear! How could I ever turn you away?" he answered while letting out a small giggle.

"Then it's settled, me and Byakuya are staying here!" Kya said happily while nodding.

Byakuya stared icily at Urahara.

Urahara gave a small flirtatious wave while grinning like an idiot.

"Well, that's alright for you then, but there isn't enough room for all of us!" Renji shouted out the obvious

"Yeah, that's why I'm asking where you guys plan on staying" Kya replied

"But that's not fair!" Renji yelled

"Stop complaining! Just go ask Ichigo if you can stay at his for a while!" Matsumoto told him. Renji looked disgusted.

"There is no way in hell that I am going to stay with that carrot-top!" he exclaimed offended at the mere suggestion.

"Aww, just because you're jealous that you don't have Rukia living in _your_ closet" Matsumoto said

"What? I am not jealous of-"

"Would you please explain why you would be jealous of someone because of my sister, Abarai?" Byakuya interrupted. Although he spoke politely, no one missed the threat in his words.

"Umm... no reason..." Renji gulped

"Wait! Who's this 'carrot-top' we're talking about?" Kya asked now confused at the change in conversation

"Carrot-top! Fluffy-hair! Orange-ranger! Super-cool-bankai-coat-man!" Yachiru shouted as she jumped down from Zaraki and ran over to Kya. This only confused Kya further.

"Err..."

"Kurosaki Ichigo, he is the substitute Shinigami that broke into Seireitei and rescued Rukia, as well as helping win the war against Aizen" Byakuya informed her

"Kurosaki? As in Isshin?" Kya asked now interested

"I believe he is his son" Byakuya replied

"Well then, why didn't someone mention this before?" Kya stood up and looked around at the group of officers. None failed to notice the dangerous glint in her eyes. "I think we all ought to pay little Ichigo a visit, don't you?"

"Yay! Carrot-top visit!"

---------------------------------------------------------------

"Iiichiiigoooo!!!"

Ichigo successfully managed to knock his deranged father away with a single kick and he fell back onto the floor in a heap. Isshin didn't stay there long however.

"Oh, I'm so proud! I managed to teach our son so well, didn't I, Masaki? See how well I taught him? Aren't I a fine specimen of a father?"

"Dad, please stop talking to the poster, Yuzu's got dinner ready on the table" Karin told her father while walking into the room and sitting at the table.

"Oh, woe is me! Sometimes I think I am the only member of this family that cares to talk to you, Masaki! Isn't it a just cause to speak to my dead wife from time to time? Indeed, I couldn't imagine a time where a brief conversation with you hasn't sorted out any problems in my mind! I remember a time when I was fretting over whether I'd survive having to raise three cruel children on my own, but one look at your smiling image and all my doubts left my mind! It was as if a heavenly angel came down and-"

The punch to the face succeeded in stopping Isshin's wild rant to the poster. Ichigo walked past him and sat opposite Karin at the table.

Isshin crawled over to the corner and huddled up into a ball, where he remained sulking.

Yuzu walked into the room carrying a steaming pot of some delicious smelling food. She smiled brightly.

Isshin sniffed.

He suddenly jumped up and ran to the table and sat down expectantly, a massive smile on his face.

"Mood swings much?" Karin asked, more to herself than actually her father.

Karin had just placed the pot down in front of her on the kitchen table when the door bell rang.

"I'll get it!" Isshin shouted excitedly as he leapt up and ran out of the room to the front door.

Ichigo shook his head sadly.

"Sometimes I really do think about calling that mental institution"

---------------------------------------------------------------

Isshin reached the front door in less than a second, knocking no less than two lamps over in the process. Who could be calling on them so unexpectedly? Surely it must be someone of huge importance, who could change their lives forever! Maybe it was the Queen of England come to congratulate him on raising three of the finest children alive? Or maybe it was that ugly guy with the massive cheque that would instantly make them millionaires?

He flung open the door, expecting to see flocks of camera crews.

He was greeted with a slightly less appealing sight.

Before him stood twenty of the best Shinigami in the whole of Seireitei, and two from outside. His smile faltered.

"Greetings, Isshin!"

---------------------------------------------------------------

**So, finally Ichigo has been introduced into the story. To be honest, I think he's a twit... but I'll put up with him for the sakes of the story. I also don't agree with the Ichiruki pairing (mainly because I don't like either of the people involved), but it'll probably happen in this story anyway at least a bit. So bleh...**

**I'm not sure how much further I've got to go with this fic, I know it's not that much more. It depends how long I make some of the scenes, but I've already written the last couple of chaps in my mind so I don't think I'll drag it out too unnecessarily. Maybe 70 chaps in total? But that's a complete guess based on scenes in my mind... might be less, might be more**

**Reviews? **

**ISSIIIT?!**


	47. Ichigo's Best Buddies

**I've put my back out doing power pilates and now it proper hurts. I'm ok though... I just can't move my spine**

**Chapter 46 : Ichigo's best buddies**

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Kya, Matsumoto and Yachiru stood at the front of the group, smiling widely at the man who had just opened the door.

Isshin didn't move.

After ten seconds of silence, however, that changed. The door slammed shut and Isshin disappeared behind it.

"No one's home!" they heard from inside.

Everyone watched with interest as Kya raised her hand.

She leaned forwards.

She pressed the doorbell again.

The door opened and Isshin looked out at them surprised, as if he had expected them to go away and new people to approach in the last two seconds.

"Oh, shit" was all he said before trying to slam the door again. Kya was too fast and her foot successfully blocked the door's path as Isshin struggled with the handle trying to close it.

"Why, Isshin! It would almost appear as if you didn't want to see me!" Kya exclaimed as she pushed the door fully open and stepped past Isshin so she was inside. Yachiru bounced after her.

"I don't have it!" Isshin screamed at Kya wide-eyed.

"Oh yes you do!" she returned

"No! No! No!" he cried

"Pay up now! I won fair and square!"

"But that was one hundred years ago!"

"It was still a bet and you lost!"

"Fine!" Isshin gave in and he reached into his pocket. He pulled something out and passed it to Kya. She held it up in the air and examined it closely.

"Mine! Mine! Mine!" she screamed crazy-like. People fell over at seeing what she had won. Was one hundred yen really worth all that?

Kya coughed and put the note up one of her sleeves to keep it safe.

"So, Isshin, good to see you again" she said back to normality, whatever normality was for Kya.

"Dad? I heard yelling, I hope you haven't been insulting old ladies again" They turned and looked at the boy who had just entered the hall. Ichigo stood there, blank-eyed, completely dumbfounded as to why some woman with purple hair was standing in front of his father, and to why she was accompanying one of the most annoying lieutenants Seireitei had ever seen. The second question was the one that Ichigo focused on.

Yachiru jumped around the hall and off the walls, squealing merrily as she did so.

"Y- You!" Ichigo shouted while trying to point at the bouncing girl, he didn't do it very well as Yachiru kept on jumping out of the path of his point.

"Me!" Yachiru cried happily back to him.

"Yes, her" Ichigo stumbled backwards at the familiar voice. Zaraki stepped through the open door and into Ichigo's field of view. The dark aura around him was almost as frightening as the dangerous look he gave him.

"These are friends of yours, Ichigo?" Isshin spoke up, "Well then, why don't they all join us for dinner?"

"What?!" Ichigo screeched at his father

"Yes! Food!" Renji said as he too made his way casually inside.

"I'm famished!" then there was Matsumoto.

"Are you sure there's enough room?" and Kira.

Ichigo stared as the long line of Shinigami entered his house. And not just any Shinigami either, all of the captains and lieutenants apart from the Commander-general and his lieutenant were present. What the hell was happening? Why were they all here? In his house? At one time? When Urahara tried to enter he had had enough of it.

"Stop!" he shouted loudly to be overheard above the chatter these people were producing. They all turned to face him. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We were in town and thought we might visit you" the purple haired woman told him. He looked at the others. They all nodded in agreement.

"And who are you?" he asked her.

"I'm Kya, nice to meet you" she said quickly before turning back to his father, "now where shall we all go?"

"Oh, in there please" Isshin ushered them into the sitting room where there might just be enough room for the pack.

"Wait! You can't just burst in here like this!"

"Weren't we invited Kurosaki-kun? It would be rude not to accept an invitation, wouldn't it?" Urahara appeared two inches in front of his face and smiled. Ichigo shoved his face away from him.

"I don't care! Just get out!"

---------------------------------------------------------------

"And then the tortoise said 'It doesn't matter if your small, a house is a house!'" Kya finished her joke and was met with laughter from the room.

Ichigo sat in the corner, grumbling to himself about the injustice of it all. Why did he have to be stuck with such an idiotic father that would actually invite these people into their home? He could have just turned them away, but oh no, Isshin didn't have enough brain power for that, did he? He had to let them in and treat them as if they were guests. He even fed them. Now Ichigo was sure that he would never be able to get rid of them. Kinda like pigeons.

But then again, at least if they were pigeons he could simply put rat poison out and kill them all. Getting rid of twenty two already dead morons was slightly more difficult.

"You're keeping very quiet, Carrot-top. Aren't you happy to see all your old friends again?" That woman asked him once the laughter had settled down. An anger mark sprang to life on Ichigo's head.

"What did you call me? And why the hell would I be happy to see these guys again?" he roared at her

"Carrot-top, coz that's what you look like, and of course you should be happy to see everyone again, why wouldn't you?" Kya replied

"Because you're all deranged freaks that have no idea what sanity even looks like!"

Slowly, all heads turned around on necks towards him. The evil glinting eyes did not make Ichigo feel safe. Maybe he shouldn't have said that last sentence.

"I mean... uh... I have some homework to do!" he quickly made an excuse and ran out of the room. Even homework was better than sitting with all those people that most likely wanted to kill him. Sure, some of them were nice and he could actually talk to. But he was positive most of them were simply plotting the easiest way to dispose of the body. He gulped at the thought as he entered his room.

He stopped.

He blinked upon seeing the person who was already sitting on his bed.

"Uh... hi..."

---------------------------------------------------------------

Byakuya suddenly looked up at the door to the room.

Kya stopped her rampant discussion to Isshin and Urahara and turned her attention to him.

"What's the matter?" she asked clearly concerned. He didn't answer, but instead continued to gaze at the door in contemplation. This only succeeded in worrying Kya further. "Byakuya?"

He stood up from his seat in one of the few chairs in the room, that he had so graciously been offered, and made his way towards the door. He walked out into the hall and made for where he felt it, the riatsu, echoing forth from.

He heard Kya apologise to her companions before following his lead and exiting.

"Byakuya? What's wrong?" she asked as she caught up to him in the hallway. He continued to walk until he reached what he judged to be the correct door.

He swung it open.

"Please explain, if you would be so kind, what you are doing with my sister, Kurosaki?" he asked the boy inside the room.

Ichigo jumped up from sitting on the bed. Rukia remained seated next to where he had previously been.

"Wha- Byakuya? What are you doing in my room? How did you know Rukia was here? What's going on?" Ichigo rambled nervously. Byakuya just kept his cold stare.

"That did not answer my question"

"Err... I wasn't doing anything! I really wasn't!" he cried defensively. Byakuya stepped forwards. Ichigo started to panic. "Rukia! Tell your brother we weren't doing anything!"

"I'm not sure I can do that, Ichigo" she said with a small smirk on her face at how Ichigo was acting. Byakuya mistook this for something else.

His hand reached for the hilt of Senbonzakura.

Ichigo backed up and started waving wildly.

"I swear we weren't! Rukia! Stop being such an idiot and tell him!"

"And now you're insulting me?" Rukia shouted at him. Byakuya continued to advance.

"Umm... Byakuya?" Byakuya paused and turned to face Kya. He raised an eyebrow inviting her to continue. "He's telling the truth"

He glanced at the pair inside the room doubtfully. Ichigo nodded fervently, trying to persuade him that Kya was right. Rukia was trying not to laugh at Ichigo's current state of panic. Under Byakuya's gaze her laughter stopped.

"Nii-sama?" now it was her turn to sound nervous.

Byakuya suddenly turned and left the room, going back to the others.

Kya continued to stand in the doorway.

"How did you know I was telling the truth?" Ichigo asked her confused. Kya smirked.

"What can I say? It's a gift!" she yelled before also turning and leaving.

"Knowing when people have been doing things is a gift?" Rukia whispered also confused.

"Who is she, anyway?" Ichigo asked

"I'm not really sure" she answered honestly. Truth was, she didn't know anything about Kya, at all, apart from what she had learnt while having her direct the play. She was able to save Ichigo from her brother's attack though, so that must be something.

Ichigo turned to her.

"And you! Why the hell didn't you say anything?" he shouted

"Meh, it didn't seem that important to me"

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Ichigo guessed when it was time that he could safely leave his room without being attacked by at least one of the captains or lieutenants.

He guessed wrong.

"Ichigo! Good to see ya!" Ichigo blinked when he entered the sitting room. There, stretched out on his couch, with a mountain of junk food in front of him, was Renji.

"What are you still doing here?" he asked while sighing.

"Watching this television thing, I tell ya, some of these shows are really good" Renji answered before shoving another chocolate bar into his fat gob.

"That's not what I meant" Ichigo told him. He noticed what Renji was watching. He would have laughed if he wasn't so upset at him being here in the first place. He wouldn't tell Renji that Golden Girls was not something a young straight guy would watch. He would have to find that out someway himself.

"I'm staying here. Your father invited me to, since we're such good buddies"

"What? How long for?" Ichigo shouted

Renji shrugged.

Ichigo had to force himself not to kick his face in.

"You can't! This is my home, not some guesthouse!" he instead settled for yelling

"Really? Coz by the amount of people your father invited I thought it must've been" Renji dismissed.

Huh?

"Who else did he invite?" Ichigo asked, not really sure if he wanted to know the answer.

"Nearly everyone, but of course they wouldn't all fit, so only two others are actually staying" Renji said with his eyes glued on the screen. He suddenly pointed at it and burst out laughing "Oh my god! You go girl!"

"Who?"

"Rose! She's a genius!" Renji exclaimed while still pointing at the screen

"I didn't mean in the show! I meant-"

Ichigo didn't have to finish his sentence. The dark shadow that formed over him explained everything clearly.

He turned.

He gulped.

Zaraki grinned.

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**Thanks to Kyradda for the Renji and Zaraki at Ichigo's house suggestion. Nah, I don't have everything already planned out, just basic events I want to happen and some important scenes, but minor stuff like this can change really easily, often for the better:D**

**Btw, one hundred yen is equivalent to about 80 or 90 US cents. Just in case you didn't know.**

**Oh, and Sakiru Yume, I started reading your story. I just don't think I can continue. Not because it's rubbish, coz it really really isn't! Just because I don't like Ichigo, so it isn't really my thing. But it is good! So pleeeaaase don't be insulted by me saying this! If you are, I'm soooo soooorrrryy!!!! Pleeeaaase don't hate me!!! I love you really! I love all the dedicated people that take time to review! They are my homeboys, coz I'm so hip and down with the crew! XD**

**Rhea, Rhea, Rhea... you get more love than all my other reviews combined. Just remember the poem I wrote for you in Year 7 and you'll se I'm not lying...**

_**Rhea, Rhea  
**__**Go drink some beer  
**__**And act like a deer  
**__**Caught in the headlights...**_

**See? How much more heartfelt could I get? –sniff-**


	48. Sharing

**Welcome one and all to the world of Rose!**

**Chapter 47 : Sharing**

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Kya snuggled into the sheets further and tried to grasp as much warmth as possible. Sure, it wasn't that cold for this time of year, but after spending two months in Seireitei she had begun to grow accustomed to the usual warm weather. Waking up and finding the temperature suddenly less than normal therefore made her seek as much warmth as possible. She cursed herself for growing so used to Seireitei in so short a time. She should be used to weather like this; for god's sake she had once spent a year living in the Arctic Circle without any central heating at all. Usually she'd embrace the cold, it was better than the blinding heat summer brought. But now it was just... cold.

After yesterday's visit to the Kurosaki residence most of the officers had run off to find somewhere where they could spend a few nights at the least. Kya was extremely happy about leaving Renji and Zaraki at Ichigo's. She had heard the stories of the constant bickering or almost fatal battles and felt secure that they would not miss an opportunity like this to sit around in a circle playing Monopoly. She added that to the list of interesting things that could happen while here in her mind.

Matsumoto had rushed off to someone called Orihime's place, apparently she had stayed there before, and Kya had a sneaky suspicion that Hitsugaya had followed her, although he didn't tell anyone this of course. He wasn't a child, he could find somewhere on his own.

The others were not quite as simple to find homes for however. Well, finding homes for fifteen stray cats that each had mental disorders would never be simple.

Did Karakura have a Travel Lodge or something? Would that Travel Lodge have fifteen free rooms? Would Mayuri even be accepted at a Travel Lodge with that ridiculous mask that he still refused to remove?

Kya dismissed the questions from her thoughts. They were all responsible adults, well adults at least, if they couldn't find a room for a few measly nights then surely they weren't worthy of being captains or lieutenants in the first place. It was their problem now; Kya didn't need to worry about it. Besides, the whole homeless look would suit some of them quite well.

Kya's eyes slowly fluttered open. They were met with a familiar comforting sight.

Byakuya gazed back at her in return, the tiniest trace of a smile evident of his face.

Kya shifted closer to him and nestled against his chest.

"Mmm... warm" she said sleepily. She felt Byakuya's chest move in what she assumed was silent laughter and only curled up more. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her softly on the forehead.

"Yes, very" he whispered. Kya looked up at him again. Her eyelids closed as their lips connected. The kiss was deep yet gentle but gradually gained more passion. Kya let out a moan.

"Kisuke"

Byakuya drew back and looked at Kya, clearly stunned. Kya looked confused.

"Did you just say 'Kisuke'?" he asked her. To his surprise, Kya started smiling.

"No, well, yes, but not like that, wait" she told Byakuya perfectly calmly. She then turned her head towards the door, "Kisuke, you pervert! Stop listening at the door!"

Byakuya watched as the door slowly slid open and Urahara stood behind it.

"My dear Kya, I was not listening; I was merely checking that you were ok" Byakuya stared daggers at his smiling face.

"Well, I'd prefer it if you didn't 'check that I was ok' again" Kya replied also smiling.

Urahara pouted.

Byakuya glared.

Kya pointed to the door.

Disappointedly, Urahara turned and closed the door behind him. Kya listened closely for any sign that he was still there. When she judged it was safe she turned back to Byakuya. He looked concerned.

"What?" Kya asked worried at his expression. He sat up and looked at Kya in the eyes. He then turned away.

"It's nothing" he said. Kya sat up next to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"No it's not, tell me" she whispered soothingly. She knew Byakuya. Something was bothering him, and if he didn't get it off his chest now then it would plague his mind forever and only grow in importance until he would finally break down. It was the opposite as Kya. If someone tried to get information about what she was thinking out of her, it would only cause her to close up more. It was a defence mechanism. She had to be left until she found the right words to tell somebody. Byakuya wouldn't think of the right words, he'd just sit there with his mind in turmoil until he'd crack.

"It's just..." he whispered back "... you and him... you haven't ever..."

He couldn't finish the sentence. He didn't need to. Kya knew what he meant.

"What? Ewww! No!" Kya genuinely sounded grossed out by the thought and Byakuya looked at her

"Why not?" he asked

"Because he's like my brother, it would be icky!"

"Brother?"

"Yeah!" Kya nodded with wide-eyes, as if Byakuya would have to be blind to think they were anything else, "Look, I know we make stupid jokes sometimes, but that's all they are; jokes. We've got this weird brother/sister relationship, nothing else. Honestly Byakuya, how could you even imagine something like that?"

Byakuya sighed and let out a small laugh in relief. How could he imagine that? It was so obvious that Kya didn't like Urahara like that, and yet it took her actually spelling it out for him to realise it. Sometimes he was a bit too overprotective of her.

Kya wrapped her arms around his neck and brought her lips to his ear.

"Besides, I don't like being shared" she playfully whispered.

"Good" he replied with a small smirk, "because I don't like sharing"

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"Rangiku! Rangiku!" Kya pounded on the door in front of her, waiting for it to open. "Rangikuuuu!"

The door opened and Kya blinked at the girl before her.

"Oh, hey" she said after regaining her composure, "you must be Orihime."

"Yes" the orange haired girl replied in a sweet voice, "are you a friend of Matsumoto-kun?"

"Yeah, I'm Kya"

"It is a pleasure to meet you Kya-san" Orihime said quickly while bowing

"Yeaaah..." Kya ignored the hated formality, "is Rangiku here?"

"Kya!" Matsumoto popped up from behind Orihime and smiled. Kya stepped backwards. "What?"

"It's just..." Kya started, "you two are so alike you could be mother and daughter"

The two orange-haired, big-breasted ladies turned to each other. They peered at the other questioningly, not really seeing the resemblance. Then what Kya said hit Matsumoto. She gasped and stared at Kya.

"Oh my god! Are you saying I look like a mother? I'm not old, am I? I don't have wrinkles! Tell me I don't have wrinkles!" Matsumoto screamed while moving her face closer to Kya so she could get a better look. Kya leaned backwards so she could see again.

"No, Rangiku! Of course you don't! I didn't mean it like that!" Kya tried to fix what she said. It was too late.

"I'm old! I'm old! I'm old!" Matsumoto started crying and ran back inside the apartment. Kya followed and Orihime stood by the door, stunned by the events.

"Rangiku! You're not old! I meant sister! I meant sister!" Kya told Matsumoto who was sitting in the corner weeping.

Matsumoto looked up at Kya between sobs.

"Really?" she asked hopefully

"Of course! You don't look like a mother, do you? Why would I call you one? Even if you are centuries older than Orihime!" Matsumoto stood up, brushed herself off and a smile returned to her face.

"So then" she said as if nothing had happened, "what did you want to see me about?"

"I'm going to make some tea" Orihime told them after realising what had happened and returning inside. "Is beef and vanilla alright for everyone?"

"Yep!" Matsumoto yelled excitedly at the prospect of beef and vanilla tea. Kya didn't say anything.

Orihime left the room to make the delicious sounding tea. Matsumoto turned back to Kya, waiting for her to say why she had come.

Then Kya remembered.

She started jumping up and down eagerly.

"Oh my god, Rangiku! I have the best idea ever!"

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Renji sat on the couch in the Kurosaki living room, eating from a bag of popcorn while watching some drama which in the last twenty four hours he had practically become addicted to. Every now and then he would be disturbed by Ichigo running through the room yelling something to the large eye-patched man chasing him. This race had been going on since Ichigo realised Zaraki was here, and Zaraki had still to catch him. Renji had grown used to the interruptions by now. He just wished they would not burst in at the most heart wrenching moments of the drama.

The door once again flew open and Renji looked up expecting to see a panicked Ichigo. It therefore surprised him when someone else walked in.

"Rukia?"

"Hey, Renji" she spoke casually as she walked in and sat next to him on the couch.

"What are you doing here?" Renji asked clearly shocked

"I'm still on patrol, idiot" she answer before grabbing some of the popcorn and shoving it into her mouth

"Then why don't you stay somewhere else? It isn't normal for a girl to stay at a guy's house!" Renji yelled

"Ichigo's dad seemed pretty happy to have me here" she said normally while staring at the television screen

"Ichigo's dad is a moron!" Renji so kindly informed her. Rukia hit him on the head.

Just then the door again burst open.

"We've been inviiittteeeed!" Isshin sang as he floated on air into the room. Renji looked at Rukia, daring her to disagree with him now.

"Invited to what?" she instead asked Isshin. He jumped over to her and flourished a small white card.

"To a paaarrrtyyy!" he was singing again. Renji tried not to give in to the urge to smack him. He handed the card to Rukia and she looked at it.

"Oh"

Renji grabbed the card out of her hands, earning him another hit on the head. He ignored it as he read the swirling letters on the invitation. He blinked. This was not good.

_To all present in the Kurosaki house at the current time,_

_You have been invited to:  
__The Great Christmas Ball  
__25__th__ December  
__7pm  
__23 Mukai Street, Karakura_

_I would be honoured if you chose to attend  
__Yours truly,  
__Kya _

_(by the way, I'm just trying to be polite, if you don't show up then I'll have to cut off all your fingers)_

This really was not good.

"Party time!" Isshin cried while jumping around the room. His face suddenly appeared in front of Rukia's. "Hey, Rukia, do you know what comes before Part B?"

"Err..."

"Partaayyyy!!!" He jumped back again and started dancing to silent music.

Renji sat there dumbfounded.

Ichigo ran through the room yelling obscenities.

Zaraki shortly followed.

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**Nothing to say today... cept that my back is still being a feckass... but oh well**

**Review?**


	49. the ASCSMOF

**My back's almost completely back to normal again. Finally.**

**This one's pretty long and has some random comedy in it... mainly certain captains without any clothes on... **

**Chapter 48 : The Amazingly Super Christmas Shopping Mission of Fun**

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"Our mission for today – hunter gather the necessary objects for tomorrow!"

"Yessir!"

"Rangiku, I'm not a sir" Kya whispered to Matsumoto as if it was a secret. Matsumoto stood down from her saluting position and looked embarrassed.

"Uh, sorry" she whispered in return.

"Anyway, continuing with the task!" Kya announced. Matsumoto stood up straight again and put on her best army face, which turned out wasn't very army like. "Items to be hunter gathered; Christmas presents for all important people!"

"Christmas presents for all important people!" Matsumoto repeated

"Decorations for the ball!" Kya read off the clipboard in her hand

"Decorations for the ball!"

"Other necessary equipment for the ball!"

"Other necessary equipment for the ball!" Matsumoto looked at Kya and added "That means booze, right?"

"Naturally" Kya told her before getting back to the list, "And finally, outfits for the ball!"

"Outfits for the ball!" At this both Kya and Matsumoto squealed and jumped up and down on the spot, overjoyed at the prospect of clothes shopping. Kya cleared her throat and continued in the serious voice.

"Now, time limit for this mission; well, I suppose it has to be today seeing as Christmas is tomorrow, um... as long as we want!" Kya announced. Matsumoto squealed again. "Alright! Stations ready! Go!"

At this Kya and Matsumoto grabbed each other's hand and ran into the shopping mall they were standing outside, shoving quite a few unknowing shoppers out of their way in the process. This was far too important to take notice of minor things like manners. This was the Amazingly Super Christmas Shopping Mission of Fun!

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Kya ran her finger over the railing that was holding up a rack of red t-shirts. She was thinking deeply.

"Rangiku?" she asked in a thoughtful voice. Matsumoto mumbled in response while inspecting the hems of one particular shirt. "What should I get Byakuya?"

Matsumoto dropped the shirt back onto the stand and looked up at Kya shocked.

"You mean you haven't got him anything yet?" she shouted astonished at Kya's lack of organisation

"Well..." Kya replied trying to sound innocent "isn't that one of the points of the mission? To get presents?"

"But still! It's Christmas Eve already! What if you don't find anything today? What if all the good stuff has already gone? What if mutants came down in the night and stole all the good presents? What if-"

"Woah, never thought of that" Kya put a finger to her chin and pondered the probability of mutants stealing presents. Things didn't look good for her.

"Ok, ok, no need to panic, just think about this" Matsumoto said quickly, obviously she was panicking a lot more than Kya, "what would Byakuya like?"

"Well, when we were still only friends we promised each other that we would only ever get stuff that the other person wants, like useful stuff" Kya told Matsumoto who was trying to calm her breathing by breathing into a paper bag. Matsumoto stopped and looked at Kya.

"That narrows it down somewhat" she said. She then starting to think, and really think. She thought like she hadn't thought in years. It was difficult seeing as usually her mind was full of dreams of alcohol or sleep or taking pictures of her captain in secret. "Um... how about a writing brush?"

"He's got about fifty already" Kya dismissed the suggestion and went back to looking at a pretty red tank top. She looked down at what she was wearing at the moment. She quickly put the almost identical shirt to what she had on back into the rack. Matsumoto was back to thinking.

"Oh, I know! I know! Pick me!" she started jumping on the spot with her finger in the air. Kya looked at her. "Underwear!"

Kya just gave her a knowing smile. Matsumoto's jaw hit the floor.

"Byakuya goes commando?! That's so manly!" she yelled excitedly. Kya nodded while grinning. Then Matsumoto went back to the problem at hand. "Hmm... well do you know what he's got you? Coz you know, you don't want to get him a paperclip when he's got you a gold plated toilet seat or something, do you?"

"No, but knowing him it's probably far better than anything I could think of for him" Kya sounded defeated and looked at the floor.

"Aww! Kyaaa!" Matsumoto ran over to her friend and gave her a hug. Kya struggled to breath underneath the weight of those enormous breasts. Matsumoto let go and looked Kya in the eye, for once seeming serious about something. So what if it wasn't world hunger or poverty? This was a very important matter. "We'll find something, even if it takes the rest of our afterlives!"

"Umm... we've got until tomorrow" Matsumoto's face fell at Kya's revelation and she reached for the paper bag again. This was all too much for her!

"My dear friend, I still don't see why we need suits" Kya and Matsumoto looked up at the familiar voice.

"Shunsui?" Kya thought aloud. Shunsui obviously heard this as soon his face had appeared between the clothes in the rack next to them.

"Kya! What a surprise it is to see you here!" he yelled happily, eyes twinkling. Joshiro's head suddenly appeared next to Shunsui's. Kya stared at the two floating heads in the sea of clothes.

"Good morning Kya, a pleasure as always" Joshiro greeted her smiling.

"Oh my God, what are you two doing here?" Kya asked them returning the massive grin.

"Well..." Shunsui started dramatically. "... After receiving your amazing invitation we agreed that we both needed to prepare ourselves so that we looked our best for this important occasion,"

Joshiro stepped elegantly through the clothing rack so that he was no longer just a head.

"And naturally we thought that-" Shunsui tried to follow Joshiro but only got caught on a hanger. He stumbled, tripped, and fell in front of the others, bringing the clothing rack with him. The shoppers around gave him odd looks. He stood up quickly and started trying to pick the rail up along with all the clothes. He didn't get very far before giving up and hushing the others away from the wreck he had created. He glanced around the room to see if anyone had noticed. When he saw that nearly all of them had, he decided to move further away from the scene of incident.

"Anyway," Kya spoke up through the silence of Shunsui looking around the store as if he had just killed someone, "did I hear you saying you didn't see why you had to wear a suit?"

"Err..." now Shunsui looked even more guilty.

"You did indeed, Kya" Joshiro spoke up for him

"What?" Matsumoto screeched "Of course you have to wear a suit! If you don't then-"

"Please tell me you weren't planning on coming just in your Shinigami uniform" Kya interrupted Matsumoto's shouts and looked at the pair apprehensively

"Of course not!" Shunsui defended

"Then what?" Matsumoto yelled at them

"Something better than a suit!" Shunsui announced proudly. It was obviously his idea as Joshiro did not seem quite so excited at it.

"There is nothing better than a suit!" Kya exclaimed sounded shocked at Shunsui's dangerous words.

"Shunsui had the idea of just that" Joshiro said. At Kya's and Matsumoto's confused expressions he continued, "Nothing"

"Nothing? You mean like nude?!" Matsumoto shouted "Kya, you cannot let this happen!"

She looked at Kya hoping for salvation from one of the most disruptive things that could happen at this party. It was too late. Kya had gone into her head again. She was looking into the distance and her eyes were glazed over. She was too busy with the image of naked Shunsui and Joshiro to hear what Matsumoto was saying.

"Uh, Kya?" Matsumoto asked uncertainly.

Kya didn't move.

Shunsui smirked boastfully.

"Kya!" Matsumoto shouted in her ear. Still no response there. Matsumoto decided on the right way to snap her out of this. "Zaraki naked!"

The corner of Kya's lip curled upwards as she continued staring into her own mind.

"Eww! Kya! You like Zaraki?" Shunsui sounded deeply disturbed by this thought.

"Ken-chan's a manly man" Kya muttered

"Iba in a thong!" Matsumoto instead tried.

Well, that certainly did the trick.

Kya's eyes snapped back to the conversation and looked thoroughly grossed out.

"Ew! Ew! Ewww!" she squealed as she grimaced at the thought Matsumoto had so cruelly given her. "That was uncalled for!"

"Sorry, couldn't think of anything else that might work" Matsumoto apologised

"Anyway," Kya turned back to the pair of captains, "you two are not coming to my ball wearing nothing! No matter how smexy the thought might be!"

Shunsui pouted. Joshiro just looked thankful. Above anything, it would be jolly cold going out on Christmas in the buff.

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Kya and Matsumoto left the dress shop with bags upon bags in their hands and chatting away madly. You could never have enough dresses. You just didn't know when they might come in handy. They had just turned a corner making their way towards a different shop where they may find some of the decorations they needed for tomorrow's event when they stopped.

A crowd appeared to have gathered around some sort of fountain. Neither of the women could see what it was that had the audience's attention so focused. They walked closer and Kya managed to hear some of the conversation between two teenage girls.

"The one on the right is so handsome" the girl with pigtails whispered to her friend

"And he's sweet too, look he's looking after his little brother" her friend whispered in response.

"But that other guy is just creepy, what on earth is he wearing on his head?"

"Yeah, they must be theatre students or something. Why else would a ten year old have white hair?"

"Wait, white hair?" Kya asked Matsumoto. This could only mean one thing. Matsumoto pushed the girls aside and ran to the front of the crowd.

"Taicho!" Hitsugaya looked up from sitting on the fountain's edge. His reactions were too slow. Before he could say anything he was being smothered by Matsumoto and her weapons of mass destruction. Kya walked over to them.

"Matsumoto! Let go!" Hitsugaya gasped while trying to breathe. Matsumoto only squeezed tighter.

"No! You are my squishy!" she chimed back to him.

"Why are you my lieutenant again?" Hitsugaya said giving up on struggling.

"Because you love me so much!" Matsumoto finally decided it was time to put her captain down from the death hug and he just grumbled something to himself. Kya looked back at the small crowd of girls that were now disbanding. They were obviously upset that maybe one of these pretty women was the handsome man's girlfriend. Kya turned to the handsome man.

"Hiya!" She waved and, only to annoy any girls that were still watching further, hugged him. Hisagi blinked.

"Err... hello?" he said clearly surprised at Kya's show of affection. Kya let go and turned to the final man in the group. "Good afternoon, Komamura"

"Good afternoon" he said from behind the old bucket that had returned to his head during this visit.

"What are you doing here?" Hitsugaya grunted disappointedly. As if he even needed to ask.

"Shopping!" Kya and Matsumoto cried at the same time. Hitsugaya sighed and shook his head. Why did his lieutenant always find a way to interrupt one of his peaceful days? Here he was, just sitting quietly, and then bam! She had to come and practically murder him. Not only that, but she brought her annoying friend with her. Kya ruffled his hair.

"Aww! You're so cute when you're all moody, Shiro-chan!" she squealed at him. He glared at her.

"What are you guys doing here, anyway?" Matsumoto asked her captain who was currently batting Kya's hand away from his cheek for the fifth time.

"None of your business" he told her moodily. Kya finally managed to grab hold of his cheek and pinched it while looking at him as if he was something small and fluffy. Kya let go and pouted at him.

"God, you're grumpy today" she said to him. She then turned back to Hisagi. "You'll tell me what you're doing here, won't you?"

She fluttered her eyelashes and pouted her lips at him.

"We were looking for something to wear tomorrow" he blurted out. Hitsugaya gave him a meaningful look and he looked down sheepishly at the ground. "Sorry"

"Oh my god! Really? That's just what Shunsui and Joshiro were doing! Isn't it a small world?"

"No, it's just a small town and you only gave us today to find something" Hitsugaya grumbled. Kya was about to start fawning over him again when she turned to look at where two other familiar voices were coming from.

"Nemu, how many times do I have to tell you not to drop those bags?!"

"Sorry, Kurotsuchi-sama" Nemu picked up the bag she had dropped and held it in the hand where there were only three others to look after. Mayuri didn't seem to be holding any.

"Mayuri!" Kya screamed as she ran over and jumped on him. He quickly pushed her away.

"What are you doing, woman?!" he screeched at her. The vein on his head was going to explode pretty soon. People that passed were giving him odd looks. Kya was pretty sure the mask had something to do with it.

"Oh, Mayuri, I wanted to tell you that if you wore that mask tomorrow I would be forced to rip out your eyes and feed them to the ducks in the park" she said suddenly sounding serious. Mayuri just rolled his threatened eyes. He could always just make some more. "And I'll make sure you won't be able to make any more"

Dammit.

"It's for your own good!" Matsumoto joined in the conversation.

"How?"

Matsumoto shrugged.

Mayuri muttered to himself.

Nemu dropped the bags again.

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**Hehe! I like giggling!**

**Oh, and Byakuya **_**does**_** go commando. Just ask Rhea and she'll tell you I'm right. And Shunsui and Joshiro in the buff is a very distracting thought. Try it and you'll see what I mean.**

**Reviews are like... woah...**


	50. A Gift To Remember

**Originally this was going to be a lot longer, but I cut it down realising it was just too complicated. I've got so much homework at the moment, mainly art, coz I'm so far behind. So please excuse any slowness.**

**Chapter 49 : ****A gift to remember**

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Snow drifted gently down from the grey sky until it hit the hard ground and found time to rest there. Byakuya watched with interest as he sat beside the window. The soft white flakes appeared so effortless, as if they could spend their entire lives just floating in the air. It must be cold outside, and yet here, in the security of Urahara's shop, it was warm. Maybe that had something to do with Kya sleeping peacefully behind him in the room. Whenever she was near he felt something similar to warmth, although he knew it wasn't.

He returned his attention back to the dots falling outside, silently wishing they wouldn't stop. Kya had been right, it was beautiful. She was always right. Sure, to most she may appear to be completely out of her head, but Byakuya knew her better. She was always thinking, always wondering. Her knowledge of things far surpassed his own, it may have even surpassed the general's himself. She had learnt much over her many years. She had seen much. He had been confined in his own little world. He knew nothing.

He felt a pair of warm arms wrap around his neck from behind and a gentle weight on his shoulder. Kya sighed dreamily as she rested her head against his from its place on his shoulder.

"Merry Christmas" he spoke softly before placing his lips against her forehead for a second.

"Mmm, right back at you" she replied while closing her eyes sleepily. They flew right back open. "Ok, present time!"

She jumped up and ran to the other side of the room. Byakuya raised an eyebrow at her curiously. After a moment of rummaging through one of the many bags she had returned with yesterday, she came back over to him, now holding a small blue box in her hands. She grinned and held it out for Byakuya to take.

"You didn't have to get me anything" he told her. Kya looked shocked.

"Of course I did!" she pressed the box into his hands and sat beside him. He sighed as he looked at the box. Kya had probably been panicking about this. She shouldn't have. He didn't care if she got him anything at all. He was just glad she was here. "Oh yeah, and this isn't the actual present. It's just something Rangiku and I thought up"

This made Byakuya slightly wary. Anything Matsumoto thought up could not be good.

Slowly he opened the lid of the box and peered inside. He picked the contents up out of it and held them at arm's length. He blinked.

"What do you think?" Kya asked sounding slightly more nervous than usual.

"Wha... I... huh..." for the first time in seventy years Byakuya was stumbling with his words. This couldn't be right. It just couldn't. He stared at the object in his hands. It was a jumper. But not just any normal jumper. It was light pink, knitted, not very well he might say, and about ten times too small for any adult. It could only be described as baby sized.

"Happy?" Kya sounded really nervous now. Byakuya's head jerked around so he was staring at her. His eyes were wide and his mouth was open.

Was she? No, she couldn't be. Could she? Was she thinking about? No, Kya wouldn't. Would she?

"I... uh... it... what... err..." Byakuya stuttered again. He finally settled on a question. "How?"

"I knitted it!" she said almost proudly. That wasn't what Byakuya meant.

Wait, knitted? Kya wouldn't knit. Unless...

About five million different alarms were going off in Byakuya's head at once. Amidst them all a giant scream echoed through his skull.

"I... uh... it... what... err..." he fought the urge to stand up and run as fast as his noble legs would carry him away from there.

"Ok, ok, I know what you're thinking" Kya started. Byakuya placed a bet that if she did know what he was thinking she would more likely be crying her eyes out than sitting there calmly. "I know it's kinda small but..."

Byakuya wasn't listening. It was all too much for him to take. He had effectively zoned out. What would happen? How would he explain this to other nobles? Kya must have been mistaken. He wasn't ready to be a father. He was not good around kids. Sure, he enjoyed giving Yachiru candy when no one else was looking, but then she would always run off to Zaraki again. _He wasn't stuck with her._

"Byakuya?" Kya asked worriedly at the captain that had effectively been turned to stone in front of her. "Uh, Byakuya?"

She poked his arm. He tipped sideways. He collapsed on the floor, still frozen in the sitting position he had been in for the past ten minutes.

Kya tilted her head at this and looked at him quizzically. What was up with him?

"Byakuya?" again she asked. This time she got a response. He blinked and sat upright again. Eyes wide and fully focused on Kya. "Jeez, what is up with you? I already apologised for it shrinking in the wash"

"Shrinking... in the... wash?" Byakuya's expression didn't change as he repeated the words.

"Hey! I wonder if we put you in the washing machine until you shrank whether it would then fit!" she pondered with a finger in the air as if she had just found the cure for cancer.

Fit? Him? Then that meant...

Byakuya's sigh of relief could be heard all over town.

"Come on! Let's go see if the washing machine is big enough for you!" Kya stood up and looked at Byakuya excitedly.

"No"

Her face fell. She so wanted a tiny Byakuya that she could carry around in her pocket. Oooh! And there should be a string on his back and if you pull it he would say things like 'I am not amused with this' or 'your insolence is nothing compared to your stupidity'! That would be awesome! Little Byakuya plushie! She had to make one when she had time.

Byakuya looked at her as he always did when she did something strange. Usually it was when she had drunken a considerable amount of alcohol.

"What?" she asked him innocently. A corner of his lips twitched upwards.

"Nothing" he replied still smiling slightly.

"Anyway..." Kya began again "as for your main present, you will not believe how long it took me and Rangiku to come up with. First there was the egg painted with a smiley face idea." Kya started reading off the ideas on her fingers "Then the mince idea, in case you wanted to make Shepherd's pie. Then the naughty lingerie for me idea, which we were both quite keen on I can tell you. Then the pet frog idea, but it hopped away. Then the Ichigo's head on a spike idea, which I thought you'd like seeing the whole him and Rukia thing. Then the-"

"I get it" he interrupted her list which was not even half way through. Truth was he didn't care what she got him. As long as it wasn't what he had previously thought a minute ago. Although, the lingerie idea did not sound bad at all. Maybe Matsumoto wasn't completely insane.

"Ok" Kya said. She sat back down next to him, her face now serious. She silently opened the small locket around her neck and carefully pulled out a small shining object. She placed the object into his hand. He stared at it, amazed.

"Is this what I think it is?" he whispered clearly astounded at Kya's gift. He held the object up to the light. The small clear crystal glimmered and the light that passed through it scattered creating many tiny rainbows. The delicate silver wire that wrapped its way around the stone shone. It appeared like light was emanating from within and not from outside at all.

"Probably" Kya answered. He looked at her. A gentle honest smile was on her face. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion

"But where did you get it? There is only meant to be five in existence" he was whispering again. Kya shrugged.

"My mother gave it to me – my real one" she said as if it was nothing. It was not nothing. Byakuya shook his head.

"I can't accept this" he told her while trying to give it back to her. Kya sighed and refused to take it.

"Yes you can. I don't need it anymore" she said. Byakuya looked down at the gleaming object in his hands. The 'lumière de la fortune' glittered as if the very stars were held within. He had never seen one in real life before, just seen pictures in books. They were supposed to be enriched with magic. 'The owner of these will instantly have fortune bestowed onto them, they shall be invulnerable to harm'. That was what was said about them. Byakuya knew it was probably not completely correct. Not even the strongest force could make someone invulnerable to harm. But still, this thing he was holding seemed to give off the feeling of security and safety. It had protective qualities, that was for sure.

But that wasn't what had Byakuya so surprised about the gift. It was from Kya's mother. Her mother from before she died. Her mother that had been brutally murdered when Kya was less than five. Her mother that had perished when Kya had miraculously escaped. Kya still treasured the few memories she had of her mother. Her death had ripped Kya's world apart.

Why was she giving this to him?

"Kya, I-" he started to protest again, but Kya wouldn't let him.

"Take it. It needs a new owner, I think it's bored of me" she said. Byakuya kissed her gently.

"No one could ever get bored of you" he spoke quietly after breaking apart.

"Please, Byakuya, just take it, for me" she whispered. Her voice was shaking ever so slightly. How did she sound? Scared? But Kya didn't let things scare her, she just didn't. Byakuya peered at her questioningly. "I just... want you to be safe"

He ran his hand down her cheek softly.

"Ok"

He lifted her chin and again pressed his lips against hers, thanking her in ways that words could not.

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"Kisuke? What are you doing?"

"Oh my dear Yoruichi, I am merely checking that our guests are comfortable in our little abode!" Urahara stood up straight from leaning against the door and greeted the dark skinned woman. She obviously did not believe him.

"Really?" she asked sceptically. Urahara reached behind his back and brought forwards something to distract her.

"Oh, look! It's your present! What a surprise!" he exclaimed. He didn't even need to pass her the neatly wrapped parcel. Before he even realised she had moved the thing was in her hands. She ripped the paper off excitedly and gasped.

"Oh, Kisuke! How did you know?" Yoruichi flung her arms around him in thanks. The carton of milk fell to the floor as Urahara's own hands started to snake around her.

"Maybe I need more than a hug to see how grateful you are?" he raised an eyebrow at her flirtatiously

"Maybe you do"

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As you can probably tell, this was not the best time for the Urahara shop to receive visitors. Anyone who did misfortunately enter the little building would surely be scarred for life by what the two couples were currently busy with.

However, certain Shinigami did not know this, did they?

It was for this reason that when Matsumoto came by for Christmas gossip with Kya and just happened to drag her poor captain along, the air around the place was shortly filled with the sounds of Hitsugaya's shouts about why they couldn't put up a sign or something, as he ran away from the vulgar building.

Matsumoto ran after him.

"Oh, come on, Taicho! It's only natural!"

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**Me and ****Rhea spent ages trying to figure out what Kya could get Byakuya. I think it ended up alright. Oh, and all those things that Matsumoto and Kya came up with were actually some of our suggestions. I particularly like Ichigo's head on a spike. I think Byakuya would love that.**

**Rhea also helped with the jumper idea. She gave me the idea of knitting and I just added in the rest about Byakuya's mistake.**

**Oh yeah and 'lumiere de la fortune' is french for light of fortune. It sucks, I know, but I really couldnt think of anything. And it's french because I say it is - hollows are spanish, bount are german, and so this is french. Got a problem with that?**

**Me and Rhea have funny convos over msn. Today we had a discussion about Gin. **

_**Rf:**_** I want to cut a lock of his hair and keep it in a box  
**_**Rhea:**_** I would keep it in a locket  
**_**Rf:**_** I watch him while he sleeps  
**_**Rhea:**_** mmm... nice...  
**_**Rf**_**: o.o that's me watching him  
**_**Rhea**_**:P it should be like that  
**_**Rhea**_**: I want to eat him  
**_**Rf**_**: but then he wouldn't be able to receive all those nice letters I've written him  
**_**Rhea**_**: but I want to bite his face  
**_**Rf**_**: VULGAR!!  
**_**Rhea**_**: I AM NOT VULGAR  
**_**Rf**_**: ...I want to bite something else...  
**_**Rhea**_**: AND I'M THE VULGAR ONE?!**

**Btw, Rhea IS vulgar! You should hear some of the things she says online! ... I never say anything vulgar... at all... heh...heh...**

**Oh, and I like all cookies! It doesn't matter which!**

**Review and I'll post you an air guitar**


	51. The Girl

**This one explains stuff from the last chapter that I couldn't fit in. It has actually no comedy at all. It is pure angst, and gets fairly depressing at times. Which is odd seeing as I'm in a perfectly happy mood. Oh well...**

**Chapter 50 : The girl**

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Tetsu sat on the porch of her home, watching as the snow gently glided down from the sky. It was deep winter. And yet, the cold didn't seem to bother Tetsu in the least. The bare trees glistened where the white had touched their limbs. The ground's cover sparkled when the sun peeked through the clouds above. There was no flaw in the blanket. It was a perfect blank sheet on top of a far less perfect hider.

Tetsu knew her mother was worried about something. Every now and then she would look up from her sewing and gaze at her daughter. She seemed as if she was debating something in her mind, as soon as an answer formed it would be deleted by another argument. Tetsu wanted to ask about it, but knew her mother wouldn't tell her until she was ready. That was just how her mother was.

Tetsu ran the damp stick in her hands across the wooden floor, drawing shapes and patterns. Wherever the moisture touched there would be a faint mark on the wood. It would gradually fade until the textured surface was bare again, and Tetsu could create something new on top. She watched as her small hands began to trace the outline of a bird. It was fat and inelegant. It had lines for feet and a triangle for a beak. The simple wings jutted off at bizarre angles. Maybe when she was older she would be able to redraw the bird and make it look more realistic.

"Tetsu, would you come here for a second?" Tetsu raised her round face so she could see her mother from behind the thick fringe.

"Yes" she answered as she stood up and scurried across the porch to where her mother sat on a tree stump that they used as a stool. She stood in front of her mother and smiled. The young woman returned the gesture. Tetsu thought her mother was beautiful. The dark hair tied into a bun behind her head hid the silky waves from sight. The soft features on her face were not masked behind any of the pastes she had seen other women using in the village. The slender figure was concealed in the plain kimono. And yet she still looked beautiful. Tetsu hoped that perhaps one day she too would be that beautiful.

"I want to give you something" her mother spoke in that beloved caring voice she had. She placed the sewing on the ground beside her. Tetsu's eyes widened.

"Like a present?" she asked excitedly. She didn't get presents often. They just weren't common in a village like this. Money wasn't used often, dealings were done on the basis of trade, and so not much money existed to buy presents with.

"Sort of" her mother reached up and undid the clasp of the locket around her neck. She held it in her hand in front of her. Tetsu looked at it. She had seen it many times in her short life and couldn't remember a time when her mother wasn't wearing it. The silver oval reflected the light and a patch of luminosity darted across the wall as her mother shifted it slightly in her hold. It was the only jewellery her mother ever wore. It was probably the only jewellery in the house.

"Your father gave this to me before you were born" she said while her eyes settled on the shiny object, "He wanted it to belong to you. He told me that when I thought you were old enough to look after it, I should pass it onto you"

"What is it?" Tetsu asked quietly. Her mother opened the locket and allowed Tetsu to see the contents clearly. Tetsu gasped. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. It was as if starlight itself had been condensed and placed inside the stone. Something like that shouldn't be real. Tetsu wondered if she was dreaming, for surely things like this only existed in dreams, not reality.

"It's like a good luck charm. It's very precious." Her mother told her. Tetsu remained staring open mouthed at the glowing crystal. "Actually, it's priceless"

"Isn't priceless bad?" Tetsu asked, knocked out of her thoughts by her mother's words. Her mother laughed slightly at this.

"No, hunny, priceless means that it is so valuable that a price cannot be put on it"

"Oh" was all Tetsu could say to this. What was her mother doing with something so valuable? They were simple people. They didn't own fancy items or precious stones. And yet she had this. "Wait, are you giving this to me?"

Her mother nodded in reply. Tetsu looked shocked.

"No, but I can't. What if I loose it? Or break it? If it's priceless then that would be bad, and I don't want to do something bad. I'm not old enough to look after it" she rambled on. Her mother looked at her carefully.

"The fact that you're so worried about it tells me you're ready" she said. Her daughter shook her head. She shut the locket and sealed the fantastic thing inside. She looked at Tetsu, genuine concern in her eyes. "Please, take it, for me. I just... want you to be safe"

Tetsu swallowed. Her mother really wanted her to have this strange thing. But she was only little. Surely she would loose it. And what then? She looked into her mother's eyes and recognised the silent pleading they were putting forth.

Slowly, she nodded.

"Good" he mother spoke. She took the locket by the chain and held it in front of Tetsu's face. Tetsu lifted her hair up off her neck and let her mother lace the silver chain around it. When the clasp was secure, she placed her hands on her lap again and smiled at Tetsu. Tetsu smiled back to comfort her mother, but inside she was nervous. Tetsu's mother became serious again. "Never take it off. Keep it on at all times. It'll keep you safe."

"Yes" Tetsu replied quietly. A broad grin spread across her mother's pretty face and Tetsu looked confused.

"And then, one day, maybe you'll find someone who you think is precious enough to you that you'll want to keep safe, and then you can pass it on to them, just like your father did to you" she told Tetsu.

"Yes" Tetsu said now a bit happier. Her mother picked her up around the waist and lifted her onto her lap. Tetsu sat there and looked at the snow that continued to fall. The warmth from her mother made her feel completely safe. She didn't need this charm, as long as her mother was there everything would be fine.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a month later when things changed.

Tetsu noticed that her mother had been acting strangely for some time. Whenever someone came to the door, she would jump. Whenever they went into the village, she would constantly be looking around her in caution. Even in their own garden, she would be on guard. It was as if she expected someone to pop out of nowhere and attack them. It was more than a little unnerving for Tetsu.

Then, one dark winter evening, it happened.

Tetsu was helping her mother prepare the simple evening meal. Her mother had a pot of broth simmering over the fireplace. Tetsu was cutting up vegetables that would be added to it later. While she cut she chatted away to her mother. Her mother would nod or laugh at the stories coming from her small child, remembering when she was at that age. The girl certainly did see the world strangely. The points she came up with were bizarre.

"I had a dream last night. It was in another world and people went around wearing black robes and fighting with each other. There was this girl who could make fire come from her hands and direct it at her opponents. And another one that could tie them in an invisible rope. And ano-"

Tetsu's story was cut short by a knocking at the door. As was usual with her mother these days, she jumped and dropped the bag of rice on the floor. It spilt and tiny white drops coated the wooden floor.

"Mother?" Tetsu asked worried.

Her mother just walked to the small hole in the wall that they had been meaning to fill and looked through it to see who was at the door. She gasped. She spun around on the spot and stared panic-stricken at her daughter.

"Tetsu! Quick, get in the storeroom!" She whispered ferociously. Tetsu peered at her, not understanding what her mother was saying. She ran to her daughter and picked her up. She brought her over to the small storeroom that could barely hold the little food they had. She placed her inside and was about to shut the door.

"Moth-"

"Tetsu! Listen to me! This is serious. Don't move. Don't speak. And don't, no matter what you hear, leave the cupboard." She hissed. Tetsu's eyes were wide. She had never seen her mother so scared before. It was terrifying. Before she could ask any questions, her mother slid the door close and shut Tetsu inside. Alone. In the dark.

She sat down and huddled into the corner of the cupboard. She heard scuffling coming from inside the house. Her mother was speaking to someone. They were male.

"You can't! I told you to leave!" at her mother's words Tetsu shivered. What couldn't the man do? Why would her mother tell him to leave?

More shuffling could be heard. The door to the house slammed loudly and the noise echoed through Tetsu's skull. Her mother was shouting. So was the man. She tried to block out the noise. She wanted to run out of the cupboard and see what was happening. See what was hurting her mother so much. But her mother's words resounded in her memory. She was told not to leave, not to speak, not to move. She couldn't disobey her mother's orders when they were so resolute.

There was a crash.

Tetsu lifted her head from being buried in her knees. Her eyes widened as she heard it. Her mother's scream bounced off the walls and reverberated in her mind. What was happening? Why was this happening? Was her mother alright? The screaming wouldn't stop. Tetsu hid her face back into her knees, trying desperately to think of something else. Anything, just anything, to distract her from the terrible din that came from the room next to her. Tears were streaming down her young face. She couldn't hold them back. Who was his man and what was he doing to her mother to make her scream like that? Throughout it all, she huddled there, in silence. The dark eating away at her eyes, making the sounds even louder.

The screaming stopped.

Tetsu didn't even notice. She continued to silently sob were she was. In her mind the screaming still resounded. In her mind she could still imagine her mother's face contorted with pain.

Footsteps.

They gradually got closer to where Tetsu was hiding. And yet, she didn't notice.

The door to the storeroom moved slightly under the touch of someone.

Whoever it was stood outside, hand on the frame, about to fling it open. They were about to discover the small girl crying in the corner of the dark closet. The door shook again.

And then it stopped.

The footsteps moved further away until they could no longer be heard by anyone who cared to listen. The door of the house opened and closed.

Tetsu stayed there. She didn't move, didn't speak, didn't leave. Just like her mother had told her to. Her kimono was soaked with salty liquid that had poured from her eyes. Her mind couldn't contemplate what was happening. All she knew was the deafening sound of her mother's screams. All she saw was the palms of her hands. Red now leaked from them where she had clenched her fists unknowingly. She didn't care. It didn't matter. All that mattered was staying here, where her mother had told her to.

---------------------------------------------------------------

It was three days until someone else finally arrived at the house. Tetsu's mother hadn't shown up for work in the fields like she should have, she hadn't even sent her daughter to tell them she was unwell, and they were sent to investigate the reason for the absence. When they came to the small home they got no reply. They had opened the door carefully only to scream at the sight before them.

Soon others arrived. The daughter was missing. They searched the house for any trace of the girl. Finally, they opened the door to the small storeroom and peered inside.

There was the girl – crouched over her knees, face hidden from view, dried blood coating her small hands. They had taken her out of there, inspected her for injuries and tried to feed her. The girl was too weak to complain about it being against her mother's orders.

She didn't return to that house again.

A few days later she had stood at the edge of the village with others surrounding her. Her uncle held onto her hand as he silently wept.

The girl didn't shed any tears.

Smoke rose into the air as the casket burned. The girl watched the red and orange flames rise into the air and engulf the box.

They never caught him, the one who did it. He lived out the rest of his life in freedom. The girl hoped that at least in his heart guilt acted as a prison. She doubted it.

The girl lived for another thirteen years after that, until her luck at last ran out and a forest fire consumed her body.

She searched for her mother in Soul Society, but after two hundred years, gave up. Wherever she was, the girl obviously wasn't supposed to meet with her again. Maybe one day she would, but looking for her wasn't the way to do it. She would have to wait.

That night the mother was murdered, and Tetsu's hope died with her.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Kya sat on the porch of another's home, watching as the snow gently glided down from the sky. It was deep winter. And yet, the cold didn't seem to bother Kya in the least. The bare trees glistened where the white had touched their limbs. The ground's cover sparkled when the sun peeked through the clouds above. There was no flaw in the blanket. It was a perfect blank sheet on top of a far less perfect hider.

Kya sighed.

She was glad Byakuya had accepted the charm that, she still believed to this day, had saved her all those years ago. What would she have done if he hadn't? The lumiére de la fortune had enough spirit energy that it almost behaved as an individual soul in itself. It chose who to protect and who not to protect. Once offered to someone else, it would not protect the giver any longer. Kya knew this. That was why she needed Byakuya to accept it. If he hadn't she may have been forced to simply throw it away or place it somewhere where someone may one day pick it up and it would decide to keep them safe.

But mainly, she just wanted him to be safe. She could handle herself. She had learnt over the many years of her afterlife how to defend herself and was probably the most talented combat fighter in Seireitei. But Byakuya, despite his undeniable skill and strength, was still just a captain. There were those out there that could hurt him. Kya couldn't think about that. It was too much to bear.

A finger suddenly touched her shoulder and ran down her bare arm. Kya didn't blink.

"Aren't you cold?" Byakuya asked her concerned. She looked at him and smiled warmly.

"No, I've got all the warmth I need right here" she replied. She moved closer to him and he wrapped his arms around her shoulders. She closed her eyes and rested her head against his chest, finding calm in the rhythmic motion of his breathing.

The girl sighed.

"Thank you"

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**Eeee!! Just some background info for you there, although it is rather late on in the story.**

**See? There was absolutely no way I could have fitted that in the last chap, it would have almost tripled the length. And I was gonna include other things in the last chap, I aim too high.**

**I've got a teacher training day tomorrow so no school! Whoopee! Rhea's coming over and we're just gonna muck about. Then I've got sixth form open evening at my school in the evening. I dunno if I'll get one out tomorrow. But when the next one comes out I promise it will have Christmas comedy in it. I've kinda been putting it off a bit.**

**Review PLEASE? I'll cry otherwise! Wahhh! **

**See? That's me crying coz you didn't review! Feel ashamed of yourself!**


	52. Safe Sex Saves Lives

**This one was co-written by Glockenspiel Rhea. She is so jokes and has such great ideas. Usually better than my own.**

**Chapter 51 :**** Safe sex saves lives**

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There were many buildings in Karakura Town, but one in particular drew the attention of tourists. The town's only museum was prized for its representations of Japanese history, and recently the visual displays had attracted a lot of visitors. This Christmas a special exhibit was organised to reveal a restored collection of paintings from the Pope's personal collection of Christmas images. For this the entire museum was specially opened on Christmas Day.

Noriyasu Takeshi had always thought of himself as an extremely learned and knowledgeable scholar. That is, until he was stationed as a guide to the Japanese History Section of the museum.

At first it was only minor things – an odd coloured sash here, an odd hair colour there – but then it got plain weird.

A young boy, no more than the age of seven, was first to point out some of these things.

"Hey, listen" Takeshi looked at the boy tugging at his blazer, "why is that woman wearing a miniskirt?"

"Err... they were very popular at the time"

"Hey, listen" Takeshi again looked at the boy, "what's on that man's funny face?"

"Err... it's a traditional Noh mask"

"Hey, listen" Takeshi glared at the child "why is that a Chinese sword?"

"Err... because Japan and China were good friends"

"Hey, listen, why is that man wearing sunglasses?"

"Err... Ray-ban is a very old company"

"Hey, listen, why has he got a basket on his head?"

"Err... it was a traditional... armour"

"Hey, listen, why is that woman about to hit the man with a book?"

"Err... because that's what traditional wedding ceremonies involved"

"Hey, listen, why has that man got tattoos on his face?"

"Err... it was camouflage... against the lions"

"Hey, listen, why is that man putting guyliner on?"

Noriyasu Takeshi was out of ideas. There was no reason that he could think of why a Japanese man from the Edo period would ever need to put eyeliner on, especially Rimmel London eyeliner.

"Ok everyone! I'm afraid time has run out! Please proceed to the Pope's personal Christmas collection now!"

Everyone left the room. Takeshi was saved from admitting he didn't know everything. The lights were turned out. The door closed behind him.

Kira could not hold back the crying anymore. Didn't anyone understand the delicate feelings of guyliner? He whimpered and ran into the corner where Momo was already sobbing.

"Did you hear what he said? Did you? Did you? He said it was a marriage ceremony! A marriage ceremony, my little Nanao! Now you are my wife!" Shunsui grabbed hold of Nanao's sleeve and started shouting about how much of a good husband he would be.

Nanao's glasses glinted angrily.

"He was lying" she said before swatting him away with the book.

"Traditional Noh Mask?!" Mayuri screeched at the top of his lungs, deeply insulted by the guide's words. "Traditional Noh Mask, my arse! My mask is so much more than a simple theatre prop! How dare he insult me like that?! I will gas him and his entire family for uttering such despicable things about me!"

Nemu wasn't listening but instead was far too busy looking at her skirt.

"Is my skirt that old-fashioned?" she asked quietly. Mayuri stopped his ramblings and sighed.

"No, it looks good"

Komamura turned to his lieutenant.

"I would like you to know that it is not a basket"

Iba just looked confused

"Who's Ray-ban?"

"I'll bet you all my hair products that that man was just saying the first thing that came into his mind. I mean, how could my smexy tattoos be mistaken for lion camouflage? Japan doesn't even have lions!" Hisagi mumbled to himself, while others continued to yell behind him.

Joshiro sighed, lifting the cup of tea in his hands to his lips.

"It is a shame they entered the room at that particular time, don't you agree Unohana?" he asked the fourth division captain opposite him.

"Why yes. I think it was Kira's appreciation of the eye makeup that really almost gave us away" she replied putting the cup of tea on the table.

Kira looked up through tear soaked eyes and glared at Unohana.

"Doesn't anyone understand the pain I'm in?" he cried at them all

"No" everyone replied at the same time. He went back to sulking in the corner like a good little emo boy.

Soifon looked at them all with disdain.

"Why am I stuck with these Japanese amateurs?"

-----------------------------------------------------------

Ichigo needed the loo.

He had done for the past fifty hours.

But he couldn't stop running.

If he did then the hulking mass of macho behind him would surely rip his head in half.

Rukia was getting a bit tired of the constant screaming. It was Christmas Day for goodness sake! They hadn't stopped running for almost three days now. It was slightly ridiculous.

Renji didn't care. As long as the super drama marathon was on television nothing else mattered.

Rukia decided enough was enough.

Grabbing the flamethrower that Isshin kept in the garden shed, she stood in Ichigo's path.

"Heads up!" Rukia shouted at him. Ichigo's reactions weren't that good.

Soon he was running around the kitchen, orange hair burning brightly, and screaming obscenities at Rukia.

The hulking mass of macho stopped.

He pointed.

He laughed.

Yachiru burst into the kitchen wielding a large bucket.

"Help! I'm on bloody fire!" Ichigo yelled desperately.

"I'll help!" Yachiru cried dramatically. She jumped into the air and held the bucket up. Before tipping the bucket she dug into her robes and pulled out a skewer with one marshmallow on the end. She tried to heat it over the warm flames emanating from Ichigo's head. "Stand still, Strawberry-man!"

Ichigo just screamed louder and darted about.

Rukia grabbed the bucket from Yachiru and threw the contents over a panicking Ichigo.

Cat litter rained down on him. He stood still. The fire couldn't take the smell of the obviously used cat litter and left, taking Ichigo's hair with it.

Kya applauded.

"Bravo! Good show my fellows!" she exclaimed. She nudged Byakuya. "Wasn't that a fine performance, Byakuya?"

Byakuya sat there and sipped his tea in silence.

The group settled around the Christmas tree. The only one not present was Ichigo who had gone up to have a shower. Nobody likes someone after they had been showered with used cat litter.

"Here you are Ken-chan! I got you a present!" Yachiru squealed as she bounced up to the hulking mass of macho. Zaraki took the mess of paper she presented him with. He touched it and the paper fell away. Inside was the best present he could have asked for. The others peered at it questioningly.

"What is it?" Rukia asked curiously. Kya read the label.

"It appears to be prime beef from the Grampian Mountains in Scotland." She answered. Yachiru jumped up.

"Ken-chan is a manly man and eats raw meat to prove his manliness!" she cried. Byakuya nodded knowingly.

It was at this point when Ichigo came down the stairs, wearing a blue woolly hat with a pom-pom on the top. No one had to see what he now looked like after joining the Ikkaku club of hairless wonders.

"Iiichiiigooo!!" Isshin jumped towards his son and stopped just before reaching him. He waved a box in front of Ichigo's face. "I got you a present!"

Ichigo looked at the box. He touched it while reading what the contents were. He suddenly grabbed it and threw it as far away from him as he could.

"What the hell were those for?" he shouted at his father

"Well, I thought even you would know that at your age" Isshin answered with a shrug.

Byakuya peered at the box that had landed in front of him. He blinked. In an instant he was at Ichigo's side, hand around his neck. Ichigo's eyes widened.

"Why are you angry at me? It was him who got me them!" he pointed at Isshin, who was whistling as he stepped away inconspicuously.

"I do not need to explain myself to you" he said calmly.

Kya picked up the box.

"Hey, Byakuya, it's not that bad is it? I mean, safe sex does save lives"

Byakuya's head rotated mechanically. His eyes settled on Kya. She was still reading the label on the box of condoms and looked thoroughly interested by it.

Rukia sat oblivious to what they were talking about.

"Oh, lighten up, Byakuya, it's Christmas!" Isshin put his arm around the noble's shoulders and grinned at him. Byakuya swatted him away and returned to his place next to Kya, eyeing Ichigo dangerously as he did so. Ichigo joined Rukia by the tree. Kya passed the condoms back to him.

"You never know, eh, Ichigo, matey, might get lucky" she said while nudging his arm and winking.

Byakuya made a mental note never to leave Ichigo alone with Rukia.

Yuzu sensed the tension from where she was in the kitchen and entered the living room to interrupt.

"Um... dinner's ready"

Isshin, Yachiru and Kya all jumped up excitedly. Ichigo, Zaraki and Byakuya behaved in a much more civilised manner and stood calmly before making their way to the kitchen.

"Uh, Abarai-san? Are you coming for dinner?" Yuzu asked the red haired man who was lying on the couch.

"No" he answered with his eyes still glued to the television screen. This was getting juicy. No one was going to disturb him until he found out why Yuki had been so mean to Ai.

"Oh, ok then" Yuzu left. Renji stared in silence at the moving images.

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"Rukiaaa!" Kon jumped up and tried to get a special Christmas hug from the girl. Rukia squashed this idea as well as his head while stepping on his squirming toy body. When she finally moved her foot he stood up and started to wail. "Wahh! No one loves me! I'm all alone!"

"Aww! You poor little thing!" Kya squealed as she bent down and picked the stuffed animal up off the floor. Kon sniffed dramatically.

"They're so mean to me! I never even get a hug!" he cried.

"That's terrible!" Kya exclaimed. She shot glares at Ichigo and Rukia. They just blinked. Kya clutched the lion to her body and squeezed it in a hug. "You are such a cute little squishy! I shall give you a hug and all will be well again!"

Kon sighed dreamily, revelling in the hug this unknown lady was giving him. It didn't matter who she was. He was far too preoccupied with where she was holding him to to worry about that.

Kya rocked him from side to side.

"Squishy! Squishy! Squishy!" she cried happily at finding such an adorable little squishy.

Then her arms were empty.

She looked at the floor.

Kon lay there.

His head was detached from his body.

Byakuya stood next to him eyeing him carefully.

"Byakuya! Why did you hurt squishy?"

He looked at Kya.

"He appeared to be taking far more pleasure from that hug than was necessary" he answered plainly. Kya looked at the yellow stuffed animal. The body was standing up and trying to search for the now still head.

"Pig" she mumbled before copying Rukia's actions and stepping on the body. It squirmed and then fell silent. A green pill rolled across the floor. Ichigo picked it up and placed it in the kitchen drawer.

"Is it time to eat yet?" Yachiru squealed while pulling on Zaraki's sleeve. He grumbled in reply.

Everyone sat down. The meal was awkward. Byakuya was angry at Ichigo for doing who knew what with his sister. Isshin was angry at Ichigo for not getting him a present. Yachiru was angry at Ichigo for not fighting Ken-chan. Rukia was angry at Ichigo for insulting her precious Chappy. Zaraki was angry at Ichigo for no reason at all. Kya was shouting out random comments at every possible moment. Yuzu and Karin sat there silently, not knowing what to say.

Ichigo gulped.

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**Hahahaha!**

**Rhea and I had so much fun writing this! Although it took about five times longer than it would have if she wasn't there!**** We kept stopping every minute or so and just burst out laughing for no reason at all. Or we got distracted by something else and rambled on for a bit.**

**Oh yeah, when reading the 'Hey, listen' bit just think of Zelda. That goddamn annoying fairy interrupting you when you're bloody playing... Rhea and me made a thing out of saying it over and over just like the goddamn fairy. She also said this which sent me into hysterics:**

**_Rhea_: Hey, listen! Press A to make Zelda do a poo**

**I can't remember anything else we said in particular, but there was a lot of funny crap. Maybe Rhea will tell me later and I'll be able to include it then.**

**I had my school's sixth form open evening tonight. It was weird. I just went around to subjects that I could study next year and talked to teachers and stuff. RS was presented really well actually and sounds cool coz it covers philosophy of religion and ethics, which is fun. Art was good too, but mainly coz I like my teacher so could talk to her. I'm not sure about EngLit anymore, its all victorian novels which I dont really like, so I dunno. I'll do chemistry coz I need a balance against arty stuff. Maybe psychology, maybe sociology, I dunno. I need to think.**

**I've already posted air guitars, expect to receive them in air wrapping paper in three to six weeks.**

**Toodles**


	53. A Holy Gathering

**Aww! My brother came back from uni for a night on Thursday and gave me my birthday pressie. It was so awesome! He got me a stuffed teddy bear from the bear factory (the scariest place he had ever been apparently), book 1 of Ororon manga, a tiny doll of Jigsaw's weird clown puppet from Saw that looks like a Voodoo doll or something & DVDs of 28 Days Later and Attack of the Killer Tomatoes! That is an awesome film, it's an old seventies B movie for those of you who don't know and it's hilarious. Now I have to get him awesome stuff for his birthday that's coming up! I don't know! Wahh! I am terrible at getting people presents!**

**Chapter 52 :**** A holy gathering**

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"Wow, that took a long time, never thought that decorating could require so much energy"

Byakuya turned his head to the woman standing in the doorway. Kya rubbed the back of her neck as she walked into the room. Byakuya's eyes scanned her briefly. His eyebrows rose slightly at the sight.

"What?" Kya asked him in response to the look he was giving her. He stood and before Kya had time to blink he was behind her. His arms wrapped around her waist and he brought his mouth to her ear.

"Beautiful" was all he whispered. Kya shivered at the vibrations of his voice in her ear. He reached up and started playing with a strand of her hair while kissing her softly on the neck. She moaned quickly.

"We'll be late" she forced herself to tell him. He didn't stop. "...Byakuya..."

She turned around to face him, meaning he had to give up on dulling the senses connected to her neck. He gazed at her.

"I need to do my hair" she said obviously struggling to overcome temptation. She turned and went to the small mirror in the room. Byakuya watched as she started pulling strands of long purple hair up off her back and arranging them on her head. The more hair she moved the more soft skin she revealed underneath the backless dress. As her hands twisted and manoeuvred the waves behind her head the muscles connected to her spine shifted and flowed effortlessly. Byakuya stared in wonder at the pale supple skin, wanting to reach out and stroke it. A small scar could be seen at the base of her spine that she received from a mission that went too far about a hundred years prior. Apart from that it was flawless. The deep red silk of the dress didn't look half as sleek as that skin.

She placed the last pin in her hair and turned around to face him again.

The purple was restrained in a rough bun at the back of her skull. Loose strands came down at the front and framed her face. A touch of gold glimmered on her eyelids and her long dark eyelashes emphasized her deep blue eyes perfectly. The dress itself was beautiful, although in Byakuya's eyes it could never compare to her. The fully pleated bodice came down from a deep V-front, straps going over the shoulder and joining with the bodice once again. The plain skirt flowed like liquid from the waist until it hit the floor with a small train at the back. The material reflected the light and ran as if it were fluid. Red suited her. Like autumn leaves or a summer flower.

Kya stood in front of him.

"Where's your tie?" she asked, knocking him out of his thoughts. He narrowed his eyes.

"I do not know" Kya spotted the lie before it even came out of his mouth. She raised an eyebrow at him sceptically.

"Then what's that?" she smiled while nodding her head in the direction of a crumple of shredded fabric on the floor. His expression didn't change. It wasn't his fault if he had a bit of trouble with tying ties. They were idiotic accessories in the first place. Kya laughed. "Thought this might happen, which is why I got this"

She went to the bags of clothes she had purchased yesterday and pulled out a small box. She opened it and brought the contents back to where Byakuya was standing. He only grumbled while she placed the new, unshredded, tie around his neck and started looping the skinny black thing up. Why did he even have to wear a tie? Or a suit for that matter? They were uncomfortable and too restricting in comparison to his usual uniform. Byakuya realised he was behaving like a child and stopped complaining, even if it was only in his thoughts.

"There, now you look like a proper gent" she told him after completing her mission of doing up the tie and resting her hands against his shirt. He wrapped his arms around her neck. Her hands went up to where she felt a cold weight settle. She looked down at the object. "What's this?"

He finished securing the clasp and lowered his arms.

"Your Christmas present" he told her. She touched the pendant affectionately and turned it over in her hands. The gold chain shone in the soft light. When she twirled it around in her hold, the small red stone sparkled and showed deeper shades of orange and purple. The facetted teardrop shape was ideal for letting the light pass through. Red suited her.

"This stone..." she whispered in awe.

"It was an ancient Kuchiki heirloom. I had it cut and made into a necklace for you" She looked up surprised. An ancient Kuchiki heirloom? And he had it cut? The only way of doing that must have been to break some kind of unwritten law. No way could he have done this otherwise. The Kuchiki family were not known for their generosity in giving away priceless heirlooms. But Byakuya didn't break laws. To him they were serious matters.

"But-" Kya didn't know what to say. Byakuya gazed at her with warming eyes. Kya could see the fiery light bouncing off the gem being reflected in those eyes. She reached upwards and brought her lips up to meet his. He returned the kiss lovingly. When they broke apart she rested her forehead against his and whispered with her eyes still shut. "Thank you"

----------------------------------------------------

Hitsugaya stood outside the place written of the invitation. He blinked. This couldn't be right, could it? Even Kya wasn't that stupid.

"Matsumoto, are you sure this is correct?" he asked his lieutenant.

"Yep, Taicho, Kya and I were here earlier to decorate" she answered happily.

Hitsugaya sighed. After waiting three whole hours for his lieutenant to change and do all the apparently necessary girly things she needed to do, they had left Orihime's apartment in search of this ball. To his surprise, Kya had invited Orihime too, something he put down to Matsumoto. Now the three of them were here. And Matsumoto seemed to be the only one who wasn't surprised by their location.

Why would Kya choose this of all places to hold something like this? How did she even manage to get the people in charge to allow her to hold something like this here? Hitsugaya had a suspicion that they did not even know about it.

"Oooh! There's Kira! Come on let's get inside!" Matsumoto pointed at her friend before rushing off towards him. Orihime nervously followed and Hitsugaya reluctantly walked up to the door.

How much of an insult was this to Christianity? Kya should think a bit more before acting.

----------------------------------------------------

The inside of the church was beautiful. Well, they usually are on Christmas Day, aren't they? But this one was even more so thanks to the painful hours Kya and Matsumoto spent decorating it. The plastic chairs had all been pushed to the back of the room and stacked, meaning the wooden floor was bare. Fairy lights hung along the walls and twinkled in a way that was mesmerizing to all that cared to stare at them. The large arched windows were covered at frost at the bottom and clear at the top, giving a view of the perfectly clear starry sky above. Long sheets of white material were draped across the high ceiling and let to hang free down the walls until they touched the floor. Where an altar should have been placed stood a tall Christmas tree, the top branch grazing the ceiling. It was decorated in the same white fairy lights that covered the walls and seemed to have fresh snow resting on all the branches. Paper lanterns were dotted throughout the room, swaying on long strings from the ceiling. They gave off a soft glow that was the room's main source of light.

It had taken Kya a considerable amount of time to persuade the father at this church to give her permission to use it tonight. In the end she had to tell him it was for a special family service, because her family's private church had burnt down in the night and they had no where else to go to celebrate the birth of little baby Jesus.

Ok, lying to holy men may not have been the most pure thing Kya could have done, but what else was she to do? Besides, she was already dead and living her afterlife. Whether there was anything else after that she did not know, and frankly didn't want to think about.

She stood on the side of the doorway, welcoming the people that chose to enter. Byakuya stood next to her, not saying a word. He was obviously still not the most social person in the world.

"Kya!" Matsumoto ran through the door excitedly, her gold dress billowing behind her.

"Rangiku!" Kya in turn greeted. The women embraced while jumping on the spot. They stopped and Matsumoto looked around the half filled room.

"It looks great! We did such a great job!" she exclaimed at the sight.

"We did, didn't we?" Kya noticed the person who stepped in after Matsumoto. Orihime stood and twiddled her fingers together, looking completely terrified at the prospect of an evening with mostly strangers. The deep green of her dress struggled to contain those ample assets of hers and the top section of her hair was pulled neatly back. Matsumoto had obviously helped her get ready. "Orihime, good to see you again!"

"Oh, you too, Kya-san. Good evening, Kuchiki-sama" Orihime quickly replied. She bowed slightly. She suddenly stood upright again when those balloons almost fell out of her dress. Byakuya just nodded a greeting.

"Shiro-chan!" Kya screamed when Hitsugaya stepped into the church.

"Don't talk to me" he said before stomping off to the other side of the room to talk to someone who had kept at least a bit of their sanity intact.

Kya pouted at the rejection.

"Excuse me, Kya-san," Kya looked back at Orihime who had been peering around the room as if searching for somebody. "has Kurosaki-kun arrived yet?"

Kya looked around also.

"Hmm... I'm not sure..."

----------------------------------------------------

"I'm not leaving!"

"Renji! Get your fat ass off the couch now!" Ichigo screamed at Renji while tugging at his foot. Renji was holding onto the arm of the sofa with both hands and Ichigo and Rukia were pulling his legs in an attempt to get him to let go. He refused to budge.

"I can't go now!" he whined as he gripped on to the couch for his life.

"Why the bloody hell not?" Rukia shouted

"Because Ai's about to tell Taiku she loves him!" He answered with his eyes still firmly glued to the drama on the television. Zaraki stepped into the room. Ichigo let go of Renji in a reflex that he kept in case he was about to be attacked in his own home by an eye-patched madman wielding a sword. Renji flew into the wall on the other side of the room, Rukia still clinging to his ankle.

"Ichigo, you idiot!" she yelled at the orange haired youth that was watching Zaraki carefully.

Zaraki walked over to the television, drew his zanpaktou, and stabbed it right into the centre of the screen.

Renji jumped up.

"Noooooooo!" he leapt over to the now smoking television set and wrapped his tattooed arms around it. "Ai! Now I shall never know your pain!"

"We're gonna be late" Zaraki said plainly, ignoring a Renji who was now wailing about the misfortunes of teenage life.

Yachiru jumped up from behind the television and stood on top.

"Come on, Pineapple-head, Ken-chan wants to go!"

Renji shook his head feebly with tears still leaking out of his eyes.

"Do you want Kya to cut off all your fingers?" Rukia shouted at him. Slowly he shook his head to indicate that he didn't. "Then we have to go!"

Renji sniffed before weakly getting to his feet.

"Ok, I s'pose I'll go" he whispered in defeat.

"Now get changed!" Rukia threw a suit at him. He caught it and slowly made his way towards the door to find somewhere to change. He shuffled his feet and remained looking at the ground. Then he realised something.

He spun around to face Yachiru, now looking fully alert.

"Who are you calling Pineapple-head?!"

----------------------------------------------------

"I suppose they must be running late, none of the people at the Kurosaki house are here yet" Kya told Orihime. She looked slightly disappointed at this.

"Oh" was all she said quietly

"Hey! Isn't that Ishida? Why don't you go talk to him?" Matsumoto pointed at the glasses-wearing boy standing in the corner, trying to distract Orihime from her misery.

"Oh, ok" Orihime said sounding a bit happier that someone else that she could talk to was here. "Have a good night, Kya-san and Kuchiki-sama"

And with that she was off, walking across the room to where Ishida was. She tripped half way across the floor and her breasts almost flopped out again. Kya and Matsumoto both winced. Orihime recovered and looked around nervously to see if anyone had noticed before completing her journey.

"Good work, Rangiku" Kya told her friend

"Oh, it was you that invited him in the first place" she said modestly

"Only because you suggested it" Kya pointed out

"I'm a genius aren't I?"

Kya watched the orange-haired girl talk nervously to the feminine looking boy with interest in her eyes

"Yes, yes you are"

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**There you are, another instalment of this boredom-preventer. **

**At school this week my friend Heta said something funny. My main group of friends is made up of Asian people, mostly Indian or Chinese, so she walks in and announces "All right, Asian peeps!" pause "...and rose..." and then everyone looked at me oddly. It was funny.**

**Well then, I better do some of my art cwk. **

**Review or I send your favourite pet into the world of my thoughts... and believe me, no one wants to enter there, it's a scary place... even for me...**


	54. Gossip

**Me and my friends were talking at lunch. It was pretty jks.**

**-random talk about stuff-  
****Heta: Imagine a panda with glasses! –bursts into laughter-  
****-everyone tries not to laugh as that would only encourage her-  
****Cafie: -after minute of silence- panda's heads are too big...  
****-uproarious laughter from everyone-  
****-Heta sits sulking-**

**This is dedicated to Rhea, coz she is ill so needs cheering up. GET BETTER SOON M'LADY!**

**Chapter 53 : Gossip**

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Ducks are very special animals.

For one, they quack.

For another they live on narrow boats with Rosie and Jim.

But more importantly, they can be kept in a building on straw for four weeks, then outside for some weeks feeding on grass, brought inside for gradually longer periods of time while introduced to a high starch diet, and then specially force fed up by gavage for twelve to fifteen days before being slaughtered and having their liver ripped out. This in turn creates quite a lovely appetiser. Foie gras, after all, is a delicacy. And nothing can compare to the taste of freshly pasted duck liver.

However, someone's liver that nobody would like to even touch was that of a certain lieutenant. Never mind the fact that eating Iba's liver would be classified as cannibalistic, something much more deterring than that was how god damn on the way to liver failure it must have been. Frankly, it was a wonder he was still alive, albeit in his afterlife, with the amount of cirrhosis that must have built up over all the years.

Drinking does the most wonderful things to your body, doesn't it?

It was for this reason that when Iba showed up to the party already stone drunk, no one even batted one pretty little eyelid. They were all used to his drunken ways, perhaps even more so than Matsumoto's. Besides, it wasn't as if he knocked over _many_ people on the way inside. Nor were the drinking songs he was singing _that_ rude.

If he drank any more he would probably just pass out anyway.

So Kya left him to his own devices.

She did not however, leave someone else alone.

Mayuri didn't like showing his face. It didn't matter how many times anyone told him he was perfectly handsome, it just wasn't natural. To him, wearing a mask was so much more natural than walking around without one. He really didn't understand why no one else did it.

Kya, on the other hand, did not understand why Mayuri did it.

Because of this, when a suit wearing beefy man with a paper bag for a head entered the church, Kya was not impressed.

"Mayuri you idiot! Take that thing off right now!" she screamed, interrupting her conversation with a basket-free Komamura to rush over to him. Mayuri had been trying to sneak in without being noticed. He had only just gotten past the drinks table when Kya had spotted him. Why did he have to be so muscular? If he was short like Hitsugaya he would have been able to sneak in.

Kya stomped towards him and slapped him right across the paper bag.

"What was that for?!" he screeched back at her.

"For this!" She shouted before pulling off the bag from Mayuri's head. Now, people were already watching this scene because of the noise these two were making, but with Mayuri's paper bag gone none even dared to speak.

"'Drink up!' he said, 'I'll take you to bed!', and that was the end of the deal! We never did wed, but both of us fed, coz my boobies are made out of steel!" the shock people were experiencing meant they didn't turn their heads as they usually would have at Iba's sudden burst of song.

They were too preoccupied staring at Mayuri.

Mayuri didn't like it.

He reached for the nearest object, which happened to be a punch bowl, poured the contents out onto the floor, and quickly shoved it on top of his head.

Anything was better than them _seeing _him.

Again, Kya was not impressed.

She brought her fist down onto the glass bowl. It shattered. Mayuri remained unharmed underneath, but he did look a bit nervous.

This wasn't how it was meant to go!

People remained staring. Finally, Yachiru decided it would be safe to shout again.

"Look! Clown-face hasn't got a clown-face at all!" she pointed and looked at others while grinning. She didn't get a reply.

Mayuri narrowed his eyes to make him seem at least a bit more threatening. It only succeeded in making it look like he needed glasses.

"Sorry we're late, what did we miss?" Shunsui stopped in his tracks when he spotted what every one else was looking at. A heavily scarred blue-haired man stood in the corner. "Who's that?"

"I believe it to be our good friend Kurotsuchi-Taicho" Joshiro answered with a wave of his hand. Shunsui gaped.

"Him?" he yelled, "but he's- he's- he's-"

"...Gorgeous..."

Shunsui spun around in shock to face the speaker.

Nanao looked extremely surprised and embarrassed at her own choice of word. She clasped a hand to her mouth.

"Nanao-chan! Nooo! How could you even look at another man? I am your husband after all!" Shunsui cried desperately, grasping the hem of Nanao's dress as he grovelled in front of her. He was met with the sight of the front cover of a rather large book. It slowly got closer and closer to his face until he could no longer see it. He whimpered on the floor, holding his head in his hands to stop the pain.

Everyone's attention was now on Nanao. She tried to fix what she just said.

"...that is... if you like that sort of thing..." Shunsui looked up hopefully.

"Nanao-chan likes the rugged look? I knew it! I am so your type, aren't I?"

"No!" she said forcefully before storming off. Shunsui followed closely behind as he bombarded her with ideas for children's names. She tried to ignore him.

Everyone's heads rotated back to Mayuri. He searched for a distraction. He found one.

"Look everybody! Kurosaki has no hair!" he pointed to Ichigo. People looked. They furrowed their eyebrows at the sight of a no longer carrot-topped Ichigo.

"She burnt it off!" he shouted in defence while pointing at Rukia.

"Why would I do that?" she asked in that annoying innocent voice of hers. Ichigo had fury in his eyes. He stepped towards Rukia about to say something rather unkind.

"Kurosaki Ichigo, I strongly discourage you from saying anything further" Ichigo looked at Byakuya. He was standing as placidly as ever, but Ichigo could see a faint trace of sadistic happiness in his eyes. He mumbled something to the ground. Rukia smirked.

"Ok, people!" Kya interrupted the awkward silence, which only seemed more awkward because Iba had finally collapsed on the floor and was no longer singing. She clapped her hands. "This is meant to be a party! No fighting! Now dance!"

No one moved.

Kya narrowed her eyes.

"Dance" she said between gritted teeth. Suddenly, dancing seemed to commence.

This night was going to interesting.

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Zaraki was already on his fourth bottle of sake.

Yachiru was upset because he hadn't let her drink any of the prized liquid. After Mayuri, there wasn't even any non-alcoholic punch left that she could spike. She was sitting in the corner of the room, arms crossed, deep in sulking contemplation.

Zaraki didn't seem to notice. He was too busy in drinking galore.

"Zaraki-Taicho, I am not sure that drinking this much will be good on your health"

Zaraki turned his head to get a look at the person that was telling him off, ready to beat them senseless if necessary. His eyes widened.

"Uh, Unohana, I, um..." Zaraki stumbled with words. "...ya look nice..."

"Thank you" she replied with a sweet smile on her face.

Zaraki gulped.

"Yea, err, very... pretty..." Zaraki had heard that word before, although had never used it himself. He wasn't the type of guy who went around calling people _pretty_. It wasn't nearly a macho enough word for him to use. Only words like beef and snot and puke were macho enough for him. Pretty just wasn't _pretty_.

A small blush crept across Unohana's face.

"That is very kind of you to say so" she said politely

Again Zaraki gulped.

He downed the rest of the bottle of sake.

"Aint nothin"

Kya and Matsumoto watched the scene from the other side of the room. Things were going even better than planned.

"I knew it! Zaraki does like Unohana!" Matsumoto squealed to Kya under her breath.

"Well, duh, Ken-chan is so obvious. If I was Unohana I would have gotten him to ask me out years ago" Kya paused. "but then again, there is that one little complication between those two"

"What?" Matsumoto asked

"Oh my God, Rangiku, you will not believe it!" Kya exclaimed to her friend. Byakuya had left ten minutes ago to do the important thing of standing by the wall by the Christmas tree. He had rightly guessed that this would turn into another gossip fest. He didn't like gossip fests.

"What is it? Tell me!"

"Well, as you know, Ken-chan likes Unohana, but Unohana doesn't know if she likes him. She's always been preoccupied with another man in her life." Kya spilled

"Who?"

"A certain white haired captain" Matsumoto blinked.

"Unohana likes Shiro-chan? But that's like major paedophilia" she asked confused. Kya gave her an odd look.

"A different white haired captain"

Matsumoto looked off as if in thought. Maybe those bottles of sake were starting to take effect. Then it clicked. Her eyes widened and she gaped in shock at Kya, who, having seen her friend finally realise what she was talking about, was smiling.

"You don't mean?" she whispered. Kya nodded. "Wow"

"I know!" Kya agreed.

"Hang on, what about all those visits Ukitake takes to the fourth division, are they really because of his illness, or maybe something else?" Matsumoto giggled at this.

"But Joshiro hasn't acted on any feelings he may have. He's far too gentlemanly for that" Kya informed her knowingly. "Besides, I'm not sure myself if any feelings are actually there, and I would be the first to know"

Matsumoto nodded. She then turned her attention to another pair. Rukia was shouting at Ichigo for not getting her a drink in the entire half hour they had been here. Ichigo was giving as good as he got and the fight was raging.

"When will those two just give up and admit that they wanna hump each other?" she asked tiredly.

"But it's so much more complicated than that!" Kya almost shouted. Matsumoto raised an eyebrow. "Well..." she started explaining dramatically before taking another sip of sake, "... not only are those two so stupid that they don't even realise they love each other, but also Renji is crazy about Rukia in that deformed eyebrow-twitching way of his, and from what you've told me Orihime is crazy about Ichigo as well. Also, Byakuya won't let anyone lay a single finger on his precious sister so Ichigo can't suddenly jump on her. Now, not only does Orihime like Ichigo, but I've been watching them all night and it's pretty clear that fat girl also likes-"

"Who's fat girl?" Matsumoto had been listening intently throughout Kya's talk, but at hearing a name she did not know had to interrupt.

"Nerdy chick" Kya said as if it explained everything. Matsumoto continued looking at her confused. "Quincy boy?"

"Oh, Ishida, got it" Matsumoto understood, leaving Kya to continue.

"Where was I? Oh yes, well fat girl likes Orihime, but Orihime doesn't even see it. And Orihime is so sweet she doesn't want to hurt either Ichigo or Rukia by getting between them. Renji, on the other hand, will do anything to get between them. Now, Ichigo's sister, that one, likes Shiro-chan, but Shiro-chan is far too immersed in his vulgar teenage thoughts of Momo in her panties. Momo is still obsessed with Aizen so can't like Shiro-chan back, although I think the feelings are growing. But I know for a fact that Aizen was more interested in somewhat more manly members of the Gotei 13 than his sweet-hearted lieutenant. But of course, Soifon is kinda insane over Yoruichi, even though Yoruichi is dating Kisuke. Yoruichi also had a tiny little thing with Byakuya when they were kids, but that's not important, and almost every single girl in Seireitei likes Byakuya, as well as Sasakibe. He's a dirty old man and has a twisted sense of what's hot, coz he likes Iba. But Iba likes Nanao. And naturally Nanao is sane and doesn't like him back, but instead has the tiniest hint of a thing for her captain. Shunsui loves Nanao of course but Nanao will never admit it. Shunsui also experimented when he was younger with Joshiro, but that didn't work out so well. Another person that likes Joshiro is Kira, even though he's secretly dating Hisagi. And-"

"What the hell?" Matsumoto again interrupted Kya. Her brain was over-frying with the mountain of information.

"Yeah, Kira and Hisagi" Kya replied still talking at speed. "Anyway, it won't last long coz Hisagi quite likes Renji, who as we've already discussed likes Rukia. And that brings us right back round to the Rukia and Ichigo situation!"

Kya finally stopped. Matsumoto stared blank-eyed.

That was a lot to ingest in so short a time.

How did Kya even know all this stuff?

She was like psychic or something, otherwise it would have surely been impossible to know all that.

"I didn't know Seireitei was so full of complex relationships" Matsumoto said with wide eyes. She still hadn't blinked. Her mind had melted.

"Rangiku?" Kya asked, hoping to sort out what her speech had done. Matsumoto blinked and whipped her head up to stare at her.

"Yeah?"

"You ok?" Kya sounded concerned. Matsumoto didn't know how to respond. Would she ever be ok again knowing all that stuff?

She needed a drink.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Karin and Yuzu stood on the side of the room, watching the odd sight before them. Why would their father bring them to such a ruckus party like this? He should be trying to protect them from people like this, not introduce them to them.

"And how are my little darlings this evening?" Isshin spun around up to his daughters, smiling happily. His smile faltered when Karin's foot met his stomach.

"What the hell are you doing bringing me and Yuzu here?" she shouted at him. He pouted.

"Teaching you valuable life lessons of course!" he answered with a determined father look on his face.

"But these people, they're... they're..."

"Drunk" Yuzu finished for her sister. Karin nodded in agreement.

"And that is the important life lesson! You should learn about alcohol when you are still young! Then when you are older you will not be tempted!" Isshin nodded smugly as if he knew what he was talking about. He didn't.

"If anything drives me to drinking it would be you!" Karin told her father. He looked shocked at the revelation.

"Ichigoooo!" he cried. Ichigo walked up to him.

"What do you want now?" he asked sternly. Isshin started sobbing.

"Karin... and Yuzu... were being mean..." he sniffed dramatically.

"You deserved it" Ichigo said blankly.

"What?" Isshin exclaimed in disbelief "Well at least I'm not ignoring my lady-friend to come talk to my father!"

"You were the one that called me over!" Ichigo shouted, an anger mark on his bald head. "And Rukia isn't my _lady-friend_!"

"There is no point in denying it! Everybody can see it!" Isshin announced, "If I was you I would have already filled her with enough alcohol for her to loose her inhibitions! I remember when I was your age, there was this pretty girl and she refused to-"

A dark shadow fell across the group. Isshin continued his tale of immorality. Ichigo looked up and gulped.

Byakuya stared coldly at him.

"I can assure you, Kurosaki, that you will not be doing such things"

---------------------------------------------------------------

**This was getting too long. The next one will have more characters in it.**

**Rosie and Jim were puppets from a really old kid's show from the UK. They were dolls that lived on a narrow boat and would tell us all about the amazingly interesting places they visited on the journey through the English countryside. Me and my brother used to get teased because of that programme. Not only do we go on holidays on a narrow boat, but our names are Rosie and John... oh, the pain!**

**And I don't agree with foie gras, which is why I put it in a bad light hopefully. **

**All the pairings that Kya told Matsumoto are basically how I see things. It is so obvious that Kira and Hisagi are gay together, anyone can see it. ZarakiXUnohana forever! I love those two together! It just works!**

**Me and Rhea have been discussing the smexy bleach male cast list. It includes nearly everyone, apart from fat girl, Iba, Omaeda, Tousen, all the bounts and most of the arrancar. Emo boy Ulquiorra and muscly Grimmjaw are allowed, and so is nerdy Aizen. Elvis Aizen has been rejected. THEY SHALL NOT PAAASSSS! Renji used to be off it, but I've changed my mind about him and now he can join the group.**

**Here's a poem I wrote about the smexy bleach male cast list:**

**Oh, give me a home  
****Where the smexy do roam  
****And Mayuri and Byakuya plaayyy!**

**Where seldom is heard  
****An unsmexy word  
****And the beds are in use all the daayyy!**

**Review for me pleeaaase!!**


	55. Dancing

**I'm INFECTED! It's all Rhea's fault! She got me ill! Well, actually, everybody's ill at school at the moment, some weird fluey bug's going around. But I'm still blaming Rhea!**

**Chapter 54 :**** Dancing**

---------------------------------------------

Hitsugaya didn't like dancing. It was just something he didn't enjoy. To him, there were two types of people in the world; those who could dance and those that couldn't. People that fell into the first category were Joshiro, Shunsui and Unohana. People in the latter were Renji, Zaraki and Mayuri. Unfortunately, Hitsugaya also joined these people, although he had more common sense than to actually try in front of all these people.

Renji had no such sense.

Hitsugaya winced when he saw the red-haired fool trip over his own feet for the fifth time in the same number of minutes.

Sure, it wasn't as if he didn't know how to dance. He had just never tried before. Matsumoto had many a time told him of how 'dancing was the key to the soul' and 'only a true man can put his inhibitions aside and leap elegantly into the spotlight'. Somehow, though, Hitsugaya didn't think he would be _leaping_ anywhere anytime soon.

So, of course, this meant that Hitsugaya was not joining in with the Christmas festivities that the others seemed to find so enthralling. Instead, he would just stay here, by the wall, out of the way. After all, dancing could be dangerous, as Renji was currently demonstrating.

"Hey! Shiro-chan! Why so glum?" Hitsugaya sighed at the voice before turning to face that woman.

"What do you want?"

Kya looked slightly hurt at his rudeness, but seemed to recover amazingly quickly.

"Nothing at all! I was just wondering why you're standing here looking like a social outcast when you could be having so much fun!" she said happily while looking around the church hall.

"And what fun would that be?" Hitsugaya asked her with slightly narrower eyes than usual.

"Well, for one, you could be off having your way with one of the many girls here, or more if you're into that kind of thing" Kya told him as if it were a fact. Hitsugaya received an anger mark.

"What? I would never _have my way_ with anyone! Especially more than one girl! I'm not a scumbag!" Kya chose to ignore his comment

"Ooo! Look!" she pointed off into the crowd, "there's Momo! Why don't you go and dance with her? She looks like she'd appreciate a friendly face"

"I don't think-" Hitsugaya stopped mid-sentence when he caught sight of where Kya was pointing. Momo did indeed look as if she needed a friendly face to rescue her. She was standing uncomfortably while Kira talked to Urahara. The aforementioned looked completely drunk and was holding onto Momo's shoulder for support, not able to hold himself up anymore. Momo obviously wanted to leave, but Kira was just yapping on to Urahara and didn't notice. Urahara looked as if he was enjoying the situation.

"Doesn't she look pretty?" Kya asked him suddenly.

"Ye- No! What are you on about?" Hitsugaya shouted. As much as he didn't want to admit it, Momo did look incredibly pretty in the cute yellow dress. But Hitsugaya didn't think about things like that. He couldn't. They were friends. That was all.

Kya nudged him.

"Bet ya wanna piece of that, don'tcha?" she asked him slyly. Hitsugaya glared at her. Kya felt the sudden drop in temperature but didn't care. "Hey, look! I think Kisuke has the same idea!"

Hitsugaya's head turned so quickly that he almost fell over. There was Momo. And there was Urahara. Hitsugaya's blood boiled. His hand was on her arm.

"See you later!" Kya called after him as he stomped towards the perpetrator.

Kya smiled with satisfaction.

"This was all just an excuse to match-make, wasn't it?"

Kya turned to Byakuya who had appeared behind her. She smiled at him and he kept the suspecting look in his eyes.

"Oh, my little Kuchiki, you know me far too well"

---------------------------------------------

Urahara was sulking.

There he had been, just friendly talking to the girl, when all of a sudden Hitsugaya had come up to them and pulled the girl away. It wasn't as if he had been doing anything wrong. He had only flicked a fly away when it had landed on her arm. It wasn't his fault if Hitsugaya happened to think it was something else!

And then he had been stuck with a rather intoxicated Kira. If it hadn't have been for Hisagi dragging him away to do who knew what, he might just have had to hit himself over the head to stop the pain of hearing Kira sputter on about so much nonsense.

And now he was alone, in the corner, no one to talk to.

It wasn't right!

"Psst!"

Urahara peered around in the air. Was that a fly?

"Psst!"

No it didn't sound like a fly. Maybe it was a-

"Yoruichi! So this is where you got to!" he said after being dragged rather forcefully into the middle of the Christmas tree. Yoruichi sat opposite him, looking around the hall shiftily.

"Is she still there?" she whispered to him frantically.

"Is who still there, my dear?" he asked calmly. She turned her wide eyes to look at him.

"_Her_"

"Oh, you mean Soifon" Urahara cried finally understanding what Yoruichi had been doing in the tree. Frankly, if Yoruichi hadn't been hiding from Soifon's rampant worshipping he would have thought of her a tad insane. "Well, yes she's still out there. I think she's looking for you"

"Dammit" Yoruichi muttered under her breath. Urahara touched her cheek.

"You know... while we're here..."

"Kisuke! And I thought you were a gentleman!" she replied light-heartedly. Urahara smirked.

"And why would you think that?"

---------------------------------------------

Ishida was standing, occasionally joining in the conversations his friends were having. To be honest, he was slightly disappointed when Ichigo had chosen to show up. He had been talking to Orihime and the hope in her eyes when she saw him enter somehow upset Ishida. He knew he shouldn't be upset. He wasn't dumb enough not to realise the feelings she had for Ichigo. He should be happy for them. He had grown to call them friends after all.

But there was something else, something that wouldn't stop plaguing Ishida's mind.

He didn't want Ichigo to have Orihime.

He wanted her for himself.

And then there was Rukia.

Was Ichigo really that blind that he couldn't see what he was doing to these two girls? Of course he was. Ichigo was a fool.

Maybe if Ichigo could see what was happening then things would be alright. Maybe if he saw Rukia's denied feelings then Ishida wouldn't be stuck without anyone. Maybe if Ichigo returned her feelings then Orihime could finally move on.

With him.

"Rukia, don't drink that stuff!" Ishida was knocked out of his thoughts by Ichigo's voice.

"And why not?" Rukia asked him stubbornly. Ishida saw what Ichigo was talking about. The glass of clear liquid rippled in the light.

"Because you're too young!" Ichigo shouts only seemed to make Rukia mad.

"Too young? Too young?" Rukia was screaming now. Ishida sighed. Surely this would cause just another argument between the pair. And over vodka, for goodness sake! Why couldn't they ever find anything sensible to fight about? "You don't even know how old I am! How can you say I'm too young?"

"Because you are!" Ichigo yelled. Rukia hit him on the head and he fell to the floor.

"Kurosaki-kun" Orihime said worriedly as she bent down to see if Ichigo was hurt seriously. Ishida's heart did an odd twist.

"Serves him right!" Rukia shouted before storming off.

"Are you ok, Kurosaki-kun?"

"He's fine" Ishida said, secretly wanting Orihime to forget about Ichigo. He wished she would look at him with the same kind of concern she was looking at Ichigo with now. But she wouldn't.

"But-"

Orihime was cut off by a loud crashing noise. Everyone in the room turned to where it was coming from.

Two bodies had just fallen out of the large Christmas tree and had brought down one of the lanterns with them.

Urahara looked up and realised that they were no longer under the cover of pine branches.

"Oh, look, Yoruichi! I found you! Wasn't that a good game of hide and seek?"

"Uh, yes, yes it was!" Yoruichi and Urahara both gazed around the room. They were met with unbelieving stares. For one, why would they choose to play hide and seek at this party? For another, why would they choose to play hide and seek at this party only in their underwear?

"Well then," Urahara continued, "I think it's my turn to hide!"

He leapt up off of Yoruichi and ran.

"I'll go count then!" Yoruichi called after him before picking herself up and also running out of the room. It was funny how even though Yoruichi was supposed to be counting, she appeared to be suspiciously following the path Urahara had just taken.

They weren't very good at cover stories.

Surely even Momo didn't believe that.

"Shiro-chan, why were they playing hide and seek?"

Scratch that.

Hitsugaya returned his gaze to the girl who was talking with such innocence. He sighed. He couldn't tell Momo the vulgar truth.

"I don't know"

---------------------------------------------

Nanao stared icily at her captain.

Why did he have to be such a jerk? Why couldn't he be more like... Joshiro, for example? Why did he have to turn up in the most outrageous pink tuxedo she had ever seen? Why couldn't he just be a gentleman?

Ahh, she wished the book hadn't mysteriously vanished.

It was odd that as soon as she had lost sight of the hefty hardback Shunsui's actions became somewhat more... daring. She would have to have a little talk with him later about that. If anything had happened to her beloved book then someone was sure to pay. That someone was probably going to be her captain.

Her captain, who was currently floating around the dance floor, Nemu in his hold.

Nanao gritted her teeth.

Shunsui wasn't supposed to like Nemu. Shunsui was supposed to like her!

But, Nemu did look somewhat happy in having been asked to dance. It wasn't as if her 'father' was going to do so anytime soon and no one else would dare ask her because of who her 'father' actually was. No one wanted to voluntarily become one of Mayuri's science experiments, after all. Somehow, the prospect of being turned into a poodle wasn't the most inviting thing they could think of.

But Shunsui had ignored this fact, marched straight up to her, bowed and offered a hand.

Mayuri didn't seem to even notice. He was too busy trying to hide behind the drinks table.

It wasn't as if Nanao was jealous. No, Nanao couldn't be jealous of Nemu for something like that. It was her that had been trying to avoid Shunsui's insistent advances all these years.

Why then was this now starting to bother her?

She must be ill or something. What else would it be?

---------------------------------------------

"Alright everyone, I would just like to take this moment to thank all of you for showing up for this amazing event!" Kya's voice echoed through the room and seemed to be amplified somehow. "Now, if you'd all like to find a partner, we will come to the last dance of the night!"

Kya's voice died away and slow music started up. The lanterns flickered and went out, leaving the room to only be lit by the soft fairy lights on the walls.

Hitsugaya looked at Momo. She was staring out at the hall in wonder.

Matsumoto prodded him hard on the arm.

"Er," he stepped forwards towards Momo. He looked down at the floor nervously. "Momo, would you, umm, you know, like to dance?"

Momo turned to him and smiled.

"Sure, Shiro-chan"

---------------------------------------------

"May I have this dance?"

"Why, of course" Unohana took Joshiro's hand and he led her out onto the dimly lit dance floor.

Zaraki had passed out some time ago so wasn't really in the position to care anymore.

---------------------------------------------

Ichigo gazed at the people around the room that were starting to pair up.

Hitsugaya had overcome his fear of dancing for Momo. Unohana and Joshiro were waltzing elegantly. Yoruichi and Urahara had chosen to return from their game of 'hide and seek' for the end of the night. Orihime had politely accepted Ishida's rather nervous offer. Nanao seemed to have finally given in to his annoying whines and was dancing with Shunsui. Renji had been taken aback when Isane had asked him to dance, but accepted nonetheless. Mayuri had ventured out from behind the table and dared to show his face in the clumsy dance with Nemu. In the lack of anyone else more canine, Komamura was dancing with Matsumoto. His father was gallivanting around the room with Yuzu. Even Kira and Hisagi didn't seem to care who was watching and slow-danced together.

Ichigo turned his head to the person standing next to him. He gulped.

"Hey, Rukia" he said quietly. He nodded towards the centre of the room "you wanna...?"

She shrugged.

"Why not?"

---------------------------------------------

Kya stood next to Byakuya at the side of the room, waiting. She bit her lip and looked off to the side while fiddling with her hands in front of her.

She sighed and gave up.

"Byakuya" she turned to face him exhausted, "are you going to ask me to dance or not?"

"Not" he answered simply.

"Don't I deserve one tiny dance at my own party?" she asked him pleadingly. He looked at her.

"You have had many dances tonight with a variety of people" he told her. He didn't get it, did he?

"But none with you" she gazed at him. He saw the disappointment in her eyes. "Please"

He silently turned and walked out of the door to the church. Kya ran after him. She dashed down the snow covered steps and outside into the crisp night air. Snowflakes were still falling from the sky, although their journey was slower and less forceful than it had been earlier in the day. Quiet music could sill be heard, originating from inside the warm church.

"Byakuya!" she called out into the air. She couldn't see where he had gone. Why had he run away so suddenly? Kya knew he didn't like showing any sort of affection in public, but a dance? That couldn't have been enough to make him scarper the way he did. She looked out into the white of the street, wanting to see the outline of his form walking towards her. He would apologise and they would enter the church again in time for the end of the dance.

It didn't happen like that.

Kya shivered in the snow and crossed her bare arms against her chest.

"Don't be cold" the whisper in her ear only caused another shiver to run up her spine. This time she knew it had nothing to do with the temperature. Strong arms wrapped around her from behind and Kya felt the warming sensation immediately. Byakuya held her to his chest.

"I thought you'd gone" Kya whispered

"I'd never go and leave you behind"

Kya turned and rested her hands behind his neck. She looked up into his eyes and smiled softly.

"Would you give me the honour of this dance?" Byakuya asked her gently. Kya's smile only increased.

"I thought you didn't dance?"

Byakuya gave her a look that told her that he could easily change his mind about asking her. Kya didn't want to push her luck. She laid her head against his chest.

"Of course" she whispered before closing her eyes and allowing her other senses to take control. Byakuya felt warm. She could hear his heart beat faintly below her head. She could smell the alluring aroma coming from his shirt.

They danced.

There below the stars, with the snow falling softly around them, they swayed from side to side in time to the muffled music.

It was so peaceful, so loving. Kya never wanted to let go. Even after the music had faded and all was quiet she held on.

Then she felt it.

Her eyes flew open and she ripped her head away from him, staring into the dark night. Byakuya furrowed his eyebrows at her.

Not now, anytime but now.

"When?" Byakuya asked her seriously. Kya turned her head to him and returned the sombre stare.

"Now"

---------------------------------------------

**Oooo! –waves hands in front of face mysteriously- **

**It's a cliff hanger, aint it?**

**Anyways, I was thinking about putting more in this chap but then decided not to as I really couldn't think of anything that Rhea didn't already do. Damn you Rhea! Damn you and your imagination for being so similar to mine!**

**Thesorrowfulvampress gets a cookie today, because she rules and reviews all the time. Go you!**

**Reviewies are for special people, and people always call me special.**


	56. Searching for Something

**Ahhh! I've just finished watching Ouran for about the fifth time. I squealed for about ten minutes straight when it ended. I LOVE THEM ALL! Oh, the twincest! Oh, Mori's smexy silentness! Oh, Honey's squeal-factor! Oh, Kyouya's nerdy arseholeness! Oh, Tamaki's gentlemanly awesomeness! SQUEAL!!! Now I feel drugged. Ouran is my drug.**

**Then, to make matters worse, I went downstairs and my dad was watching LOTR and Aragorn's buff face was taking up the screen. I actually screamed it was that bad. When my dad asked me what was wrong and I told him 'Aragorn is super macho' he just ignored me. But then Saruman came on screen and I was like 'Go away Father Christmas! Bring macho man back!' Again I was blanked by my dad. He also blanked me when I told him Gandalf was smexy. **

**I think he thinks I'm doing crack in my room. **

**Chapter 55 : Searching for something**

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"When?" Byakuya asked her seriously. Kya turned her head to him and returned the sombre stare.

"Now"

Sure enough it happened. The air suddenly felt heavy around them. The crushing feeling could be felt throughout Karakura by those who cared to stop what they were doing and listen. Inside the church, even those who had passed out sensed it and awoke. All breathing stopped as they sought the origin of the feeling.

Kya heard footsteps behind her, but her attention remained on the road in front.

"What's happening?" Matsumoto asked from her place on the steps. Neither Byakuya nor Kya replied. Kya stared into the darkness of the night. Byakuya watched her silently. The snow had grown heavier, damper. It was slowly turning to rain around them. Another ten minutes and no trace of the white flakes would remain in the sky; it would be replaced fully by water.

"Kya!"

Finally she turned. She met Yoruichi's questioning gaze. Her eyes scanned the small crowd that had assembled outside the church. It appeared that no one would be left inside the building anymore. There were three different choices of the expressions on their faces; confusion, resoluteness, or concern. Kya knew they expected her to fix all these expressions instantly so that they could smile again. She also knew she couldn't do that.

"Hadn't you better go and sort that out?" the words came out of her mouth and surprised quite a few there with their sternness. Zaraki and Shunsui nodded before easily discarding their gigai and flying off. Yuzu squealed at the sudden fainting of the two men. Kya turned and started walking away. Matsumoto stepped forwards.

"Kya, aren't you-"

"No"

"But, Kya!"

Kya ignored Matsumoto and instead continued walking down the street. There were enough of them. They could handle it.

Matsumoto stared at the shape getting gradually smaller as it walked away from them. What was she doing? Why was she just leaving them? They needed her!

"Alright people, you know what to do!" Matsumoto was knocked out of her thoughts by Soifon's strict words. She looked and saw pills popped, gigai abandoned, and a hoard of black robes.

"Yuzu, Karin, go home!" Ichigo told his sisters forcefully.

"What's going on? Why are you telling us to go home?" Karin shouted confused at what was happening around her and why these people seemed so serious all of the sudden.

"Just do it!" Ichigo yelled. Karin was about to protest but stopped when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't worry, I'll watch them"

"Taicho, I, err, shouldn't you help the others or something?" Rukia asked Joshiro. He smiled softly.

"I'm afraid the cold is getting to me. Go on, I'll make sure nothing happens to these ones" he told them. Ichigo nodded his thanks before jumping into the sky and leaving. Rukia followed closely behind. Isshin approached the pale captain.

"Thank you" he said. Yuzu didn't like the tone he was using. He sounded so much more sober than usual. He never spoke like that. What was going on? Her father then turned his gaze to her and Karin. "Don't cause too much trouble for him, ok?"

Yuzu nodded. Karin didn't.

"Dad! Tell me what's happening! I-" Karin didn't get to finish her sentence. Her dad had already left. She looked around. Several of the people that had been at the party were just standing in the corner, giggling to themselves. Others were just slumped across the floor unconscious. None of their black-robed doubles were there anymore. They seemed to have all left. To do what, Karin had only a faint idea.

"Let's get inside, eh? You'll catch a cold" she peered up at the kind looking man that had offered to watch them. Karin was too nervous to argue now. She nodded. Joshiro led Yuzu by the shoulder into the church again. Karin took one last look at the shadowy road before turning and following.

Whatever was happening, her brother would sort it out.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Nanao flash-stepped through the town, searching for her captain. He had left so quickly she had not had the chance to catch up with him. But for some reason she wanted to find him, make sure he was safe. She put this down to lieutenant duties. It was only natural for a lieutenant to be concerned about their captain, wasn't it?

So when the others had started to leave in their separate directions, she had gone off on her own to find him. At first she had been following his riatsu, but with such high spirit pressure all around her she had lost the path. He was certainly keeping his partly hidden. And with all of the strongest Shinigami in the same town at the same time it was only natural to become confused by all the different riatsu around. Add to that the other main pressure in the air and there was no way she would be able to find him by his riatsu.

So she was running blindly.

Why had they appeared so suddenly? Of course, having so many high level Shinigami in the same place must have drawn them out. But why at that particular time? They had been here for days. They could have shown up at any time. Something didn't add up.

Nanao turned a corner in the road. The snow was gone. It had all been melted in the now heavy rain. Water splashed up from the ground as she placed her foot in a puddle. She didn't even notice.

She stopped.

She gasped.

The figure turned.

--------------------------------------------------------------

"Ichigo!"

Ichigo turned in midair to face the approaching people. Rukia soon caught up with him.

"What are you guys doing here? Go home, it's too dangerous!" his words didn't seem to have the desired effect.

"And why would they be too dangerous? Is it because I'm a girl?" Rukia roared at him angrily. His eyes went into 'wtf' mode as she continued to bombard him with questions about why he was being sexist.

"We're not leaving" Ishida interrupted her shouting and crossed his arms calmly.

"But-"

"No buts, idiot!" Rukia yelled and she hit him on the head. "We're here to help! Be grateful!"

Ichigo sighed. He wasn't going to win this one.

"Ok" he agreed reluctantly.

"Good" Ishida said. Ichigo looked at him.

"When you find time to change?" he asked. Ishida was wearing the white uniform again. All of it. Even the skirt. Ichigo never did get that. Maybe Ishida just enjoyed dressing up in girl's clothing.

"I'm a Quincy, I have super fast speed" Ishida informed him. Ichigo blinked.

"Was that an insult?" he asked honestly not knowing whether it was supposed to be one or not. Ishida pushed his glasses up his nose.

"Yes"

"Why you-"

Ichigo stopped mid-sentence. The air felt heavy around them. The invisible crushing on his shoulders could not be a good sign. The others had obviously felt it too.

They all slowly turned in the air.

The bystander grinned sadistically.

"Good evening"

--------------------------------------------------------------

Zaraki stepped calmly through the streets. Around him people carried on with their normal activities. Zaraki grinned at the sights of the rougher area of Karakura. Women in less clothing than should have been humanly possible paraded themselves on the sidewalk. Young punks wolf whistled from their motorcycles. Older men stumbled around, obviously having been thrown out of whatever bar they had chosen that night. Small children huddled against the walls of the filthy buildings, not having a proper roof for the night. All were soaked to the bones in the rainfall. The only ones that seemed to care were the children. They shivered and sneezed.

Zaraki's grin disappeared.

He used to be like those kids.

Alone.

Zaraki dismissed the thoughts from his mind as he continued down the road, completely unseen by any of the scum that occupied the area.

He was wet. His hair was starting to wilt. He was too busy to notice.

It was near here.

He was sure of that. He had felt it certainly. Now all was left was to decipher the precise location. That would be the hard part. The rest would be easy.

He heard a scream coming from one of the narrow alleyways to the side of the street.

Nobody even blinked. No doubt, screams were common in a place like this. It was probably a mugging or some other form of violence. The scream had been feminine. Maybe it was a rape. Zaraki narrowed his eyes. He didn't like rape.

Casually, he walked over to the entrance of the alleyway. He started down it.

The dark engulfed him. It didn't affect Zaraki's senses at all. He had enough spirit pressure to guide himself down an alleyway.

His feet halted in the centre of a puddle when he saw where the scream had originated from. A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

"Well, well, well, look at what I found 'ere"

--------------------------------------------------------------

Nemu followed her captain obediently as he led her through the richest part of Karakura. Large houses lined the streets with foreboding gates and long winding driveways up to their front doors. Nemu hadn't seen houses like this before. The only human houses she had ever seen were those which she had encountered in the past few days. Mayuri didn't let her come to the real world often.

Nemu watched her captain's actions carefully. Every now and then he would look down at the bleeping device in his hands, checking they were on course. He was moving with surprisingly little hurry. Of course he wouldn't panic over something like this; he was far too self-possessed for anything like that.

He checked the device again before turning down another road.

Water soaked Nemu's hair and splashed down her bare legs. It was times like this that she wished maybe she had stuck to the original Shinigami uniform and not this skirt.

The snow had changed to rain quickly. The extra spirit particles in the air must have acted as an atmospheric modifier and caused the temperature to rise the necessary degrees for the precipitation to fall in the form of liquid instead of solid. It was an interesting effect.

Mayuri didn't seem to notice the rain at all. He was too busy in the task at hand to be bothered by such trifling things. He didn't even seem to care that he was still without his mask anymore.

This was definitely serious.

"Stop" Mayuri instructed. Nemu did as she was told. "Here"

Nemu was confused at this. She couldn't see anything around her. Was the device wrong? No, it wouldn't be. It had been tested many a time and always got the position correct.

Mayuri looked up into the sky. Rain hit his face forcefully. One corner of his lips twitched.

Then Nemu noticed something.

No rain was falling on her. It was pummelling the ground all around where she stood, but not on her.

She too tilted her head upwards.

She stepped backwards in shock.

"'Ello poppet"

--------------------------------------------------------------

"I mean, why would she just leave like that? Normally she'd be all pow! and kersap! but she just left! It was so out of character! I wonder wha-"

"Matsumoto! I'm trying to concentrate!" Hitsugaya shouted at his lieutenant. She had been going on for the past ten minutes straight about Kya's sudden departure and he was now beyond frustration. Matsumoto looked shocked at his outburst.

"But-"

"Look, Rangiku, maybe she just wanted some space, that's not odd, is it?" Renji asked her.

"Yes it is! Kya doesn't ever want space! She's not like that!" Matsumoto defended her argument.

"She could be" Hisagi told her. Matsumoto got angry at this.

"Are you telling me that I don't even know my best friend? Coz I'm telling you now that the-"

"He wasn't saying that. It's just, you know, maybe the situation got to her" Matsumoto turned to Kira furiously.

"But that's doesn't happen! You don't kno-"

"Matsumoto!" Hitsugaya again interrupted her. She pouted but was quiet. Hitsugaya sighed. How did he get stuck with this lot?

"I'm just saying..." Matsumoto mumbled to herself

"Well don't. I need quiet" Hitsugaya shut his eyes again, trying to search for what he was looking for. Being up high on top of one of Karakura's taller buildings was the best place for something like this. And the rain helped a considerable amount, although his lieutenant's complaints about her hair getting wet did not.

"Taicho!"

Hitsugaya groaned at Matsumoto's yell.

"What is it now?" he asked annoyed, his eyes still shut.

"Taicho!" Matsumoto again shouted, this time with more desperation. Hitsugaya's eyes whipped open.

The sight he was met with was not a pretty one.

"Matsumoto!"

--------------------------------------------------------------

Byakuya walked through the streets of Karakura. He was searching for something. Not the something that everyone else was searching for. Something else. Something more personal.

Kya was hiding her riatsu. There was no way to find her by that means. He knew it would be hopeless. He was left with only his knowledge of her.

Where would she go?

That was the question that kept plaguing Byakuya's mind. If he found the answer to that question then surely he would find her. But that answer would not come to him. He didn't know where she would go in a situation like this. He had never seen her in a situation like this.

He did know that she would prefer not to fight if possible. And it was now possible. All captains and lieutenants, as well as several other powerful beings were currently in this town. Kya would probably leave them to fight and try not to get involved. Despite her abilities, she didn't enjoy full-blown battles. She didn't enjoy battles in general. If she had to kill, she would do it quickly, probably before her victim even had a chance to realise she was there. It was simpler that way.

But if she wasn't fighting herself, where would she go?

Byakuya walked down an empty road. The rain battered down around him, soaking him in the suit. He hadn't gotten out of his gigai yet. He didn't need to for this.

His white shirt was drenched, almost see through now. The jacket wasn't doing anything to help his situation. He had discarded the tie as soon as possible and undid the top button of his shirt so he could breathe normally again.

The shops around him were dark inside. Not even the bars were open here. It seemed as if this area had shut down early for the night. He guessed this may have had something to do with it being Christmas.

His hair was saturated with water and sticking to his face. He suddenly found himself wishing that Kya hadn't taken his kenseiken away from him for the night. They would have now helped in keeping the black strands out of his eyes.

Where would she go?

He turned his head upwards and stared into the dark clouds above him. Rain hit his face and trickled down his jaw line.

Where would she go?

Then he felt it.

He snapped his head back down and met the gaze of the other figure on the road. They stood in front of him. Their face almost as placid as his own.

"It is a pleasure to finally meet you... Kuchiki Byakuya"

--------------------------------------------------------------

**Mwahaha! More cliffies! **

**Yeah, no fighting in this one, it will come in the next one. It will probably be crap, as I'm not very good at writing fight-scenes. Soz bout that.**

**I went downstairs again half-way through writing this. My mum had just gotten home and my dad had just finished watching LOTR. Apparently, my mum thinks Aragorn looks like Sean Bean. I was like 'WTF?! Aragorn is a smexy macho man while Sean Bean is just a blonde fool!' My mum doesn't agree. She quite likes Sean Bean... he's so blonde...**

**Elves are so gay. You just have to look at their Loreal hair to see it. Because they're worth it...**

**This time Sakiru Yume gets a cookie. Yes, you do review all the time, and because of that I am your slave for eternity. Damn, I forgot, I'm already Rhea's slave... sorry, guess I can't be yours.**

**But if you review I will work as Rhea's slave extra hard to make up for it! So it all evens out!**

**Ahhh! The rabbit's back! Protect the socks!**

**I I  
****(o . o)  
****-O O-**


	57. Zanon

**I really can't write fight scenes...**

**This one is dedicated to all my loyal reviewers, like tomboy-66, Sakiru Yume, Sakimi 1014, the sorrowfulvampress, closedofHeart, and CatherineIshida. You guys rock! I love you all!**

**You know who doesn't rock? ...Rhea...**

**Chapter 56 : Zanon**

---------------------------------------------------------------

Orihime ran down the narrow road. Tall office blocks flanked either side of her. The place seemed deserted. Rain smashed down upon her from the sky. She involuntarily shuddered at the cold.

She had to pull herself together. She was doing this for a reason.

She had tried to follow her friends, but Rukia and Ishida had told her to stay at the church with Joshiro where she might be safe. Orihime wanted to believe that her safety was the only reason for their leaving her behind, but she also realised the other reason.

She held them back.

Why now then was she not at the church? Why had she chosen to disobey her friends' words and instead sprint through the cold night at her own risk?

One reason.

She couldn't do nothing.

She had to help. She knew she wouldn't be any use to them in battle. Her skills were far too weak to be of any benefit. They didn't even need her to heal them. If they were wounded then they would have to fight on. They couldn't stop a fight so that somebody could walk up to them and take time to make them better. Any opponent that allowed that would surely have their own intestine jump up and strangle their brain to stop the stupidity.

Where was she going then? If she couldn't help, then where would her skills be needed?

Truth be told, she didn't know herself.

But she couldn't just sit in that church doing nothing. At least by running around she might run into somebody that needed her. It was better than nothing.

Her foot slipped against the wet pavement and she startled tumbling forwards. She put her hands up in front of her face just in time. She opened her eyes and stared at the cold grey concrete below her.

She truly was hopeless. She couldn't even run without tripping over her own feet. Why did she have to be like this?

A tear leaked out of her eye. No, she couldn't cry. Not now. Her wishes were unmet and the salty liquid continued to force its way through. She kneeled on the pavement, head in her hands, sobbing.

No wonder they wanted her to stay at the church.

She would forever be nothing but a burden.

"Orihime?"

---------------------------------------------------------------

"'Ello poppet"

Nemu stared at the strange thing above her. He smiled and looked at her oddly while leaning forwards. The closest comparison Nemu could come up with was Matsumoto when she saw an unopened bottle of sake. Hunger. That's what it was.

"Um, hello?" Nemu said quietly. Mayuri rolled his eyes.

"Nemu, go stand over there or something" he ordered her. She wanted to do as instructed, but for some reason couldn't. Her legs wouldn't move. It wasn't fear, it was something else. Intrigue perhaps? All she knew was that her mind was racing with thoughts about this creature, and had little room to think about obeying her captain.

The thing laughed.

"Looks like she don't wanna" he mocked Mayuri. It lowered in the air until it was hovering just above the ground. His face was just in front of Nemu's and he was watching her keenly. "Do ya, poppet?"

He reached out a hand and brought it up to the same level as Nemu's cheek. He was about to touch her.

Mayuri had had enough.

The creature retracted his hand when he felt the sharp edge of a sword slice across it. He looked at his hand carefully. A thin line of red was oozing out of a new cut.

Mayuri stood in front of Nemu, his eyes narrowed. Ashisogi Jizo was held in his hands threateningly.

"I would like you to know that if you harm any of my creations I will be forced to slice off your reproductive organs, if you have any. Concocting a new Nemu would be quite a hassle and I'm a busy man" Mayuri whispered dangerously.

The man brought his hand to his mouth and licked the trickle of blood from the cut. His dark green hair was drenched and fell to his shoulders in knots and tangles. Apart from the bizarre hair colour, Nemu noticed something else. He looked human. Everything from the face down to the clothing was human. The only thing that suggested otherwise was when he smiled. His teeth weren't normal. Or more accurately, two of his teeth weren't normal. His canines looked sharper, more defined than the others, almost fanglike.

"If you're so busy then why're you 'ere, looking for little ol' me?" he asked in the same disturbing voice as he had used before.

"I have always wished to meet one of your kind," Mayuri answered calmly. "You're interesting"

The man laughed a deep laugh at this.

"Well I guess that's one way t' put it" he looked over Mayuri's shoulder at Nemu again "And what's your name, poppet?"

"Kurotsuchi Nemu" she answered quietly before Mayuri had a chance to stop her.

"Pretty" the man said with a grin on his face. That hunger was back in his eyes. Nemu finally stepped backwards. Was she mistaken, or did she really see a flash of yellow cross those eyes? Whatever is was, she didn't like it.

"Nemu, get out of the way" Mayuri snapped at her while still watching the creature. She nodded and walked to one side of the wide road, out of her moment of paralysis. She watched the scene of the two men. Each appeared to be sizing the other up, debating how strong the other really was. Nemu knew the answer to that question for one of them, but the other she had no idea.

Mayuri pointed his zanpaktou at the man again. The tip was only a centimetre away from his chest. The man only grinned.

"Maybe I'll spare your life, I'm sure you'd make a fascinating research project" Mayuri said. The grin left the other's face and he looked as if he was considering this.

"A bit arrogant, aint ya?" he asked. "Ya aint even told me ya name yet"

"Captain of the twelfth division of the thirteen guard squads, Kurotsuchi Mayuri" Mayuri answered, watching closely for any change in the man's face. There wasn't any. It looked like being opposed with a captain didn't bother him at all. "And who are you? Labelling your container correctly is an important matter"

"Zanon, sorry, aint got no fancy title to tell ya, just Zanon"

"Well, Zanon, it will be a pleasure to have you as my project" Mayuri let a grin spread on his face. The other man scoffed.

"I aint gonna be no one's pet" he almost growled. It looked as if Mayuri was finally getting to him.

"Not pet, parse, just-"

Mayuri didn't get to finish his sentence. A large arm swept up from the side and hit him in the stomach. His eyes widened as he was sent flying backwards. He landed on the wet road heavily. Calmly, he stood.

"Hmm, your speed is acceptable, and strength is decently high. I wonder if you-"

Again Mayuri was cut off. Zanon was in front of him, his hand around Mayuri's neck. Mayuri didn't seem phased.

"Then again, your speed may be something worth investigating" he considered to himself. Zanon growled. He lifted his arm and in turn Mayuri's feet left the ground.

"You aint investigating nobody" Zanon whispered darkly. His expression only got angrier when Mayuri's lips turned upwards into a small smile. "What you smiling 'bout?"

Mayuri didn't answer vocally. Instead he only continued to smile.

Zanon immediately let go at the sharp pain in his side and Mayuri landed on his feet on the ground. Zanon's hands went to where the pain was coming from in his ribs. Mayuri watched with satisfaction as he slowly pulled out a thin metal spike. A small splash of blood left his chest but stopped quickly. Zanon lifted the spike to his face and inspected it closely.

"Ya speed aint bad yaself" he said. A grin spread across his face and he leisurely ran his tongue along the blood stained metal, licking up the coppery liquid that had only just been inside him. "Mmm, I taste good"

Mayuri had just about had enough of his playing. It was time to make things a bit easier.

"Kakimushire, Ashisogi Jizo"

His zanpaktou transformed into the golden trident that he had become so attached to over the years. Zanon blinked. So this was that power Shinigami had.

Mayuri flash-stepped behind him and made to plunge his zanpaktou into his back, severing the nerves to the limbs and paralysing Zanon completely. It would have worked if Zanon hadn't seen it coming and dodged the attack. He jumped sideways and turned to face Mayuri.

Mayuri realised that his zanpaktou had not met flesh and quickly recovered. He brought his zanpaktou across, this time aiming for Zanon's arm. His missed by an inch as Zanon leapt into the air. Mayuri spun around in time to see him land on all fours on the hard ground. A small crack appeared in the concrete where Zanon's feet had hit it.

"Looks like I was wrong" Zanon looked at him smirking, "it seems ya speed is bad after all"

Mayuri narrowed his eyes. He feigned an attack to the left. Zanon fell for it and moved to the right, only succeeding in bringing Mayuri's zanpaktou further into his shoulder. He jumped backwards and fell.

"Then I suppose it's a good thing I'm fighting someone even slower" Mayuri teased. He stepped forwards. Zanon took a step backwards in response. He looked down at his arm.

"What have ya done?" he roared at the blue-haired captain. No matter how hard he tried, his right arm would not move. It was as if a heavy weight was holding it down. His muscled refused to lift it. This was not good.

"You should really research your opponents before attacking them" Mayuri said. Zanon bared his teeth. Those canines were definitely more pronounced than they had been. "Ashisogi Jizo has a useful effect. It secretes a venom that, when is stabbed into my victim, severs the neural impulses that control movement of that limb. The funny thing is..."

Mayuri darted forwards and slashed Zanon's lower right arm. Zanon leapt backwards in pain.

"... it effects only the impulses connected to movement. There is no loss in pain" he explained.

Zanon clenched his left fist, the only fist which he could. Mayuri watched with interest as the colour in his eyes swirled and changed from deep green to amber. The pupil was now a slit of black against a completely yellow background. No white could be seen.

"Hmm, you are interesting" he remarked casually. Zanon jumped forwards in rage. Mayuri held Ashisogi Jizo in front of him and expected to hear the sickly inviting sound of it plummeting into his opponent's ribcage. When no such sound came his eyes widened. Zanon had disappeared.

Suddenly, an arm was wrapped around his neck from behind.

Zanon held Mayuri in a death lock. The muscles in his arm contracted and squeezed Mayuri's windpipe. Mayuri let out a gasp as he felt the bones in his neck crack oddly.

"Don't call me interesting" Zanon whispered into the holes where Mayuri's ears should have been. Mayuri adjusted his grip on his zanpaktou.

"Ban... kai..."

---------------------------------------------------------------

"Kya-san?" Orihime whispered in surprise. Kya stepped forwards and squatted in front of Orihime on the cold concrete.

"What are you doing?" she asked. Her eyebrows were furrowed slightly in confusion.

"I.. uh.. nothing!" Orihime stuttered nervously, waving her hands in front of her face. Kya obviously didn't believe her, but left it at that. Instead she reached out and took one of Orihime's hands in her own. She inspected the palm closely.

"You're hurt" she stated. Orihime blinked and looked. Her hands were covered in many tiny scratches and were red. The top layer of skin had been ripped off.

"Oh" she said only just realising it herself, "it must have happened when I fell"

"Does it hurt?" Kya asked, running a finger along Orihime's palm. Orihime was taken slightly off guard with her tone. She sounded... concerned. Why would she be concerned about her? Why was she concerned about a burden?

"No! I'm fine! Don't worry about me!" Orihime said with a fake smile plastered to her face. Kya looked her in the eyes disbelievingly. Orihime swallowed. Kya sighed and let her hands go.

"Alright" she said before standing upright again. She held a hand out expectantly. Orihime took it and pulled herself up. Orihime looked at her. Her hair had come down in the rain and the purple strands fell over her shoulders. She wasn't even shuddering as the freezing liquid hit her bare arms. Orihime wished she could do the same. She held her arms across her chest in an attempt to warm herself.

"You're cold, get inside" Kya told her. Orihime shook her head.

"No... I can't... I need to... need... I was..." she stammered. She hung her head and stared at a small pool of water that had collected on the ground. Ripples echoed whenever another raindrop hit it.

"Ok" Orihime looked up surprised at Kya's soft voice. She nodded. The orange-haired girl just watched as she turned and started walking away.

"Kya-san" she called after. Kya paused and turned her head to look at the girl. "Um, if you don't mind me asking, are you not fighting?"

"No"

"Oh, ok then" Orihime stumbled with her words. She raised an eyebrow at Kya. "Why not?"

Kya was silent. She looked up into the rain as if the sky was the most interesting thing in the world. She fluently brought her head back to its normal angle and turned it back around so that she was no longer looking at Orihime. She started walking away again. Orihime stared silently as she made her way down the street.

The heavy drumbeat of the rain hitting the ground almost prevented Orihime from hearing her exiting words.

"Everyone has their weaknesses"

---------------------------------------------------------------

**Ok, first thing first... I'M SORRY FOR CRAPITUDE! PLEEAASE FORGIVE ME!!**

**Ahem**

**Anyways, on to more important matters... **

**Gandalf IS smexy!... when you've had a couple of drinks and you see a poster of him on your friends ceiling...**

**That reminds me, my ceiling looks tasty. I want to lick it. I actually do. Is there something wrong with a girl wanting to lick her ceiling?! Is there?! It's a pretty shiny black colour and looks like liquorice. Ok now I really want to lick it. This is weird. No, I'm not high... at least I think I'm not...**

**Rhea and I are now doubly divorced. I got the cars, and the house, and the cats, and everything else. Coz I rule. Then rhea left me all alone! And after she told me about her crying every night because life is hollow without me! Usually I'd just laugh at her... but now I wail in lost hope! Come back to me rhea! Come back!**

**...and it was my idea to get divorced again... I should really think things through more often**

**Today my friend Phi reminded me of our first real bonding session. We were in a 'supervised revision period' (not actually supervised) last year. It was funny coz we were just mcking around. At one point she said 'Rose, go away, I'm trying to learn the eye' and I leaned forward as if it were a secret and went 'Well get this, the eye is SHIT'. There was something else about yellow pens but neither of us can remember. Whatever, it was jks at the time.**

**Reviews  
****Are like poos  
****Covered in glue  
****... when u sniff it you go all funny hehehe**

**I can rhyme too, didn't'cha know?**


	58. Ripples

**Sorry taking so long, but I've got mock exams for my GCSE next week, meaning extra work and revision. So next week it may be slow again. I'll try to get one up before my exams and maybe one or two through them, but don't quote me on that. To make up for it though, this one's extra extra long.**

**Chapter 57 : Ripples**

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"Matsumoto!"

Hitsugaya's eyes widened as he realised what was happening around him. Kira was hurled across the roof and into a wall on the other side. His body fell to the ground, unconscious.

"Well, that was easier than expected"

Hitsugaya brought his gaze back to the thing responsible for Kira's sudden departure to lala land. He was smiling smugly while looking at the crumpled body on the ground. The rain hammered down and made his light blonde hair glisten in the little light there was.

Hisagi jumped forwards, zanpaktou at the ready.

Blondie looked at him amused and blinked.

"What?" he asked innocently. Hisagi didn't take kindly to this. He charged full force at the smiling creature.

"Shuhei, no!" Matsumoto shouted. Hisagi didn't stop. He was about to reach Blondie and pierce his heart onto the zanpaktou. Blondie yawned and stepped to the side. Hisagi noticed too late. He tripped over the outstretched foot and plummeted onto the concrete. Matsumoto gasped when she saw the trickle of blood oozing out of where his head had connected with the hard ground. He didn't move.

"God, I thought Shinigami were meant to be smart" the creature remarked more to himself than the others. Hitsugaya stood and narrowed his turquoise eyes at the fool. "Oh well, guess I'll just have to take you all out then"

"Dai," Hitsugaya's attention was distracted at the new voice. He noticed for the first time the dark skinned girl sitting casually on the wall to the roof. Her voice was rich and alluring, her dark hair falling down her back sleekly. She wasn't even looking at them. Her gaze was on something else in the street below that appeared much more interesting than this scene. "Don't get ahead of yourself"

"Ooh, but Risa, I wanna play!" The thing whose name appeared to be Dai whined. Risa turned her head. She stared at Dai coldly. His smile faltered at the orange spheres that told of nothing but icy detachment. "But- but- but-"

"Risa's right. Rule one of combat; never underestimate your opponent" Another man stepped out of the shadows. His dark skin and hair matched Risa's perfectly, but his eyes were green instead of orange. Muscles bulged underneath his sodden shirt and his arms were crossed.

Dai looked down at the ground disappointed.

Finally, Renji spoke up through the bizarre silence that had taken hold.

"Who the bloody hell are you?" he yelled in a vague direction of any of the three things. They all looked at each other. Dai sighed.

"Good evening, my name is Dai" he started reciting sounding depressed as if he had been forced to learn this speech, "this is my acquaintance Risa and her brother Raidon. It is a pleasure to meet you. And what would your names be?"

Renji blinked. Hitsugaya followed suit. Matsumoto stared strangely at Dai. He reminded her profoundly of someone she once knew.

"Well?" Dai asked impatiently

"Hitsugaya Toshiro, captain of the tenth division of the thirteen protection squads" Hitsugaya answered calmly. Dai's eyes widened briefly. Risa went back to staring at the street. Raidon didn't move at all.

"Ooo! I found myself a captain! Aren't I clever?" Dai said excitedly. Risa sighed faintly. He ignored her and turned to Matsumoto "And who might you be, my big-breasted friend?"

"Matsumoto Rangiku, lieutenant of the tenth division" she said coldly, ignoring Dai's comment about her ample assets. Dai grinned. He opened his mouth to say something else but was cut off by Renji.

"Abarai Renji, lieutenant of the sixth division" he bustled in. He was slightly annoyed with being ignored up until now. Usually his hair or eyebrows got people's attention. But these guys didn't even seem to care.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever" Dai dismissed him and walked further towards Matsumoto. She swiftly drew her zanpaktou and held it in front of her.

"Unare, Haineko"

Her zanpaktou vanished as it changed into its shikai state. Ash swirled up into the air and slashed down at Dai. He placed his fingers to his cheek where he felt warm blood. The cut was small, definitely a warning. Dai laughed.

"Oh, and I was going to treat you like a lady!" he mocked "Guess I'll have to settle for a bit of combat fun instead"

He jumped towards Matsumoto. Renji started to make his way to help her. He was stopped when a fist connected with his face. He collapsed onto the floor. When he looked up he saw Raidon towering over him, his eyes were as impassive as ever. Renji quickly stood and faced him. He drew his zanpaktou.

Matsumoto jumped out of the way just in time as Dai lunged at her. Haineko swept around and sliced at his back. It would have been fatal if he hadn't moved at the last moment.

Hitsugaya turned his head away and looked at Risa. His eyes were met with her own, piercing into his mind.

"I suppose you expect me to fight you?" she asked him sounding a little bored already.

"Are you not going to?" he in turn asked. A small smile tugged at her lips. She stood and walked towards him. When they were a meter apart she stopped. He heard Renji shout Zabimaru's command in the background, but didn't really care. He was certain that the two lieutenants could deal with those two. He was more concerned with the woman in front of him.

"I haven't decided yet" she told him. She took another step forwards. Hitsugaya stepped backwards and drew Hyourinmaru in defence. The smile on Risa's face vanished. "Well, I suppose that makes up my mind for me, doesn't it?"

Hitsugaya turned just in time to see Risa try to attack him from behind. He dodged the blow and slashed with his zanpaktou. She received a small cut on her arm, hardly anything compared to what he had been aiming for. Risa crouched on the ground. She looked at Hitsugaya and growled. Hitsugaya saw the canines. It was them.

She jumped at him aiming her claw-like nails at his neck. He swatted her away with his sword but not quick enough that he didn't receive a nasty gash to his shoulder. Before he had time to recover she was behind him again. She lifted her arm and brought her hand down against his head. The swipe succeeded in knocking him to the ground. It didn't take long for him to recover and soon he stood facing her again.

"Soten ni zase, Hyourinmaru!"

A great Chinese dragon made of ice rushed from Hyourinmaru's tip. Risa's eyes widened slightly at the force coming towards her. She moved. A split second later and she would have been frozen completely. As it was, only her left foot was trapped under the weight of ice.

She pulled with all her force. The ice cracked. Her foot was free.

She went after his neck again. He managed to block it. Then he realised that she had not been aiming for his neck at all. The opposite hand to the one he had just forced away from his neck swung and connected with his back. He let out a yelp of pain as he felt her nails dig further into his skin. He tried to strike at her with his zanpaktou. She only grabbed his arm and stopped the movement.

She grasped hold of the skin on his back and started pulling upwards. Hitsugaya gritted his teeth as he felt his feet leave the ground.

His and Renji's cries screamed forth in sync with the other.

"Bankai!"

--------------------------------------------------------------

She stopped.

She gasped.

The figure turned.

Nanao stared at the person in the middle of the road. He looked at her calmly. His deep blue eyes swirled when they connected with her own gaze. A small glimmer of red could be seen in them. Nanao took a step back.

"You're one of them, aren't you?" she asked. Her voice came out a lot quieter than she had hoped for. She cursed herself at her own lack of nerves.

The man didn't answer. He continued to stare at Nanao. She gulped at the dangerous look in his eyes. There was something about him. He looked human on the surface, but the air he was giving off suggested otherwise. It was something strange. Something feral.

She collected her nerves together. This was no time to be tense. She had to think about this.

She could run, but it was likely the thing would catch up with her easily. Or she could fight. She wasn't the strongest Shinigami, but she was certain she could at least do some damage to him. She didn't really have much choice. She decided on a course of action.

She stepped forwards.

He remained where he was, no expression on his face other than those terrifying eyes.

"Ise Nanao, lieutenant of the eighth division of the thirteen protection squads." She said in the most courageous voice she could muster. She adjusted her glasses and waited to see the man's response. He didn't move. Nanao took another step towards him.

She hesitated briefly. He wasn't attacking. Was he planning something else? Would it be morally correct to attack when he wasn't? But it was her duty to assassinate as many of these creatures as she could. She couldn't ignore her duty.

She reached into her sleeve. He cocked his head to the side when he saw her pulling out a small dagger-like sword.

"I'm afraid to inform you that it is my orders to eliminate your kind." She told him clearly, "If you refuse to fight then I may take you back to Seireitei unharmed so that they can decide what will become of you there"

A tiny smile crossed the man's lips at this.

Nanao faltered upon seeing it. She didn't see what was so funny.

"What is your name?" she asked. His smile disappeared but he said nothing in reply. Nanao waited patiently. When it became obvious this man was not going to talk her gaze hardened. "Then I am sorry that you may not be identified correctly in Seireitei"

She drew her zanpaktou. The silver of the small sword glimmered under the heavy rainfall. She took another step forwards.

The man waited. Another step. It was enough.

Nanao blinked when she realised that the man was no longer in front of her. He had vanished from sight.

She gasped when she felt an arm coil around her neck from behind and a hand placed under her jaw. She felt his strength echoing off of him. It was as if her neck would snap in half if he squeezed it.

He sniffed at her hair. Nanao didn't move but looked forwards into the pouring rain. His face got closer to hers. He sniffed her neck. She felt the moist warmth as he slowly licked the lobe of her ear.

Fear paralysed her. She couldn't do anything.

"Nanao!"

Her head jerked upwards to see who had just called her name. Shunsui fell gracefully from the sky, his twin zanpaktou at the ready. Nanao recovered from her daze and acted.

The creature jumped backwards at the pain in his leg. Nanao turned just in time to see him remove her zanpaktou from his thigh. Blood spurted out oddly as he discarded the dagger to the edge of the road. It landed with an odd clinking noise. The creature turned his head and stared at her.

Those eyes, those horrifying eyes, were no longer blue. Red and purple swirled around in their depths and a large black pupil took hold. He growled in frustration.

Shunsui landed beside Nanao. He looked at the creature. Nanao was taken aback by the look on his face. Never had she seen him so serious and determined.

"I do not like fighting, but no one touches my Nanao-chan like that and gets away with it"

"_Your_ Nanao-chan?" Nanao asked furiously. Her glasses glinted in her rage. Shunsui turned to her and smiled.

"Is that how you thank me after my amazing rescue?" he said happily. Nanao hit him with the nearest object she could find. Shunsui winced as the rock landed heavily on his head. "Oow! Nanao-chan!"

"I am not Nanao-_chan_!"

The creature watched the scene with a surprised expression on his face. This wasn't what he had expected to find when confronted by two Shinigami. In fact, he was slightly worried by the whole thing. It just wasn't normal.

But, on the other hand, neither of them seemed to be paying attention to him anymore. That was good. It meant he could-

Shunsui shoved Nanao out of the way and pointed one of Katen Kyoukotsu's blades at the beast's neck. He had been trying to sneak up on them. Shunsui didn't like sneaks.

"I suppose it can't be helped then" he said sombrely.

A flowery pink haori fluttered through the air, carried by a fresh gust of wind.

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"Well, well, well, look what I found 'ere"

Zaraki looked at the source of the scream. The girl was dropped and her body crumpled onto the muddy ground. The light brown haired man turned his face to Zaraki. Zaraki noticed the maimed state of the girl's flesh. This was obviously what he had been looking for.

"And who are you?" the brown haired man asked rudely, his eyes switching from purple or a more normal looking grey colour. He was upset that his fun had been ruined by the large man with the eye-patch.

"Zaraki Kenpachi, you might wanna remember it, might be nice knowing who killed ya'" Zaraki replied with a cruel grin. The man let out a scoff that sounded more like a growl than anything else. "I don't particularly care 'bout your name, but you can tell me if ya' want"

"Juro" the creature told him. His back was hunched and his hands were twitching at his side. It was as if he expected Zaraki was going to attack him then and there. Zaraki laughed at the sight.

"You're a bit edgy, aren't ya?" Juro didn't like being mocked, and he was certain that was what Zaraki was doing. The rain thundered down the narrow alley and splashed onto the dirt ground, coating it in mud which flicked back up onto their legs. Juro's long hair was tied back, but even so he felt as if the few loose strands would get in his eyes in this weather. His eyes flickered to the bleeding body of the girl. She was still breathing faintly. She had a surprisingly high will to live for a whore.

Zaraki watched Juro carefully. He was nervous, and angry, but he could certainly put up a good fight if he wanted to. Zaraki liked that thought. Maybe he could have some fun tonight after all.

"Are you going to attack me or not, Shinigami scum?" Juro shouted.

"Ken-chan likes sizing up his victims first!" Juro spun around at the voice. Hanging from a nearby fire escape by her ankles was a small girl, bright pink hair and smiling crazily. "Yay! Ken-chan found a playmate!"

Juro's mouth flapped open and closed like a fish. This little girl was the oddest person he had ever seen. Yachiru swung around and landed on her feet on the fire escape.

"Go on Ken-chan! Get him!" she said over-happily. Zaraki drew his zanpaktou. The unnamed blade swept through the air and Juro only just managed to jump out of the way in time. Juro didn't have time to think before the blade came after him again. He dodged the attack to the left and Zaraki cut to the right.

A small gash opened up on his lower arm.

Zaraki frowned. Maybe this wouldn't be a challenge after all.

He sliced his zanpaktou at Juro's neck. If this wasn't going to be fun then he might as well get it over with quickly. He was surprised when he didn't feel his zanpaktou connect with anything. Juro had successfully dodged it. Zaraki felt a fist plummet into his skull. He was knocked off balance for a second by its strength. Juro took this as an opening and dived at Zaraki's neck, canines flashing dangerously in the rain. Zaraki batted him away with his arm, but managed to receive a nasty bite-like wound where his arm had hit the man.

Juro fell against the ground hard after being swatted away. He scrambled to his feet and crouched, eyeing Zaraki treacherously. The purple had returned to his eyes now as the anger of a brawl took hold of him. The excitement pulsed through his veins. He could smell the blood from his arm still leaking faintly. He snarled in anticipation.

Zaraki lifted his head into the air and laughed.

In the end, this was going to be fun.

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Getsuga Tensho roared through the air, its lightning blue shape carving its way towards the opponent. Ichigo watched as his attack struck the target. He sighed in relief. No way could they still be alive after that hit.

Hitomi smirked upon seeing Ichigo's expression when the smoke from the blast cleared. She had deflected the blow easily. Her arm was only slightly singed.

Ichigo gaped. This wasn't right. People didn't just block his attacks with their bare flesh! They should at least have a sword or something.

Hitomi took her chance. She hurried towards Ichigo. Her silver blue hair was too short to be of any bother to her; it barely reached her jaw line, and even then the rain made it stay put behind her ears.

Ichigo swiped with Zangetsu as he saw her approaching. She dodged his first attack and weaved her way through his next. Ichigo managed to block her fist with his zanpaktou but didn't see the foot coming. He lost his balance and crumpled into the air holding on to the delicate part of his anatomy that Hitomi had successfully blundered with her foot.

She stood back and held in the laughter that was threatening to take hold. Guys were so easy to beat.

Arrows rained down from the sky. Gorou darted out of their path and leapt into the sky. Ishida aimed Ginrei Kojaku again and fired. Gorou winced as he felt the skin on his shoulder being torn, but ignored the pain and continued towards his enemy.

Ishida's eyes widened briefly in shock at finding his opponent so fast.

Before he had time to re-aim his bow, Gorou was behind him. He raised his hand and brought it down forcefully on Ishida's head. Ishida lost his footing on the spirit particles in the air and started falling.

Rukia looked up and saw the white dot plunging towards where she was fighting.

"Ishida!" she called. She barely had enough time to dodge another of her adversary's attack before diving out of the way of the Quincy falling to earth.

Ichigo heard Rukia's cry and looked up through his tear soaked eyes. He gasped upon realising Ishida was crashing down to his almost certain death. He grasped Zangetsu tightly in front of him.

"Ban...kai!"

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"It is a pleasure to finally meet you... Kuchiki Byakuya"

Byakuya stared at the man opposite him, his face as calm as ever. The man had the same expression on his face. If it hadn't been for his hair being cut slightly shorter than Byakuya's, it would have been as if he was looking in a mirror. A mirror that happened to change your features faintly.

"I wish that the same could apply to me" Byakuya replied unemotionally. The man's expression didn't change.

"That is a shame to hear" he said "I suppose it is only polite for me to introduce myself. My name is Oumono Yajuu, and I have been looking forwards to meeting you for quite some time now"

"And why would that be?" Byakuya asked with the same cold gaze in his eyes. A small smile could be seen on Yajuu's lips.

"So I could do this"

Byakuya didn't have time to react. Yajuu moved faster than he could see. It surprised Byakuya to know that there were people that could be quicker than Yoruichi, but evidently from this man, there was.

He didn't have long to ponder this thought.

Pain ripped through his chest. His eyes widened as he felt something twist inside him.

Yajuu still had the faint smile on his face as he turned the dagger in his hands, driving it further between Byakuya's ribs.

Byakuya's eyes widened and he looked directly into the man's tranquil orbs. Yajuu gripped tightly and pulled the thin blade out of Byakuya's chest.

He fell onto his knees.

He looked up at the being that was so quick.

The smile was still there.

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Kya sat on the swing in the lonely park, swaying softly in the breeze.

Water hammered down from above and soaked her elegant form. She didn't care. Her mind was racing with other more important matters. If anything, the torrential rain only succeeded in washing some of those worries away, the cold stinging against her skin distracting her from the issue at hand. She was grateful for this.

The dark of the park echoed around her, its welcoming solitude inviting her to remain there forever. A lone street lamp shone in the background, casting a gentle yellow glow on her surroundings.

It was peaceful here. There wasn't anything to worry about.

Kya watched the ripples in a nearby puddle on the ground. Every time a droplet would fall from the sky another ripple would form. It was so irregular, so unpredictable where the next would fall. It fascinated Kya.

In the distance she could feel it. Their riatsu were blazing. They were obviously fighting with all their strength. It was comforting to know that others still remained to protect places like this. After all, she couldn't be there all the time. She couldn't handle some situations anyway. Like this one.

Kya knew Orihime was watching her. She had felt the girl follow her here, but didn't feel the need to try to stop her. She could watch all she liked; it wouldn't mean anything to Kya. As long as she stayed where she was hiding in the trees and didn't attempt to approach her it would be fine. Kya didn't feel like talking much at the moment.

Another circular ripple in the puddle.

Kya moved backwards and forwards on the children's swing.

Then it happened.

The crushing feeling underneath her left bosom. The monumental feeling of pain that clutched at her heart. The chains that constrained her chest and wouldn't let go.

She couldn't breathe.

She looked up with wide eyes and stared ahead of her. Suddenly she stood and flash-stepped towards the trees.

Orihime looked terrified when she felt Kya's hand wrap around her wrist. When Kya spoke it was in a hushed whisper that scared Orihime in its tone of nothing but fear.

"We need to go"

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**Wow, that was nearly 4000 words, which is something incredible for someone like me who usually only writes about 2000. **

**Ichigo's delicates were blundered, I particularly enjoyed writing that part. No, Rhea; Blundered, not Plundered. Only the mentally unstable would want to plunder that... Byakuya's on the other hand...**

**Me and rhea have made up. But I'm still sore about her cheating on our friendship with an American! She's mine! Mine I tell thee!**

**Byakuya and Mayuri are mammals, and do mammal things. Hehehe mammal's a naughty word, like poo, or Belgium. **

**Apparently, I have a thing for licking objects. Some animals piss on trees to show their possessions, I lick them. I think most of the bleach cast is incredibly lickable, especially Byakuya, Urahara, Gin and Mayuri. Komamura's a manly fox who I just want to pet. Ken-chan's just a big bear that I want to squeeze until he can no longer breathe. **

**Ken-chan has a big sword. But he aint compensating for nothing. He is a manly man and so doesn't need to compensate for any of his manly attributes. Byakuya is manly. Only the manliest of manly men could have a flowery zanpaktou and still be a manly man. He don't compensate for nothing. Ichigo does...**

**You know who else is a manly man? Clint Eastwood. He hits people with sticks and tells them not to play with matches while wearing a very cool coat. And he has a manly gruff voice and manly rugged stubble. Very manly.**

**Heta was acting odd at school today. She was sleep depraved from being up all night doing her textiles cwk and was very funny to watch. We were talking about something then said in the calmest voice ever 'Aint Panani Jamaican for a ding-dong?' ding-dong meaning naughty bits. It was hilarious because of her tone of voice being mature and her saying ding-dong. Usually she'd just shout out vagina really loudly. She also chose to interrupt all our conversations to announce as if it was the most important thing in the world 'Guys! I'm tired!' It was a revelation for us all and now we all see the world differently. **

**Rhea says she aint a bin either...**

**Now review you awesome person!**


	59. Failing Strength

**See? Told you I'd get one out before my exams. Aren't I clever? Well, yes I am. Thank you for agreeing with me.**

**Another long one today, that makes me even more clever. I am a genius... to some people...**

**Chapter 58 : Failing strength**

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He fell onto his knees.

He looked up at the being that was so quick.

The smile was still there.

Yajuu stepped back and gave room for Byakuya to collapse further so he was lying on the ground. He could smell the warm crimson liquid pouring out of the wound in his chest and mixing with the rain on the sidewalk. He could hear his heartbeat growing more irrational. He could sense his strength lessening. He could see he was still holding onto life, willing it to stay within him.

Byakuya didn't move.

The feeling of the blood leaving his body was familiar to him, and yet now it was so much stronger, so much more forceful. With every red drop that hit the ground he felt his muscles weakening. It felt strange, unnatural. Blood shouldn't be outside a body.

He was growing cold. It started at the tips of his fingers and toes, then slowly made its icy way up his limbs towards his torso. The pain of the wound was nothing compared to the numbing cold.

Then it hit him.

He was dying.

He couldn't die here. Not by the hand of someone for reasons he did not even know. Not without saying goodbye. He had to hold onto what little strength he had. He had to concentrate on the things vital to survive. He focused on his heartbeat and on his breathing. He would save them. It didn't matter what happened to the rest of his body. It could be healed. But not his heartbeat. Once that stopped, it was over. It couldn't be over.

"Why are you so keen on living?"

He heard Yajuu crouch down beside his body. He felt his questioning gaze on the back of his head. Byakuya didn't answer the question. He didn't even know if he could with the remaining strength he had. But even if he did, he wouldn't have tried.

Yajuu sighed above him. He held the thin golden dagger in his hands and twirled it around by the hilt. He was growing tired with the situation already.

"Oh well, I suppose I'll just have to quicken the process then" he said wearily. Byakuya was fading between blackness and the red stained concrete below him. He didn't hear the words properly. He knew time was running out for him.

Yajuu used the tip of the dagger to pull the sodden strands of Byakuya's hair away from his neck. He looked at the pale skin, analysing the best place to end this quickly. He placed the sliver of gold above the chosen spot. He just had to drop it, and Byakuya would surely die immediately.

Byakuya felt something cold on the back of his neck. His thoughts were too confused to recognise what it was. The cold had reached the edges of his chest now. It wouldn't be long.

Yajuu played with the idea of plunging the cold shining metal into Byakuya's throat. He did enjoy the feeling he got when seeing the breath finally leaving a person's body. The knowledge that it was their last seemed to comfort him somewhat. But then again, the longer this took, the more chance there was that he would be stopped. Being stopped wasn't an option.

He watched the rain land on the glistening dagger. The trident shaped handle, the thin blade of cutting sharpness. The clear liquid splashed against it and washed traces of it being inside Byakuya away. Every drop of faintly red fluid that fell from the needle tip landed softly on the back of his neck. It was so easy.

A crack ran through the air.

The dagger disappeared from Yajuu's hands.

Yajuu turned his head to where the sound had come from. There, in the grey wall of the nearest building, was embedded a silver strip of metal. The dagger had been driven in full force in the stone and reflected the light when it struck. From it, hanging by the trident shaped handle, swung the golden blade. It clinked against the wall as it swayed.

"You shouldn't have done that"

Yajuu removed his gaze from the two daggers and placed it on the speaker. A small smile crossed his lips.

"My dear, what a pleasure it is to see you again" he spoke calmly as he stood upright once more. Kya stared back, her face placid, but her eyes presenting nothing but rage. Yajuu saw them flicker briefly to Byakuya's form on the ground.

"Orihime" she said sternly. Yajuu saw the young girl behind her. She looked terrified. She had a right to be.

"Yes, Kya-san?" she whispered in a voice that sounded as if it had been choked out. Kya only nodded at Byakuya. Orihime understood and ran over to him. Yajuu didn't stop her as she knelt down beside him and rolled him over.

Kya's heart faltered. He was so pale, almost ghost-like. She turned her attention away from the body spattered with crimson. She couldn't look at it. He was still alive; she could feel his heartbeat; but scarcely. What if they were too late? What if Orihime couldn't do anything for him?

An orange glow formed over his chest. Kya tried to ignore it and returned her stare to Yajuu. He was watching her with interest in his eyes.

"I wonder," he said gently, "what is going on inside that pretty little head of yours?"

Kya didn't say anything. Yajuu took a step towards her. She instinctively took a step back. Yajuu stopped. His questioning gaze only increased.

"Aren't you happy to see me, my dear?" he asked politely. He watched Kya's eyes carefully. It was the only hint he had as to what she was feeling. Anger swirled behind the calm surface, but more importantly, he saw something else. It was just a trace, but a trace nonetheless.

Fear.

He turned and went over to the wall of the nearest building. He unhooked the golden dagger from the silver one and held it in his hand once more. He turned his head back to Kya. She was still standing there, just watching him.

"I suppose you will be wanting this back?" he asked indicating the silver blade embedded in the wall. He got no reply. Nevertheless, he reached down and tugged the strip out of the stone. It was cold in his hands. The smooth metal hilt had no adornments. It was as if the blade had simply been elongated and the edges smoothed out. It reflected the light so keenly that it almost shone. He turned it over in his hands. It felt heavy and uneven to him. How could Kya wield these things so well?

He walked a few paces towards her and threw it rapidly through the air. Kya reached her hand up and caught it by the hilt. She made it look so easy. She hadn't even been watching the blade as it came towards her. Her eyes were still fixed on his. It was bizarre, and yet, Yajuu couldn't imagine her doing anything else.

She lowered her arm and brought the blade to her side. The orange glow from where Orihime was struggling to save Byakuya still reached the edges of her vision. She blocked it out.

She spun on the spot to face Yajuu who had appeared behind her. Silver struck gold as she blocked his attempt of an attack. He pressed the blade down onto the silver ones that were held in front of her face. The one he had passed back to her was in her right, an identical one now in her left, forming a cross in the air to prevent the golden blade from hitting her. Yajuu removed his weight from the attack and stepped backwards.

Kya lowered the blades. Yajuu stared at them. Her zanpaktou had always intrigued him. If having a double blade wasn't rare enough, she had to have strange blades on top of that. He knew zanpaktou were representative of their master's strength. In that case, Kya must have been hiding her strength pretty well. These delicate daggers were no where near her capabilities as a fighter.

He spun the golden dagger around his finger by the handle, looking completely casual as he did. A roll of thunder echoed above them. Neither Kya nor Yajuu seemed to notice, although Orihime's gasp of surprise was evident even from where they stood. Yajuu watched Kya's face for any sign of emotion. Droplets of water splashed against her features and ran down the pale skin. Tresses of purple hair were fused in the moisture to her cheeks. Her blue eyes were calm.

He sighed.

"Let's just finish this, shall we?" he asked Kya tiredly. Was he mistaken, or did he just feel Kya's heartbeat skip? If he did, then it was only for a second. Nevertheless, it was a sign of her feelings.

Kya stepped backwards and parried the blow to her throat with one of the silver blades. Yajuu withdrew the golden one and struck again, this time aiming for her shoulder. She only brought the other half of her zanpaktou up to block it. She noticed the arm just in time.

Yajuu pulled his hand away quickly at the small stinging sensation there. He felt a trickle of warm liquid leave his forearm where she had successfully swiped it away from her stomach.

He moved behind her, definitely faster than the eye could see. He was met with a flash of silver as she twirled around and sliced at his shoulder. He moved out of the way just before the metal struck. Kya sliced again at the opposite shoulder. He brought his hand up and caught her arm before she managed to cut him. He held onto her arm tightly, refusing to let go. She used her free hand to bring a dagger up to his eye-level. He in turn used his free hand to block the attack with his own dagger.

The two metal blades pressed against each other as each tried to over power their opponent. Yajuu didn't let go off his grip on her arm and she placed her fingers around his own elbow. They were caught. Neither agreed to let go of their hold or lighten their weight on the blades. They stared at the other's eyes, watching to see any traces of movement.

Instantaneously, they both let go and jumped backwards.

Yajuu looked at Kya with curiosity in his eyes.

"Come now, why so weak today?" he asked. He could feel the rhythm of her heart thumping in her chest. It was irregular, breathless, as if she had been fighting for over an hour already. She didn't reply. Yajuu saw the faint movement of the muscles on her throat as she swallowed.

Could that be the reason?

He sniffed the air to confirm his suspicions. He returned his stare to Kya. A smile tugged at his lips.

"Fear" he growled quietly, "you stink of it"

Kya rushed forwards at the words. She attacked with the right. Yajuu blocked with the dagger. She swung her left arm around and slashed at his back. He felt the pain as it cut through flesh but didn't flinch. He used his free hand to knock her away. She flew through the air and landed lightly on her feet a good five meters away as she squatted on the wet ground. She stood and readied for the next attack. It wasn't fast enough.

She felt the arms wrap around her from behind. Yajuu held her around the middle, securing her arms by her side with one hand. The other cut off her breathing slightly as he bound her neck in the elbow. Kya's eyes widened slightly. Her heart quickened. Her breathing increased.

She couldn't move. Her mind was panicking. She should have been able to kill him, but instead that doubt plagued her thoughts and only caused her to falter in the battle. Her strength was weakened by it. That fear, why couldn't it leave?

Yajuu leaned his head over her shoulder and placed his lips to her ear.

"Do you know what I'm going to do?" he whispered darkly. Kya gulped. She could see Orihime in front of her. She still held that orange shield over Byakuya's body. Kya couldn't tell if it was working or not. She started shaking as more panic consumed her. She heard Yajuu's voice in her ear, full of sadistic malice. "I'm going to make you squirm. You will plead me to kill you instead of continuing. The pain will be overbearing. The tears will flow freely and won't stop. I dare say your body won't even be recognisable by the end of it."

He stroked the thumb of the arm holding her neck down her cheek. Her body wouldn't stop shaking. Tears were starting to threaten their way out of her eyes. She pushed them down. She couldn't cry. Not because of him.

"And then, when you're barely breathing, when you're forced to hold onto life by the last thread," Yajuu lowered his voice further adding more danger to it, "you're going to watch as I kill them"

Kya eyes widened fully. They flickered over to where Orihime was bent over Byakuya. She understood the threat.

Yajuu continued in a more casual voice.

"Of course, the girl will die first. She's weak and of no importance. And the boy will be next. I'll bleed his pretty little body dry. You'll watch as his skin grows cold, as that shiny black hair becomes dull, as he takes his last breath. And you'll be far too weak to stop m-"

Yajuu let go and stumbled backwards. He looked down and clutched his thigh where a silver sliver was embedded. He pulled the dagger out of his leg and blood spurted forth oddly. He returned his eyes to Kya. She was facing him defensively, breathing hard. In one hand she held a knife. The other was empty. Yajuu realised that what it should have been holding was now in his own hands. She had stabbed him. And he had been too slow to react.

Kya's eyes flashed with anger. Yajuu hesitated upon realising that the fear was gone. She wasn't afraid anymore. If she was, then her rage was overpowering it.

He stepped forwards. His knee buckled slightly from loosing some of its blood supply. He didn't care if he could walk or not, he would finish this.

He leapt towards her. She raised the knife in defence. He could knock it aside easily. Another few meters and he would have her throat in his jaws.

He stopped.

The air felt different. Kya knew it too. Both looked off to the side. Yajuu sniffed.

Kya turned her head to him again. He appeared to be concentrating, debating with himself inside his head. He looked at her briefly. He had made up his mind.

He jumped into the air and landed on the roof of the building behind Kya. He disappeared from sight. Kya searched for any sign he was still there. She found none. He had left to deal with that, dropping the silver dagger behind him on the concrete.

Kya started shaking again. The rage was slowly exiting her body, leaving nothing but the fear and confusion. She had to struggle to move. Her muscles weren't listening to her anymore. All they wanted was to collapse right here and never get up again. Kya couldn't do that.

She ran over to Orihime and crumpled onto her knees beside where Byakuya was lying. She stared at his face, so much paler than usual. She placed her palm to his cheek, just wanting to touch him. She gasped at the lack of warmth she found there. Somehow, her eyes found their way to his chest, now stained a deep red colour with his own blood. The colour was distorted through the orange shield, but Kya could see it nonetheless. The wound was still there, although it may have been smaller than it had been to begin with. Kya turned her head to the girl sitting opposite her.

Orihime had her eyes closed. She was concentrating with all her mind.

Kya looked down again at Byakuya. She removed her hand from his face and replaced it on her lap.

The rain hammered down around them, the sound echoing in their minds. The grey of the concrete blurred with that of the storm clouds above. Even the colour of Kya's red dress seemed duller. The only colour was coming from the shield, casting a glow down the street.

Kya lowered her head and let sodden hair fall in front of her face. Her body shook uncontrollably as her mind rushed with panic-stricken thoughts.

The tears had fought valiantly against her repression, and now, finally, they had won.

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Mayuri sheathed his zanpaktou again. Disposing of the creature had been sufficiently simple. Although, he would have been happier if he had been able to keep him alive for some tests. Zanon had been too weak. It only took a small amount of Konjiki Ashisogi Jizo's breath and he had fallen to the ground, dead from the poisonous fumes.

Mayuri glanced at the still body on the ground.

"Nemu" he called to her on the side of the road where she had observed the battle from, "gather the specimen. It would be useful to have something to show for this assessment other than my survival"

"Yes Kurotsuchi-sama" she said quickly before rushing over to Zanon's crumpled form. She started preparing the body to be moved.

Mayuri turned away and pulled the tracking device out again. He pressed some buttons on it and the small screen came to life. He analysed what it was showing him.

"The threat has been dealt with" he informed Nemu who was struggling to hoist the heavy man up onto her back behind him. "Only two of the creatures are still alive and they are being eliminated presently"

Nemu stumbled under the weight of the deceased body as she tried to walk to her captain. He didn't seem to notice her troubles.

"Where shall we go now, Kurotsuchi-sama?" she asked quietly after regaining her footing. She made it the enormous distance of a few meters to Mayuri's side. He shut the device and placed it in his pocket.

"We should return to the church. That is surely where the others will re-emerge" he said as he started walking down the street. Nemu struggled to keep up with him, despite him walking perfectly calmly. Zanon's feet dragged on the ground behind her and she had to use most of her strength to simply stay upright.

Mayuri stopped.

He turned swiftly to face a surprised Nemu again. He looked angry.

"Where the hell is my mask?!"

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**There you are. Thought I'd add a bit of comedy at the end, just coz I've been missing it so much. It'll be back a bit amidst more angst in the next one, and some explanations.**

**I got a gold star in German the other day. I feel so special. Rhea got one too. Ok, ok, so it was an imaginary gold star given by a cover teacher and we only got it coz we filled our worksheets with crap that we made up. Still, a gold star is a gold star.**

**I'd never get a gold star in german if it was a normal lesson. After four and a half years I know about two words. I miss our old teacher. At the time I hated him, and he hated me. But now I see how lucky I was to have an eccentric austrian that didn't know how to control the class. Now I actually have to WORK! Work - in a lesson - it aint natural.**

**I like custard. I ate loads of custard today with my lunch. It was yummy. The one meal a week that my mum cooks, well, cook as in shove some ready made stuff into the oven and leave it for an hour. Still, it taste better than something she would have made herself. I'm the best cook in the family, and thats saying something.**

**If I spend a little time  
****To write a splendid rhyme  
****Full of my British ways,  
****Would you help out a chap  
****Before taking a nap  
****And review? Don't be a laze.**


	60. Pets

**Hey, long time no see. I've had exams this week, so sorry about the wait. Exams didn't give me a lot of time to write, especially since my method of revision means reading through the text book the night before the exam. But I tried, so here's the results.**

**I don't think it's that good but oh well.**

**Also, I think Gin goes well with anything, but me and Rhea have decided that the thing that goes best with Gin is ice cream and chocolate buttons. Quite delicious. Especially if he was in a bathtub...**

**Chapter 59 : Pets**

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Momo was the first to arrive back at the church. She hadn't come across anyone in her amazingly long journey up and down the road. She had meant to go on further, but couldn't for one simple reason. She got lost. She hadn't been able to keep up with Hitsugaya or his group and didn't like being on her own in a strange area. It was amazing how she had managed to gather the strength to return to the church without crumpling into a ball of tears.

Slowly after that others started to pile inside. Most either hadn't found anything themselves or had realised that others were taking care of it.

Mayuri had caused a bit of a stir when he showed his face, or more accurately a ripped up piece of cloth that looked suspiciously like his gigai's jacket wrapped around his face. Well, he would cause a stir wouldn't he? It's not every day when a large cloth monster steps through the door, a petite girl following him while dragging an equally large deceased body by the ankle. Nemu had given up on carrying Zanon properly and instead opted for the much easier ankle-pulling method.

People had gathered around the dead thing, wanting to inspect it and see what they had been up against.

When Mayuri warned them that there could still be traces of the poison around him they had immediately stepped away.

The next of the battle victims to return had been Zaraki. Despite the many bite-shaped wounds on his skin, he seemed surprisingly happy. Obviously, it had been an entertaining fight. He lost some of that happiness when Unohana offered to help his wounds. It was replaced by an odd stuttering awkwardness. Yachiru thought Ken-chan was acting funny.

Shunsui had stepped through the door elegantly, singing about he had protected his little Nanao-chan from harm once more. In the lack of a book, Nanao had opted for a chair. Shunsui whimpered and ran over to Joshiro to tell on Nanao.

Then there was Ichigo and his friends. A trickle of blood ran down his face from where his hairline would have been if he had hair. He looked beat up. Rukia didn't look much better. Ishida just looked as if he didn't know where he was.

Their wounds were seen to by Unohana and Isane. There wasn't anything major, part from Ishida's lack of memory of the fight. Apparently, he had blacked out half way during the fall and didn't wake up again until the three creatures were long since dead. Ichigo kept on reminding him of the fact.

Hitsugaya was the next to step through the door, shortly followed by Matsumoto and Renji. Renji was carrying a drugged looking Hisagi on his back. Matsumoto was carrying a blonde stick that on closer inspection turned out to be Kira over her shoulder. Each of them didn't appear at their best health-wise and were grateful when Unohana promised to treat them all. Kira's knocked out body was laid under a sheet of material on the side of the room. Hisagi was plopped down next to him and immediately zoned out. Head injuries apparently affect your body clock.

So four were missing.

The only ones to have not yet returned were Kya, Byakuya, Orihime and Komamura. No one knew where they were. Judging by the mood Kya had left in; people knew that she and Byakuya could be off anywhere. Komamura may have still been out searching. But Orihime? She wasn't even supposed to leave the church, but Joshiro had stated firmly that she had not returned after the others had left. Ichigo and Ishida were both not happy about this and spent their time arguing as to whose fault it was that she ran off.

Finally, Rukia had intervened and whacked them both over the head with bottles of sake. They hadn't spoken since then.

Loud, echoing thumps were heard from the other side of the door.

It swung open.

There stood Komamura, his fox face placid as usual. His footsteps up the steps had been loud enough for even the deafest of the deaf to hear. But this wasn't what had people's attention.

They all stared at him, or more accurately, what he was holding in his paws before him. Rukia gasped.

"Nii-sama?"

Byakuya's body lay limp in his paws, a deep red colour staining his clothes. His soaked hair was strewn across his face. His skin was so much paler than usual. Renji stepped forwards.

"Is... is he...?" he was stuttering. He felt nervous. He didn't want to ask this question. And he certainly didn't want to hear the answer. "I mean-"

"No" Komamura replied simply. He entered the church and looked expectantly at Unohana. She hurried forwards to tend for Byakuya. People watched in stunned silence as she told the fox to bring the captain over to a corner where she could treat him. What had happened out there?

"Orihime!" Ichigo suddenly blurted out as a drenched orange-haired girl walked through the door. She was shivering and holding her arms across her chest. Her face spoke of sadness. Ichigo ran up to her. "What were you doing out there? You should have been inside! I told you not to follow me!"

"I'm sorry, Kurosaki-kun" she whispered while looking at the ground in shame.

"You shoul-" Ichigo was cut off when a hand landed painfully on his head.

"Shut it, Kurosaki, she's safe, isn't she?"

Ichigo turned to Ishida. Two thoughts occurred to him. One was about how he should murder Ishida for hitting him on the head. The other was how he was right. He turned back to Orihime.

"Sorry, didn't mean to yell at you like that" he apologized. Orihime bowed slightly before Joshiro came over and handed her a blanket to wrap around her shoulders. She thanked him sincerely and Ichigo and Ishida led her over to a chair to sit on and recuperate.

They all looked up again at the door where they heard soft footsteps. Someone else stood there. They didn't look their best.

Kya was a mess. Her usually perfect hair was dripping with water and hung chaotically around her face. Her face was pale, and slightly sickly looking. Her eyes were redder than usual where tears had previously been pouring free from. She held no expression.

"Kya!" Matsumoto cried, ripping free from Isane who was inspecting a nasty gash on her shoulder and running forwards.

Kya didn't say anything but instead closed the door. It shut with an echoing thud. Matsumoto stopped where she stood upon seeing Kya's face.

"Kya?" she asked quietly. She got no reply and watched silently as her friend walked across the room to where Unohana was kneeling next to Byakuya.

How?

---------------------------------------------------------------

Kya sat on the stack of chairs at the back of the hall. Her feet were huddled up to her chest as they rested on a slightly lower stack in front of her. Her eyes were glued on the floor below her. Or, more accurately, what lay on the floor.

Byakuya hadn't woken up yet. His face was calm and without expression. But it wasn't the usual calm. It wasn't the calm that came when there were thoughts behind it. It was the calm that came with nothing. An emptiness. A hopelessness.

Orihime had done what she could for him, but something was holding her back. She hadn't been able to heal him completely like she should have been able to. Maybe it was something to do with Yajuu's dagger, or maybe it was the doubt in her mind, but she just couldn't heal him.

Unohana had helped the wound that remained, but even she had her limits. Kya had been told he would probably be alright. Kya didn't like the word _'probably'_. Someday, Hisagi and Kira would _probably_ come out. Someday, Zaraki would wake up and _probably_ think about stopping the fights. Someday, Iba would _probably_ become t-total. _Probably_ was not a good word. It held doubts.

It was shear luck that Komamura had been nearby and felt the drop in Byakuya's riatsu. Kya knew she wouldn't have been able to bring him back to the church by herself, partly from physical strength, but mostly because her mental one. Carrying his body would have been too much. She would have cracked.

A cream bandage was wrapped around his bare chest. At least the bleeding had stopped. That meant that he wouldn't get any worse than he already was unless...

This was her fault. If only she had been able to stop Yajuu. If only she had stuck with Byakuya. If only she hadn't done what she did all those years ago. If only she was someone else.

Matsumoto kept glancing up at Kya from where she stood. She was supposed to be paying attention to the screen that had been set up in front of the Christmas tree, but couldn't concentrate. She hadn't ever seen Kya like this. She hadn't even spoken since entering the church. She must be pretty darn upset.

Joshiro had contacted Yamamoto as soon as the threat had been identified. He was surprised when Yamamoto kindly informed him that he was glad to see them all safe, not having any idea where they had gotten to. Kya had left a note. A short one at that. Yamamoto had to show it up to the camera so that Joshiro would actually believe him.

_Dearest Yamy-kun,_

_Gone out. Back soon._

_Lovies,_

_Kya_

_PS. I've taken them with me_

_P.PS. Merry Christmas_

So now the captains and lieutenants stood before the screen, waiting for Yamamoto to address them all about the situation. They had already been waiting for ten minutes for him to show his face. He apparently hadn't been able to get to them. Maybe he was in the bath.

But here he was, standing in all his strangely muscular old self. His eyebrows were furrowed even more than usual as he spoke.

"Captains, Lieutenants, Allies" he addressed them, adding the 'allies' in especially for Orihime and Ishida, who were the only non-Shinigami in the room due to Isshin taking Yuzu and Karin home. "It is unfortunate that we must speak again under such grave circumstances, but I am afraid it must be so"

He paused. Renji wondered if he was thinking or just wanting to add some dramatic effect. He decided it must be the former. The commander general wouldn't do such things just for dramatic effect. Would he?

"A serious event has happened tonight, one so serious it has endangered the life of one of our most respected captains. I have been informed that Kurotsuchi-Taicho was able to recover one of the bodies of the attackers. Hopefully this will shed some light onto their behaviour and strength."

He turned his gaze to Mayuri. He stood up straighter making himself seem more important.

"Yes, I will surely be able to discover something of importance" he told the general. Yamamoto nodded and faced them all again.

"Seireitei has been well aware of the danger of these creatures and have sought to eliminate them before now, but unfortunately we did not expect them to attack so forcefully. What we had observed from previous encounters was that they held no ill-feeling towards Seireitei or its inhabitants. Apparently, we were incorrect in that judgement" he told them seriously. "First of all, we must address the issue of analysing our new enemies"

Ichigo stepped forwards.

"Wait, just who are these enemies? Some of us don't even know what they are!" he shouted forcefully. Rukia hit him on the head again. That had to be the hundredth time tonight someone had done that.

"Ichigo! Don't speak so rudely!" she yelled.

"But-" Ichigo was about to complain but Ishida cut him off

"I'm afraid that, no matter how moronic he sounds, Ichigo is right in this matter. Even after fighting them we do not know who these things are. It is a matter of importance"

"You didn't even fight them, you were unconscious" Ishida whacked Ichigo round the back of the head for the comment. Ichigo started to sulk and rubbed his head where so many people had hit him. A large bruise was starting to form on it.

"Who are these enemies?" Ishida asked ignoring Ichigo's suffering

"They're beasts" Soifon answered sternly "Vicious, sadistic beasts. That's all they are"

"That doesn't really answer the question" Ichigo stuck in

"They were once the creation of a long-since dead captain of the twelfth division" Urahara sounded serious for once. Ichigo looked down at the ground.

"Figures" he mumbled. It seemed as if anything bad in the whole world was created by that division. Urahara ignored the comment and continued

"Well, I suppose _pet_ would be a more accurate term for them than creation. The captain genetically formed them from the cells of human and animals for his own entertainment. He made many, but only two survived longer than a week after the incubation period was over. He raised those two and taught them much. Unfortunately, when they reached adulthood they grew tired of being someone's pets and broke free into the real world. It would have ended after that, except for the fact that these creatures seem stuck on the idea of copulation. They bred, and fast at that, soon there were a large number of them in the real world. There still is, apparently. It was only a tiny proportion of the race that attacked tonight, a clan I would say."

"Human and animal cells? Pets? Clan?" Ichigo asked bewildered, "I don't get it"

"Well" Rukia said as she stepped in front of Ichigo and faced him. She had the dreaded notepad in one hand and an even more dreaded pen in the other. "First there was a captain, then-"

"Stop drawing those sucky animals!" Ichigo yelled at her. Rukia glared at him.

"Exactly how many did attack on this night?" Yamamoto spoke before another fight could start up between those two.

"Ken-chan found one!" Yachiru squealed from atop Zaraki's shoulder. "And he beat that stupid man! There was blood everywhere! It was great! The man's guts were inside his body then they weren't and Ken-chan pulled out his-"

"That's very nice, Lieutenant Kusajishi" Unohana interrupted, not really wanting to expose everyone to Zaraki's rabid antics. Zaraki only grunted in agreement.

"I managed to kill one as well" Shunsui informed Yamamoto. Yamamoto nodded.

"I killed three!" Ichigo boasted.

"_You_?!" Rukia screamed, "Was I not even there?! I believe-"

"And then of course there's the one Mayuri got" Yoruichi stopped the incoming argument. Urahara had set up a chair beside her and was watching Ichigo's and Rukia's actions intently, a tub of popcorn in his hands. He was slightly disappointed when Yoruichi stopped them.

"We came across three also" Hitsugaya said seriously. "Matsumoto and Abarai managed to defeat their opponents, but before I could deliver the final blow another creature appeared, seized my opponent and ran off. I could not catch up with him."

"What?" Ishida asked surprised

"That's what happened" Renji confirmed.

"Interesting" Mayuri remarked to himself.

"So that makes nine attackers, eight of which are dead, and one unknown who rescued one of these attackers" Yamamoto counted. "Was that all?"

"No" Orihime spoke up nervously. People hadn't been paying her much attention during this discussion. She had yet to tell them what happened. She didn't want to.

"Continue" Yamamoto instructed

"There was the one that attacked Kuchiki-sama" she said quietly. No one interrupted now. She pulled the blanket closer around her as she looked at the floor and didn't raise her head. "He got away"

Yamamoto just nodded in understanding. He faced the others.

"Now we must address the next problem" he said. Everyone became serious again. "Why did so few of this race choose to attack?"

"They obviously wanted something" Nanao put in her piece while pushing her glasses up her nose. People nodded in agreement.

"But what?" Renji asked

"That's simple"

People turned at the voice. Kya sat on that stack of chairs, her eyes set firmly on Byakuya's form. Strands of hair hid her face as she stared down. It was the first time she had spoken since returning to the church. Her voice was calm and yet conveyed a deeper grim meaning.

She turned her head up to look at the group. None failed to notice the determination in her eyes. She spoke the one word that had been echoing in her mind, bringing thoughts of blame with it.

"Me"

---------------------------------------------------------------

**-waves hands in front of face- Woooooo! I'm scary aint I?**

**I've been ill today. I was throwing up in the morning but still tried to get into school to do my three exams today, but as soon as I got there I was sick again and had to go home. They're sending the exams to me in the post though so I can do them at home. My weekends gonna be busy.**

**First exam I had was astronomy. It was a complete joke. All five people in the class found it really hard and we've all failed. Our teacher did the classic thing of including stuff that he hadn't taught us but only mentioned in lessons. But I don't really care about astronomy and it'll be fun seeing his face when he realises we're all gonna do shit. This question was an awesome one:**

**Question: Name 2 precautions that should be made if a CME (coronal mass ejection or type of solar flare fyi) is observed to be travelling in the direction of the earth**

**My answer: More sun cream**

**Yeah, I rule.**

**Then I had German Listening. I had to actually stop myself from bursting out laughing. Don't know it, don't care. I wrote some proper random crap down as the answers, but most of it was multiple choice so I just ticked random boxes. I love multiple choice.**

**RS and EngLang were cool. I can bluff my way through those exams and just write any crap and get full marks. For EngLang we had to write an article for a teenage magazine persuading them not to smoke. It was so easy for me, mainly coz I was just able to think of all the things I dislike about smoking and write it down in a funny way. Hypocritical – yes. Difficult – no.**

**ICT was jks. No one actually cares about that subject. I had to really fight the urge to write Backstreet Boys lyrics down for every answer. And when I finished making stuff up twenty minutes early I had to stop myself from drawing pictures of Byakuya in a bathtub all over my paper.**

**I think I did ok in maths 1, couldn't answer a couple of question but I worked out that even with that I was likely to get over 80, which is well good.**

**Over the weekend I'm gonna have to do EngLit, History (hah!), and Physics (double hah!). Then next week I've got German Reading and Writing, Chemistry, Maths 2, and Biology. After that I've got a two day art exam, and after that it's Christmas holiday. Hopefully, my writing will pick up speed again then.**

**Anyways, enough of my ramblings...**

**There once was an old man called Ted,  
****He sat on the edge of the bed  
****But didn't review  
****I turned him to goo  
****Coz he didn't do as I said**


	61. Courage

**This ones quite short, but oh well. It's also dedicated to TheSorrowfulVampress coz she dedicated one to me, so I'm returning the favour.**

**Chapter 60 : Courage**

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"Me"

Everybody was turned to silence at the word. No one's gaze lifted from Kya's. She stared back at them, as if daring them to look away or speak. Finally, someone did.

"What?" Soifon breathed out in a hoarse whisper. Kya looked her in the eyes. Soifon almost buckled under the full blow of the stare. The blue was so cold, so unyielding.

"They want me" she repeated calmly.

"Why?" Matsumoto let out. What could her friend be thinking? Why would these creatures be after her? It was ludicrous.

Kya looked down again, only to severely regret the action. The sight of Byakuya made her feel weak. She didn't have the option of being weak. Not with what was going on.

"I did something" she spoke not able to look away from Byakuya's figure. It was so frustratingly entrancing. She longed to look away, to have something other than his face in her vision. But she couldn't. Her guilt kept on stopping her. "Centuries ago. And now they've finally been able to track me down"

"What did y-"

"So you mean we all could've been killed coz of something _you_ did centuries ago?" Renji's angry shouts cut Joshiro off. Kya's non-existent reply only got him angrier. "This was your fault, wasn't it? All of this! For God's sake answer me!"

Renji's words finally snapped Kya out of her transfix. She shut her eyes slowly and sighed.

"Yes" she whispered sadly. Renji blinked. He hadn't expected her to admit it was her own fault. He had expected some sort of argument from her based on truly ridiculous facts. Her not giving one only showed how much he didn't know about her. He had only ever seen her in that annoyingly bubbly attitude when she held no self-dignity. And yet, now she was being serious. Completely serious.

"Huh?" was all he could say. Rukia decided to give Ichigo a break and instead hit the red haired moron on the head.

"Renji, you idiot! Stop being such a jerk!" she yelled

"But- but-" Renji stammered "It's not my fault! I mean-"

"Silence!"

Renji stopped spluttering immediately and froze where he stood. He turned his head mechanically to face the screen. Yamamoto did not look pleased at all.

"This is not the time for petty arguments. This is a serious situation we are in, not some squabble over who has the prettiest zanpaktou"

"Ken-chan!" Yachiru squealed in answer to the question that wasn't asked. People looked at her oddly.

"Quiet" Zaraki told her. To be honest, he wasn't so happy that Yachiru thought his zanpaktou was _pretty_. He didn't like anyone thinking anything about him was pretty. He wasn't a pretty person.

"Anyway," Yamamoto continued, ignoring Yachiru's outburst. "Kya, would you care to elaborate on your past statement?"

Kya wasn't listening. What Renji had said was still troubling her. In those short sentences he had confirmed what she had been thinking; this was all her fault. It was her fault they had gotten into trouble. It was her fault Kira and Hisagi were zoned out. It was her fault Byakuya's life was in danger. It was her fault. All of it. Why couldn't she...

"Kya" Yamamoto repeated with more force. Her eyes shot open and she looked up at the screen. Yamamoto was staring at her in the way he did when she was questioning something he said. Austerity mixed with the faintest hint of something else. Kya had grown to recognise it as sympathy. She didn't want his sympathy. Not if this was her fault anyway.

"Yes?" she said after a moment of evaluating his gaze.

"Would you care to elaborate on your past statement?" he reiterated.

"You said yourself that Seireitei has already investigated this race on numerous occasions" she stated, her eyes still fixed firmly on Yamamoto's. She didn't want to look at anyone else. She knew what they would be thinking even if she couldn't see it on their faces. They would be blaming her also. Yamamoto nodded to confirm what she said. "I was sent to do just that. It got a bit out of hand. I'm afraid I cannot say much more than that due to strict confidentiality rules regarding my missions"

Soifon scoffed. She was met with glares from Matsumoto, Urahara, Joshiro and Shunsui. None of these affected her attitude. When she saw Yoruichi's disapproving stare, that changed. She looked at the ground embarrassed.

"Why didn't you kill them all then and there?" Mayuri spoke up in the awkward silence. Kya looked him in the eyes.

"I couldn't"

Her eye line went back down to Byakuya. The empty expression, the tightly wrapped bandages. The memory of his crimson blood spattered carelessly on the rain soaked ground appeared in front of her eyes.

She raised herself from the stack of chairs and started walking determinedly across the room, not looking at any of the others once. She reached behind her and drew the silver daggers out from the wide sash around her waist. She held them by her side as she reached the door. Three words were spoken before she disappeared into the night outside.

"Now I can"

--------------------------------------------------------

Risa spat out the blood in her mouth. The coppery liquid that she had sucked from her own shoulder splattered when it hit the hard ground. She growled as she pulled out another shard of the still cold ice embedded in her skin. It hadn't melted as she had expected it to, and now the gashes bloody hurt.

"That brat" she mumbled to herself quietly. Hitsugaya-Taicho had been tougher than she had expected. She never underestimated her opponents, but it was still surprising when the kid showed himself to contain such high power. Child prodigy, no doubt. Risa hated child prodigies. They always had their heads so far up their backsides.

"Now, now, Risa, you're still alive aren't you?" She didn't turn her head to look at Yajuu. He was probably just staring off into the forest anyway, as he usually did when he was thinking. The dense trees around them blocked out most of the rainfall falling over their heads. Only the odd drop here and there could be heard hitting the leafy undergrowth. She could see perfectly well, despite it being almost pitch black. Just another advantage.

"Barely" she said grumpily. Getting beaten up by a kid had affected her mood severely.

"And you're welcome by the way" Yajuu replied to the thanks that hadn't been offered. She sighed and looked up at him. Sure enough, he was standing some meters in front of her, just staring out into the darkness as if it contained all the answers he was searching for. Her eyes flickered to a trickle of red that ran down his arm.

"She managed to get a few hits in then?" she asked.

"Yes"

Risa shook her head as she looked down at her leg again at yet another wound. She picked at the skin where it had been broken before tugging at the ice inside. She discarded it on the ground carelessly and wiped away some of the blood that had sprayed across her leg in the removing process.

"What now then?" she asked her lover and superior. His head turned to face her. A small smile was dancing on his lips.

"I think something to eat is in order" he replied with the grin still on his face. The fiery expression in Risa's orange eyes didn't change. His smile only widened. "I fancy a bit of fox, don't you?"

--------------------------------------------------------

Matsumoto would be damned if she let Kya run off on her own like that. It didn't even matter that Yamamoto had told her to let Kya act on her own accord. She couldn't just leave her. Not with the mood she was in. She could have done anything.

She flash-stepped through the town, ignoring the insistent pleas from her already exhausted legs. She could still feel the faint traces of Kya's riatsu where she had stepped recently. The path she was following grew fainter every second that passed.

Damn Kya and her bloody speed.

"Matsumoto!"

Matsumoto turned her head at the voice but didn't slow down. Soon the person in question was beside her side anyway.

"Taicho?" she asked disbelievingly upon seeing Hitsugaya "What are you doing here?"

"I came to make sure you didn't absent-mindedly kill somebody" he grumbled moodily. Matsumoto nodded in understanding. That was the real reason he had followed her, she knew that. It made her feel all warm and squishy inside to know that he cared about her safety.

"Don't forget about us" Matsumoto almost lost her footing at realising the amount of people that were around her.

"Renji?" she blinked in surprise. She looked around and her pace slowed somewhat. Almost all of the people who had been in the church had turned up. Orihime, Ishida, Joshiro, Nanao, Unohana and Shunsui appeared to be missing. Everyone else had managed to catch up with her. How slow did this make Matsumoto? She must have been more tired than she realised. "But-"

"No complaining! We were ordered to follow you by Yamamoto, so shut up" Renji told her defensively, trying hard not to show that he was concerned.

Matsumoto nodded thankfully.

"You guys gonna just stand here chit-chatting all day?" Zaraki roared as he passed them in the air. Matsumoto laughed slightly as she picked up her pace to catch up.

At least she wasn't alone anymore.

--------------------------------------------------------

Kya trod lightly through the forest on the outskirts of Karakura. Each foot she placed carefully as to not disturb any of the dead leaves on the filthy ground. The air was stuffy around her, a breeze not having passed through these parts for what must have been years. In the dark the silhouettes of the trees around her took on more sinister forms. Each branch was transformed into an arm, claw-like fingers grasping for her flesh. Each knot was transformed into a terrifying eye, watching her every move. Each drop of rain that fell through the foliage transformed into blood, leaking from the wood's last victim.

Kya blocked out all the frightening thoughts from her mind and concentrated.

They were close. She could feel them.

She bit down the lump that had formed in her throat. No, this was no time to be scared, she had to continue. She had to abandon all those fears for the task at hand.

The vision of Byakuya flashed before her again. She gripped the handles of her zanpaktou tighter in her hands, finding the courage to go on.

"I think something to eat is in order" Kya halted at the familiar voice coming from somewhere in front of her. Slowly, she pulled a branch back out of her vision, making sure to make no sound in the process. She watched the sight that met her intently.

There was Yajuu. His back was facing her but she knew it was him. Only he could give off such an arrogant and reserved air. Sitting on a log before him was a girl Kya only vaguely recognised. She didn't know her name but guessed this had been Hitsugaya's opponent.

"I fancy a bit of fox, don't you?"

Kya faltered. Her heart skipped a beat.

Yajuu turned. The grin on his face was evident even from where Kya stood as his gaze met with hers.

"Ah, look, here's one now"

--------------------------------------------------------

**BIG HINT ALERT!**

**God I miss comedy, but it's quite difficult to include it here at the moment. Mah.**

**I've done my History and Physics exams, I failed at both of them. I dont think I'll have time to do my EngLit but the school will be ok with that me thinks coz I did the others.**

**Over the past week my obssession levels over Gin have sky-rocketed. He is so awesome! Fansqueal every time I see him! ... which is quite a lot seeing as he's my desktop wallpaper, on my calendar, on pictures on my Infamous Wall Of Fame, and in every conversation I have with Rhea... maybe I should get a life or something...**

**There once was a man called Stew  
He was kind enough to review  
I love him so much  
And feel so touched  
It's made me go to the loo**


	62. Easy Prey

**I actually finished this last night, but bloody fanfic wasnt letting me post it then so myeh**

**Get set! In this one a lot is revealed! Kya's shikai! Why Yajuu attacked! Yajuu's true form! Kya's bankai! And anything else I may think of! **

**Ok, go!**

**Chapter 61 : Easy prey**

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"Ah, look, here's one now"

The smile didn't leave Yajuu's face as he spoke.

Kya's eyes widened at the sadistic look he was showing her. Their eyes connected and Kya saw a flash of gold enter Yajuu's dark ones.

Risa looked up from where she was sitting and peered at what Yajuu had become interested in. She gasped. She hadn't expected that girl to just show up like this. It was against everything she'd heard about her. If anything, she should be running, not looking for them.

Kya stepped out from behind the branches and into the tiny area where her foes were. She heard a twig snap as she stepped on it, no longer paying attention to where her feet were treading.

"And what can I do for you, my dear?" Yajuu asked in a voice dripping with fake sweetness.

The answer didn't come in the form of words.

Yajuu didn't even bat an eyelash as Risa's gasps for breath rattled forth. She collapsed onto the ground, clutching at her neck. At last she laid still, the silver dagger in her throat having sucked all life away.

Yajuu didn't stop smiling.

"That wasn't very nice now, was it?" he asked not sounding upset at all that Risa wouldn't move again. Kya held her hand out in front of her. She grabbed the dagger mid-air as it flew back towards her, not lifting her gaze off of Yajuu. She knew blood would be pouring out of Risa's neck. She knew that the deep stab wound would never heal. She knew she was dead.

It didn't matter. Risa didn't matter.

Yajuu tilted his head to the side and narrowed his eyes dangerously.

"How's Byakuya?"

That was all it took. Kya leapt into the air and landed behind Yajuu. Yajuu turned and jumped backwards before the silver struck flesh.

He narrowed his eyes further at Kya, the smile vanishing from his face. It was as if the air around them suddenly grew cold, a sudden switch in mood that nobody other than these two would understand. Kya pointed the tip of her zanpaktou at the beast. Yajuu returned the cold gaze. They were staring each other down, neither moving, neither breaking.

In unison they hurried forwards. To any onlooker they would have appeared as two blurs. The blurs reached each other. One struck out with silver. The other blocked with his bare hands.

Yajuu grabbed the dagger as Kya attempted to plunge it into his heart. The edge of the blade started to dig into his palm. He didn't let go. He used the moment to pull Kya towards him. She used the moment to ready the other dagger.

Her eyes widened as Yajuu knocked it effortlessly out of her hand. He brought the blade that was still digging into his palm closer, pulling Kya with it. When she was less than an inch in front of his face, he let a smile wash over his lips.

"You're scared" he stated with amusement written all over his face. Kya didn't say anything. She knew he was right, but she wouldn't let her fears stand in the way anymore.

She turned her wrist. Yajuu immediately let go as the edge of the knife swiftly sliced through his skin. He stepped back and examined the cut.

Kya jumped backwards to the place where half of her zanpaktou had landed. She quickly picked it off the ground and turned to face Yajuu again. Anger started from his eyes but worked its way across his features, until his face was contorted with it.

"Bitch" he growled.

Kya felt her courage grow a little. She could cut him. She could kill him.

As soon as her fear faded it came rushing back again, stronger than before.

Yajuu was laughing.

Kya had had enough of his games.

Yajuu caught the glimmer of metal fly through the air and dodged Kya's attack. He looked at where she was standing. She only held one of the daggers. The other had just missed his head by an inch. He hadn't heard it embed itself into a tree behind him, and frankly, wasn't about to turn his head to find out.

"You missed" he informed her with the grin dancing across his expression. It left when he saw Kya's face. One corner of her lips was upturned. She was smiling.

"Akeru, Tsumekitsune" she said quietly.

A rushing sound ran through the air. Yajuu turned and ducked just in time. The blur of red and silver dashed over his head as it returned to its master. Kya lifted her arm and caught it elegantly by the handle. She held the other hand up next to it.

What had previously just been two simple blades were now transformed. The silver strips had divided down the slight edge and separated themselves at an angle. Thin lines of silver held the piece of blood red material in place between the two larger slices. Kya held the fans gracefully before her, pointing the edge of red at Yajuu. He could see them glisten in the little light there was. They were obviously sharp.

Yajuu growled at the sight of them. He had never seen them before.

"Your shikai, I presume?" he asked roughly. Kya only stared at him. He nodded his head in understanding. The two both jumped forwards again. Kya swiped with one of the crimson fans. Yajuu evaded the blow and swung with his fist. Kya used the blunt edge of Tsumekitsune to parry the punch and reached with the other arm.

Yajuu flinched as he felt a trickle of blood run down the back of his neck.

Kya sliced with the fan, but only succeeded in grazing Yajuu's neck. Something was stopping her from fighting at her highest strength. That panicking fear was back and taking its toll on her. If it hadn't been for that she would have been able to kill Yajuu by now for sure. But she hadn't. That fear was blocking her path.

Kya didn't see the knee hurling towards her stomach until it was too late.

She flew across the dark clearing and landed with a thud on the soft ground. She lay on her side and slowly raised her head. She coughed. The drops of red that spewed out of her mouth were not a good sign.

"Well, then, my dear, what is going to happen to you?" Yajuu asked in a voice seeping with poison. Kya turned her head to look at him again, only to cough up more blood.

Yajuu twirled his new toy in his hands. The red from where his blood had leaked out of his neck merged perfectly with the crimson material. He could hardly make out the distinction between the two forms. And the silver still shone with that alluring glow. How would Kya be feeling now she only had one of her beloved zanpaktou? And in their shikai form as well. She really was weak.

Kya tried to stand, but her action was halted by another coughing fit.

"Is it really worth it?" she managed to croak out. This stopped Yajuu for a second. He wasn't expecting that question.

"Is it worth what?" he raised. She propped herself up on one hand and stared at him. He didn't falter under the intense flash of blue.

"All this" she said, "is it really worth it just to get revenge?"

Yajuu turned his head downwards while continuing to peer at her. His eyes were narrower than usual. He was contemplating what she had said.

"Well of course" he answered darkly. She managed to sit upright, still resting her weight on one hand.

"Why?"

This took Yajuu even more off guard than her previous inquiries.

"Why?" he repeated suddenly angry. "I would have thought that was obvious!"

Kya stood. She was forced to turn her gaze away from him in the process. She wasn't given time to react.

Yajuu knocked her to the ground again. Her face met the earth and she tasted the dirt as it hit the soil below her. She felt a weight pressing on her back. Yajuu held her hands by her side as he sat ontop of her. She twitched and tried to escape. His grip only tightened. He leant his head closer towards her until his lips were next to her cheek.

"You" he was definitely growling now. Kya felt droplets of spit hit her cheek as he spoke. "killed my brother"

Kya kicked upwards. Yajuu held her down and didn't lift his grip.

"He was the first of our kind ever to be born naturally, and you murdered him" he snarled at her quietly.

Kya kicked again. This time it had an effect. Yajuu was caught off balance and his grip loosened slightly. Kya took this opportunity. She whipped her hand out of his grasp and brought it around. She heard the yelp of pain as Tsumekitsune connected with his face. He fell off of her and she scrambled to her feet. A small line of crimson dripped down the left of his face where the fan had struck him.

Kya used the moment to attack again. Yajuu only just made it out of its path towards his throat. When he clutched at where the blow had landed on his shoulder, he dropped the other half of Kya's zanpaktou. She swiftly grabbed it off of the ground and stepped away from where Yajuu was quickly recovering.

Yajuu stood and faced her. The gold was swirling in his formerly dark eyes. Rage wrapped its way around his features.

Something snapped.

It had the horrifying sound of bone.

Kya's eyes widened as she realised what was happening.

Yajuu's neck twisted at an odd angle. His knuckles cracked as his fingers lengthened.

He was changing.

His muscles grew larger than before and struggled against his shirt. It gave way and ripped. Kya watched in shock as she saw hair appear from his skin. His shoes split as his feet stretched into more paw-like forms. His fingers did the same and the nails grew and turned yellow, now resembling claws.

But those changes weren't what had Kya's attention.

His whole face was altering in front of her. Bone snapped as it shifted under his skin, his very skull rearranging itself. The front of his face elongated until it was stuck out from his other features. His eyes sunk behind his prominent nose. No, not a nose, the only word for it now was snout. The moist black tip jutted out above his contorted lips. A grey fur ripped its way through his skin and covered his body and face. Two small ears pointed out from the top of his head.

Dog.

Kya was transfixed with the sight.

All her fears embodied themselves in front of her.

The cracking stopped as the last bone fixed itself in its new place. Yajuu snarled at the pain. Changing always hurt, but it was worth the sacrifice if it meant he could finish this.

His golden eyes landed on Kya's petrified face. They flashed with excitement at the hunt.

He sniffed. The scent of fear in the air only increased the feeling. Easy prey.

He was about to jump forwards, snap her neck in his hands, when he saw something flying towards him.

Tsumekitsune slashed at his thigh. If he hadn't jumped in time it would have struck his neck and he surely would have died. The fan rounded in the air and darted back towards him again. This time he stood his ground. He reached out an arm and darted it through the air at the precise instant.

Kya's zanpaktou was flung to the side and crashed to the ground. Yajuu looked at the small gash on his forearm. He growled at the pain. Animal instinct took over.

He leapt into the air towards Kya. She sliced with the other fan as he reached her, causing a deep wound to his chest. He ignored the stinging and gripped his claw-like hand around her neck. He lifted her up into the air until her feet were forced to leave the ground. Her hands dropped the fan and grabbed his wrist, trying to loosen the grip. It didn't work. She struggled as his mighty hand blocked her windpipe, her feet kicking blindly in the air.

He could snap her neck with a simple squeeze. She could be dead in a minute.

But then he wouldn't get to watch her struggle.

It would be too painless.

"Kya!"

Yajuu's head swung around at the cry. There stood a Shinigami. The same Shinigami he had seen kill one of his clan members. The massively over-sized breasts, the orange hair, there was no doubt that it was the same one.

Matsumoto stood there, not knowing what to do. What could she do? This creature was killing her best friend and if she tried to help she would surely be killed. If he had managed to trap Kya then she would be no match for him.

Kya seized the opportunity of Yajuu being distracted and kicked with all her might. Yajuu stumbled backwards as she made contact with his chest and Kya fell onto the ground, gasping for breath.

Yajuu looked from his intended victim to the newcomer, deciding on his course of action. He made up his mind.

"Matsumoto!" Hitsugaya swung with Hyourinmaru and managed to knock Yajuu away before he reached his lieutenant. He didn't see the other fist coming.

The furry paw smacked into his head and sent him flying into a nearby tree. Matsumoto gasped in shock at the strength. Hitsugaya rose and swayed a little before returning to fighting stance.

"No"

The voice cut through the air. Heads turned to its speaker. Kya was standing, watching them all intently.

"No" she repeated "This is my fight"

"But-" Hitsugaya couldn't finish the sentence. The look in Kya's eyes made him dumb. Slowly, he nodded.

Kya took this as an answer from both of them. They would not interfere.

Yajuu turned his head around and looked from one Shinigami to another. None attacked. His eyes snapped back to Kya as he heard the rushing of metal through air once again. Tsumekitsune missed him by an inch as he ducked the projectile. He did the same as it returned and Kya caught it elegantly. He bounded towards her. This time she was prepared.

"Bankai"

The whisper was barely audible and yet it shattered the air. Yajuu stopped in his tracks and watched as dead leaves were swept off of the ground and circled in the air, forming a mask around Kya. Greys and golds swirled around her, hiding her from view.

Finally, the leaves parted and fell back to the ground.

The first thing Yajuu noticed was the colour change. Kya's once black Shinigami robes were now white. The purple sash now deep crimson. The sleeves were wide and cut off just below her elbow, edged with red ribbon. Any of the black ribbon that had wound its way up her legs was gone.

The second thing he noticed was her stance. Fans raised at angles over her head, one knee on the ground in a ready position.

The third thing was her eyes. The white had almost vanished, the blue spread throughout, dark and reminiscent of an animal creeping through the night.

Finally he noticed what would have been the most obvious to anybody else. Seven white tails instigated from her lower back and fanned out behind her. The soft fur shone and what little light there was reflected off of each strand. They were short and feathery. They were those of a fox.

"Tsumekitsune Shippo" Kya spoke calmly. Yajuu's golden eyes widened from behind the snout.

He didn't have time to react.

Tsumekitsune Shippo swept through the air, hurtling towards him. It was faster than before, but even still, he dodged the flying fans. He didn't however manage to predict what they would do next.

Half way through their flight their direction suddenly changed. They darted back behind him. One sliced at the back of his neck. The other swirled around and cut at the front. Crimson spattered the dirt floor and stained the zanpaktou.

Yajuu fell onto his knees.

He gasped for a breath, but couldn't find one.

He crumpled forwards. His head connected with the earth.

Fur retracted into his skin once more, bones clicked as they rearranged themselves, muscles shrunk to human size once more.

Kya caught the fans simply and stood from her crouching position. She walked over to Yajuu and peered at his form on the ground. He was longer beast, his human form had returned to him. A red pool leaked and settled around his throat. He was no longer breathing. The beast had been slain.

Kya held her zanpaktou by her sides and with one quick motion shut the fans. Her robes faded from white to black once more. Her eyes returned to their normal selves. The tails evaporated into wisps and drifted up through the tree tops.

She turned her attention to Matsumoto and Hitsugaya, who had been watching in awe.

She snapped them out of their surprise with her placid voice.

"We better be getting back"

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**Akeru, Tsumekitsune: Open, Claw of the fox... Tsumekitsune Shippo: Tail and claw of the fox... I think... I don't speak Japanese so just used a translator, someone tell me if it's wrong**

**I drew a pic of Kya's bankai, its on my deviantart ( link on my profile). BTW no I did NOT steal it from Naruto, I don't even watch Naruto, and for your info, kitsune are a part of Japanese mythology from ancient times. I think its one tail for every 1000 years the fox has been alive or something, cant quite remember. **

**Okies, as you may have gathered I kind of gave up at the end of that one. I really cant write fight scenes, and just wanted to get it over with. Comedy will be back in the next one... but for how long? Mwahahaha!**

**I have decided that this story will have sixty four chapters, and an epilogue. So yeah, almost finished. Get your reviews in while you can! Hehe... subtle hint for you there.**

**So, me and Rhea were watching this British cooking show called Nigella Express (lol her dad's name is Nigel and he actually called his daughter Nigella XD) and she was making chocolate fudge. Rhea then gave me the AMAZING thought of Gin slathered with chocolate fudge... I couldn't think straight for a while after that...**

**Which may be why I did terribly in all my exams this week. I've finished them all now though, woot! Apart from art next Monday and Tuesday. In the past three days I have single-handedly reinvented the laws of German, Chemistry and Biology. German was so bad. I made up words and repeated the phrase 'it was very interesting' coz that's all I can say.**

**Haha! I just found out my results for maths, astronomy and chemistry. Maths was awesome with 82 percent overall! yay! except someone in the class got 98 percent... and were worried what their parents would say... astronomy is such a joke. I was two marks from getting a A+! LMFAO!! i made up most of my answers and did not take it seriously. Chemistry, well, first off our chemistry teacher explained that it took hardly any time to mark the papers coz most of the spaces were just blank XD. I got 56 percent, which is ok compared to other results. My friend Phi though got 82 percent! 82 percent! I mean, come on! how much revision did she do?**

**Also, apparently the average score for our physics class is 13 percent... hahahahahaha!!!! i think that says something about our teacher... **

**Anyways, til next time**

**Review?**


	63. Explosions go boom!

**This one is random comic relief before more serious stuff comes up again. I swear I will try to make the rest as funny as possible, but I'm not sure since it's the ending and needs to be all dramatic and shit.**

**It's also long, so be warned.**

**Chapter 62 : Explosions go boom!**

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Needless to say, the trip to the real world was unexpectedly cut short.

After reaching the forest the group had lost Kya's trail of riatsu and had split up to find her. It had been Matsumoto and Hitsugaya who had stumbled across her first, but sensing the sudden rush of spirit pressure from the area, the others had soon arrived.

Now it was three days later. Everyone had returned to Seireitei, more to stop one of Yamamoto's long lectures than anything else, and things seemed to be returning to normal.

Mayuri paced the length of his main laboratory, examining the large clipboard full of jumbled up numbers and symbols in his hands.

"Uh, Ku- Kurotsuchi-Taicho" a young member of his division ran up to him and started sputtering. Mayuri glanced up from the reports and stared at the boy in the eyes. He nearly fainted from fear of his own captain.

"Yes?" Mayuri snapped agitatedly

"Uh, well, um..."

"Spit it out!" Mayuri told him now fully annoyed at the boy's slowness.

"Well, it's just that, some of us, myself included, were, uh, wondering" the boy stuttered nervously. He thought his voice was coming out somewhat higher than usual. Why did he have to be the one chosen to do this? What would his captain do to him? He swallowed down his nerves and continued "when you would be taking a look at Specimen G53A?"

He cringed, ready to feel some sort of sharp pointy object dive into his skull. He opened one of his eyes slowly when he felt nothing. He was slightly relieved when he saw that his captain was smiling. Then his brain recognised the image fully and screamed its cells into oblivion at the terrifying sight. He could almost feel the tiny little explosions go off one by one inside his skull. It was sheer luck that he didn't fall backwards onto the floor like a piece of wood.

"That is a good question" More explosions went off in the boy's brains at Mayuri's words. "I will get around to experimenting on Zanon's cadaver right after I finish this"

Mayuri peered down at the boy curiously. He was still staring at him. His eyes were completely blank. It was slightly unnerving for Mayuri.

"You may leave" Mayuri dismissed. It took the boy a second to register what he had done, but once he had there was no slowing him down.

"Yessir!" He scurried away from his captain, not wanting to be around him any longer than need be. At the prospect of having a real conversation with him, he felt as if his lower intestine would rather jump up and strangle his heart until it stopped.

Mayuri turned his attention back to the information on the clipboard. Zanon would have to wait, this task was far more important.

"Kurotsuchi-sama?" He looked up again at the new disturbance. Nemu stood in front of him with the same vaguely drugged look on her face that she always held. Maybe she should have done something about that when she was created.

"Yes, Nemu?" he asked tiredly

"The resin is ready for moulding" she told him bluntly.

"Good" he quickly walked over to the computer panel in front of him, inspecting the many words flashing across its screen. He would surely be glad when this was all over. He didn't think he could stand wearing the paper bag much longer. Stupid Yachiru, burning his mask. Now he had to make an entirely new one. It was a bit of a bother to say the least.

Unfortunately, when he had tried to punish the candy fiend he had only been met with a darkness emitting captain. Mayuri didn't really feel like getting his spleen ripped out by Zaraki at the moment.

"Start up the turbine!" he ordered one of his subordinates.

"Yessir!" they replied before commencing to press several buttons on the control panel. Mayuri smiled. The members of his division shunned away at the sight from behind the slit in the paper bag.

"Taicho, the turbines are at full power!" someone shouted over the din the machines were making. Mayuri scowled. This wouldn't do. No way was this amount of energy going to be suffice for moulding his new mask.

"More!" he commanded. He was met with unbelieving stares.

"But, Taic-"

"More!" he repeated louder. His seventh seat gulped and pressed another four buttons. Rattling carried forth and the noise would have been deafening to Mayuri if he actually had any ears left. A louder beeping shattered the air and a flashing red warning light popped onto the screen.

"Cap'in, the engines canny hold out much longer!" The first thing that popped into Mayuri's head at the voice was whether he remembered having a member of his division who had a Scottish accent. The second, and, he admitted on later reflection, far more important, matter was that the man appeared to be right. But he couldn't stop now! He was slow close!

"It can and it will!" he screeched.

"But Cap'in, the energizer is bypassed like a Christmas tree!" Everyone stopped what they were doing at peered at the Scot. Mayuri wondered what one of those funny trees humans appeared to find so interesting during winter had to do with anything. He chose to ignore the remark.

"Continue!" he shouted. He then turned to the strange man and pointed. "You! Stabilize the turbines!"

"Aye! I'm working on them!"

Mayuri watched the screen intently. It didn't matter if he blew up the entire building, he would have his mask!

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"Good moorrrning!"

"Rangiku? What are you doing here?" Kira asked as Matsumoto danced into the room happily.

"Well, I had to check on my friend didn't I?" she replied. She looked down at Hisagi's bed in the forth division and grinned. Hisagi and Kira suddenly became very worried.

"What?" Hisagi asked slowly, nervous of the answer.

"Oh nothing, nothing" she dismissed, still grinning. Then she decided she couldn't hold it in any longer. "You two look so cute together!"

Hisagi sputtered on the water he was drinking. Kira fell off his chair. He looked up at the big-breasted woman in shock from his new-found home on the ground.

"What?" he yelled at her in surprise. Matsumoto waved a hand.

"Oh, don't worry, I won't tell anyone!" Hisagi doubted this very much. Trusting Matsumoto with gossip was like trusting Iba with sake; not a good thing to do in short. Kira didn't seem to understand this.

"Really?" he said hopefully. Matsumoto nodded vigorously. Hisagi tried to fix this mess.

"Er, what do you mean, Rangiku? Why do we look cute together?"

Matsumoto laughed. Kira didn't get it.

"Stop hiding it, Shuhei! I know everything!" she said lightly. Hisagi furrowed his eyebrows. Kira just sat, fully confused at the situation.

"You know what?" Hisagi asked her, keeping to his I-don't-know-what-you-mean act. Matsumoto cared to explain and shouted an answer rather loudly.

"That you two are having dirty bum sex in Kira's office!"

Hisagi's mouth dropped open. Kira was too busy thinking about lollypops. Matsumoto smiled widely. Unohana stood in the doorway.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything?"

Matsumoto's smile vanished and her eyes widened as she mechanically rotated her head around to face the captain. Hisagi fought the urge to smack Matsumoto with a bedpan.

"No, err, we, err, umm" Matsumoto stuttered.

"were just rehearsing a play" Hisagi finished for her.

"I understand" Unohana said kindly, walking towards Hisagi's bed. The reassuring smile of hers was in full use. Hisagi didn't like that smile. It always gave the impression that she knew more than she was letting on to. Matsumoto relaxed and sighed in relief, probably because she wouldn't have to face Hisagi's bedpan fuelled wrath.

Unohana starting inspecting the rapidly healing cut on Hisagi's forehead.

"Oh, and Matsumoto-fukutaicho" she spoke up while still peering at the gash, "I would prefer it if Hisagi-fukutaicho didn't drink while he was still recovering"

The guilty look returned to Matsumoto's face. Hisagi narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously.

"What do you mean?" he asked warily. Matsumoto giggled nervously. Unohana stood upright and starting fiddling with some sort of apparatus next to the bed.

"Just that I would prefer it if Matsumoto-fukutaicho wouldn't open that bottle of sake she has concealed in her robes while situated in my division" she explained. Matsumoto continued to laugh anxiously. Kira decided know was a good opportunity to return to the world of the conscious.

"Does anywhere in Soul Society sell lollypops?" he asked in a dream like state. Matsumoto and Hisagi blinked. Unohana looked at him and smiled.

"I'm afraid not" her warm voice informed him.

"Oh" Kira said before returning to dream land.

"Anyways, Shuhei, what I really wanted to ask you wa-"

Matsumoto was cut short. The large booming sound interrupted everyone's thoughts. Even Kira chose to wake up. They all turned there heads to the window where the noise was coming from.

"What was that?"

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Mayuri lifted his head sluggishly. He looked around. He was met with the sight of concrete. Broken, smashed, demolished concrete. Whichever way he looked it was all he could see. Well, to be honest, he didn't have many directions in which he could look. He couldn't turn his head very easily as something was holding him down. He glanced to his side. A large beam of stone was trapping his arm.

Ok, maybe they were right. Maybe the turbines really couldn't hold on much longer.

Something struck him.

His free hand went immediately to his face.

He sighed in relief.

At least the paper bag was intact; a little scorched, but intact none the less.

He groaned. This had set back his construction of a new mask by at least another two days. Those days would surely be filled with constant mocking and pain-filled screaming at by Yachiru. Damn that lieutenant. If she wasn't on such good terms with Zaraki all her organs would surely be contained in test tubes by now.

Something creaked from above him.

His face turned upwards.

Uh-oh

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Shunsui arrived at the twelfth division headquarters just like he had been ordered to. He looked around and spotted Nanao. He put on his best manly face and strutted up to her.

"What's going on here then?" he asked in a manly voice. Shinigami scurried around them, following orders and ordering others to help with picking up rocks or whatever else they needed to do. The twelfth division headquarters looked perfectly normal for the most part. The part that didn't was a small section in the east wing. Actually, the main reason that it didn't look normal was because there was no longer anything there. It was as if the building had been suddenly stepped on by a boy dinosaur who was trying to look macho in front of a girl dinosaur.

"There was an explosion, Mayuri is missing" she informed him. He shrugged.

"And? What's the problem with that?" he yawned as he spoke. Nanao hit him with the giant book. Great, she had managed to find it in his sake crate. He was sure that was somewhere she wouldn't ever look. Maybe she was under stress. Shunsui dismissed the thought. What possible stress could Nanao be under? She had everything! A good job and high intellect and a ruggedly handsome captain! No one could ask for more than that!

"You silly, silly man!" She shouted at him. "He may have been killed!"

"And your point is?" he asked genuinely not seeing why she was so worried. Not having Mayuri around would make a fine change.

Nanao had to think about this for a while. Finally, she came up with an argument.

"Others were in the building as well" she told him. Shunsui understood now.

A thought occurred to him. It was as if a light bulb flickered on in his semi-drunken brains.

"Ok, Nanao-chan! Stand back!" he declared loudly, shoving Nanao away with an arm. "This is a job for the manliest of men! Watch as I save all those precious little Shinigami from the grips of death! I shall be their salvation!"

His stance buckled as the book landed on his head again. He looked at Nanao disappointedly and pouted.

"No" she said simply before walking off to find someone who hadn't ingested three bottles of sake this morning already.

Shunsui ran after her, complaining all the way.

"But Nanao-chan! I am manly!"

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"You there! Go help move the top layer of rubble!"

"Yessir!" The three Shinigami saluted Hitsugaya before running off to do as instructed. He looked down and the list of tasks in his hands and mentally checked off the ones he had completed.

"This better be important. I was in the middle of training my new recruits"

Hitsugaya glanced up at the captain that had chosen to join him. He had to crane his neck until he was basically looking into the sky to get a good look at Zaraki's face.

"Training, huh? From what I heard it's more like corporal punishment" Hitsugaya mumbled to himself as he returned his gaze to the list. His vision was shortly obscured by a blur of pink.

"No, Shiro-chan! It's not corporal punishment!" Yachiru squealed. "The new recruits haven't done anything to be punished for! It's more like corporal education!"

Hitsugaya blinked. Yachiru jumped back and scrambled back up Zaraki to his shoulder.

"Um, yeah" Hitsugaya said still trying to take in what Yachiru had said. He guessed that any child Zaraki brought up would have to be slightly deranged. Yachiru just fulfilled that request. "well, are you here to help?"

Zaraki snorted.

"Nah, I just came here to check that the rumours were true and Mayuri was definitely dead." He gruffly responded. Ok, any child he brought up would have to be severely deranged.

"Hey! Look!" Yachiru spoke up excitedly as she pointed off in front of her. Hitsugaya turned to see what she was pointing at. "Isn't that Clown-face's daughter?"

Nemu walked calmly up to them, a bemused expression on her face.

"Hello" she said dreamily.

Zaraki grumbled a reply. Yachiru started playing with his hair, already bored with the events where she hadn't yet seen one mangled body. Hitsugaya's eyes widened.

"Ne- Ne- Nemu!" he cried in shock. Nemu blinked.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Your- your- your-" Hitsugaya couldn't bring himself to continue. He looked down at the ground and a small blush crossed his cheeks. His only explanation was to point at Nemu a little lower than her face. Nemu looked at where he was pointing. So did Zaraki.

"Well, would ya look at tha'" he grinned at Nemu in a way that would have made anyone else run for the hills. Nemu only continued to look at where Hitsugaya was pointing. Hitsugaya held a hand to over his eyes, not wanting to look.

"Nemu! Cover yourself!" he finally croaked out. Nemu didn't see what his problem was. So her robes were a little torn, did that really mean he couldn't look at her?

"Huh?" she asked.

"I know what the matter is!" Yachiru poked up again in front of his face and pulled his hands away from his eyes. "It's because you want Quite-girl's robes to be all torn, isn't it?"

"No!" Hitsugaya shouted defensively. "Don't be so vulgar!"

"I bet you want to be _so vulgar_ with Quiet-girl, don't you, Shiro-chan?" Yachiru continued to torment him. It was sheer luck that Matsumoto chose this time to interrupt before he got into a major fight with the annoying girl. She ran over and wrapped a blanket around Nemu.

"Um, Nemu, why don't we go over here?" she suggested noticing the look she was receiving from Zaraki.

"Ok, Matsumoto-san" Nemu replied and followed Matsumoto over to the other side of the path.

"And how is Kurotsuchi-chan doing now, Zaraki-Taicho?" Zaraki spun around at the voice.

"Uh, er, um" he stammered nervously. Unohana smiled at him warmly. Zaraki looked down and summoned all his manly courage. He let out a gruff mumble. "Fine"

"I bet you want Quiet-girl to be _fine_, don't you, Shiro-chan?" Yachiru squealed. Hitsugaya received an anger mark to the forehead.

"Shut up!" he yelled before stomping off. Yachiru bounced after him.

"I bet you don't want Quiet-girl to _shut up_ at night, do you, Shiro-chan?"

-------------------------------------------------

The concrete above his head was creaking ominously. Slowly, a tiny crack appeared at the corner. A tiny crack that, as Mayuri noticed with great concern, started to grow. It snaked its way through the stone. Chips of grey fell onto Mayuri's paper bag.

He gulped.

How was he going to get out of this one?

The material wouldn't hold out much longer. Soon the entire roof of his laboratory would collapse onto his bagged head. That would surely leave a bit of a headache.

A loud thump sounded from above. A large section of concrete shifted and started falling downwards. It stopped as it caught on the other half of the ceiling. Mayuri knew it was only a temporary save. It wouldn't last for long.

Another thump. The material started shifting again.

Oh, well.

There was only one option for him.

-------------------------------------------------

"What's happening?" Renji approached Matsumoto and Nemu and asked sleepily. He had been working too hard these past few days. He needed more sleep. How much paperwork could there possibly be?

"I'm trying to explain to Nemu why she shouldn't flash her breasts in public" Matsumoto answered matter-of-factly.

"_You_?" Renji exclaimed at the hypocrisy of it all.

"Yes, Renji, me. Is there something funny about that?" Renji shut up at the dangerous tone Matsumoto was using. This obviously wasn't the time to bring up her memoirs of a flasher.

"No, nothing" he said quickly, tattooed eyebrows rising into his abnormal hairline. He returned to normal as Matsumoto's stern gaze departed. "Anyway, that's not what I meant"

"Oh, what do you mean then?" Matsumoto asked while adjusting the blanket around Nemu once more to stop Renji's wondering eyes.

"I mean here, this whole explosion thing, what's happening?" he reiterated his previous question. Matsumoto sighed.

"Oh, that's boring" she dismissed, "what you should be asking me about is what our little friends Shuhei and Kira are doing in their free time"

"Huh?" Renji asked not understanding. Matsumoto covered her mouth with one hand after realising what she said.

"Uh, nothing" she looked shiftily from side to side. Renji had no idea what she was on about. He guessed the poorly concealed bottle of sake in her robes had something to do with it.

"One time I walked into Hisagi-san's office and Izuru-san was there. Apparently it was a hot day and so the only natural way for them to cool down was to take all their clothes o-"

Matsumoto shut Nemu up by smothering her mouth with a hand. Renji blinked. Nemu just stood there with a dazed expression on her face.

"What was she saying?" Renji asked curiously.

"Only that Shuhei and Kira used their spare robes to fan themselves on a hot day!" Matsumoto improvised. Fortunately for her, Renji was a gullible sod.

"Ok then, guess that makes sense" he looked off and thought about it, coming up with no flaw in the story.

Nemu jumped.

Matsumoto realised she still hadn't removed her hand from her mouth and dropped her arm.

Nemu looked at her feet.

Matsumoto and Renji followed suit.

Matsumoto shrieked.

"What is that?" she cried while pointing at the strange green goop that covered Nemu's shoes. Nemu crouched down and pulled out a bottle from no where.

"Good morning, Kurotsuchi-sama. I am glad to see that you are safe" she said to the goop. Matsumoto and Renji both lost their eyes as they swore they saw a scowl cross the goop. Nemu placed the bottle on the ground. The goop slithered its way inside. "Excuse me Matsumoto-san, Abarai-san, I must inform Yamamoto-sama that Kurotsuchi-sama is no longer inside the building"

She bowed and started walking away. Renji and Matsumoto stared after her.

"Uh, yea..."

-------------------------------------------------

Kya stared down at Byakuya's sleeping face. Sleeping, not unconscious. Unohana had told her that now he was simply resting. It wasn't much comfort to Kya. He still hadn't woken up. Even after three days. During those three days Kya had refused to leave his side. She would wait. She would be there when he opened his eyes.

"Shouldn't we go help at the twelfth division?"

Kya didn't take her eyes off of Byakuya at the familiar voice.

"No" she answered calmly.

"I hear that Mayuri may be in danger" they told Kya. She only huddled up further into the chair, wrapping her arms around her as she rested her chin on her knees.

"He can look after himself"

Tsumekitsune stepped gracefully over to the edge of the bed. The elegant fox sat and looked at Byakuya. Her white fur shone in the sunlight that glimmered through the open window. Two of her seven feathery tails curled around her slender legs as her dark blue eyes scanned Byakuya's features.

"The only thing you could have stopped was Byakuya getting injured so badly. You could not have stopped Yajuu from attacking in the first place." The fox tried to reassure Kya.

"I know" Kya replied solemnly.

"And yet you continue to blame yourself." It was a statement, not a question. It didn't need to be. Tsumekitsune already knew it was true.

"You said it yourself; I could have stopped him getting injured so badly"

Tsumekitsune tilted her refined head to the side as she gazed at her mistress. Her eyes shimmered with concern.

"Don't" she told Kya at what she was thinking. Kya looked at the fox. Tsumekitsune's concern only increased at the sadness she saw in those eyes. There were very few times when she had seen that sadness and those times were quite enough where she was concerned.

She slowly stood and walked over to her mistress. She sat in front of her chair and looked her straight in the eyes.

"It'll only make it worse"

Kya closed her eyes and turned her head into her knees, not wanting to have those eyes look at her.

"Please" she whispered quietly. She felt something warm and moist touch her fingers. Tsumekitsune licked her hand affectionately. Kya let her, finding a little comfort in the familiar touch. A single tear trickled down her cheek "I have to"

The feeling of Tsumekitsune on her hand stopped. She looked up. The fox sat and stared at her, compassion in her eyes.

"Then do it properly," she instructed Kya before adding "not like last time"

Kya returned her forehead to her knees.

"Yes"

-------------------------------------------------

**Bit of angst for you there, at the end. **

**Ok, anyone who didn't get the whole Scot thing near the beginning, go watch star trek. Scotty is awesome... and yes, those were actual quotes of his. I really wanted to include this one 'and if my grandmother had wheels, she'd be a wagon' but then I'd just get carried away. I don't even watch Star Trek but I know those quotes. How? I have no idea.**

**Me and Rhea went out Christmas shopping in London today. We had so many presents to get people, mainly because some inconsiderate people have to have their birthdays at the same time as Christmas! We also went to the one manga shop in the entire city. It was cool, but way way expensive. They sell everything for the recommended retail price, which is like double what you can get off the web. We had fun going around Chinatown though. I love that place, especially this one really cool market building. If I was able to run riot I'd buy the whole building. But luckily, I was able to control myself a bit and only bought myself a bag and some incense sticks. My brother was the most expensive person I had to buy presents for. And I've only gotten him his birthday presents; I'll need to go out next weekend to get him his Christmas ones.**

**My brothers back for Christmas holidays now. Yay! And it's his birthday tomorrow! Yay again! Unfortunately, I'm gonna be really busy coz I've got all my art prep work for the exams on Monday and Tuesday as well as my englit paper, which I still haven't done. And I've got to redye my hair...**

**Ok, so me and rhea have completed the bleach cast smexiness lists. Elvis Aizen has somehow managed to infiltrate the fortress. But you know, he's like a complete badass and to me that is so much more smexy than stupid goody goody nerdy Aizen. I now can't stand Nerdy Aizen. It's kinda weird. Here is a copy of the lists for your general information glands;**

**Bleach Smexiness List**

**The first 7 are completely lickable. 8-11 are pretty nice. The last 4 are just the ones that dont deserve to be completely omitted but still are not considered smexy.**

**1) Byakuya  
****2) Gin  
****3) Mayuri the twit  
****4) Urahara  
****5) Grimmjaw and his manly chest of destruction - he can bring down entire cities with those abs  
****6) Aizen elvis style  
****7) Renji and his pretty hair  
****8) Joshiro and his even prettier hair  
****9) Ken-chan  
****10) Shunsui  
****11) Ulquiorra the genderless emo boy  
****12) Hisagi the gay perv  
****13) Kira the other emo boy  
****14) Ikkaku  
****15) Ichigo**

**Hitsugaya is cute and squishy, but I'm not a paedophile so he's out. Komamura makes me want to death hug him, but he's a big ass fox.**

**Bleach Manliness List**

**1) Ken-chan's beef  
****2) Byakuya  
****3) Grimmjaw and his manly chest of destruction  
****4) Shunsui  
****5) Renji and his tattoos  
****6) Mayuri  
****7) Aizen elvis style  
****8) Komamura  
****9) Urahara  
****10) Soifon coz you know... shes a man**

**People such as Gin are the smexiest people ever drawn, but cant be classified as manly, so are not on the list.**

**Bleach THOU SHALT NOT PASS List**

**These people will never EVER appear on the smexy list. end of.**

**1) Ishida aka Fat Girl  
****2) Iba & Omaeda  
****3) All the Bounts  
****4) Most of the arrancar  
****5) Tousen  
****6) Isshin  
****7) Chad**

**Agree? Disagree? Have your say!**

**Reviews are useful commodities, aren't they?**


	64. Reassurance

**Wow, only one more chapter after this before the epilogue. That is propa short. Don't fret though, I will write something else after this. I'm not sure what though. Check out the end note and I'll tell more details there.**

**This one's quite short, blame rhea.**

**Chapter 63 : Reassurance**

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It was dark. Just dark. Nothing but black.

Byakuya felt something warm on his side. It was different to what he remembered feeling. He remembered the cold, the emptiness that came with unconsciousness. But this was unlike that. It was warm and comforting, a vaguely familiar sensation.

He then realised what the blackness was.

His eyes slowly fluttered open and the darkness evaporated. It was night, but the soft moonlight falling through the window made things so much brighter than before. A blue sheen was cast across the room, subtle silver highlights outlining objects.

Byakuya tried to recall where he was. Then he recognised the room. It was one of the spare rooms in the Kuchiki manor, the one used for recovery.

How long had he been asleep?

He looked down and saw where that warm feeling had been coming from. He reached up an arm that felt like lead and swept a strand of purple hair out of Kya's face. She curled up further and muttered something inaudible in her sleep. She was resting now, but Byakuya could tell from the faint dark circles underneath her eyes that she hadn't been doing so recently. The gentle glow from the moon reflected off her features and Byakuya saw the troubled expression they were showing.

He ran his thumb along her cheek. She only muttered something else in her sleep. It didn't sound to Byakuya as if she was having pleasant dreams. He knew he shouldn't wake her. She needed her sleep. Besides, Kya didn't like being woken up. But he couldn't just watch her struggle against some unknown problem in her mind.

He lifted his head and placed his lips tenderly on her forehead.

Kya's face contorted as she felt something against her forehead. Something was brushing against her shoulder. She snuggled up further into the heater that was Byakuya and tried to ignore the bothersome distractions and get back to sleep. She was tired. It didn't matter if she was met with her worst nightmares in her dreams; she was too exhausted to care. She hadn't slept in five days now, and it was starting to show.

The weight was removed from her forehead but the brushing against her shoulder continued. Who the hell was doing that?

Byakuya continued to run his thumb up and down her shoulder. The familiarity of her skin under his was soothing. He didn't want to let go.

The rhythmic movement of something against her shoulder was beginning to loose its irritating properties and become more calming. Kya let the frown disappear off of her face and gave in to the relaxing feeling that washed over her. Her mind started to drift off again into the peaceful slumber. Suddenly it was wrenched out again.

Her eyes snapped open.

Her head jerked up and she stared wide-eyed at the person next to her.

"Byakuya?" Her voice came out as a whisper in the surprise she was feeling. He was finally awake. A corner of his lips upturned into a small smile.

"Yes" he replied just as softly. His words were lost when he felt Kya's lips crash down onto his. He felt the desperation mixed with relief in Kya's kiss. He could tell that she wasn't certain if this was all a dream or perhaps it was reality. He wrapped his arms around her to let her know that this was actually happening. All too soon she pulled away.

"I..." Kya was lost for words. Her head was too full of swirling emotions to contemplate speaking. She looked down into Byakuya's dark eyes, now open after so long of being plastered shut. She felt his hand reach up to her face and stroke her skin gently.

"I know" he spoke. Suddenly it was as if a rock plummeted down into the depths of Kya's stomach and landed with a hard thump. She forced herself to rip apart from Byakuya's touch and sat upright. She looked down at the sheets of the bed as she remembered what she had decided to do.

"No" she whispered into the crisp night air.

Byakuya's eyebrows furrowed and he tried to sit up. His head swirled and he fell back onto the pillow. Kya glanced up briefly in concern. As soon as she saw Byakuya's worried gaze she looked down again.

"What?" Byakuya asked her uneasily.

"I-" Kya gulped. She didn't want to do this. But she had to. She didn't have a choice in the matter. She had made up her mind. She forced the words out of her mouth. "I can't"

Byakuya was silent. Kya didn't like his silence. She didn't know what to say. What could she say?

Byakuya lay and stared at Kya. She was thinking. It troubled him to see how confused she was. What was she confused about?

Finally, she lifted her head and met his gaze. A smile was glued onto her face. It was obviously fake.

"I better go tell Unohana you're awake!" she chirped in a voice that Byakuya recognised as the one she used when she was hiding something. Whatever it was, it was hurting her. He wanted to ask her about it, stop it hurting, but before he even got a chance to open his mouth she was out the door, presumably to go see Unohana.

He sighed in concern over her.

He knew that, eventually, she would explain. But for Byakuya, eventually was too long. He wanted her to tell him now.

-------------------------------------------------

"Kya"

Kya ignored the voice and continued walking determinedly towards the fourth division and Unohana's office.

"Kya" the voice repeated with more force. She gave in and stopped.

"What is it?" she asked frustrated. Tsumekitsune walked in front of her and sat at her feet. She looked up at Kya with firmness in her eyes.

"You can't ignore this" the fox told her seriously. Kya noticed the tone her zanpaktou hardly ever used. It was firm, almost ordering to her. Kya bit her lip subconsciously, not sure what to say. Tsumekitsune would try to protect her, even from situations like this, and her advice would always be for Kya's own good. But now, Kya didn't know what to do. She knew she should follow Tsumekitsune, but it was too hard. She just couldn't.

Her pace picked up again as she walked past her zanpaktou and persisted towards the fourth division. She sensed Tsumekitsune following, although her footsteps made no sound.

"Kya, why won't you listen to me?"

"Because I don't want to!" Kya stopped in her tracks and turned to face the fox. Her voice sounded angry, but conveyed more than that; she was tearing herself apart from the inside out.

"Can't you let this go?" Tsumekitsune asked in a gentler voice than she had previously used. Kya saw the understanding in her eyes and felt as if they were only ripping into her soul. She sighed and looked down ashamed at her outburst. She shouldn't have shouted like that. She was only helping.

"No" she whispered a reply.

"Sleep on it, then if you still feel that way in the morning you know what you have to do"

Kya nodded sadly. She doubted sleeping would change her mind, but she had to try. Tsumekitsune brought her back out of her thoughts.

"We better get going to see Unohana then"

-------------------------------------------------

Sunlight descended through the open window and scattered across the room, casting an orange glow about everything. Byakuya heard birds chirping outside and the gentle breeze brought fresh air into the building. He opened his eyes slowly and looked about the small room. His eyes settled on something in particular.

Kya sat on the chair beside his bed, staring at the wooden floor. She obviously hadn't noticed him waking.

"Good morning" he spoke, letting her know of his presence. She jumped and her head snapped upwards to look at him.

"Oh, morning" she said. Byakuya heard the uncertainty in her voice and decided to do something about it.

"Tell me"

Kya swallowed and her eyes scanned for anything else in the room to distract her from him. She found nothing and was forced to return his stare. Byakuya noticed something in her eyes. It was more than the confusion he had seen last night, more than the hurt; sympathy. Byakuya sat up in the bed and rested against the headboard.

"Please" he said now anxious of whatever it was that was bothering her. He saw something in her switch as if she had finally settled on something in her thoughts and wasn't going to prevaricate it. Something cast over her eyes, a coldness that he hadn't seen before.

"This isn't working"

Byakuya didn't believe that he had heard her correctly or maybe he had misunderstood.

"Sorry?" he asked disbelievingly.

"We..." Kya choked on her words but Byakuya saw her forcing herself not to give in "We aren't working... together"

Byakuya was shocked into silence. Where had this come from? He was sure Kya loved him. He was sure he meant something to her.

Then he saw it. The reason for it all.

"Don't lie to me" he told her gently. Kya didn't say anything but instead fixed her gaze on the ground. "Kya"

Kya gulped and fought back the tears that were threatening to fall. She had to do this.

"I... I'm not" was all she managed to force herself to say. Byakuya sat up and placed his hand on her chin. He lifted her head upwards so that she had no choice but to look at him.

"It wasn't your fault" he said trying to persuade her that she didn't have to do this. She pulled away from him and stood up, turning away.

"I thought you just told me not to lie, now you're doing the same thing" she said coldly.

"Kya, you could not have stopped it" Byakuya spoke firmly. Kya didn't move. Byakuya sighed. "Can you just forget it? It's over now, anyway"

At this Kya turned and faced him. She looked him in the eyes. He saw the hurt mixing with anger in the blue orbs and felt something twist inside of him.

"No it isn't!" she shouted at him, letting her emotions show themselves. "It won't ever be over! You don't understand! Yajuu was just one person that had a grudge against me! Just one!"

Byakuya furrowed his eyebrows slightly.

"Does that matter?" he asked, desperately wanting to change Kya's mind. Kya stepped forwards and threw her hands into the air.

"Yes! Don't you get it?" she yelled in frustration.

"No, I don't" Byakuya answered simply. Kya turned away again and breathed deeply to calm herself. She couldn't break down. She had to hold herself together. If she didn't she may just jump into Byakuya and curl up to him and cry. That wouldn't help her do this.

"As long as you're with me you're in danger" she said while forcing the emotions back behind the mask. "It happened all those years ago and it's repeating itself now. I can't go through it again. If you got hurt because of me I... I..."

Kya words were strangled. She couldn't finish her sentence. If Byakuya did get hurt again because of her she didn't know what she would do. The pain would be too much. The guilt would be suffocating. She would probably just die of the heartbreak.

"I don't care" Kya turned in surprise at Byakuya's calm voice. When her eyes met his she realised just how serious he was. A single tear rolled down her cheek.

"You might not" she whispered. She looked back down at the floor "but I do"

"Ky-"

"Look, Byakuya, just don't, ok? Just let it go" Kya cut whatever argument he was about to come up with off. "I can't do this anymore. Just... please..."

"So you're just walking away? Isn't that exactly the same as last time? I thought you said you regretted that?" the anger behind the calm words was visible to Kya.

"I'd regret it even more if you got hurt" her whisper was barely audible, but Byakuya heard it all the same. For some reason it irritated him.

"Fine" Kya looked up surprised. Byakuya sounded so cold. It was as if they had returned to the state they had been in when she first returned to Seireitei. Another tear was allowed to leak from her eyes. She held back the rest and tried to take in what Byakuya had said.

"What?" she asked breathlessly. Byakuya stared at the sky out of the window, not wanting to face Kya.

"You may leave" he told her bluntly. She stood there, completely stunned. Then realisation hit her.

She briefly glanced back over her shoulders at him as she left the room. Only when she reached the solitude of her own in the first division did she allow the tears to fall freely. The salty liquid streamed down her face as she collapsed onto the floor. Thoughts of reassurance ran through her mind as she tried to convince herself that it was for the best.

She had to. She had no choice.

-------------------------------------------------

**Wow, far too angsty in my opinion. I'm afraid the next one will be as well, but there will be comedy at the beginning me hopes.**

**Ok, art exams over! Yay! It was so bad! I HATE WINDOWS!!! WHY DID I HAVE TO PAINT THEM?!!**

**Anyways, about my next story. I have a few ideas about what I could do, but none of them are definite. Have a look at these then tell me what you would prefer in a review or suggest a new one if you want. I'm afraid it'll be another OC fic, I just have to include one otherwise I feel as if I'm messing with the characters too much. Ideas, then:**

**1) A sequel to this one, set far in the future and revolving around Byakuya and Kya's kid – not sure about story or pairings atm, and I'm kinda bored with this one, so not too sure bout that one**

**2) A prequel to this one, about Byakuya and Kya when they were younger – it would probably be really OOC and I think quite dull, and would include some stuff that I had in this one as flashbacks, so again, don't know**

**3) A GinOC story, set in Heuco Mundo – hav to think of story for that, and its difficult as the heuco mundo arc aint finished yet, but I luv gin soo much, it may hav some AizenOC as well**

**4) A MayuriOC story – defo will be OOC, despite Mayuri the twit being one smexy beast. **

**5) An UraharaOC story – not sure if I can bring myself to break up YoruHara pairing though...**

**6) A OHSHC KyouyaOC story – coz he is a nerdy asshole, and don't we love him because of it?**

**7) Something else entirely... give me ideas and ill think bout them**

**Only one more chapter and an epilogue! What is going to happen? Oooh! Only I know... and Rhea if she hasn't forgotten what I told her months ago.**

**Right, I probably won't be able to update again until Friday or Saturday coz I'm goin out tomoz afternoon, and on Thursday I'm goin to Norwich to my brother's uni to see phil jupitus and the blockheads play. It will be fun! **

**Reviews help me live**


	65. Goodbye

**Ok, I'm back from Norwich. The Blockheads were awesome. Um, if you don't know who they are then you may know their songs 'Sex and drugs and rock 'n' roll' or 'Hit me with your rhythm stick'. It was a great gig, despite it being filled with mainly middle-aged people. And I didn't get too drunk. I have good self-control. Phill Jupitus was fronting it and he tore off his shirt (to reveal his hypnotising flabby middle-aged chest) at some point and threw it into the audience. I was going to catch it but some bitch stole it from me! That was annoying.**

**Wow, last one before epilogue. Well, enjoy.**

**Dedication to anyone who's ever reviewed this story or added me to their favourite/alert list! I love you all!**

**Chapter 64 : Goodbye**

----------------------------------------------

_Swish. Pause. Swish. Pause._

Renji sat behind his desk and tried to block out the annoying sounds coming from Byakuya's writing brush and he busied himself with various sheets of paperwork. He had a major headache. During the time Byakuya had been on sick leave he had had to do all the work of his division. All of it. He never knew there was so much paperwork in the entire Soul Society. Even now his head swirled at the thought.

It had only been two days since Byakuya had awoken, and yet he had already returned to work. Renji was grateful for this in some respects. It meant that now he didn't have to shift through the endless piles of paper. But still, at least when Byakuya wasn't here he could sleep in the office when he was meant to be working. Now he had to stay awake and pretend to do something. He kind of wished Byakuya had followed Unohana's advice and taken some more time off. But oh no, his captain just couldn't wait to get back to the office.

Finally, the sound got to him and he slammed his forehead down onto his desk.

"Is there something the matter, Abarai?"

Renji glanced to the side with his head still on the wood and saw that Byakuya hadn't even looked up from what he was writing as he spoke. His voice just sounded its cold self.

"Uh, no, Taicho" he lied. Byakuya didn't reply to this but continued to work. Renji groaned and closed his eyes.

_Swish. Pause. Swish. Pause_.

Thankfully, the sound was interrupted. Unfortunately, it was replaced by something much louder.

The door burst open and screaming filled the air.

"What the hell did you do?!"

Renji lifted his head and stared blankly at the intruder. Byakuya halted in his writing and had the faintest hint of confusion on his face, although that didn't last long.

"I would prefer it if you knocked in future, Matsumoto-fukutaicho" he told Matsumoto plainly. She stomped towards him and slammed her hands onto his desk, glaring at him all the time.

"I'm sure you would, you bag of vomit mixed with poo and a touch of Mayuri gunk thrown into the mix!" she shouted furiously. Renji recovered from his lack of thoughts. Calling his captain Mayuri gunk was just too far.

"Rangiku! Don't speak like that to Kuchiki-Taicho!" he stood and walked over to Matsumoto. He addressed Byakuya as he tried to pull Matsumoto out of the office by the shoulders. "I'm really sorry, Taicho, don't listen to her, she's probably drunk or something, she really doesn't mean it, please don't kill her, she'll just leave no-"

Matsumoto swatted Renji's arms away as he kept on trying to grab her shoulders and drag her away. Pure anger was in her stare as she looked at Byakuya. His face was as calm as usual.

"I am not drunk!" she yelled. At Renji's final attempt to get her out of the room she had had enough. She grabbed a rather heavy book from off the desk and pulled a Nanao on his ass. Renji fell to the floor in a heap. He wasn't used to attacks like that like Shunsui was.

"Yes, and I'll have two mocha lattes to go, please" he mumbled to himself as his head continued to swim blindly in a sea of custard.

"I am not sure that I understand fully what you are saying" Byakuya sounded bored and looked down at the forms in front of him again, brush in hand, ready to ignore the interruption. Then the forms disappeared. Matsumoto swiped them out from underneath his brush and threw them into the air in frustration. Byakuya blinked at looked at her again.

"You know what I'm saying, you dog-sniffing pile of tiddlywinks!" she cried in his face.

"I do not" he replied calmly. This only got Matsumoto madder. Her face turned bright red with rage.

"No, that hamster is not mine" Matsumoto didn't even notice Renji's comment but instead just got redder and redder until she was the same colour as Santa's horrendous crime against fashion outfit.

"What the hell did you do?! You must have done something! I cannot believe you!" she shouted full-force at Byakuya's nose. He didn't say anything and Matsumoto realised that he indeed did not know what she was talking about. She explained in the best way she could.

"She's leaving!"

----------------------------------------------

Kya pulled a strand of hair out of her face and placed it behind her ear. The fingers of her other hand brushed across the surface of the pool. She watched the small ripples form as the cold silkiness of the liquid beneath her touch calmed her somewhat. She closed her eyes as she slowly waved her feet in the air behind her head. She sighed and let her head rest in her dry hand.

The crisp evening breeze stroked her skin as it engulfed her lying body. The movement in the air caused grass to tickle across the lower half of her body and made the stone on which the top half relaxed become icy to her touch. She ran her fingers through the water, almost playing with the surface, and let her senses take in the familiar aspects of this place.

She heard birds singing softly in the surrounding trees, the crickets starting to awaken in the dusk and chirping around her, the water trickling down the face of the rock in front of her. She felt the soothing feeling of the wind, the grass, the stone and the water. She could smell and taste the freshness of the draught as it swept across her. The only sense she wasn't using was her sight, her eyes still closed in order to amplify the other feelings.

Another sigh left her mouth.

"I thought I may find you here"

The presence of the voice surprised Kya. She had been too busy trying to take in every tiny feature of the place to even notice them approach. She should have been more careful. Her eyes snapped open and she stared at the waterfall falling down the grey stone before her.

"Why were you looking for me?" she asked while still looking at the clear water.

"Matsumoto told me" Byakuya said as he sat down beside her on the edge of the pool. She glanced sideways at him. He was looking at the tumbling water just like she had been doing previously.

"Oh" that was all Kya could say. So he knew, that still didn't explain what he was doing here. He shouldn't care anymore. It was a minute later when Byakuya broke the silence.

"Were you going to tell me?"

"Maybe" Byakuya's gaze shifted onto Kya, questioning her every word. She explained further "I'm not sure"

"Matsumoto was not pleased" he remarked. To be honest, that was a bit of an understatement. He had spent the last half hour just trying to stop her screaming at him. He hadn't had a chance to get a word in edgeways. It was only when Renji finally decided to return to the world of the sane and started shouting at her that he had been able to escape her fiery wrath.

"I know" Kya sighed and looked into the water and the fish dancing within its depths. "Rangiku believes that I should stay and that everything should stay the same. She doesn't want things to change from the way they were before this all happened. She doesn't understand that that could never happen"

She rolled over and sat up onto her knees, although her eyes didn't leave the calm liquid. Byakuya looked over at her and watched as the orange sunlight reflected off of her purple hair.

He found it difficult to believe. She was leaving. She had told Yamamoto earlier today the results of her inquiry and had been assigned a new mission accordingly. Of course that mission was outside of Seireitei, it was probably outside of Soul Society. Who knew when she would return? That was if she ever did. Her missions were never safe. What if she didn't come back?

"When did you come to your conclusions that none of the officers were conspiring?" he asked her. She didn't look up.

"About ten seconds after Yamamoto told you all of the inspection" was her plain answer. This was curious to Byakuya. In that case, why hadn't she left then? It wasn't as if she wanted to stay. As if reading his thoughts, Kya explained. "I only stayed as long as I did because I thought there might be a reason to do so. Now there isn't"

Byakuya understood what she was saying and turned his gaze to the pool.

"Don't worry; we both knew I was always going to leave, now there's just a definite date" she reassured him slightly that it wasn't completely his fault. He looked up again. She was returning his stare, a small smile on her face. But it wasn't a happy smile, it wasn't a teasing smile, it wasn't even that beloved smile she got when sleeping; it was a smile that held depths of sadness and serenity mixed together underneath a layer of contentment.

"And when is that date?" he asked in his usual solemn voice. The smile disappeared.

"Tomorrow"

Byakuya found it hard to stop his eyes widening at the news. That soon? Was she that desperate to leave Seireitei?

"Kya..." Byakuya found that his voice had come out softer than it usually did. Kya could see the underlying sadness in his voice and a touch of desperation. She looked him in the normally cold eyes. They were now filled with emotion. Kya swallowed.

"Yes?" she asked in a whisper, trying to resist the temptation to squeeze the living daylights out of him and refuse to let go.

"Stay" Byakuya knew the bid was hopeless. She wouldn't stay. She had to leave. It would be completely against her nature not to. After all, she was right; he always knew she wouldn't be there forever. It was just for the task. And now the task was over. He just... didn't want her to go. Not yet. Not like this.

Kya sighed and placed her hand against the side of his face.

"Don't do this. Don't kid yourself that there's a chance, little Kuchiki" it was as if time had been reversed. The old name she used to call him when he was young turned the situation into something resembling a scene from years ago. He was the kid once more. She was the wise Shinigami that had taught him about people and their curious habits. It only made him want her to stay more.

Her touch against his cheek sent shivers down his spine. He tried not to crack and burst out what he was thinking. He failed.

"But you could tell Yamamoto you have had enough missions and that you would prefer to remain here. He would understand. You don't have to leave. You could stay. We could..." he trailed off ashamed at saying these stupid thoughts that he already realised were pathetic arguments. Kya's hand was removed from his face. She let out a sad laugh and looked at her hands in her lap.

"But that wouldn't solve anything" Kya whispered. "I wouldn't be happy, you know that"

Byakuya did know that. Kya would never be happy with a quiet life in Seireitei. She wanted her missions. No, she needed them. She had held her position for so many centuries that if she suddenly found herself as an ordinary Shinigami she would probably kill herself with the boredom. She could ask if she wanted. Yamamoto would surely appoint her as a seated officer in a division, possibly even in the place of one of the missing captains. He was like a father figure to her, after all. Shortly after she died, when he was still a novice Shinigami, he had found her in district eighty of Rukongai, and, sensing her powerful spirit levels, had trained her personally. But despite that, despite her capability to stop travelling if she so pleased, she wouldn't do it. She couldn't do it.

He slowly reached up a hand and with one finger brushed a wave of purple out of her face. Her eyes turned upwards to meet his. Byakuya saw the longing in those blue orbs and he was pretty sure his own were not much better.

"Don't." Her whisper was lost in the gentle air that swept around them. Byakuya chose to ignore it. He couldn't resist any longer. His fingers settled on her cheek as his head leaned in towards her. The taste of blueberry swamped his mouth as he took her in his lips. The kiss was gentle and deep and Byakuya was surprised when Kya didn't pull away but instead started to return it. He felt her arms reach up and wrap around his neck, pulling him closer. The hand that wasn't on her cheek slithered around her waist and settled there.

He pulled his lips away from hers but kept his face close.

"I thought this was too dangerous for me?" he whispered to her

"You're right" she said in the same tone, her eyes sparkling slightly. "But you know what? I don't really care anymore"

His eyes shut as he felt her lips on his again, this time more forcefully. He kissed her back with the same passion and held her tightly.

For now, everything was alright.

For now, she wasn't leaving.

----------------------------------------------

Kya didn't want to let the darkness go. The sooner she did then the sooner this feeling would end. The feeling that she was safe. The feeling that she was happy. The feeling that she was loved.

But she had to; she couldn't stay in this dark forever. It would have to end. And soon. Otherwise it would be too hard.

Regrettably, she forced herself to open her eyes. The darkness vanished and was replaced with the faint light of early morning. The sun hadn't risen yet, but the glow that came before it did was here, shifting through the thin paper door.

Ever so gently, she lifted her head. She didn't want to make much movement.

Byakuya stirred slightly in his sleep as the weight disappeared from his chest. Kya watched him carefully, making sure he wasn't awake, before sitting upright. She looked at his face and felt something twist inside of her. Something deep in her chest was shouting at her to just lie down again and fall asleep. Her head kicked the voice into a tiny box, locked it, and swallowed the key.

A small smile crossed her face at a thought. She had told herself that she would wake before him one day. Now she had.

The smile vanished as the box shook and struggled against the voice trying to escape. She gulped and coerced herself to slide out of the futon sheets and stand. A slight frown crossed Byakuya's face as he felt the warm hand leave his chest. But he didn't wake.

Kya silently walked across the room and picked up her robes that were strewn haphazardly across the floor. She quickly dressed and made sure she had everything she needed.

When she was standing by the door that led out onto the garden that she had noiselessly slid opened, she couldn't help but glance back.

She was forced to strap multiple chains around the box to stop it from breaking. She felt tears welling up in her eyes but pushed them down, not wanting to give in to this.

A tiny corner of the box was pushed upwards, a slither of the contents let out. She quickly crossed the room and stood in front of the table on the other side. She paused briefly before picking up the writing brush and running it across a sheet of ivory paper.

Then she turned and walked to the door once more. She refused to look again in fear that the chains would give way and flash-stepped away from the room, into the early morning air.

----------------------------------------------

Byakuya's nose twitched.

Something was missing. He was certain of it. Something that had been there when he went to sleep.

He opened his eyes slowly and looked around his room. It was still dark, but light was starting to filter through the door as the sun begun to rise. Then he realised what was wrong.

He was alone.

Immediately he stood, not bothering to recognise the faintest hints of head rush, and reached out his senses. She was gone. There was no doubt about it. Only the tiniest trace of her riatsu remained.

For some inexplicable reason his attention was drawn to his desk. He didn't know why, but it felt as if it was important. He walked over to it and peered down.

A folded paper lay on the smooth wooden surface. The familiar swirling handwriting brought his heart to a standstill.

_Byakuya_

He reached out a hand that was shaking slightly and picked the note up tentatively. With the utmost care, almost as if the sheet would fall apart in his hands, he lifted the top layer and read the contents. It was messy. It looked as if Kya had had almost the same amount of difficulty in writing it as he had in reading it. His mind became blank as he took in the words.

_I  
__It's  
__We  
__I'll_

These four words were each crossed out, scribbling lines cutting them before the sentence had been formed. Byakuya realised that it was only Kya's own pain that blocked their path. On some respects the thought comforted him; she was finding this hard. But deeper down it hurt him; Kya shouldn't have to feel pain. Not ever.

The rest of the page was blank save for one last sentence written hurriedly across the bottom. The words cut through him like a knife.

_I love you_

That was it. Nothing else.

The paper drifted down until it landed gracefully on the floor.

Even before it hit the ground, Byakuya had grabbed his robes and left as fast as he could.

He could still catch her.

----------------------------------------------

Grey clouds swirled above the old execution grounds. It was almost as if the weather itself had sensed the mood and changed itself to suit it better. It seemed that even though Seireitei's weather hardly altered, pathetic fallacy was still not out of the question.

A drop of liquid hit Kya's forehead. She looked up into the dark sky and watched as rain started to fall.

It would be soon. The gate would open soon.

"Kya!"

Kya's head jerked down at the voice and she spun around to meet the person running towards her frantically.

"Rangiku?" she asked disbelievingly. Since when had Matsumoto been an early riser? Scratch that. Since when did Matsumoto know this was the time and place she was leaving?

Matsumoto stopped when she reached her friend and breathed deeply. Running this early in the morning was not good on her health.

"I... just... wanted... to say..." she gasped breathlessly "that I... understand why... you're leaving"

Kya smiled sadly and embraced her friend in a huge hug. Matsumoto returned the gesture.

"Thank you" she said gratefully in Matsumoto's ear.

"You're welcome" Matsumoto replied quietly. Kya held back the tears and pulled away. She gave Matsumoto her best attempt at a reassuring smile.

"Now you didn't think you could just sneak off without us finding out, did you?" Kya blinked and turned to the person who had spoken. Shunsui stood at the edge of the clearing, a large grin on his face and Joshiro at his side.

"What are you two doing here?" Kya practically shouted in surprise. They took several steps forwards and started to approach her.

"Oh, you know, just saying goodbye to an old friend" Joshiro replied casually. A few more drops of rain hit Kya as she ran over to the pair and jumped on the both of them. Shunsui returned the hug with glee and Joshiro simply patted her back comfortingly.

"And it seems we're not the only ones with that idea" Joshiro said. Kya let go and looked at where he was looking. Her vision was shortly obscured by a pink swarm.

"Kyaaa! Don't leave me! Take me with you!"

Kya reached up and tried to pry the young Yachiru off her face so that she could breathe again. The wails only increased when she succeeded and held the girl instead to her chest.

"Yachiru, I'm sorry, I can't" Kya told her. The screaming got louder. "But don't worry, you have Ken-chan, he'll look after you"

"But he's not fun like you! He doesn't let me drink funny juice! He doesn't help me plan my attacks on the squirrels!" she cried hysterically.

"I'm no fun, ay?" Zaraki stood in front of Kya with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face. Yachiru immediately jumped off of Kya and clutched onto his chest.

"I didn't mean that, Ken-chan! Please don't leave me like Kya is!" she continued to yell manically. Kya stroked her hair trying to soothe her a bit. It worked somewhat, but not nearly as well as Zaraki's action. Yachiru whimpered quietly as she sucked on the lollypop that had been shoved aggressively into her mouth.

"Thanks, Ken-chan" Kya muttered quietly, biting back the tears that attacked the corner of her eyes at Yachiru's words. Zaraki mumbled something in response.

"I wish you a safe trip, Kya"

Kya bent and looked around Zaraki's massive form to get a clear view at who had spoken. She stepped around the brutish man and gave Unohana a small hug.

"I'll try" she told her as she pulled away. She tried to smile and found that it was almost impossible. This was why she didn't want any of them here. It would have been so much easier if she could have just gone quietly.

She looked around her and into the now steadily falling rain. Komamura was standing by the edge of the clearing. He nodded in acknowledgement of her. Kya bowed in return. Hitsugaya slouched grumpily beside him. It was kind of obvious that Matsumoto had dragged him along. And next to him stood Nemu, holding a jar of brightly glowing goop in her hand. Kya smiled at the sight of Mayuri. So he did want to say goodbye.

A slicing sound cut through the air and a gentle light shone from the edge of the cliff.

Kya turned and looked at the newly formed gate.

"Well, I guess that's me" she said trying to lighten the mood in whatever way she could. She walked towards the circle of light and stopped by its entrance. She looked at all the people that had chosen to see her off. Yachiru was screaming again. Zaraki looked pissed. Shunsui and Joshiro were smiling understandingly. Matsumoto was crying. She found herself wishing that someone else was here.

"See ya, then!" she called to everyone before turning. The rain hit her head as she took another step towards the gate. It was now or never.

She suddenly stopped. A hand rested on her shoulder. Her eyes widened as she slowly turned to face the owner.

She didn't get a chance to get a proper look at them because before she knew it she felt their lips crash down onto hers. Byakuya held her head in his hands as he kissed her. Kya's shock was only momentary before she closed her eyes and returned the kiss, placing her own hands on the back of his neck. She felt the desperation and silent pleading in his lips. She felt his frantic want for her to stay. For her not to step through that gate.

The rain only grew heavier as the tears she had been struggling to keep in all this time were finally allowed to escape. She sobbed mutely through the kiss and ran her hands agitatedly through his black hair, never wanting to have to let go.

Unfortunately for her, she had to.

Byakuya drew back and stared at her in the sodden eyes.

His kenseiken was missing. His scarf was absent. His captain's coat was lacking. It looked as if he had just taken off without a second's thought on how he looked.

"I thought you didn't like public displays of affection?" she asked jokily as the tears continued to stream down her face. Byakuya didn't smile but only continued to stare at her earnestly.

"Come back" he whispered in a voice that contained fear. Kya gulped. She couldn't say anything to that. Her assignments were always dangerous, and there would always be the chance that she wouldn't survive. She couldn't honestly guarantee that she would be able to return. And she couldn't lie to him.

Without saying anything, she leaned up and quickly kissed him again on the lips before stepping away.

There was no way in the world that she could have stopped crying now.

Byakuya gazed at her in terror at her silence. She couldn't take it anymore.

She turned and left, uttering only one word as she did so.

"Goodbye"

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**Ahhhh!!! So dramatic I think I fainted! Well, only the epilogue to go now. Then that's it. All over. Kaput.**

**Ok, now onto other important matters. So far reviews for the next story have been spread pretty evenly. The four most popular in no particular order are these:**

**- Gin  
****- Urahara  
****- Kyouya  
****- a sequel to this one **

**Just to let you know coz I forgot in the last one, the sequel would have hardly any Kya or Byakuya in. It would be like an entirely new story. I think I have decided that it would also be a Hitsugaya story, but when he's all grown up and shit. So no paedophilia, thank you very much.**

**Review or message and let me know what you think about these ones and also give me any ideas on how you'd like the story to work. I may tell you all what I have decided in the epilogue a/n, or I may just wait until I actually put it up. You'll have to see, won't you?**


	66. Epilogue

**Merry Christmas one and all! God bless us, every one**

**This is the end. I would just like to thank everyone who have added me to their lists or reviewed, coz you make this all worth while.**

**Epilogue **

-----------------------------------------

Byakuya sat at his desk, filling out the stream of forms that appeared to be endless. He was trying to act as if everything was normal. It wasn't. He had had to now assign Renji to reread any of the paperwork he did to make sure there weren't any mistakes. Usually, there were a lot. Something was distracting him from being his normal perfect worker self. Renji didn't like this for two reasons. First, it meant he had more work to do. Second, Byakuya being in a weird mood disrupted the entire division.

Maybe he was ill.

Maybe it was the other thing. The thing that everyone knew must be bothering him; the absence of a certain purple haired Shinigami.

Byakuya's eyes scanned the paper in front of him and read what he had just written. It didn't make sense. He sighed and looked up.

"Renji, I need another copy of form 236"

"Yes" Renji immediately stood up and walked out the room to find the paper Byakuya had asked him for.

Byakuya looked down at his desk. How long had it been now? The exact time didn't matter. However long it had been, it was too long.

At first there had been news. Yamamoto would call him into his office almost every day and each time he would be greeted by a small hell butterfly fluttering around him. Most of the messages were short. Simple 'I'm fine's or 'I hope the boredom's not killing your brain cells's. But it didn't matter how short they each were; to him they meant more than an entire essay from anyone else. They meant Kya was alright and thinking about him. But after a few weeks they had begun to slow down.

First they came every few days, then every week, then every fortnight, then every month, then not at all.

Byakuya wanted to believe that it was because she was just too busy or in a place where sending hell butterflies would be dangerous. He truly wanted to believe that. It wasn't unlikely that this was the case. When they had been dating previously she had gone off for months without word and had always returned safely.

But now was different.

Before he knew that she wanted to return. Now he wasn't so sure. Of course she loved him. He knew that as he did his own name. But what if that was what was stopping her from returning? What if her idea that he wasn't safe with her had set up shop in her mind and wouldn't leave? What if she wouldn't come back because of it?

Evidently, there was the other possibility for why he hadn't heard anything from her. But he didn't want to think about that. He would rather wallow in delusional ideas than believe that that could be true.

She was okay.

She had to be.

He gave up with trying to concentrate on his work and stood. He couldn't stay in this office forever. He had been trying to busy himself with his captain duties to distract himself from the other issue, but that wasn't very successful. Not that he could do that indefinitely. Eventually, he would have to take a break and let some of the thoughts return. He dreaded that moment.

And yet, he couldn't take this goddamn office any longer. He had to escape from it.

"Hey, Taicho, we're all out of that form but I've sent off for one from Yamamo-" Renji paused in his sentence and looked around the room. It was empty. Where had his captain gotten to now?

---------------------------------------

Byakuya leant against the railings on the veranda of the small garden connected to his room. He looked out at the green of the precisely cut grass and tall fresh trees. The air was cool, and yet no wind blew around him. The afternoon sunlight shone down on the grounds and cast long shadows across the earth. It was neat. Too neat as Kya would say. She never seemed to appreciate the effort from the staff that went into keeping his estate tidy. The opposite in fact; she hated the precision. She always used to say how it reminded her of her own disorderliness.

Byakuya cursed himself silently. He was thinking about her again. God, he wished he wouldn't think about her. It was just impossible when every single thing around him held memories of their time together.

He shouldn't be acting like this. The last time he had been so distracted was when Hisana had passed away. It wasn't noble. It wasn't efficient. It was redundant.

Why couldn't he just forget about it?

Now he was asking worthless questions. What was becoming of him? Naturally, he knew the answer to that question already.

He loved her.

"Where are you?" his whisper hung in the still air and echoed in his mind. It therefore surprised him when he got a reply.

"You shouldn't be so doubtful, you know. It's bad on your health"

Byakuya's eyes widened at the quiet voice that cut through his thoughts. Its owner leaned over his shoulder from behind and spoke with their lips almost brushing his ear.

He spun around on the spot in shock.

"Kya?" he breathed out still in disbelief. Kya smiled and tilted her head to the side, purple waves cascading down her shoulder.

"Well, who were you expecting?" she said teasingly "Captain Jack Sparrow?"

Byakuya didn't even care who this Captain Sparrow was. His mind was far too preoccupied in exploding.

Kya looked thoughtful for a second.

"Although," she continued "I could always dress up as a pirate if you wanted. They are very cool"

"But- You- How-" Byakuya garbled, "When did you get back?"

"Oh, about ten minutes ago" Kya dismissed with a wave of a hand. "Surprised?"

Byakuya's answer didn't come in the form of words. He suddenly grabbed Kya around the waist and pulled her closer. Both pair of eyes shut as their lips connected. Kya's hands rested against his chest. One of his was lifted and gently pulled a strand of hair out of her face. Kya let out a soft moan through the kiss.

Byakuya pulled back and gazed at her. Her eyes were still shut and a blank expression was on her face.

"God, you have no idea how much I've missed doing that" she said still without opening her eyes. He held her around the waist and peered down at her, suddenly sober.

"How long until your next mission?" he asked seriously. Her eyes fluttered to life and stared at him, returning the sombre look.

"Ten days" she answered quietly. He tipped his head and rested his forehead against hers, taking in the memorable feeling of her touch. A corner of his lips upturned into a small smile.

"I suppose we should make the most of those ten days, then" he whispered playfully. A slight smirk crossed Kya's features.

"Yes, I suppose we should"

---------------------------------------

**And there you have it. The end. I know it werent that good. I'm not completely happy with the way that turned out, but oh well.**

**So today I finally finished my Xmas shopping. I know, I know, a bit late on Xmas eve. But you know what? You leave it this long and the sales have started! So everythings cheap! My brother will love his pressie, especially the lip gloss set I got him.**

**I think I have decided that the next story will be a Gin one, coz he is ultra cool. I just found out that he was voted 5th most popular character in Bleach. That's above Byakuya! Go Go Ginny Gin! If anyone has major issues with that though leave a review aand I'll consider your opinion on the matter.**

**Also, I did a very quick illustration for the last chapter. It's on my deviantart (link on my profile)**

**Til next time, toodles.**


	67. Sequel

_**Sequel**_

**Hey guys, sorry for filling up your inbox with this alert, and I know it's more than a little overdue, but I thought that maybe some of you hadn't realised I've now put up the aforementioned sequel to this fic.**

**It focuses around Kya and Byakuya's eldest kid, Arikka, and how she develops a relationship with our favourite child genius Toshiro Hitsugaya. **

**It's also (I have realised after reading through this story again) fantastically better written than this one. I accept that's not difficult since this is appalling in regards to clichés, grammar and downright writing in general, but the point still stands.**

**Anyways, thought you guys would appreciate the update.**


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